Here looking at the appearance character that exist within and as me, directing and defining every moment that I breath as I have for a very long time, always looked to define myself and life by this unseen force as one of my characters I play as the appearance character, and in this created many dimensions of mind fucks that I will be walking through within the next coming blogs.
So I find one of the primary trigger points for the activation of this character, as the appearance character, is thinking. When I actually go and start thinking about the way I look and how others are perceiving me, then the thoughts accumulate and accumulate, and I go into suppression and self judgment based on accepting this belief that I am this character that has definitions, ideas, beliefs, and desires on how it is I should look, and what will be the perfect look to strive for. This belief is based on childhood and growing up with the media, friends, family, schooling, pushing consciously, subconsciously, or unconsciously, that we all are in competition with each other because we are in survival mode here to live, we have to be the best to have access to resources, to get what we need to eat, to get a job to make money, to get the guy/girl, it’s the inherent game of the survival of the fittest battle. So from birth we are bred to compete, to be the conquer, to be the dominant one, to be the smartest, to be the prettiest, to be the richest, so we can win, and thus be able to live another day and survive in this world. We have created this world were we aren’t free here, but slaves to the system as we have accepted ourselves to play into this fame with each other, and with ourselves as well.
So within this understanding, we as the beings in this survival mentality, walk within ourselves the separation of ourselves as life as equals, and compete and fight to get on top, cause if your on top, you are more guaranteed to survive, but is this really living. Obviously not, that is what the process at desteni is about, to stop ourselves from living in such a way. We are not slaves, we are not designed to compete and have to battle to survive, we don’t have to live into the seperations and comparisions that create such a hellish experience within us and without as this world DEMONstrates, there is another way. Walking the process of self honesty and self forgiveness, to stop the competition programming and the desires to be more, and simply live in the physical, as the physical within a breath movement, and correct ourselves into equality and oneness. This is not an easy path, but it’s the only way to stop the insanity of this system and the insanity that I see within myself.
So within my own expericing of this point of competition where in I activate my appearance character, I find that it is the primary points I use to judge my ‘compeition’ and judge myself to see if I stand up to the competition. In most cases, I do not stand up, so I have created many points of suppressions in my expression, self sabotage within my interactions with others, based on judging myself within who I am, and it’s subtle sabotage, where in I will see myself in a mirror, and instantly judge my hair not being as I desired it to and have created a picture in my mind as how it should be. So creating many points of self judgement on points I am finding are really irrelevant, but is necessary to walk through and stop as I change my living to be in equality with others in the physical, and not in separation from the mind’s view.
Featured Artist: Ann Van Den Broeck
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beauty system, beauty, model loo, appearance, appearance character, how to perfect my look, perfect body, competition, survival, slave, capitalism, survival of the fittest, desteni, 2012, journey to life