My Journey to Life: rejection

Showing posts with label rejection. Show all posts

Saturday, March 30, 2019

Self Forgiveness (Day 6): The Truth behind Desiring to be Alone - Day 584

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be alone and not have to deal with people in general, where I am content with being by myself with my dogs, my family, and my friends that I chose to have in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generally despise people who torture animals, torture people, torture the environment, torture nature, and in general abuse and harm the life that is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become very picky and choosey with who I will allow in my world and who not, and become arrogant and generally standoffish to those who try to enter my world that I deem not welcome or too much or too needy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become self-righteous in my beliefs of myself that I am ok alone and that I am not any of things I judge of others for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as nasty beings in many different ways and deemed not worthy to spend time with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest with myself where I fear that I will be judged by others and seek out not to face that rejection and humiliation of not being liked or not being seen as acceptable so I push others away first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as not cool or not attractive due to what they do or where or look like because within my own self I equally judge myself in this way, making my reality about comparison, competition and the eventual separation of beings here in secret parts of the mind that manifest eventually in the physical as war and abuse onto life, the very same abuse and war and separation I am despising others for doing to life here equally so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create backchat anger toward others in my world who are showing a desire to get to know me, connect, and build a relationship because within myself I am not clearly directing myself and in fear of hurting others because I am in a belief that I don’t know what to do or say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief in my backchat that I am not able to direct a situation with beings in my world instead of walking the steps of writing and investigating where this point of friction is arising from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to anger and self anger for not direct myself properly to a resolution that is best for all, but be spiteful and blameful toward others who are in no way responsible for these thoughts and behaviors I am participating in that is causing outflows of compromise and abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to get close to others for fear of being rejected because I have been rejected in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take other peoples rejections and words personal to me instead of working with the information objectively and learning from the experience in a way where I grow and expand to be a better version for myself and others as well.

I commit myself to stand within a point of self support for myself where I learn to let go and take others words and rejections if it happens like the wind blowing in and out as a point of life happening and through that learning to ride the winds as the words and rejection as a point of directing myself in the best way possible to clear and calm waters within through self acceptance and self love as who I am within and without to others.

I commit myself to stand in the shoes of others and consider my words and actions through and through within who I would like to be if I were the receiving end where respect and honor is taken to do what is best for all including what would be best for me in my own self honesty.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

The Experience of Being Hurt - My Realizations and Forgiveness - Day 563

Who I am as being hurt by others?

When I am not considered within the point of conversation or interaction, and I take it personal that others are brush with me, quick, overlook what I say or don’t listen at all and go into a reaction, I see the experience of hurt come up within me. Like I have been disregarded, I am not respected, and thus I am alone in my reality. I feel rejected in these times which brings up the experience that I am not able to thrive in the way of my reality that I’d like to, wherein I am able to interact with others, take in what is expressed, and within that be at peace and calm within myself, and express back in a manner that shows a point of maturity that supports and creates life rather then disturbs and destroys.

So I am looking at this experience of acceptance from my reality where if I am not received in a way of getting some sort of positive feedback, I take it personal and become emotional within the experience of hurt. Hurt being the energy experience that feels like a pit opens in my stomach area and my being drops in there feeling lost, my body goes into a slouch and sinking experience, and I become quiet and reserved with others in these states. Tending to go within and shut down not allowing any communication or people to come in until I have recovered and in some area have been uplifted through a positive experience. Leaping from one area to another within myself of being hurt and being happy again through an external stimulus that I have used as addiction to distract me from what I am facing with this hurt experience.

So what I am facing within being hurt by others is the fact that I am seeking acceptance and comfort from them, which is where I get positive feedback and when I don’t receive it I become hurt and end up becoming reactive back. I will go into more detail with the words I live out because there are more. Though focusing on the hurt experience I am having, this will be for example when someone comes at me in a bad mood because something happens in there life and they are not super pleasant, I say something to them and they snap at me. I will experience this hurt experience at this moment and believe that they are being mean, and through this take it personal where my mood will change into being moodier, angered, and resentful. This causing many consequences that are not best for all.

So here I will walk self-forgiveness on this experience of being hurt, and let go of the belief that I need people to give me positive feedback to feel accepted in my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the people in my environment as hurtful when they express their own emotions in a time of weakness, and I take it personal believing that I am to blame or I am being rejected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as feeling rejected and left out if I am not received within the people in my environment in a positive way where they express themselves in a way that shows that they like me and I am good in there presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of feeling hurt because I have taken it personal in the sense that I have defined myself within the output of others and if someone does not show me pleasantly I believe it’s because they don’t like me and there is something wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself fully with the flaws and the points I have changed into the best, where I realize I am in a process of growth and rebirth changing myself daily to the best of my ability and pushing my will to give it my all this life, and thus this is something that I have created within me and so within this I have proven that I am for real and that I can be proud of that fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek acceptance outside myself instead of living this word within me as I create a home as my temple within and as myself as my physical body, giving myself care, positive feedback, and acceptance for who I am and releasing the idea that I am not enough, I am not good, and I need to do something to be accepted by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need words of encouragement by others to feel fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that I am not enough, when I see, realize, and understand that everything is here, I am enough as I am life fully, and I am able to walk the process as I see is here to become aligned to life one and equal.

