Tonight I listened to a Reptilian interview on this question and I found it quite eye opening because I always wanted to be caring, but it’s this point of am I truly a caring person, do I care for my fellow beings, or am I really only interested in my own mind? I would say on a superficial level I care about others because most of the time I am in such a state within my mind, thinking, fearing, paying attention to myself, others, and analyzing things, that for most of my day I am distracted and preoccupied and so can't spend the time necessary to really get involved with others and truly give my care absolute. I am not for real here most of the day, at times things will happen that bring me here like a person asking me a question or calling my name, but for most of my day I am in my head considering myself only. I am also cycling through another realted point where others care for me, they love me, and they provided me with happy things and support, and so I do the same for others. But within this is this really care, am I truly giving of myself unconditionally, free of motives and reactions to the people that I most care about ?
That I can say no, there is always a condition, a condition that I will get this care back, I will get the nice fuzzy good feelings just how I gave them out, so it’s never really about the other, but it’s about ensuring in the future I will have my security and feelings of goodness within the relationships I build with others. This because I am afraid to stand alone, stand on my own, and become free of energy, living from what is here, and directing what is here in full self trust and awareness, which is where the true freedom is and where true care can exist within that is not based on conditions. So care for another has only existed within a point of self interest for me, not based on a giving of myself to another part of myself in the best interest of the well being and standing with them into eternity, but given within fear to not lose my security and my feelings of happiness and positivity and so I can be protected.
Limiting myself from moving beyond the boundaries of fear, of conditions of living that create conflict and separation, and not living in the expression of myself in each moment irrespective of fearing what will happen or what people will thing, just existing here and directing within the common sense of what is here in each moment that is my care for myself and others. This is the living I would like to exist within and the care I would like to give, beyond the mind, beyond conditions, but here in the moment of expression, direct, specific, and immediate in what is best for the other as how I would treat and care for myself.
Sf and scs to follow, thanks for reading.