My Journey to Life: human being

Showing posts with label human being. Show all posts

Sunday, April 9, 2017

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 2 - Day 549

Within this point of looking at the current state of the human being, I will bring this point back to myself, back to the personal, back to who I am as the state of myself as a human being, and through this share my self and my experiences and realizations of how I have understood and so came to be who I am here today.

For many years, most of my life, I have been in a way feeling as if i am a shell of a person, the experience of myself internally was sort of like a self contained prison in a way, and this prison was constantly moving and changing, though always existing in the same way, like patterns that would repeat. I would get some pleasure once and a while, but this pleasure was distorted and confusing as I learned that pleasuring myself and pleasure in general was not the norm, and there was certain types of pleasures that were bad and not to be openly discussed and enjoyed, such as the pleasure of exploring my physical body or enjoying a piece of cake, it was always filled with a threat of some sort of harm being done on to me either with a stigma attached to self or a consequence that was unpleasant and looked down upon by others.

So I never actually truly enjoyed myself as pleasure, but was in sort of like a fog and constant fear of having these memories I had in my mind of the worst case scenarios keep popping up, haunting me in a way while investigating and exploring this part of myself as i was growing up. This also then formed into the imaginations and fantasies of creating pleasure in my mind, what i could do or where i could go and how i could live all in the confines of my own mind, but again this was never actually materialized thus it was a constant loop system with no tangible value created in the physical, that when i did get a chance to experience something pleasurable in reality it becomes an extreme, something i desired, something i craved, and then an addiction would be formed. An addiction is another prison as a point of self propulsion to something that i wasn't in control of because i didn't know why i was creating it and thus it became very difficult to stop it, seemingly impossible actually.

And here is where the consequences of such interaction with myself, my enviroment, and my internal world as my mind became prison like, this was due to the emotional experiences that i let infiltrate my being and take me on a ride that all who can relate, would really like to get off of. Yet, we can not, it’s a ride that continues, and continues, and continues, and every where we go and every one we meet are all on this same ride though we do not have any clue how to get off because we have no clue what we are in fact doing and we do not have the full capacity to know as it was designed to be this way. We are caged to our own internal selves, some cope well with this in society as society has been designed in such a way to cater to the enslavement of the beings that accept and allow it.

This we have all done and all participated in over eons of time, though on this planet it has become physical, we are here within a prison in our own selves, our own making, and we can even see the physical manifestations we have created to show to ourselves who we are as actual physical prisons we send ourselves to. And I can attest to this as i have lived it as i am sure we all can relate to this, and this anguish is energy in motion, it’s this ride, it’s the ups and downs, the explosions and the regrets, the fear and the remorse, the beliefs and the bullied, and so much more, we are seeking the good, the positive and avoiding, resisting, and running away from the negative. I am running away from myself, this inner turmoil, this cage, this prison, and within this running I am running straight towards it. What a vicious game you may say? It depends what your starting point is and always realize there is solutions, we are always capable of living and creating solutions that is a fact, though by the will of self it will be done.

What i haven’t understood for most of my life and the principles that govern life, and this life I speak of is the eternal life that has always existed, the life that resides within all, the life that is our physical world and the breath of life of each one. What i haven't understood was who i am, i never actually looked at this question, and within that i never believed that i could do anything to change my life. Though what i did know and could understand within me was there was a fire, be it small, yet it was here and it was burning in side of me. It was like an inner calling of my insides, something deep inside me, and this is the quest i have been seeking solutions for and so i started asking questions - the QUEST to Solutions. And this is when i found my saving grace, I found myself, and my self's ability to stand up within myself and change for the better. This has changed everything for me and everything about me, I am humbled by the understanding and also passionate about the change that is taking place internally and thus externally in my world because as within self so without. This is a principle of life.

