Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day 181 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light - Part 2.1

For reference please check out the following blogs:

Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2

Here looking at another fear that has created anxiety within me and stress within my living due to allowing this fear to take over at times and direct my living into uncomfortable situations and uncomfortability within me. This fear is the fear of being seen in a bad light by others, and the basis of this fear is due to the desire to impress others and have them see me as 'good' or 'successful' as this is something I value in others seeing me in this way as I have defined myself by this value. The point that is missing within this is the common sense within what this fear ends up creating and the uneasiness within my living when this fear comes up and takes over. So if I am with a group of people, and I find I am desiring these people to like me and see me as good at whatever it is we are doing, I will immediately go into this point of fear based on now creating thisexpectation that I have to be good to be seen in this way by the others. So creating the point of failure, which is another fear that is created within this fear of being seen in a bad light from others, which creates more layers of separation just by accepting this initial fear of what others think of me.

If I stopped existing within this fear, then I would have more focus and drive for whatever it is that the group is doing, but due to accepting and allowing the preoccupation of what comes with this fear of having others see me in a bad light, I go into thoughts of what others are thinking of me as I move within the physical, do others think that I am doing a good job, am I contributing enough for others to see me as a resource, and then the reactions of embarrassment or anxiety if I don't live up to this expectation as my physical will respond with starting to speed up within what I am doing based on the anxiety building within me now of the fear and expectation's not being met, and all this causing me to be unstable and uncertain within myself around others as I never actually have any indication of what is going on within others minds, so it's left up to my own imagination, and this is what the mind do best, create images in the mind to separate ourselves from our own physical body into consequence that is best for the mind to access energy not what is best for me as the life being within.

So it's like a silent 'killer' so to speak as it's causing me to be less then my fullest potential and sucking the life force out of me while it soaks in the energy I am producing within these fear activations. What would be my fullest potential is to be completely here in and as my breath in directive will in full awareness of all dimensions of all the life in this existence, this being able to be accomplished through living in absolute equality and oneness with all life, this is actually our true state of being, but has been lost due to the addiction to the mind as energy and within this has created the instability within the polarities we live from as in which the mind feed from within, both as the positive and negative. The positive always activating the negative as the negative always activate the positive, as these two will always balance out in one's world as they need each other to exist, such as love and fear, to have love in your life there has to be fear to realize what that love is, but within this it causes separation because the feared part is resisted based on who we are within it, denying it within us and allowing it to direct us, when the fear is us, we are creating it thus is our responsibility to correct it into alignment with equality and oneness, the true state of what life is.

This is to be corrected through the tools of self forgiveness and self commitment statements so one can realize for oneself it's not to separate ourselves from what is here as life into polarities, as we are in essence both polarities, the accepting one and resisting the other is what create the instability, so I am walking the point of accepting the fear as me and through the acceptance realizing that the fear of being seen as bad is not in fact real because it's not in fact physical, it's in my mind, thus I am able to stop it through existing here in the physical, living from the physical and directing the physical in common sense. Stopping the thoughts as fears and living within what is here, that all in the group are equal as life and there is no competition within us, we are all able to contribute and cooperate, and thus find the common ground within us and create supportive ways to do whats best for all. Stopping the mind as separation and get to the physical as what is real, fear is the mind as it's not physical, thus it needs to be stopped within the dimensions of the minds layers and corrected through my living in the physical, to prove to myself that I am being for real, this always through the guidance of writing.

A memory I will look at is when I was at the farm, being in fear of others seeing me in a bad light when it was found out that I didn't continue my vlogging as I had committed and being in fear that I will lose respect and people will see me as not committed to what my words.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

No comments:

Post a Comment