Looking here at the appearance character, and the thought
dimension that activate and thus put me into character as this point of
creating myself in such a way that I become possessed by the way I look and how
others are seeing me.
The thoughts that activate this character are based on thoughts
activating attention on my face, as it is not symmetrical, and thus not
perfect, so the imperfection that are there, I have defined as less then other
human beings because I have allowed this point of perfection to direct me in
defining who I am and who others are to me. This is a point that is happening
in my internal conversations and backchat, as it’s points that I would never
tell anyone or allow anyone in on, as this I would see as a point of vulnerability,
which was unacceptable to show as I was competing in thought because I was in
compensation for the thoughts of inadequacy I was feeling based on the
imperfection and not being able to match up in my appearance with others around
me.
I realize though that I am the one who is creating this
within myself, by allowing the thoughts of my face not being the perfect picture I have in my mind, realizing that this has been accentuated and
really distorted over time in my head, where when I do not think, and just
live, I am fine, I enjoy myself and I see myself as fine. So it’s the thinking
that creates the anxiety and the judgment of myself and so towards others that
creates the point of weakness within me where I will fall into suppression and
limiting my self expression. The thought pattern is based on judging myself
usually, and thus with those I see as more then me in their appearance, seeing
this point of not being able to compete with them, and thus seeing myself as
less then because of this.
This also is within the polarity where I will go into
superiority of the same point, where I see that I am seeing myself as more then
another based on the way our appearance look. This is initiated within the
thoughts of particular points within the appearance look that I have determined
as a ‘cool’ way to be, such as the clothes, shoes, hair, the whole look, so
it’s like a scan that will happen and from the scan, I will make a general
assessment of if I will be able to compete or not, if so, I will gain a high
feeling. If I am not matched up, I will suppress myself and thus shut myself
down, and if someone makes a comment towards me or I took a point as rude, I
will further go into suppression and devolve into myself as a lowly fuck up.
So a key point of the thoughts within initiating the
thinking of comparison and judgment of others and self will then bring me into
the point of self victimization, where I find that I go into blame towards my body
features, such as why do I have to be this way, why can’t I just be the way I
like, and allow emotions of anger and irritation towards my physical because I
am not happy with the way it is. This is absolute self abdication, as first I
am allowing myself to be defined by the picture only of the physical and
separate myself from what is here as life as the entirety of the the physical
consist of within and as me and also within the world as a whole. Also,
separating myself from my responsibility of what is here in terms of my
physical body, I have created and thus manifested my body as is based on the
way I live. Disease for instance is not created based on the body saying ‘hey
man, I am going to fuck with myself here, and give myself a disease because I
don’t like the being in this body.’ No, I am the being in the body as well as the
physical that is manifested as the body as well as the mind that is infused and
merged throughout the physical body, I am the one who is creating and directing
the mind which is a parasitic entity within and as the physical as the physical
body as myself, and thus through the thoughts, reactions, memories,
personalities, that I am continually accepting over the years of the mind
eating and storing itself in the physical itself, the disease and misalignments
develops and accumulates, it’s a physical consequence that is created and manifested
through my participation alone within the mind over time.
So the thoughts that I accept of blame and anger towards the
physical body, is only pointing the finger at myself and showing that I am
abdicating responsibility for my own self-creation as disease and misalignment
in the body. I have to take responsibility for my thoughts, actions, memories,
and all the other mind components, to align the physical body to perfection as
I perfect my living equal and one to it, so the misalignment is showing me that
I am not self perfected within my living and still allowing the mind to direct.
For now, I have to walk my consequence and start accepting responsibility of
myself for what is here, as a gift as the physical, which gives the path to
birth life from it unconditionally even though it’s been abused by self for
ages. Quite a point to consider for self, and stop the abuse of the physical
for my own self abdication to living in the mind in illusion missing what is here in reality, life.
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Scott Cook -
Check Him out here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/scott.cook.56
Blogs: http://scottalancook.blogspot.com/
2012, alone, appearance, behavior, bernard poolman, best, character, compete, compete to win, desteni, dimension, fear, gladiator, picture perfect, psychology, rejection, survival of the fittest, system, win, equal money system, self change
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