A Lady's Journey to Life: Survival Instinct Programming - Fear of the Unknown - Part 4

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Survival Instinct Programming - Fear of the Unknown - Part 4 - Day 394

Please see blogs below for more context to this series:
Survival Instinct Programming - Day 391
Survival Programming Correction - Part 1 - Day 392
Survival Programming Unpacked - Part 3 - Day 393

One of the hardest points that I have faced in my process is the fear of losing control of something/my environment, this out of control feeling within me when something doesn’t go as according to my way of having things always be, creates a lot of these desires for the survival instinct to come through. Usually within this survival instinct it is geared towards, survival no matter what it takes, do what ever I can do to get to a point of control again and security so I can feel normal again.

Within this though, it’s not that the reality of my life is secure or that I am existing within a normal state of being (that to be redefined at later point), but just to get to a state where my mind thinks I am ok and secure for even a moment, a day, a week, a month, or a year, it can be fleeting and it is, but if it quills the anxiety and fear in a moment, I will continue to exist in this cycle of security/insecurity through allowing fear to direct and define me. This is not real security though as it’s not based on actually creating myself in a way where I can be secure, as this is showing when things change in my life, I fear what may happen, so I am being defined by outer influences. When in reality I can direct myself and the solution in a way that is best for myself and so best for all. I do not have to continue to be subject and defined by the way life events occur, but can stand stable and stay in control of who I am regardless of what is occurring on the outer, creating a point of stability within myself through a point of harnessing self control and self discipline to direct myself in a way that is eventually or immediately able to create solutions that will support myself and so my world/reality.

Will walk some self forgiveness on this feeling of being out of control and not directing myself within what is here no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my fear of not having a stable reality where I am seeing and experiences people/places/things in a familiar way, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things that are unknown and unfamiliar in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of going to the extreme and look only within my self interest in a survival instinct I go into due to allowing this fear of the unknown possess me into believing that I will spin out of control in my life and be not secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having my life go out of control and so go to extremes within my mind in accepting the belief that I will fall and get lost if I don’t have control of everything that goes on in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the emotions of fear and sadness to come over me when I realize that I have points in my world that I can not control and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will become at a loss if I don’t have all that is here in my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing something in my world or reality as I feel that this will be gone forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can and have the ability to give what it is that I fear losing to myself and I realize that I am in fact equal with what is here so it’s a point of realizing that I am whole as I am part of all that is here, I can not be lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear to drive me into self interest and not consider my actions within what I am doing causing harm and abuse to others due to my reactions of emotions rather then letting them go and direct myself in stability.

When and as I see I am going into a point of fear and believing I will lose something due to unknown factors, I stop and breath, and realize this will compromise my effectiveness in reality to direct myself and move myself into a point of support and solutions for others and so myself.

I commit to breath and see where it is that I am fearing to live and move.

I commit to let go of the fear and give what it is to myself that I fear losing.

I commit to stop directing myself in emotions of reactions of fear and move within a breath movement of awareness.

I commit to live from the reality that is here and walk what I am able to walk in each breath as I realize this is all I can do in each moment.

I commit to support others as I would myself and stop fear from directing me into a survival instinct of self interest.

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Stress: The History, Origin and Nature - Atlanteans - Part 97