As is said in the above eqafe interview quotation, ‘equality and oneness and what is best for all can become the saving grace of humanity’, so the solution is here, life is here, and self is here, the human being though has a process to walk to align back to life as we have de-manned ourselves through abdication of ourselves as a responsible being to ourselves and so to all life. We must face our consequences, each and every one yet all equally and build again, stand before all life in humbleness and humility, and walk again in a structure and flow that never again allows what has been lived and existed in this earth as the horror and abuse. It is the time to stand for life within self and so within all that we are honorable and we honor ourselves and so prove this within our lives, our living, and in our world. The time is here and living solutions is at our fingertips, we just have to take action and this we is me.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Friday, March 31, 2017

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 1 - Day 548

Here i am looking at a dimension of vulnerability that I have noticed and has more and more been opening up for me, and this dimension is the absolute sorrow of being a human being in this world. I am noticing throughout my living day to day through different movies, shows, people i meet, people walking around, and most especially myself because i am with myself all the time, there is this sorrow within me and i can see this sorrow in the depths of myself and also in people walking around and it’s like a horror in a way. We have become so lost in our everyday lives because of the state and condition we have participated in and created in this world. This sorrow within me that i have sensed and noticed within all humans, is deep, it feels like its coming from the depths of our souls so to speak, where i just want to scream, shout, and stop everything that is going on around me and within me to just have it all stop. Though it never does, this world continues, the abuse continues, this sorrow within me continues, and it just continues on. There is also deep regret as well and i have found this leads also to extreme amounts of rage and destruction due to the fact that it feels like there is nothing we can do about this energy, about our living experience, and about this world of horror that we are seeing play out everywhere. Some may deny this, some may brush it off, some may call me a downer or negative, but every single human being knows exactly what i speak of. It is unnamed, it is gripping, and it is fierce this force that i speak of.

What i have realized is that one of the core reasons and originating points of this rage, sorrow, and destruction we have exhibited in our living world is based on the response and experiences of our childhood. Where we are born into this world and as a child that is vulnerable, innocent, and helpless in many ways, we in a way ‘hope’ that we will be treated with care, real naturing care and understanding by the adults of this world. We though receive waves of powerful energies that make our bodies churn and twist and restrict in the most horrific and uncomfortable ways imaginable, some of us are physically abused, some of us are mentally abuse, some of us are sexually abused, and some are all of the abuses in this world. We have all been abused since childhood and then we grow up and do exactly as the adults in this world we learned from, become destructive, abusive, and horrific in our behavior toward each other. You may not do this directly, though if someone is abused it is equal and one to you as the abused and the abuser, we are both as we are accepting and allowing it to exist in our world, we are this world.

We as adults have become so accustomed to the abuse of children, not even realizing as adults that it is abuse because we as adults have become so brainwashed and programmed to believe that abuse, reactions, and destruction is a natural pattern of life in this world, we forget about the innocence we once were as babies, as children, and so we put it out of our minds, become distracted with survival, and so we repeat the same mistakes and abuses we hope would just stop as children. We as adults become numb, hard, and ruthless in the face of a ruthless and heartless world. And this we see everywhere, the absolute horror and disregard for life as the innocence even unto the most vulnerable among us in all species and forms. We are a race that has programmed ourselves through forgetfulness to abuse, ignore, distract, and destroy ourselves as our world and we pretend that we don’t know any better. We pretend that we are good, we pretend that we are righteous, and we pretend that we are not responsible. Though this is real life, this is our reality, this is actually happening to all on deep levels as we are all interconnected and equal in this reality. Nothing of mind illusion is real, no one is better then another, that simply does not exist….you hurt another being it hurts just the same as if you did it to yourself.

