Living Self Courage – Trust in Self – Day 430

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So I am finding more and more this ‘trusting in my self’ to be a true statement. I often want to put trust into others and create a hope that things will turn out well and turn out the way I desired, but 9 out of 10 times it simply doesn’t. I find the most efficient and opportunistic method forward has been moving through resistances and putting trust within myself that I will be able to walk in the moment here and face and direct whatever comes. As I realize and most I am sure can relate, we have no effect on what is to come, we can not predict the future, so creating and building this trust with myself stand’s as a foundation for how I will and am able to move within my living reality in each and every moment I will face which is key to live beyond my fears and what I believe I can't do. I have found though that it’s an actual will to move meaning it doesn't come automatic with nice feelings and entertainment because of the patterns of self sabotage that i have existed within for so much of my life. Facing one’s fears and moving through resistance has not yet gotten easy, it requires self discipline and self determination to move through, but I have found and what helps ease a bit the motion of this movement that has to be done is the expansion that comes out of making the effort.

Here again the future can’t be predicted so one has to be ready for anything and accepting whatever comes is another tool that I have found supports to continue to progress within the action of living self courage. This is a process I have found, a learning process that can not be thought up in the mind, like the mind always makes reality into something that is glittery and glammed up or very scary and treacherous, but in actuality it is sometimes really great and sometimes really not, but all in all it is unpredictable and very interesting to say the least. Usually I have found when applying this point of facing fears and moving through resistances, it is never how I had thought it would be, and I am usually surprised at what comes out of the moments I push within. Always there is a gift for me that emerges, and usually in the form of expanding myself and or supporting others to do the same.

And always the journey continues and th challenges continue, but I have learned what matters within the time i am living in these moments is who am I going to be? And this is the most enjoyable part, I can decided in each moment who I am, no one can tell or make me be a specific way, I have my own will to do and live how I want to live. So it's important you live in a way you will be proud of and support others within because we are all here together, and it's our responsibility to bring about what is best for all. If you look in self honesty, you will see the direction that is needed to be walked. 

Though for the point of this blog, i have found to live self trust I have to apply and continue to commit myself to live self courage and push through my fears by applying the tools of self forgiveness, self correction, and breathing in the moment, and never giving up, no matter what, always keep walking and doing my best and supporting others to do the same. Before you know it you are where you believed you would never be, you live the apparent impossible, and so expand yourself in to new heights through your own self will, and that is truly inspiring.

Will continue in my next blog. Thanks.

Interview Support on the topic of self courage:

You Will Never Let Go - Quantum Mind Self Awareness
Can't Let Go: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 229
Can't Let Go: Transform Your Memories - Atlanteans - Part 230
Can't Let Go: Giving Up - Atlanteans - Part 231
Can't Let Go: Traumatic Memories - Atlanteans - Part 232
Can't Let Go: One-Dimensional Memories - Atlanteans - Part 233

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Living Self Courage - Moving through Resistances – Day 429

Yesterday I had a work event where I had to face my fears and move through resistances that were intense and very familiar. This initially started in the morning before I was set to go to the event, when I am getting ready, I would look in the mirror and see within myself that I am not looking good enough. I will then start to participate in thoughts and feelings of anxiety and dread about the day where I am going to be feeling ‘ugly’ the whole day. Now this feeling is something I have been living with for a long time, this coming from many times and patterned behaviors from the past where I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and in my mind analyze myself in comparison to others in why I am worse or better.

So going to this event all the same patterns started to emerge, where I was dreading walking out the door because within me I had already failed, I was already seeing myself as a failure based on not being able to compete and live up to this illusion of an expectation I have been creating in my mind that I have to look perfect to then be able to present myself as perfect, though this perfection doesn’t in fact exist. There is no one on the planet that is able to live up to the expectation I have morphed and changed and sculpted within my mind to be this perfect picture, it simply is illusionary and absolutely insane that I am allowing this point to have so much power over me. I realize though through support form eqafe that the mind is using these moments where I give in and give up within myself to take over and keep generating these thoughts and emotions for me to believe this is real, this is who I am so the mind within my physical body can generate energy and continue existing as it does in full control.

