For further perspective, reference the following blogs:
Day 179 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Part 1.1 - Fear of Being Exposed
Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2 Day 181 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light - Part 2.1
Day 182 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light Part 2.2
Day 183 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Not Making It - Part 3.1
Day 184 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Fear of Not Making It – Part 3.2
Day 186 – How to Stop the Fear of Failure
Within looking at this fear, the fearing of death, I see it is as a fear of facing the consequence of myself and this world as a whole, in death I realize there is no escape to who I have become and what I have contributed to this world, if anything significant and this I find I resist. Within this realization, I fear death because I fear losing my chance to correct myself, fear that I will not be able to get my process done in the physical and have to do it from the dimensions, and a fear of missing out in life and getting an equal world and system in place. So I see this as a fear of facing the consequence of myself within my physical individual process as well as facing myself within the world system and the world existential process, and will I be able to get everything done before this final absolute point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own self existence in where I go into a petrification of myself within my mind in the thoughts and imaginations I create of what could happen or what might happen in death rather then being here and stable within myself and my living into a breath movement of self stability in the physical. I realize and understand within myself that when I allow my mind to wander and thus I allow this fear of myself and what is to come consume me I will accumulate and accumulate this fear energy into more and more energy as petrification where more and more thoughts come up to fuel these fears and thus I go into a constriction to not being able to even move and express within a stable point in my world and living.
I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of fear of myself and thus go into the mind and start imagining what will be at death, I stop and breath, and focus on my breathing letting go of the thoughts unconditionally and not allowing myself to fuel them. I also commit to breath through the fear of what may come of myself and focus on what I am physically doing in this present moment, focus on what is here, and only work with what is here as that is all that is here and real, and thus I work within reality, using common sense and my physical application to walk myself into equality with all life as solutions that are best for all and best for this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into these thoughts of what will happen to me and what will come of me at death, and thus create a fear within this where I fear facing who I have become within a point of self judgment, and thus allowing myself to sabotage my process in this moment due to fear and self judgment of who I am being within a process that is here and being walked and can not be judgedbecause it is what it is. I realize that judging myself and thus allowing fears to direct me into fearing death and within this not allowing myself to move, I will compromise myself and not allow myself to really progress and move within my process to get what is needed done and correct this point of fear.
I commit myself to when these fears come up and I go into my mind, and then create and fuel this fear of death with sabotaging myself through self judgment, I stop and breath, and do not accept and allow myself to go into this fear and self judgment by focusing on what is real through my movement and focus on my physical body by breathing, staying in breath, and staying physically active.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is to come once I am dead and that I fear this point of the unknown and thus accept ideas in my head of what might happen, and thus I go into the worst case scenarios which fuel this fear in my mind. I realize that participating within this fear, I will accumulate and exist within fear not being able to move, and so I realize I have to stop the ideas and projections of worst-case scenarios, and focus on what is here.
I commit myself to when and as I go into this fear and ideas, I stop and breath, and push myself to commit to walking in breath, not looking into the future or the pas, but remaining here in the physical. Self forgiving that which is not aligned with what is here in breath in the physical, and walk the correction so I am stable and not allowing fears as ideas of worst case to direct me as this is not real and not practical in finding solutions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is within me and fear facing this eventually in death, showing I am fearing it facing it here in the physical sabotaging my process due to fear od what I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is within me as bad as I realize it is not to be judged or condemned but realize it’s me and change it to align to what is best.
I commit myself to stop the fear of facing myself, and thus walk my process in each moment, directing myself and not allowing fear to influence me into inaction. I stop judging this fear as bad or myself as bad, and accept me by walking here in the physical and accepting what is here, and breathing and living with no judgments but equality with all and solutions in what is best for all.
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