Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Day 132 – Appearance Character – Fear Dimension





Here looking at the fear dimension of the appearance character, where I go into fear based on not being accepted by others as I believe I have to be the ‘best’ within what I look like as my ‘appearance’ to be accepted by the this system, so it’s a form of survival based on defining myself and limiting myself really to the appearance of how I look. Within this fear, it is based on fear of being alone, not having resources to be able to move, and on a process level having to take responsibility of myself completely as I have allowed isolation as a way to escape to not have to face this accept of myself. So will walk some self forgiveness on these aspects of the fear dimension of keeping myself locked and limited into the appearance character as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of not surviving due to my appearance picture not being accepted by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my appearance character will not be able to compete with other’s so thus I will not be able to survive in this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to compete in this system if I don’t have my appearance picture being able to compete and thus win against others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself based on survival and thus be directed by the mind as I instruct it to be defined by looks and looking the ‘best’ in picture as physical look, clothes, hair, make up, shoes, and thus define all other beings within these judgments of what is best, I separate myself from life as I have separated myself from myself through allowing the appearance of myself be more valued then life as me and all others around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a separation of myself as ‘I need to look best’ as the appearance character activate within and as me, and thus cause abuse within behavior and words as points such as jealousy and inferiority will activate as well as their polar opposites to thus separate me from life as what the characters of the mind where designed to do, because life is not valued based on what one look like or being the ‘best’ as this is not equality, life is equal and thus valued equal among all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my status as  the winner as within this there is the succulence of the mind energy that when one activate it, is quite addictive as the feelings of power, gaining system rewards such as fame, money, sex, and thus abdicate my right to life based on separating myself from life for these temptations that the system offer, but when one realize the limitations we have set upon ourselves, this process of self honesty and self forgiveness to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into isolation as suppression within myself as I have created the fear of not being the best, and so thus created this as such an extreme within my emotions as feeling disappointed and jealous towards the other who I se as better then me, I will hide and not want to face myself with others, so to escape avoiding the thoughts in my head that I have allowed to direct me in thinking that life is about winning and to be the best in the appearance as self is the ultimate way to get the survival I fear losing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others who I see that are more then me as I have created a fear of abuse from them as I have held onto abuse from the past, and thus defined my future from my past, repeating the same patterns of fear and isolation to not have to face these fears and really change for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change in where I have to face the thoughts that I can’t do this and I can’t be that, and thus walk through them, and live a change that supports me and assist me to be comfortable with myself and come from a starting point of the physical here as breath, stopping the thoughts from directing me as this is the point that is separating me from life here as myself, and really enjoy living, so I see thinking is the activation point, and thus needs to cease to exist by me stopping it from directing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection from others and thus being alone and thus associated this rejection to my appearance, that if I am rejected or perceive that I was rejected that this is automatically based on me not looking ‘my best’ within my appearance and thus will go into the pattern of immediate self sabotage as I will go into thoughts of ‘I am ugly’, ‘I will never attain my desires’, which is self interest as I desire to be the best and gain the power of others attention on me.

Will do self corrective statements, and then follow with the next dimension of thoughts for the appearance character. 


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fear, rejection, alone, appearance, character, dimension, behavior, psychology, fear, compete, win, best, picture perfect, system, survival of the fittest, compete to win, gladiator, desteni, 2012, bernard poolman, #teamlife, #changetheworld

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