Though, thankfully I have supportive partner who helped me walk through the door and get me to the event where we needed to be at that moment. I again at the booth started to see these thoughts and the feelings were coming up of dread and feeling like I am a failure, but again I kept getting supportive words from those around me and this helped. I then saw this fear and I was looking at it and within me seeing that it is so strong and so big, I don’t know how I am going to be able to walk and do this, and stop participating in these thoughts and feelings. Though the only way to my freedom from these feelings and thoughts continuing to haunt me is for me to in real time stop them, breath, forgive myself, and stand within myself as a life force able and willing to move beyond my fears, and live self courage.

This the courage and living of never giving up or giving into to these thoughts and feelings of diminishment no matter what I face is an act of perseverance to push through and make this world a better place. So as life is here always to be faced as self, I then got put into the situation that I was fearing where I had to speak to the people walking by because there was no one else who could. So I started speaking. And again I started speaking, and then again, and by the fourth or fifth time I was feeling like my ‘normal’ self again, I found my words and I was actually pretty surprised at my ability to speak to others and find ways to explain the product in the moment.

My point to the blog is that in order to move through our fears and our beliefs about ourselves of self compromise like I have with this fear of people and believing I am not good enough for this, I realized that this resistance has to be walked through, the fears have to be walked through and faced in the moment, and I have to change in the moment, I have to move myself to change this belief about myself and prove that I can become more. Otherwise there is no other way to the success I want for myself in selling my product or the success to making the world a better place. I have to face these things and within this the gift had emerged where I was able to see my potential in action in real time as I shared myself and moved myself to support my business in the opportunities presented and I created to do so. I also am grateful for these people in my life who support me when I need it and are there for me when I am not there for myself.

Self forgiveness to come as I will walk more in the next blog on this point of letting go of fear and walking through resistances. Thanks.

If you want to support yourself and this world to be a better place,

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Equal Life Foundation - Site
Interview Support:

You Will Never Let Go - Quantum Mind Self Awareness
Can't Let Go: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 229
Can't Let Go: Transform Your Memories - Atlanteans - Part 230
Can't Let Go: Giving Up - Atlanteans - Part 231

Related articles

• The Obedient Slave of Resistance - An Artists Journey To Life: Day 425
• The Fears of The "Starving Artist" (Self Corrections) - An Artists Journey To Life: Day 177
• Day 407: The Downside of Be-living the 'Nobody Wants Me' Character
• Day 277: The Change is Knocking
• Resistance to Fear
• Day 32: I Am Really Good - Just Not This Time!

Living Self Courage – Forgiving the Fear of My Mind – Day 428

Artist: Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become afraid of my own thoughts I am thinking and react in shame based on the context of the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others will judge me for the thoughts that I think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my own mind and the thoughts that I think, realize, seeing, and understanding that the thoughts are not who I really am and I have the power to stop them, but I can not deny them as I am the one participating in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mind as demented and become ashamed at how I have been existing within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to become shameful for what goes on in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone within how I am experiencing my mind and that I am bad for thinking in such ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there is something wrong with me for the way in which I think about my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind determines and defines who I am and that within my belief about myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that I am less then others because of the way in which I have judged my own mind as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my own mind in a way where I fear certain parts of it and believe that I can’t move beyond these fears and mind points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t move beyond my limitations I have believed to be true as me having something wrong with me and that I can’t move beyond this belief of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive this relationship of having something wrong with me based on the way in which my external body looks and memories I have held onto of me as real to define who I am in this moment here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my self when I say in my mind that I am less then others and that looks matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based on the belief that I am a less then capable being and that I am not good enough to make it out of my mind and into physical living here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking and facing my mind because I knew I would have to face instances that would make me uncomfortable and question myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based on the beliefs I hold about myself in my mind rather then questioning these beliefs and seeing who I in fact am within my physical living in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about my judgments I have about myself for fear of being weakened in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can become weakened in the physical based on sharing myself in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so create the belief that some are weak and some are strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind is more powerful then me and I can’t walk and let go of my fears when I realize it takes only my self will, I can decide in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being misunderstood and so judged harshly for this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged in anyway by others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t yet accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the only one judging myself and so holding myself in these judgments until I release myself and stop judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto these judgments so I don’t have to face these fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto judgments so I can continue to get happy energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to have energy to feel good.

