Saturday, March 16, 2013

Day 252 - The Vengeful Character - Resolving the Abuse Within Me with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments

For Further Perspective on the Vengeful Character, check out these Blogs:
Day 244 - How is Vengefulness Created within me? –Vengeful Character
Day 245 - I am An Addict - Opening Up More on Vengefulness
Day 246 - The Family Unit and the Vengeful Character
Day 247 - The Vengeful Character – “Believing I Require Possessing” Self Forgiveness
Day 248 – The Vengeful Character – “Believing I Require Possessing” Self Commitments to Live
Day 249 – The Vengeful Character – Ownership
Day 250 – The Vengeful Character – Ownership – Self Corrections to Live
Day 251 – Why do I want to Hit Someone? – More on the Vengeful Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go within my head and accept backchat thoughts of seeing others at fault and blaming others for taking my things without asking me, and then going into my mind and abusing them within words or actual physical actions of beating them up as imaginations playouts of harming them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to beat up others within my mind and harming them with words in my mind to make myself feel more powerful and feel better about myself because within the situation that was lived with the other in reality I felt weak and scared to face the other in the point of directing the situation with the other because I perceived myself as weaker and so used my mind to become strong again through abusing them and making them weak, but obviously this is not real and empowering my mind more then myself in me physically solving problems in stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a tool to abuse others because I am accepting fear to direct me into suppressing my expression in reality rather then stopping the fear and finding out the facts and resolving the situation into solution within this physical real reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed backchat thoughts of this person is so rude and annoying taking my things, they don’t listen to me and don’t respect me, how dare they just take my things, when in reality I don’t know if any of this is true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take others actions towards me or my things that I am using at this moment personal and believe I am being accosted or attacked when someone has something of mine, when in reality it is just a point of another using something that I have in my possession for the moment for some reason, as I realize it's just a object and can be shared equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not resolve the issue by directing myself within the physical with the other in the moment it occurred, but rather suppress myself into myself and take my anger out on them in my mind, and then after many of these suppressions of my expressions into the mind of abuse imagination playout, I will eventually accumulate this anger to such an extent where I will blow up on them and yell and scream and may physically harm them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself and cause abuse in my mind and then eventually in the physical instead of taking responsibility for my actions, stopping the fear, and directing the situation in what is best for both in the physical with the other in equality and thus into solutions.

When and as I go into a point of back chatting about another about what they have done and what I have assumed the reason this of this being done, I stop and breath, and say no, I do not know if this is true or not, I stop this backchat now, and I direct myself to find the facts from the other.

I commit myself to when I go into a backchat thought of anger in accusing another, I stop and do not participate by seeing that the consequence will be abuse to this person.

I commit to direct myself to communicate with the other and find out what the situation is, what the facts are that they took my object, and see if they really need it and when it will be available again for later use.

I commit myself to let others have things that I am not using.

I commit to let go of things that I feel like are mine and allow myself to be free of it so I can live with or without something, and thus stop the addiction to it.

When and as I go into a point of starting to accumulate anger and beating others in my mind, I flag this and breath ad stop immediately, I am now in the stages of accepting the fear and suppressing myself within abusing in my mind and imagination and I realize this will lead to outbursts in the physical were I will go into anger as abuse and harm another in word or physically.

I commit myself to see the point of fear and suppression, and not accept myself any longer doing to go into to this and allow it to direct me into not speaking up and finding the facts, but suppress myself. I direct myself to the point that I am fearing and trying to suppress, by doing what it is I fear and showing to myself that I am capable and I can move myself when necessary.

I commit myself to always push myself when this fear come up to see myself less then others and suppress myself, and direct myself to speak to that other realizing that we are equal in fact and we are both life, we both breath the same air, and that we both can communicate in stability.

I commit myself to come to solutions with the other within a point of understanding and acceptance and find solutions that will work for both through understanding the other and what the facts are to thus direct according to the best case for both as i have no self interest in usage and find what will work.

I commit myself to never again allow myself to accumulate anger in my mind, through not accepting these thoughts and image playouts any longer, and pushing myself in the physical to walk and move in the physical and stay here as breath when these moments of fear come up to suppress myself and use my mind as a punching bag for another. I stop this abusive playout in my mind and eventually into the physical.

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