I commit myself to create the moments in my day where I give myself care, self-care within myself of words of encouragement, gratefulness for who I have become, and recognizing the perseverance I have consistently shown to myself through difficult times and challenges to pull through and find solutions that support not only myself but others as well.

I commit myself to redefine the word home where I create a space within of comfort, safety, and relaxation as harmony in the understanding that this is a place of warmth to be at ease and know it’ll always be here as I am always here, it is within me thus home is here as me always I just have to breathe and create the space for myself.

I commit myself to give this care and warmth I will commit to live to myself to others unconditionally where I don’t seek anything in return, but practice my self fulfillment through living different ways and words that support me to take care and be self supported.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared:

http://www.desteni.org
http://www.eqafe.com
http://www.earthhaven.org

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Business Fears: Fear of Approaching People - Day 455

Photo Source

Previous Business Fear Blogs I have done in this Series:
Business Fears – Fear of Not Making the Sale – Day 444
Business Fears- Fear of Failure – Day 443
Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Day 446

Continuing on with the fears that come up as I enter the business world and within starting a business as a saleswomen. This fear of approaching people is one that has a lot of emotional energy involved within it due to the fact that this fear has been with me for a long time. What is driving this fear is the unknown factor that is existent within the very action of having to approach people and introduce them to what I am offering, this is a self initiative that I have to embody and self direct if I indeed want to sell them. This emotional experience I realize is based on over time allowing this fear and the thoughts that go with this fear to accumulate and not actually move myself enough to counter act the fear by approaching people and talk to them on a consistent basis.

I realize however that through action this fear will be transcended because I already see that I am able to go up and speak to strangers as anyone is by simply walking the physical steps and moving my mouth and speaking. The capabilities are there, I just have to move through this emotional energy as fear that I am allowing to hold me back and stay in a state of stagnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within myself I am existing as someone who is not good enough to approach other people and show them what I have to offer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stifled with thoughts of how good others look and act when they approach others and how I am not able to do it as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself compared to others in a moment when I see, realize, and understood that those other people did not just become this great speaker/seller in this moment, they too walked a process, went through trial and errors, and persevered to be where they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in believing that I am and should just know how to speak to people and show them what I have to offer in an instant and automatically, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’ll take effort, consistency, and perseverance to see my actions reap the benefits of what I have put in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my business to be a success without having to work for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become deluded within desires in alternate realities in my mind of just becoming a success that are not reality based because I am not walking the steps to create this and so instead creatinig disillusionment and missed opportunities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the fear of approaching strangers direct me into a stagnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear strangers rejecting me and so me having to face rejection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stifled by the fear of rejection instead of realizing it is part of business and life and so it’s something to be embraced and learned from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss opportunities here because of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving myself because of fear itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the existence of fear is real and that it can make me not move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in fear and so stagnation instead of making actions in the physical to accumulate my business and do what needs to be done to be successful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for the falls and not realize, see, and understand it’s not what happens to me but who I am within what is happening.

When and as I see I am going into a point of fearing approaching strangers, I breath and stop, and realize that this fear is irrational as it’s not actually real, I see, realize, and understand I am able to move forward, I am able to get myself in front of others, and I am able to walk the process to move my business forward by walking the actions necessary to become more skilled and more experienced within selling what my business has to offer.

I commit myself to breath through the fear of approaching people and move myself to do so when this fear occurs using scripts to ease the approach and find ways to get others interested in what I have to say and offer them by being creative and going for it without fear.

I commit myself to stop the fear and focus on the bigger goals I have to why I am walking this business and for what purpose in helping others become more independent and empowered within themselves.

I commit myself to find all ways that I am able to make a success of myself as a business women and a human being on this planet in ways that will be best for all life.

I commit myself to do what ever is necessary to ensure I am successful and moving myself everyday in physical reality with physical actions to ensure I give myself the path to walk the process of making a success of my business.

I commit myself to create success within myself as my business and life through perseverance and dedication to what is best for all through all that I do.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Correcting Myself Day 447

Correction process of the self forgiveness I did in my last blog on the fear of not showing up for my business and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknowns of showing up in life because there is a certain amount of risk involved and so self trust is needed and success is not guaranteed.

I commit myself to face my fears of the unknown and assess myself and the direction I take in common sense and what is best and lead myself into a direction where I am responsible and stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it to a satisfactory point of not having self trust enough to walk the sales process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self trust is developed through living it, it’s not based on the external but based on the internal of myself and who I am in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself away to the external picture that I react to, I realize, see, and understand that I have not developed this trust within myself as of yet, so I have to embrace myself and the environment in these moments and realize I will be able to stand and direct myself through whatever is here to be faced.