When and as I see I am going into a point of judging my mind and going into resistances to look at a point or points within what is coming up in moments within my mind, I stop and breath, and realize that going into resistance is only disempowering me to do anything about the thoughts and or my mind patterns coming up, and so I realize I have to accept myself as my mind, look at it in common sense and self honesty, and stop taking it personal.

I commit myself to stop fear and see directly what is here through breathing and slowing down in the moment to expand myself within what is here.

I commit myself to breath and let go of all resistances to look and investigate my mind and what is coming up within it.

I commit myself to breath and let go any point of judgment or comparison I have towards my mind or my world as I realize this is disempowering me to change.

I commit myself to face my mind in every moment it comes up and move myself to walk the change that is necessary to align with life and live what is best for all.

Interview Support on the Blog Topic I recommend:
Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Related articles

• Day 436: Suppressing In Fear of Expressing
• No Progress Without Practice. DAY 312
• Stifling Self Through Suppression - Pt. 2 - DAY 306
• Day 261: FEAR of Disease
• Day 132: DESTENI Character - Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2)

Living Self Courage – Day 427

Courage -  “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”

Within recent days I have found myself investigating this word courage, and what does that mean to me. I got some perspective from another who shared that courage is never giving up, even when one fall’s down, you get back up and keep going. Here in the definition it states that courage is strength to venture, preserve, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

Within my world, I can see and have experienced many experiences that bring emotion such as fear or anxiety, and within this I have faced this decision to stand within courage or fall into the emotions as fear and anxiety. What I have found is that I have existed too much within a desire to create a back door or an easy way out, where I have disempowered myself to live courageous and live empowerment within myself. I have disempowered myself because I have not found the resolve consistently to live self courage, to live the strength to stand by myself and the tools that I realize support me to become stronger within my resolve, stronger within my skills, stronger within my stand within who I am, and for this I have to ask myself why have I done this? Why have I disempowered myself? Why have I not been courageous?

And what comes up within asking these questions is a source power within me that is still standing, that is still here, that exist within me that is remaining vigilant and ever moving to stand within this word as self courageous. But within this I realize that this is all just a form of potential, this is something that exist here that I can become if I will it, but I realize that it will not exist if I don’t create it. I have to put in the time, the effort, the consistency, the living breath to move myself and so live the word self courageous. What does this look like to live self courageous in my day to day living?

This looks like moving myself beyond my limitations and boundaries I have set and become comfortable within, the patterned behavior I exist within day in and day out, and realizing that I am doing this myself, no one else is responsible for the way I am existing and experiencing myself but me. And then within this realization not just seeing it and going into an energetic experience of despair towards the thought that I am not living to who I expect or desire to be, but letting go and moving through this emotional experience of myself as all the falls and mistakes of my past, but understand that what exist is what is here as me in the presence that is here as myself as breath in action. I am still here, I am still breathing, I still have the opportunity to change and so move beyond my limitations and live self courageous in action. I have to act on my words I speak and write, I have to act on the commitments I write and commit to, I have to move within sounding myself in the physical to a new being that exist within self honesty and self discipline in each moment, and also I have to live out self courage by facing the resistances and fears that come up that have in the past cause me to stop moving, stop my living action as myself, and so exist I continue to get lost in my mind. The mind as myself is here, it exist as me this is a fact, but I realize that I don’t have to fear it. I have been fearing it as too powerful and so within living this as a belief of myself, I have allowed myself to disempower myself to move beyond my fears. But I see and realize by living this word courage, I can move into action as within the realization that living courage is never giving up no matter what is here and moving within my resolve of facing fears, building through this myself as the living of me aligned with the words I speak, I start here with living self courage.

