The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 2 - Day 549

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Within this point of looking at the current state of the human being, I will bring this point back to myself, back to the personal, back to who I am as the state of myself as a human being, and through this share my self and my experiences and realizations of how I have understood and so came to be who I am here today.

For many years, most of my life, I have been in a way feeling as if i am a shell of a person, the experience of myself internally was sort of like a self contained prison in a way, and this prison was constantly moving and changing, though always existing in the same way, like patterns that would repeat. I would get some pleasure once and a while, but this pleasure was distorted and confusing as I learned that pleasuring myself and pleasure in general was not the norm, and there was certain types of pleasures that were bad and not to be openly discussed and enjoyed, such as the pleasure of exploring my physical body or enjoying a piece of cake, it was always filled with a threat of some sort of harm being done on to me either with a stigma attached to self or a consequence that was unpleasant and looked down upon by others.

So I never actually truly enjoyed myself as pleasure, but was in sort of like a fog and constant fear of having these memories I had in my mind of the worst case scenarios keep popping up, haunting me in a way while investigating and exploring this part of myself as i was growing up. This also then formed into the imaginations and fantasies of creating pleasure in my mind, what i could do or where i could go and how i could live all in the confines of my own mind, but again this was never actually materialized thus it was a constant loop system with no tangible value created in the physical, that when i did get a chance to experience something pleasurable in reality it becomes an extreme, something i desired, something i craved, and then an addiction would be formed. An addiction is another prison as a point of self propulsion to something that i wasn't in control of because i didn't know why i was creating it and thus it became very difficult to stop it, seemingly impossible actually.

And here is where the consequences of such interaction with myself, my enviroment, and my internal world as my mind became prison like, this was due to the emotional experiences that i let infiltrate my being and take me on a ride that all who can relate, would really like to get off of. Yet, we can not, it’s a ride that continues, and continues, and continues, and every where we go and every one we meet are all on this same ride though we do not have any clue how to get off because we have no clue what we are in fact doing and we do not have the full capacity to know as it was designed to be this way. We are caged to our own internal selves, some cope well with this in society as society has been designed in such a way to cater to the enslavement of the beings that accept and allow it.

This we have all done and all participated in over eons of time, though on this planet it has become physical, we are here within a prison in our own selves, our own making, and we can even see the physical manifestations we have created to show to ourselves who we are as actual physical prisons we send ourselves to. And I can attest to this as i have lived it as i am sure we all can relate to this, and this anguish is energy in motion, it’s this ride, it’s the ups and downs, the explosions and the regrets, the fear and the remorse, the beliefs and the bullied, and so much more, we are seeking the good, the positive and avoiding, resisting, and running away from the negative. I am running away from myself, this inner turmoil, this cage, this prison, and within this running I am running straight towards it. What a vicious game you may say? It depends what your starting point is and always realize there is solutions, we are always capable of living and creating solutions that is a fact, though by the will of self it will be done.

What i haven’t understood for most of my life and the principles that govern life, and this life I speak of is the eternal life that has always existed, the life that resides within all, the life that is our physical world and the breath of life of each one. What i haven't understood was who i am, i never actually looked at this question, and within that i never believed that i could do anything to change my life. Though what i did know and could understand within me was there was a fire, be it small, yet it was here and it was burning in side of me. It was like an inner calling of my insides, something deep inside me, and this is the quest i have been seeking solutions for and so i started asking questions - the QUEST to Solutions. And this is when i found my saving grace, I found myself, and my self's ability to stand up within myself and change for the better. This has changed everything for me and everything about me, I am humbled by the understanding and also passionate about the change that is taking place internally and thus externally in my world because as within self so without. This is a principle of life.

As is said in the above eqafe interview quotation, ‘equality and oneness and what is best for all can become the saving grace of humanity’, so the solution is here, life is here, and self is here, the human being though has a process to walk to align back to life as we have de-manned ourselves through abdication of ourselves as a responsible being to ourselves and so to all life.  We must face our consequences, each and every one yet all equally and build again, stand before all life in humbleness and humility, and walk again in a structure and flow that never again allows what has been lived and existed in this earth as the horror and abuse. It is the time to stand for life within self and so within all that we are honorable and we honor ourselves and so prove this within our lives, our living, and in our world. The time is here and living solutions is at our fingertips, we just have to take action and this we is me.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 1 - Day 548