This i found is within myself what has caused such rage, such sorrow, such anger, and it is from the depths of myself, the abdication I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and to allow such a world to exist as, abuse and destruction. The torment and destructive nature that we have gotten to within our world and the amount of abuse we see accumulating, this is a point of madness we are experiencing within ourselves because we all realize and understand that it could be completely different, something of a place like heaven on earth. And even to those words, we scoff and say ‘no, that is impossible’. Though we miss the obvious most often because we are not living the obvious, but the complicated as the multi-dimensional reality of illusion we have created as our mind consciousness system. As we see even in the word impossible, what does it read? I am possible. We are possible.

So words i have found have been a key saving grace for humanity as we have indeed forgotten ourselves, who we are, where we came from, and what we have within us as our own directive principle - a life force that connects all and is equal within all. Thankfully to those who came before and are here still, walking what is best for all life, walking the principles of who we are as oneness and equality, standing in full responsibility of self to stand as the solution and create it, I honor life, I honor those who walk with and as life, and so this honor is mine within who i am as my words, how i live within and without, and what i am sharing is that there is a way to forgive self, correct self, and so correct this world. We are much more then the beliefs that we/i have created for ourselves, there is great potential, though each one has to find, develop and live this within self. And this is where desteni has come in, not only shaping and shifting my life for ever, but many others who are equally as committed, dedicated, and steadfast in changing self to stand in full responsibility, correct that which is not best, and forgive self for the mistakes and blame perpetuated. This desteni of the universe as the process of birthing self as life is here for all and all are welcome. It’s a journey of self purification and in a way self discovery and life is here to support, though self must always walk through the door. We are the solution and i am in deed possible, so investigate, understand, realize self responsibility to the whole, and thus see that the physical is the solution, we are here on the earth as the physical, thus we are the solution - each and everyone.

Thanks for reading, part two to continue my understandings and realizations as I walk my journey to life.

This supported me today in understanding who we are as life and the power we do have in self responsibility through self change:

"Totality - Tow-tally-ty - tallying up and towing the load, the practical process of taking responsibility for ALL of /as self, where self through writing and self forgiveness walk through one's entire mind consciousness system and this physical existence in detail - walking self-introspection within, finding (tallying) all the parts of self of self-separation as consciousness/mind, transforming self's relationship with self to an agreement with all in equality and oneness, and within doing this 'towing the load' as walking one's physical-consequence as the physical-world creation that self created as consciousness/mind and within facing consequence: simultaneously develop/find/implement solutions to the future of self of all, to not again recreate the same process of humpty-dumpty's great fall, having to pick up your own pieces and put yourself back together again which is quite a lengthy process, but to be able to eternally stand firmly rooted/grounded into/as this existence that FALL will never again exist in this existence, as we STAND eternally." - Bernard Poolman

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Day 308 - Are you in Control of your Mind or are you Mind Controlled?

What I have understood through the desteni material and realized through my own practice of the tools they share through the ‘process’ that is recommended to walk is that the mind is not just a simple thing that is to be mistaken for a part of human life, we have never really spoken about the mind in any authority as we do with the physical world because we have never understood why in fact we speak as thoughts within our mind, and where and how these thoughts and thinking are created within us. We know the physical in a sense because we can see it, dissect it, study it tangibly, and test it to gain a relative definition and understanding of what the physical is in our world, with the mind though such as a thought, we can do none of this. We know the effects of these thinking patterns have on the behavior of a person and at times what feels like possessions that come over us through bouts of emotion or feeling that are created through the thinking, but again, no one can explain in detail and specificity, where emotions and feelings come from, how in our body/mind they are created, what are they for, and questions such as how can they be natural if we know nothing about them?

This is self honestly for yourself to consider and have a look at in your own life, you can see evidence of this involuntary and absolute certainty of the mind creating these thoughts and emotions within an anger outburst for instance, it comes up due to thoughts accumulated towards another over and over that can not be voluntarily stopped, and then the emotions will rise and rise until eventually you will be triggered by an external force and blow up and release the energy of anger within what has been accumulating. So we are moved due to our thoughts and then the accumulation of energy through the thinking of these thoughts over time to then have a outburst that is not self directed nor self controlled, but is what feels like forced through the mind to engage in the environment in this way as a release of all the energy built up within oneself, so the question here is are we really in control as we presume we are or is it all our mind?