I will continue more in my next blog. Thanks.

Interview Support on the Blog Topic I recommend:
Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Money Fears- Being Controlled – Day 426

I am going to write on Money fears, one of my fears with money is being controlled within what I can spend my money on and what I can’t, basically having an outside party monitoring what I am doing with my money. Now that I am in an agreement with another, this money fear has come to a head and I have to walk the necessary introspection to find the solution that is here that will be best for both. I find within myself my desire is to avoid him being involved all together, and walk the money point separate. But within this, I see the divisiveness of this decision and the power structure and intimacy we can create with us walking as one unit together, walking principled and doing what is best for ourselves, and so what is best for all.

Separating things is a form of hiding as within this I don’t have to be accountable to another and so can continue to walk the same path I have been walking for my life which hasn’t led to financial stability in the way I would like, and so I see the value in walking money with another as two is stronger then one as the one plus one equation equaling two demonstrates. Within this partnership, I also am learning a whole new set of skills within money management walking with another as I have not yet considered some of the points he has and he will walk the same with me, so it’s mutually benefitting us in many different dimensions, which is what I would like for myself and so for us both. I see I can still be financially independent based on the structure of the agreement that is developed, meaning we can establish the points of what we both want in the agreement as well as being responsible and ensuring each of us is heard and considered, this decision doesn’t have to be based from fear and/or desire, but can be walked within self awareness and a commitment to find solutions that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be unaccountable within my spending so I can spend how I want with no ability to track what I buy and so create a point of secrecy within the agreement due to fear of being accountable for my actions and having to face another within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep a hidden record of what I buy so I only see it so I can not have to stay disciplined and so stay in self interest where I am only considering myself and my own needs and wants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having someone else be involved with my spending and money making because I don’t want to give up my freedom within doing what I want with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up control of the way in which I spend my money and so resist any idea of having another come into my financial situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me within who I am with another in finances instead of seeing the practical path of the two of us together and doing what is best for all to find where it is we shall walk this path as we are committed to each other and so committed to the path to ensure we have financial responsibility and understanding for us both to create a path to what will be best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based within my idea of independence of others, when I realize, see, and understand that there are other’s in my world who I need to consider and treat as an equal, and so I understand, see, and realize that I am not alone within myself and my world, and so need to walk the path that will support our agreement to find the best means of ensuring we are secure and so can walk the path’s necessary that we set out to do.

When and as I see I am going into a point of backchat to do my own thing and not create an agreement with my partner in terms of any point that is here to be discussed and sorted out, I stop and breath, and realize that this action of creating agreements is able to be walked within the principles of what is best for all through self will and self discipline as well as self trust to realize that what actions are needed can be walked by self and done within an a way that will support both as equals when the other is consider in this way and the information is looked at self honestly and within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the fear of control and see the common sense and practical path that needs to be walked to support an equality with another in agreements that are required to be made for the stability and well being of all involved.

I commit myself to breath and look within myself in self honesty before I speak to ensure I have understood why I speak and stop the reactions that will come automatically.

I commit myself to write out the patterns I see come up within reaction to ensure I face the point and sort it out in writing to give myself a guideline to change in the physical.

I commit myself to do what it takes to reprogram our money living together and so for myself that will support us both to stability and what is best.

I commit myself to treat my partner (all life) as myself and put myself in his shoes before I speak as we are one and equal here always.

