Saturday, September 22, 2012

Day 133 – Appearance Character – Thought Dimension

Looking here at the appearance character, and the thought dimension that activate and thus put me into character as this point of creating myself in such a way that I become possessed by the way I look and how others are seeing me.

The thoughts that activate this character are based on thoughts activating attention on my face, as it is not symmetrical, and thus not perfect, so the imperfection that are there, I have defined as less then other human beings because I have allowed this point of perfection to direct me in defining who I am and who others are to me. This is a point that is happening in my internal conversations and backchat, as it’s points that I would never tell anyone or allow anyone in on, as this I would see as a point of vulnerability, which was unacceptable to show as I was competing in thought because I was in compensation for the thoughts of inadequacy I was feeling based on the imperfection and not being able to match up in my appearance with others around me.

I realize though that I am the one who is creating this within myself, by allowing the thoughts of my face not being the perfect picture I have in my mind, realizing that this has been accentuated and really distorted over time in my head, where when I do not think, and just live, I am fine, I enjoy myself and I see myself as fine. So it’s the thinking that creates the anxiety and the judgment of myself and so towards others that creates the point of weakness within me where I will fall into suppression and limiting my self expression. The thought pattern is based on judging myself usually, and thus with those I see as more then me in their appearance, seeing this point of not being able to compete with them, and thus seeing myself as less then because of this.

This also is within the polarity where I will go into superiority of the same point, where I see that I am seeing myself as more then another based on the way our appearance look. This is initiated within the thoughts of particular points within the appearance look that I have determined as a ‘cool’ way to be, such as the clothes, shoes, hair, the whole look, so it’s like a scan that will happen and from the scan, I will make a general assessment of if I will be able to compete or not, if so, I will gain a high feeling. If I am not matched up, I will suppress myself and thus shut myself down, and if someone makes a comment towards me or I took a point as rude, I will further go into suppression and devolve into myself as a lowly fuck up.

So a key point of the thoughts within initiating the thinking of comparison and judgment of others and self will then bring me into the point of self victimization, where I find that I go into blame towards my body features, such as why do I have to be this way, why can’t I just be the way I like, and allow emotions of anger and irritation towards my physical because I am not happy with the way it is. This is absolute self abdication, as first I am allowing myself to be defined by the picture only of the physical and separate myself from what is here as life as the entirety of the the physical consist of within and as me and also within the world as a whole. Also, separating myself from my responsibility of what is here in terms of my physical body, I have created and thus manifested my body as is based on the way I live. Disease for instance is not created based on the body saying ‘hey man, I am going to fuck with myself here, and give myself a disease because I don’t like the being in this body.’ No, I am the being in the body as well as the physical that is manifested as the body as well as the mind that is infused and merged throughout the physical body, I am the one who is creating and directing the mind which is a parasitic entity within and as the physical as the physical body as myself, and thus through the thoughts, reactions, memories, personalities, that I am continually accepting over the years of the mind eating and storing itself in the physical itself, the disease and misalignments develops and accumulates, it’s a physical consequence that is created and manifested through my participation alone within the mind over time.

So the thoughts that I accept of blame and anger towards the physical body, is only pointing the finger at myself and showing that I am abdicating responsibility for my own self-creation as disease and misalignment in the body. I have to take responsibility for my thoughts, actions, memories, and all the other mind components, to align the physical body to perfection as I perfect my living equal and one to it, so the misalignment is showing me that I am not self perfected within my living and still allowing the mind to direct. For now, I have to walk my consequence and start accepting responsibility of myself for what is here, as a gift as the physical, which gives the path to birth life from it unconditionally even though it’s been abused by self for ages. Quite a point to consider for self, and stop the abuse of the physical for my own self abdication to living in the mind in illusion missing what is here in reality, life. 

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Scott Cook -

Check Him out here:

2012, alone, appearance, behavior, bernard poolman, best, character, compete, compete to win, desteni, dimension, fear, gladiator, picture perfect, psychology, rejection, survival of the fittest, system, win, equal money system, self change

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