Here i am looking at a dimension of vulnerability that I have noticed and has more and more been opening up for me, and this dimension is the absolute sorrow of being a human being in this world. I am noticing throughout my living day to day through different movies, shows, people i meet, people walking around, and most especially myself because i am with myself all the time, there is this sorrow within me and i can see this sorrow in the depths of myself and also in people walking around and it’s like a horror in a way. We have become so lost in our everyday lives because of the state and condition we have participated in and created in this world. This sorrow within me that i have sensed and noticed within all humans, is deep, it feels like its coming from the depths of our souls so to speak, where i just want to scream, shout, and stop everything that is going on around me and within me to just have it all stop. Though it never does, this world continues, the abuse continues, this sorrow within me continues, and it just continues on. There is also deep regret as well and i have found this leads also to extreme amounts of rage and destruction due to the fact that it feels like there is nothing we can do about this energy, about our living experience, and about this world of horror that we are seeing play out everywhere. Some may deny this, some may brush it off, some may call me a downer or negative, but every single human being knows exactly what i speak of. It is unnamed, it is gripping, and it is fierce this force that i speak of.

What i have realized is that one of the core reasons and originating points of this rage, sorrow, and destruction we have exhibited in our living world is based on the response and experiences of our childhood. Where we are born into this world and as a child that is vulnerable, innocent, and helpless in many ways, we in a way ‘hope’ that we will be treated with care, real naturing care and understanding by the adults of this world. We though receive waves of powerful energies that make our bodies churn and twist and restrict in the most horrific and uncomfortable ways imaginable, some of us are physically abused, some of us are mentally abuse, some of us are sexually abused, and some are all of the abuses in this world. We have all been abused since childhood and then we grow up and do exactly as the adults in this world we learned from, become destructive, abusive, and horrific in our behavior toward each other. You may not do this directly, though if someone is abused it is equal and one to you as the abused and the abuser, we are both as we are accepting and allowing it to exist in our world, we are this world.

We as adults have become so accustomed to the abuse of children, not even realizing as adults that it is abuse because we as adults have become so brainwashed and programmed to believe that abuse, reactions, and destruction is a natural pattern of life in this world, we forget about the innocence we once were as babies, as children, and so we put it out of our minds, become distracted with survival, and so we repeat the same mistakes and abuses we hope would just stop as children. We as adults become numb, hard, and ruthless in the face of a ruthless and heartless world. And this we see everywhere, the absolute horror and disregard for life as the innocence even unto the most vulnerable among us in all species and forms. We are a race that has programmed ourselves through forgetfulness to abuse, ignore, distract, and destroy ourselves as our world and we pretend that we don’t know any better. We pretend that we are good, we pretend that we are righteous, and we pretend that we are not responsible. Though this is real life, this is our reality, this is actually happening to all on deep levels as we are all interconnected and equal in this reality. Nothing of mind illusion is real, no one is better then another, that simply does not exist….you hurt another being it hurts just the same as if you did it to yourself.

This i found is within myself what has caused such rage, such sorrow, such anger, and it is from the depths of myself, the abdication I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and to allow such a world to exist as, abuse and destruction. The torment and destructive nature that we have gotten to within our world and the amount of abuse we see accumulating, this is a point of madness we are experiencing within ourselves because we all realize and understand that it could be completely different, something of a place like heaven on earth. And even to those words, we scoff and say ‘no, that is impossible’. Though we miss the obvious most often because we are not living the obvious, but the complicated as the multi-dimensional reality of illusion we have created as our mind consciousness system. As we see even in the word impossible, what does it read? I am possible. We are possible.

So words i have found have been a key saving grace for humanity as we have indeed forgotten ourselves, who we are, where we came from, and what we have within us as our own directive principle - a life force that connects all and is equal within all. Thankfully to those who came before and are here still, walking what is best for all life, walking the principles of who we are as oneness and equality, standing in full responsibility of self to stand as the solution and create it, I honor life, I honor those who walk with and as life, and so this honor is mine within who i am as my words, how i live within and without, and what i am sharing is that there is a way to forgive self, correct self, and so correct this world. We are much more then the beliefs that we/i have created for ourselves, there is great potential, though each one has to find, develop and live this within self. And this is where desteni has come in, not only shaping and shifting my life for ever, but many others who are equally as committed, dedicated, and steadfast in changing self to stand in full responsibility, correct that which is not best, and forgive self for the mistakes and blame perpetuated. This desteni of the universe as the process of birthing self as life is here for all and all are welcome. It’s a journey of self purification and in a way self discovery and life is here to support, though self must always walk through the door. We are the solution and i am in deed possible, so investigate, understand, realize self responsibility to the whole, and thus see that the physical is the solution, we are here on the earth as the physical, thus we are the solution - each and everyone.

Thanks for reading, part two to continue my understandings and realizations as I walk my journey to life.

