Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

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This is a Series, here are the others for reference:
My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362
Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363
Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365

Money has been a steady point within my life where I have gained confidence within myself from, if I have money then I am more able to do what I want and so get what I want. I also find I have gained a sort of arrogance that I disguise as confidence within my ability to make money and get money in my pockets if need be. I have been fortunate in this life to have connections where I am able to get a job and work, and I have found by using principles within my work environment such as loyalty, hard work, giving my best effort, considering others has helped me ensure an income and ensure I keep a job because I perform at a level that people like. So some cool points as well as points I have to work on because I use my ego to gain respect from others and demanding it as well through pushing my abilities and my know-how of the job to get myself heard or seen and so create rifts within areas in my life that are unacceptable and are not a way I would like to continue living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain confidence through working and demanding others recognize my skill through the confidence I present in a way that is arrogant at times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become arrogant with others and within myself towards others because within myself I have judged them as less then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better then others in the work place because I am able to move projects ahead and so believe that others are not working hard enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be confident in the justification as a belief that I work harder then others and so see others as a point of not doing enough where I believe I am doing more then them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as not working hard enough and so become confident and so arrogant within myself towards them instead of ensuring I am doing my best and so be able to support others to do this as well.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge others for there work ethic and make myself more in my own mind to gain this experience of confidence I desire within myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as a problem in the work environment without pushing myself to stand equal to them and see where it is that I myself am not working at my best and so turn around to face myself and ensure my work is optimal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe because I have the ability to make money and have money that I am more worthy then others who are not able to do this, and so gain confidence within the fact that I can make money where I see others can’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more then others because of my ability to make money where this is not the true worthiness or measure of a man. I realize it is what one do with what one has and how they live and care for the life with what they have that is one and equal to how self would want to be treated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that money measures a persons worth and created an idea that this makes them more if they are able to make more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to create an idea that if one makes more money then they are worth more and so create an energetic response within myself as being more then others and so feeling more important, inflating my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an energetic response as feeling more then another based on money worth to satisfy my desire to be important in life and so create a separation with others based on this desire of being more worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more then others because within myself I feel less then many people I meet.

-I will continue with the insecurity points later in this series.

When and as I see I go into a point of confidence based on an idea that money makes me more worthy or more important then another, I stop and breath, and realize that this only separates me from physical reality with others and the solutions we can come up with to ensure all are equally cared for and supported, and end the point in my mind of the polarity that an experience needs to take place, I am here like all others and that is who we are, here in this physical reality all of us together and so we must ensure all are consider as this is what demands of this physical reality to function in balance which is what makes sense always.

I commit myself to let go of the idea that money makes another more worthy then someone who doesn’t have it or can’t make enough.

I commit myself to let go of the belief that I am important because I can make money and become confident within myself towards others based on this belief.

I commit to let go of the experience of confidence based on an idea and desire to be more.

I commit to walk as myself in facing who I am within myself when I go and judge another and see within my life I am doing the same thing and change myself.

I commit to change my living from the mind to the physical and support solution that will support everyone to have money and a life of decency in the best way possible.

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Clean Room High - Day 324

Today I cleaned my room, it was quite dirty because it’s been raining here on the farm for the past few days, so my shoes have been all muddy, tracking it in to the room. Also, there is dust build up and spider webs and clothes and junk just collecting all over tables and chairs and closet doors, so it has become a mess. When my room is messy I have a point of anxiety within me because of the point of losing control within this and allowing it to get so messy that things will permanently stay this way, like getting a stain on the floor or ruining linens or something like that, whether or not this actually is the case is irrelevant, but I think about it and thus the anxiety grows. So we have a visitor coming tomorrow, Dan, we cleaned his room as well, this inspiring me to get my butt in gear and clean mine. I found this awesome little vacuum cleaner that works very well, and so I went to town in Dan’s room and then in mine, being extremely meticulous and thorough, and the results show. Also, the mopping was easy pezy because the vacuum was done properly, which is very practical.

Now that my room is clean and very organized, there is this air about me when I come in, like all is right in the world, of course this is not true, but in my little bubble world it is so. I enjoy very much cleanliness and having things organized and orderly. To get to this point is not always easy though of having things clean, but I find putting in the effort, and working hard always pays off with satisfactory results.

But the point I am going to do self forgiveness on is the point of creating an energy relationship to having a clean room and feeling lighter when I walk in here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of relief when I enter my room after cleaning it and feel ok and good within myself, this I see is a point of positive polarity to the negative points I am feeling in my world and having like a point of lightness to seeing a clean room, but really it’s an energy movement of satisfaction because it changes my expression. I realize in reality a room is just a room and cleaning is a point of enjoying through living in each breath while cleaning, it’s not a rush as I walk in the room, but an expression as me here living it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use cleaning as an escape to not have to face the points within me that I am facing of anxiety and for a moment have a serenity to go into and not have so much anxiety, but this is just a point of suppression and not dealing with the points that will continue to be here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within myself and my actions deceiving me in using a clean room for instance in a point to make me feel good because I am existing within my world in the opposite as fear and worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within fear and worry due to unknown events that will come my way and thus fear failure and rejection within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection and failure because I have defined myself as useless if this is what happens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in relation to failure and rejection as useless and feel bad about myself in judgment rather then seeing the point that did not work and walk next time to correct the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the point of the opportunity to physical correct myself within the gifts that are mistakes or failures or rejections, to use these to my benefit and change the point that did not work to work for me, if this did not occur the failure for instance, I would be much more difficult to know what to do otherwise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and be within my mind as polarities of good or bad and miss reality here, where I have the opportunity to live the change that is necessary if I would stop existing in illusion and see reality for what it is, not defined and thus a point of my own creation and will if I direct it as such.

When and as I see myself go into a point of escape and relief due to the external reality, I stop and breath, and I realize that this is due to a point of self sabotage and that I do not have to continue living in such a way, but can live in practical support within what reality is showing me and make the necessary changes accordingly. I will have to check within me whether I am suppressing a point or not facing something to ensure that I am not deceiving myself and able to stand clear in reality and make the necessary changes or directions that will be best.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to always have things clean and thus also stop judging things that are dirty, and simply clean when it is time to clean and enjoy myself within it as an expression of my living.

I commit myself to flag point and write about the points that I am not facing and trying to avoid such as fear and worry through escaping such with cleaning, and walk the necessary steps to clear this and stand stable in reality.

I commit myself to see failure and rejection as an opportunity for learning and stop the judgments as I stop the past from influencing me by stopping the memories from directing me.

I commit myself to correct myself in my living when I have seen that I have fallen or missed a point of what will be best in my life to walk and thus what will be best for the world, always considering and aligning these points the best I can.

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