A Lady's Journey to Life: Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety

Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge something that I have done or have had happen to me as bad and thus create a suppression around it based on fear of others finding out. I realize that when I create a suppression around a point I have judged I will go into this fear based on believing that I will be seen as bad for doing such an act or having something happen to me, which cause no solution within the point, but only accumulates energy and is stored as memories for me to limit myself from in my physical body because they are not being dealt with.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a judgment of an act I do or something that has been done to me as bad, I stop and breath, and do not allow the thoughts to continue as I realize this will limit me in my living and I see this as unbeneficial to and so I commit myself to when and as I go into judgment stop the thoughts and do self forgiveness to correct the point, and not allow it to have power over me, but direct it within the moment to a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a memory within me of fear of exposure due to living this within the time I wet the bed, and holding onto this memory for some time within me, hiding it, based on this fear of not wanting others to know, and thus becoming manipulative so others will not find out and stunt my expression as I am being deceptive within this. I realize that within this fear and suppression I am not allowing myself to release the point and find out the origin of what it’s about and why it occurred, but instead creating more layers as the mind as memories as these thoughts of being exposed, and thus cause abuse to myself through suppressing and not releasing the point to be corrected.

I commit myself to when and as I find I am going into a suppression about a point I fear others finding out about, I stop and breath, and commit myself to write the point out in private, to find out the origin of the fear and suppression, and thus come to a solution so it doesn’t have power over me any longer, such as stopping the judgment which is not real and standing within stability of who I am and finding out the solution to the wetting or why it’s occurring to be corrected, and get it dealt with so I am free of it and have it stop having power over me because it is understood within myself instead of just suppressed and feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being outcasted by others based on holding onto the belief that those who wet the bed are not normal, and thus create a judgment against those that wet the bed. I realize that holding onto this judgment is useless as it only hinders me, when I can get the point corrected, as obviously there is a point that is not working properly within me, and thus stopping this belief and getting the support I need to help my physical function properly.

I commit myself to when and as I go into beliefs about how people see things or think about things, I stop and breath, and find within the point through writing what is the common sense practical solution to what it is I am facing. Allowing for assistance and support when I realize something is not ok within my body, and stopping the beliefs when they arise from directing me. I commit to focus on fact and the physical and let go of beliefs and fears as these are illusions as they are of the mind, and are not supporting me to live to my fullest potential, so I commit to let go of the illusion as mind within thoughts, and focus and practice living from the physical until I am here.