This supported me today in understanding who we are as life and the power we do have in self responsibility through self change:

"Totality - Tow-tally-ty - tallying up and towing the load, the practical process of taking responsibility for ALL of /as self, where self through writing and self forgiveness walk through one's entire mind consciousness system and this physical existence in detail - walking self-introspection within, finding (tallying) all the parts of self of self-separation as consciousness/mind, transforming self's relationship with self to an agreement with all in equality and oneness, and within doing this 'towing the load' as walking one's physical-consequence as the physical-world creation that self created as consciousness/mind and within facing consequence: simultaneously develop/find/implement solutions to the future of self of all, to not again recreate the same process of humpty-dumpty's great fall, having to pick up your own pieces and put yourself back together again which is quite a lengthy process, but to be able to eternally stand firmly rooted/grounded into/as this existence that FALL will never again exist in this existence, as we STAND eternally." - Bernard Poolman

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...


Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

The Great Escape - Day 402

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of gloom based on hearing news in my world that was unexpected and not desired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a certain specific way of life and living in each moment where I am content and feeling positive to ensure I feel good and I am secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate and attach safety and being secure to good feelings of positivity created in my outside world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is really here as the safety with which I can create as myself within the way I live and create my world and so treat others and create this would in the best way possible where all are able to be secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to hear news that makes me feel secure and good based on the desire to not have to face the reality of what in fact is here in this world and escape into my own world where I am only considering myself and if I am ok.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from this desire for my security I am fueling this desire to escape the reality of what is here such as ‘hard’ news or ‘bad’ news that I have resisted due to judging it as not desirable and so not making me feel good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist reality based on a desire to have only what makes me feel good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what is going on in my life as good or bad and create a relationship towards it as accepting the energy of negativity when the news is something I fear and accepting the energy as positivity when is it is something I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the energy experience in relation to the news I hear based on a desire to always experience happy times when in reality I realize this is not real and will always create an opposite as a negative experience because life does not in fact exist in such polarities, life lives and adapts and changes to create a solution and what is best for all in whatever that takes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way create and become addicted to the bad news as a form of attention where I can seek outlets of others who will give me sympathy for the news I have just received, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the reality of what is here as ‘news’ about myself and feeding my own self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge within energy as self interest desires to get attention and so create a point of missing out on the opportunity that is here to learn and grow within myself to see who I am in relation to a specific point or news that I have not yet received in such a way, and see if I can stand and come to solutions that will generate a outcome that supports.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in energy as addiction to what I can gain out of situations rather then standing equal and one with it and finding solutions that will support what is best.

When and as I see I am going into self interest and energy addictions as an escape for desired experiences when I have to face reality in a direct and personal way such as hearing news that is sudden and shocking, I stop and breath, and realize that I will only compromise who I can be within myself by getting trapped in the loop of polarized energy experiences I am chasing and so can not stand as someone who can bring about solutions and support what is best for all because I am not in reality but fixed within my mind as energy addictions.

I commit myself to let go of the polarity of good and bad and live life from breath and fact.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to have a certain outcome and direct myself in reality as it is here and opens up.

I commit myself to support others equal to myself and find solutions to what is needed the best I am able to.

I commit myself to let go of my self interest by seeing who I am being in the moment and changing myself to be humble and gentle in the moment to correct the pattern of seeking to gain.

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Gloomy: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 168
Gloomy: Disconnected - Atlanteans - Part 169
Gloomy: When You are Gloomy - Atlanteans - Part 170
Gloomy: Moods and Dooms - Atlanteans - Part 171

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

The Gloomy Outlook of Life - Day 401

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Lately I have been feeling a sense of gloominess within my life, it’s based on some information I have gotten recently that shook my world so to speak, not something I expected and not something I desired, and so within this my mind is in a way creating this relationship towards this new information as something that it wants to escape from, a belief I am following that I don’t know how to live with myself with this ‘bad’ information coming into my world and reality. It’s actually a point of not wanting to accept reality, accept what is here, and move back to a time where I didn’t have such news and ‘worries’, and so could have peace of mind. But of course this is not real peace as my reality is showing within this very reaction that I am not actually at peace or stable in my mind as I am reacting to news that is here.

So I see this as a point where I am existing in the belief that my life is going to change or my life is going to be different from the what if’s scenarios related to this news and so this brings up fear. I fear losing the comfort of how my life has been through what has always been in the past. How I have grown to have a normalcy within the continuous repetition of how things always are and have always been, so when there is a sudden change, my mind goes into a fear reaction because I haven’t stabilized myself in relation to what changes or adjustments I need to walk and live to be able to direct myself and so live effectively no matter what.