Interview Support On Money and Relationships:

When Money Breaks Relationships - The Soul of Money
For Love and Money - The Soul of Money
Money Agreement: Step 1 - The Soul of Money
Sharing and Reactions - The Soul of Money
Give and Receive - The Soul of Money
Your Relationship and Money - The Soul of Money

Join Us:
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Osho Card Support - Ending the Cycle of Self Abuse through Doing it - Day 425

Tonight I did an osho card reading, and the overall point I took from it was that at this time I have the potential to transcend my sorrow from my past, the suffering I have created in my life, and in this here moment expand my creation process through principles into something not only better for myself, but better for the whole of this world. I obviously see the correlation as within Desteni this is our primary focus, changing ourselves from within to what is best for all to then be able to change the outer in the best way possible as we have proven to ourselves through actually living it. I often times think about how much of my life is a struggle and how much of what I struggle with feels overwhelming and out of my reach to handle. But within this I am not in fact actually facing the real problem or pushing myself enough in each moment to do what is necessary to stop the struggle and overwhelmingness because as I realize I am creating this myself and so I have to then create the solution through my own will, there is nothing or no one else that can do this for me, I have realized this, if I don't move, my process does not move and so becomes stagnant.

A lot of the times, I am not so stable within my application because I am still accepting and allowing my back chat which is the nasty speaking of myself in the back of my mind to control and have power over me, and so diminish my effectiveness in who I can really be in this life. I can easily brush aside my need for particpation and become distracted with a whole area of things that we have created to distract ourselves with in this reality. But within dismissing and distracting myself from these backchat dimensions, I am missing the opportunity within this life to create myself new, to change myself, and let go of that which is not supporting me. To substantiate myself and so my life I have to create this for myself, there is no one else but me within this physical body and I as all have equally the ability to change our patterns that are not working for what is best for all and create solutions to then so create life.

I am focusing currently on one point and this is whenever within my mind I am hearing or seeing an experience come up of judging myself in any way, I immediately breath and stop it in awareness deliberately, and move myself within the physical in full participation meaning completely aware of directing myself to stop. I am pushing this until I am satisfied that I have proven to myself that I can stop in a moment through my own directive will. I have accepted and allowed myself to get discouraged or get overwhelmed and fall into energy in the past, and so stop my active participation in my process to really substantiate myself in the decision I have made to stop my self judgment character and become aware of my actions in the physical. Theses are cyclical points that I see I am falling into at the critical moments, so I am dedicating myself here to continue walking this process of stopping and changing in the here moment, and creating myself to be self directive by walking this process creation of myself step by step and breath by breath until it is done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up in the difficult moments within walking a point of stopping my mind participation such as stopping my backchat and so I realize that substantiating myself in the decision I live that is aligned with life and living this decision into the physical is how to get this done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the mind in what it is bringing up about me such as that I am less then others or greater then, and so give up in the moments where the energy becomes intense and I am feeling overwhelmed, I realize that this is the critical creation point of myself in moving beyond the mind limitation and self enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move through the resistances to continue and push myself in this process, and so I see that within this not pushing I have diminished my potential that is here in each moment, and I realize to re-substantiate this again I have to stand and push myself when I want to give up or give in, otherwise i will continue to exist as the mind cause i am not changing myself in this critical moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have what it takes to move beyond my limitations and it’s just too much, when I realize, see, and understand that this process is able to be walked within a breath by breath living, no past no future, just here directing in the moment and moving myself in a process of substantiations through my living participation and building self awareness.

When and as I see I am going into a point of wanting to fall or give in to the experiences within myself, I stop and breath, and realize that these moments of extreme experiences are the crucial moments to move through and substantiate myself within because I realize I am reaching the limits to my mind consciousness system and to move beyond that will be a push because I have to create it and it's also unknown, but moving beyond limitation and the unknown resistances is who I decide to be.

I commit myself to stop my backchat in each moment I see it come up within myself through breath and physical self awareness participation of stopping.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for who I have become and what I have created, let that go, and create from a point of awareness here within an expression of equality and oneness that life is here and we only have to create it within ourselves in who we are to live it.

I commit myself to live the correction within the moments that are here to be walked by moving through resistances and facing and transcending my fears by living them and changing myself within them to understand the point and so create a new reality in self direction.


Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
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Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Related articles

• Day 182: I am not good enough" character - backchat dimension (Part4)
• Stifling Self Through Suppression. DAY 304
• day 541: be like a tree.
• Day 132: DESTENI Character - Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2)