Thursday, September 27, 2012

Day 139- Dependency on Parents for Money




Looking here at how I have become dependent on my parents for money and thus security in my world, and how I use this as a point of comfort ability for myself to know that I will be taken care of, I will have a place to go, I will be able to get some money if I need it, this falling on my parents shoulders as they are the ones that I look to when I am in a fuck up and need some support quick. This point of reliance on them for support also comes with self compromise, as within the giving there is an expectation to give myself as in time, labor, and essentially following in line with the family beliefs and traditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself based on depending on my parents for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself based on depending on my parents for security through having them support me even when I am able to support myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my mom for instance when I was younger to walk all the college points that were necessary to get me in, in where she set up all the meetings with coaches and administers, so I can sit on my behind and just have everything set for me, which at that stage did occur, but I was not equipped to walk the point on my own due to fear of others, so I depended on my mom to do this for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear as a justification to not move myself when I see a point that will take diligent effort and perservance, and thus use my mom to support me and basically walk it for me because I used her as the resource for me not to have to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my parents for support with rent when I was paying off my debt and thus assumed that they would be there for me because they are my parents, and so depended on them to support me during this time instead of walking the point in equality, setting up a compromise with them, and walking it through in communication first before walking it in reality as an assumed approval from my parents just because they are my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my parents for everything that I find that is hard to get or needs money because they have the ability to help me, and thus I assume that that should always be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my parents for my security to live instead of living the security of myself as myself so thus I can be free to move as I want, when given by my parents security, I am not free as I have to live under a certain point of self compromise to keep the security coming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my parents for security and safety because I was to afraid to walk on my own and make my own way.

I commit myself to walk the point of equals with and as my parents, not using them for dependency to have money and support, but walk my own self support through my own career and give as I have been given in an equal fashion.

I commit myself to stop the justifications of fear to stop my pursuit to become independent on my own and stop the dependency on parents to help me, so thus I can walk my path within a certain point of self freedom and be able to support myself in this world financially.

I commit myself to stop assumptions and self diminishment by allowing others to help me, when I can walk the path to help my self by taking responsibility for myself and walking the necessary steps to become self sufficient.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


2012, child, childlike, children, co-dependent, desteni, eqafe, equality, i need you, immature, journey to life, lazy, mother, motherly love, parents, security, relationships,submissive, teamlife

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