My Journey to Life: being rude

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Day 197 - Reaction Dimension – In the ‘Taking things personally” Personality

For Further Perspective, you can check out relevant blogs:
Day 190 – Opening up an Event of Attack within The “Taking Things Personally” Personality
Day 191 – 'Taking things Personal' Personality – Thought Dimension - “She is Wrong”
Day 192 – ‘Taking Things Personal’ Personality– Fear Dimension – No Conflict!
Day 193 – “Taking Things Personal’ Personality – Fear Dimension Self Forgiveness in facing conflict
Day 194 - "Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - It's Her Fault!
Day 195 –"Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - Self Responsbility
Day 196- “Taking it Personal” Personality – Reaction Dimension – “Rudeness Demon”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to when being confronted within the point of being late, go into fear and thus inferiority, and within this go into competition, which activated the desire to become superior. I then went into the reaction of anger based on seeing her within a point of competition and thus seeing that I had to defeat her. I realize and understand that when I accept this point of competition and thus go into a point of desiring to win or be superior, I will activate the emotion of anger based on the belief that I have to go into battle.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of reaction of anger, I need to stop and breath, and thus do not accept myself to follow any more thoughts within polarities playouts, but remain stable and breath. Understanding that I have accessed a point of competition, and thus breathing through this desire to go in and create more conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in embarrassment based on this point of being confronted and being seen as doing something bad, and thus react in anger based on blaming the other for this embarrassment that was created when confronted. I realize and see that blame is not taking responsibility for my actions as becoming embarrassed, and thus no solution will be met, but only more conflict and instability within myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of embarrassment based on reacting to an external stimuli, I stop and breath, and say nothing until I am stable. Allow the point to settle down within, and do not accept myself to follow any points of reactions as these are what cause the conflict and instability within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being embarrassed to being weak based on holding onto memories of being called out in school, and thus seeing myself as weak because I was called out on this by others. Accepting the embarrassment as a point of self enslavement seeing myself as weak and less then when I experienced this emotion come up as it was usually due to being picked on as a kid.

And thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto that memory of being out casted and picked on within that feeling of being embarrassed and thus immediately access anger towards whoever it is that activated that feeling. I realize and see though that it is just a memory stored within my physical of a point that happened in the past that does not define who I am, and so I am not defined nor have to direct myself based on this feeling of embarrassment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed blame towards another through the reaction of become angry towards them and thus cause abuse towards them based on me not wanting to face myself and accept the responsibility to stop participating in these emotions and beliefs as embarrassment makes me weak, and thus stop my self diminishment and self sabotage through accepting it and thus stopping particpation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as weak and thus link this to being embarrassed and so define myself as this now as if this is who I am, which I realize is not me and does not define who I am.

I commit myself to when and as I am faced with this feeling of embarrassment, let go of all the thoughts through breathing and thus become stable within myself before I do anything. I commit to stop all blame and thus all anger when this feeling come up by preventing it from going there through the breath and my self will to have it stop controlling me by stopping my participation in the thoughts and reactions of emotion through accept it as a point I have to face and thus have the ability then to stop it.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Day 196- “Taking it Personal” Personality – Reaction Dimension – “Rudeness Demon”

Day 195 –"Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - Self Responsbility

Here looking at the point of the reaction dimension within this point of the conflict situation with my co-worker in which I have been writing about all the different dimensions that opened up within this event in the latest series of blogs. I have found that when I accepted and allowed, the thought dimension and thus thebackchat dimension, and the fear dimensions, I automatically energized the physical reaction stage of my actions within this event that caused rudeness and compromised my relationship with her due to my behavior towards her. The thought dimension was the initial justifications of my reactions of rudeness towards her based on believing the thoughts that I had created in my head, but within this they were not based on reality and thus were not based on fact. So my justifications were invalid and thus only followed through on based on my self interest to be right.

This assumption of what is so and thus me following these assumptions for my own self interest of being right is causing me to be abusive and unstable within myself, and where does that lead me, it compromises my self stability based on the fact that I will create and thus accumulate more conflict based on just trying to win. And when in competition the other will have to lose, which cause instant friction and conflict, and thus cause instability within my world and thus myself

My reaction of rudeness was the outflow result of these different dimensions of fear, backchat to fuel this rudeness and haste within being with her, were I lashed on in anger and deliberately made her feel bad. I find I would have approached the situation different if I had not followed these thoughts, and thus just been here in breath. So will walk the self forgiveness and self commitments to correct this point, and thus stop myself from going into these reactions of abuse through prevention within my own self will.