A Lady's Journey to Life: Day 298 – Self Judgment – Is Comparison the root of all Evil?

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Day 298 – Self Judgment – Is Comparison the root of all Evil?

What I have realized through excellent support within the series on eqafe, The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination – specifically in regards to walking through the dimensions of self judgment, and how in essence it is based on a point of bullying, punishing, and sabotage oneself through one’s own hand so to speak as thoughts, backchat, imaginations, pictures, and memories one participate in based on comparisons one has made and continues to exist within through out ones days and eventually one’s life. And so, I as self judgment through comparison define myself constantly and continuously through my external world through polarities based on my own self interest desires of wanting to be perfect for others, and so I stay trapped within the mind in abuse as there is no end to this because it’s impossible to fulfill as it is not real, it’s in my mind, and the mind and reality never match up.

Comparison is not a single event that one does and then just leaves from that moment to the next, it stays with you over time and through time, and you define and continue to redefine yourself from this external view of the mind as a comparison over and over and over again, seeming that it is a new scenario cause it is a new environment, but it’s the same pattern repeating in the mind.

Comparison is the root of all evil of self I found based on the nature of who one is within it, this for me has always been me against myself, not being satisfied with who I am in some parts and thus desiring to make these parts better through seeing what it look like and trying to change it to be that. But what is not realized within this on the surface is the amount of self judgment, anger, jealousy, and resentment is built because within the physical aspect I do not like for instance, I can never change, I mean I can’t reconstitute my physical body to be different shaped, different look, different position, it’s impossible, so I am fighting the impossible basically not realizing that this fight is and will continue to go no where. But I continue because there is that time where I am more, I do have a comparison where I am better, so then I feel good again about myself. It’s like an unconscious sleep walking cycle I have been living in, seeing myself powerless to stop this based on not realizing that there was another way, that is where desteni has stepped in and stepped up to show me how to correct these points and stay committed to do this.

Within the mind of the human, we like to create that which isn’t actually there in reality, but more often then not I define myself and determine who I am based on this conclusion of the results of my mind imaginations, and thus based on desires and not common sense, I search for this impossibility as perfection within the ideal picture I have created in my mind of this. Now I realize that the physical can and will never match up with my mind because the mind doesn’t and can not take physical reality into consideration. The mind is creating itself from memories as thoughts that are stored within the physical body, and uses this database of memories to define self to it’s own optimum outcome not in consideration of me as the self in equality, but in the interest of itself as an energy generator. The mind is after energy, and me as self judgment within the constant dueling of this judgment through comparison through jealousy, superiority, inferiority, and a whole host of other emotions and feelings that are activated within these scenarios in my world are fueling the mind continuously And so the mind is gaining a lot of energy for it’s own generation of itself within and as the physical body, and all the while I as the life force within the physical body am living in misery and instability.

I realize I am doing this to myself, I am the being within the mind and within my body accepting and allowingto be directed by energy and desires, and thus seeing what I am doing to myself as the abuse to my body mentally and physically, and the abuse to others as anger outburst, jealousy, and arrogance. I am here to take responsibility for this pattern once and for all of comparison and self judgment, and thus use the tool of comparison for what is best for all in practical physical considerations, stopping making it about me, and use it for what it’s purpose is, compare what is here and find what is best.