Monday, December 3, 2012

Day 184 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Fear of Not Making It – Part 3.2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it in this world due to the belief that who I am is not good enough or capable enough to live what it takes to become successful in this system. I realize that within this belief that I am not good enough, I am sabotaging myself within my starting point when walking this point of anything I am doing, and will not become my fullest potential because I am notseeing myself at the optimum I can be which is in equality with others.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this belief of seeing myself less then others and thus living this out in my actions of not going for things full out, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to live into this point of self sabotage by doing things full out in the best I can and not participating in the thoughts that say I can’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self sabotage within believing that I am not good enough compared to other people and thus accepted this fear of that I am not going to make it, because I am basing myself in comparison with the ideas I have in my head of what it takes to make it. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed pictures of successful people in business suits with nice and fancies clothes, cars and gadgets that look very proper and done up, and within myself believe that I can never be this way because I don’t see myself keeping everything together as I don’t have the patience’s to do so. I realize that within this point of judging a picture as more then me and then comparing myself to these people in the external world that fit this picture, I am creating the platform for self sabotage as I can’t compete with a picture in my mind I am holding as the standard of what success is as this is not real success put only living into imagination as the mind, and never truly living my own success within my own living in my own physical doing. I also realize that within this point of patience’s it is to practice and become consistent within the patience with myself to learn and thus physically practice and become proficient within a point of study so I can realize how to do something within understanding within each detail and each step that it will take, so thus embrace patience’s within and as my own self doing and living, and stop the rush to get things done within a heist of what others may or will think.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this desire to be successful and go into my mind to see what successful is through pictures and thus then go and compare myself to others who fit this picture and see myself as less then this because I don’t have enough patience to be successful, I stop and breath, and re-align myself with myself through physical movement. I stop my participation in ideas about what is success through pictures of people in my mind, so then to stop the judging of myself by not accepting myself to compare myself to others. Here I commit to find my own pace of becoming successful in my living in what it is I am doing in each moment, and learn and become educated in the fields that is necessary to help me understand and become more expanded within what it is I am interested in. I realize and commit to push myself to walk each step it will take to get the task done that are necessary to be done to get greater understanding in what I am looking and studying in to thus then become successful by applying what I understand to my living and so I can help others do the same and help myself be more aware of what it is I am living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it and failing in life when I realize and see what is necessary to be done, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this fear in my mind because I am only looking within the point of my own self interest in not having this perfect picture of happiness in my mind, and thus judging all the points in my head that I find that are not aligning with this point as I am looking at things to be a certain way and expect it to go this way, but realize that this is not possible nor the way life is, so I stop and let go of this belief that happiness is a picture I have to live into, and start living within each and every moment that is here with no expectation of what is to come.

I commit myself to when and as I go into self interest in a point of desiring to have this point of happiness in my life, I stop and breath, and do not accept the fear that will come with this desire, by stopping both from directing me. I commit myself to live in breath, live in what it is I am doing each and every day, and commit myself to walk step by step into what is best for all within what I can do to bring this about, it’s not about the success of me in this life, but of all life and what I can do to help bring this about. I commit to let go of this desire to be happy in my world, and push myself to expand myself and grow in what it is I am living so I don’t allow any point of resistance or fear to hold me back realizing I am here in the physical and thus I use common sense to walk the process to my success as life in oneness and equality with all other life.

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