I commit myself to challenge my self to continue to push myself into uncomfortable situations within my process as a saleswomen and in life to push my boundaries and thus push my expansion within who I am as self trust.

I commit myself develop who I am within myself in expanding my skills and capabilities to be able to take on new dimensions of my sales process as well as new experiences within my living and be able to walk it and grow within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life within the pictures that exist in my mind being projected onto reality, I see, realize, and understand that these mind pictures are based on movement within self as thoughts, energies, feelings, emotions, and that within this it is in a self interest.

I commit myself to move myself to let go of my mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions within letting go of my self interest to have it my way or get what I want and so I commit myself to stand within the principle of doing what is best for all and so creating this in my physical living.

I commit myself to redefine the words I use to be structured within the direct living of myself in my environment where I have walked a process of purification and standing within a direct understanding of who I am one and equal with my creation as myself in my living and so one and equal with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear life here in the external when i see, realize, and understand all that exist here is self, we are all equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to stand.

I commit myself to let go of fear through understanding it in writing and seeing within myself what I am hiding from and denying within myself and so giving this to myself.

I commit myself to walk the process of facing and transcending my fears once I have walked a process of understanding the fears.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take full self responsibility for myself and my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the only point that exist and it’s simple is to live best for all in each breath and let go of the system as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of this point of unknown within what is to come in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people and their multiple reactions toward me.

I commit myself to take responsibility for who I am within my living and stand within a point of self investigation and self change to ensure I am prepared to walk what is needed to be walked to live what is best for all and have developed the self honesty to in fact do this.

I commit myself to stop taking the external personal and start to stand within using it as a mirror to see who I am within myself and what it is that this reaction within me is showing me about myself.

I commit to walk the process of change within the reactions I have to transcend them through understanding and changing my living to a point of embracing what is here through acceptance, understanding, and solution oriented living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to say or what to do in moments of the presentation or speaking to others if and when they should react.

I commit myself to let go of fear and express myself here within who I am in each moment and trust I will be able to direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that a correction process is needed within all life, each being in all it’s forms have a process to walk to self perfection until one is here. So as can be seen with the state of our world, we have to walk this self perfection process each and everyone and it’ll take time.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for fearing who I am or who I will be and fearing others, and so I commit myself to embrace all of me here, accept myself, and correct that which is not best for all and so best for myself in all I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the ridicule and cruelty in others, when I see, realize, and understand I have done this myself and still do it within my mind, so if I ask of another person to stop being cruel and mean I must end it within myself first.

I commit myself to stop being cruel within my mind by stopping my backchat and reactions through walking the process of correction and disciplining myself to let go and be here in acceptance and self honesty.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Day 446

Previous Business Fear Blogs I have done in this Series:

Business Fears – Fear of Not Making the Sale – Day 444
Business Fears- Fear of Failure – Day 443

So today I had a buddy chat and what opened up is quite timely to the next fear I am going to take on in my series of walking business fears, this fear is the fear of not showing up. This fear can mean not showing up to the presentation, but also I want to go deeper and it’s this inherent fear of not showing up to birth myself as life, this is done in every moment, every breath. This is missing out on the opportunity to create my life, so here I realize in the business world and in life in general you have to prepare yourself properly because preventing a problem before it occurs is the best cure, and preparation is key to this. We are here I realize to live life and so showing up to everything that is to be done within each step or breath I take in my business and in my life is crucial if I want to make a success of it.

If I have not prepared for a project at work or say in school, and when it comes time to pay the consequences like flubbing up in a meeting or not knowing what to do on a test, these consequences are obviously not enjoyable and don’t promote success within myself. I am here to be successful in whatever I endeavor on, and with the business I am currently walking, I plan to do the best I am able to. So I have committed myself to prepare myself and ensure I am ready and able to do whatever it’ll take to ensure I am prepared to show up and make the best of the opportunities that open up.

Showing up has been a point that has fears attached to it though as I look at it here, mainly of rejection and humiliation. I realize I still have a lot to learn, a lot to take in, and a lot of correction and testing to be walked, and holding onto fear only limits this potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it to a satisfactory point of not having self trust enough to walk the sales process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life within the pictures that exist in my mind being projected onto reality, I see, realize, and understand that this mind pictures are based on movement within self as thoughts, energies, feelings, emotions, and that within this it is in a self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear life here in the external when i see, realize, and understand all that exist here is self, we are all equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to stand.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take full self responsibility for myself and my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of this point of unknown within what is to come in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people and their multiple reactions toward me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to say or what to do in moments of the presentation or speaking to others if and when they should react.

Will continue the self correction process in the next blog. Thanks for reading.