Creating my own self interested reality through the mind within desired experiences is going to create my living to be less effective and less supportive to myself and others in my world because I am not existing here, but becoming distracted else where in the alternate realities of imagination or thought the mind will direct me in. So to support myself I will walk some self forgiveness and self correction on existing within gloominess towards my world based on information received, and walking also the positive polarity that is keeping this in check in my world and thus keeping it in place. To then move into life and living through changing myself, to move into reality, accept it, see the gifts and support that is here, and walk the solutions I see is best for all. Shifting from my self interested mind reality to what is best for all here in real reality, breath living, that is where life is, it’s not an experience of what reality is or a reaction of what is happening, but it’s a living in the moment as an expression of how to create a new outcome that is best for all and self. Thanks for reading.

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Gloomy: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 168
Gloomy: Disconnected - Atlanteans - Part 169
Gloomy: When You are Gloomy - Atlanteans - Part 170
Gloomy: Moods and Dooms - Atlanteans - Part 171

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

Day 112 – Never Forget

Within this statement, we have used this point of ‘never forget’ within the context of never forgetting a particular heinous action done by one group of humans onto another, killing, maiming, harming, brutalizing, raping, and this can be seen with all actions against life, but this is only seen within published killings such as 9/11 world tower killings or events such as the holocaust, but this is being done over and over everyday within every place in this world. We use these words ‘never forget’ as a remembrance but in fact it’s a remembrance to seek revenge, we will never forget who attacked us, so thus we can keep fresh in our minds, the death, destruction, and dysfunction of a society that is driven to hate each other and so we can get our revenge to do the same. But this cause absolute dysfunction and devolution in this world because we never go to the origins and source of how and why this hate and abuse emerged in the first place to make the human annihilate against each other and all life that exist.  Money in this world not given to all equally and allowed all life to be supported  as life as one within all is the cause to the hell that is here, because oneness and equality of ALL life is not honored and respected within all, and thus inequality rule and we can see it everywhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money more valued and powerful then life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill in the name of god but in truth kill in the name of my god as money to have more and take from those that have what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fictious being in the sky to blame for my actions or inactions in the atrocities that have been brought on to life by the human in the name of money as our god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself take from another what is not mine as I have already have and thus want more then y fair share and so I abuse, kill, and rape in the name of my god as money for the desires I hold to have the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse, kill and rape another being in the name of money and having more then what is my fair share as I see myself as more worthy due to the greed of living more luxurious that I presume I deserve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill, abuse, and rape life here in the name of my desires and my wants as I see myself as more worthy then other beings due to who I am and how I have defined myself, and thus created the atrocities that have been brought to humanity over the centuries due to this greed and definition of being more and desiring the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to believe that I am more worthy then another being due to my birth place, my ethnicity, my religious affiliation, or any point of definition other then the equal value we all are as life itself, and thus created the annihilation of life as I have separate myself from myself in the greed for more and these definitions I hold as more valuable then other life beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as more worthy then another life being due to my ethnicity, culture, religion, or anything other then who I am as life as all are life as this physical existence we all share.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life and abuse it because I have defined myself as better and thus I deserve more rather then realizing the way to true freedom and prosperity through honoring another within the true value of who I am as life one and equal with all that exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life for the desire for more and kill and annihilate it because I allowed survival to exist instead of realizing we all are here and thus all can LIVE by giving to all what I would want for myself in equality and oneness within all points that exist, this will always equal all in value and give all what is needed to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am here one and equal with all life as I am physical as all are physical and separated myself as a belief that I am more due to a illusional definition of ‘I am better because…” I have created to justify the abuse and killing that I put on others to fulfill my desires as having more when I realize who I am and understand the equality and oneness of all life is fact as I can put myself in the shoes of the other and see this is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire more then my fair share and justify abuse and killing in the name of my desires, instead of realizing I can have all that is needed in this world by giving it to others and thus this will always be given to self because it was shared among all and there is enough because I created it in such a way using common sense and decency.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become greedy with what I have and what I want because I believed there wasn’t enough of what is here, realizing that in fact there is enough, I just desired more then my fair share and thus caused the conflict and abuse of others for taking the shares of others instead of giving to all equally as I would want for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the life in another and thus glorify the life in myself by giving to myself more then my fair share and thus taking from those who don’t have enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to deny the life in myself in equality and oneness which is eternal life and thus squander this opportunity for life in eternal enjoyment because I didn’t not want to give up the god as money for all to have as I would want for myself.

Self Commitment Statements to Follow.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

death, destruction, never forget, 9/11, holocaust, crimes against humanity, war, end of earth, end of life, dysfunction, society, desteni, eqafe, journey to life, iraq, afghanistan, 2012