We speak often of mind control, like monks and sages having control over there minds and thus being able to direct there body into extremes within human capacity that the ‘average’ human couldn’t believe could be possible. I remember when I was in primary school, a father came in and he was a tae kwon do master/teacher, so he was highly trained in this martial art, and he said something that completely baffled my young mind at that time. He said he sat still for 8 hours with out moving once. I couldn’t believe that this was possible, I put myself within his shoes and tried to imagine myself being able to sit for 8 hours, and I just could not fathom that it was possible, I didn’t have the patients, the control of my mind and my body to stay put for that long, but the question still remains is, is it beyond the human capacity to control the mind and thus direct self for instance in this case to sit for 8 hours? No, as proof of this tae kwon do teacher, it is possible, one need to use tools, and realize in physical reality how this is possible and walk the steps to master it. The imagination of me as a child though was not controlled and thus was not directed within reality in common sense, so I completely got possessed by this line of thinking in my imagination, and from that point on never believed it would ever be possible for me to do such a thing, it’s too hard, I am to impatient, I would be so bored, what would I do, and so never allowed myself to walk this path as I had given up before I even tried due to the mind controlling and possessing me into the imagination thought pattern of defeat.

Now, here this is an interesting way of seeing our reality, me as a child in this instance, being taken over in that moment by the mind and absolutely giving up before I even tried, and really having absolutely no desire for movement to do anything in this sort of manner, of controlling the mind, having self discipline, mastering patience, breathing through uncomfortablity, angst, and committing myself to become a person who is able to direct myself to do something that is not within the realm of what I could believe myself to do. Although I don’t advise to sit in one spot for 8 hours, the act of self discipline, self control, mind control, and stability this teacher showed is quite honorable thing though as it definitely takes a form of effort and self will and mastering one’s own capacity of belief and stimna.

But my point here is the point of where the mind as me as a child so easily took me to self defeatism, self giving up and giving in, self sabotage as these thoughts and imagination scenarios, like a tv show going off somewhere in my mind in another realm or dimension within my body I can’t, see, touch, nor smell, but it in all ways has absolute control of who I am. And what kind of human being did this create within me as this mind that I was listening to and allowing and accepting to direct me in this one instance out of countless instances within my life up to the point of finding desteni, it brought me to become a person that is not in control or has little to no self will and thus within this outlook of myself brought on no real point of self respect or self directiveness. I suggest to read my earlier blogs for proof of this claim and evidence of the way in which I saw and behaved towards myself and my world, all within the starting point of self sabotage and self inferiority, and I am sure you will recognize these patterns as well within yourself.

The mind has complete control of the human being in this life, we don’t really know what this mind is nor what it consists of or operates from or as, and thus is this something we should blindly trust and become directed by so easily as we do? Is the mind a point of life affirmation and creating an optimum world and betterment for the life that is here? No obviously, ok, if not, why not? We can see through the evidence of this world, this creative power we call our mind is not our own, is not self power as life power as self direction, but has a mind of it’s own within our minds as our physical, quite a tongue full, lol, but worth investigating. Study and research the links for more unprecedented and mind blowing material, videos, articles, and first hand experiences with walking the mind of self, and how one can walk a process to control it and thus direct it not only for what is best for self, but what is best for all to create a world worth living in.

The mind is not the enemy nor the victor, it is us, we have to take self responsibility as it and direct ourselves in all ways of considering life in equality and what is best for all, using the mind as an equal part in this equation through accepting and allowing what is best in self honesty, and always correcting self to live in this standard into eternity. This is not a process that can be walked alone, there is support and much research done on the mind and self within it, I suggest investigate desteni to find out more.

I leave you with another fitting quote by Loa Tzu, enjoy:

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.”