My Journey to Life: anxiety

Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Monday, November 21, 2016

Self Empowerment and the Desteni I Process - Day 533

Here I discuss my process of understanding and living these words, self empowerment, in my life. And how it transformed my awareness of myself and my state of being to be one of confidence and determination to walk what is best for myself and all life. This is part of the desteni i process tools which has helped me immensely learn how to live in this way. Thanks for listening.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Correcting Myself Day 447

Previous Business Fear Blogs I have done in this Series:
Business Fears – Fear of Not Making the Sale – Day 444
Business Fears- Fear of Failure – Day 443
Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Day 446

Correction process of the self forgiveness I did in my last blog on the fear of not showing up for my business and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknowns of showing up in life because there is a certain amount of risk involved and so self trust is needed and success is not guaranteed.

I commit myself to face my fears of the unknown and assess myself and the direction I take in common sense and what is best and lead myself into a direction where I am responsible and stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it to a satisfactory point of not having self trust enough to walk the sales process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self trust is developed through living it, it’s not based on the external but based on the internal of myself and who I am in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself away to the external picture that I react to, I realize, see, and understand that I have not developed this trust within myself as of yet, so I have to embrace myself and the environment in these moments and realize I will be able to stand and direct myself through whatever is here to be faced.

I commit myself to challenge my self to continue to push myself into uncomfortable situations within my process as a saleswomen and in life to push my boundaries and thus push my expansion within who I am as self trust.

I commit myself develop who I am within myself in expanding my skills and capabilities to be able to take on new dimensions of my sales process as well as new experiences within my living and be able to walk it and grow within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life within the pictures that exist in my mind being projected onto reality, I see, realize, and understand that these mind pictures are based on movement within self as thoughts, energies, feelings, emotions, and that within this it is in a self interest.

I commit myself to move myself to let go of my mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions within letting go of my self interest to have it my way or get what I want and so I commit myself to stand within the principle of doing what is best for all and so creating this in my physical living.

I commit myself to redefine the words I use to be structured within the direct living of myself in my environment where I have walked a process of purification and standing within a direct understanding of who I am one and equal with my creation as myself in my living and so one and equal with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear life here in the external when i see, realize, and understand all that exist here is self, we are all equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to stand.

I commit myself to let go of fear through understanding it in writing and seeing within myself what I am hiding from and denying within myself and so giving this to myself.

I commit myself to walk the process of facing and transcending my fears once I have walked a process of understanding the fears.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take full self responsibility for myself and my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the only point that exist and it’s simple is to live best for all in each breath and let go of the system as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of this point of unknown within what is to come in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people and their multiple reactions toward me.

I commit myself to take responsibility for who I am within my living and stand within a point of self investigation and self change to ensure I am prepared to walk what is needed to be walked to live what is best for all and have developed the self honesty to in fact do this.

I commit myself to stop taking the external personal and start to stand within using it as a mirror to see who I am within myself and what it is that this reaction within me is showing me about myself.

I commit to walk the process of change within the reactions I have to transcend them through understanding and changing my living to a point of embracing what is here through acceptance, understanding, and solution oriented living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to say or what to do in moments of the presentation or speaking to others if and when they should react.

I commit myself to let go of fear and express myself here within who I am in each moment and trust I will be able to direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that a correction process is needed within all life, each being in all it’s forms have a process to walk to self perfection until one is here. So as can be seen with the state of our world, we have to walk this self perfection process each and everyone and it’ll take time.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for fearing who I am or who I will be and fearing others, and so I commit myself to embrace all of me here, accept myself, and correct that which is not best for all and so best for myself in all I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the ridicule and cruelty in others, when I see, realize, and understand I have done this myself and still do it within my mind, so if I ask of another person to stop being cruel and mean I must end it within myself first.

I commit myself to stop being cruel within my mind by stopping my backchat and reactions through walking the process of correction and disciplining myself to let go and be here in acceptance and self honesty.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Living Self Courage – Day 427

Courage - “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”

Within recent days I have found myself investigating this word courage, and what does that mean to me. I got some perspective from another who shared that courage is never giving up, even when one fall’s down, you get back up and keep going. Here in the definition it states that courage is strength to venture, preserve, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

Within my world, I can see and have experienced many experiences that bring emotion such as fear or anxiety, and within this I have faced this decision to stand within courage or fall into the emotions as fear and anxiety. What I have found is that I have existed too much within a desire to create a back door or an easy way out, where I have disempowered myself to live courageous and live empowerment within myself. I have disempowered myself because I have not found the resolve consistently to live self courage, to live the strength to stand by myself and the tools that I realize support me to become stronger within my resolve, stronger within my skills, stronger within my stand within who I am, and for this I have to ask myself why have I done this? Why have I disempowered myself? Why have I not been courageous?

And what comes up within asking these questions is a source power within me that is still standing, that is still here, that exist within me that is remaining vigilant and ever moving to stand within this word as self courageous. But within this I realize that this is all just a form of potential, this is something that exist here that I can become if I will it, but I realize that it will not exist if I don’t create it. I have to put in the time, the effort, the consistency, the living breath to move myself and so live the word self courageous. What does this look like to live self courageous in my day to day living?

This looks like moving myself beyond my limitations and boundaries I have set and become comfortable within, the patterned behavior I exist within day in and day out, and realizing that I am doing this myself, no one else is responsible for the way I am existing and experiencing myself but me. And then within this realization not just seeing it and going into an energetic experience of despair towards the thought that I am not living to who I expect or desire to be, but letting go and moving through this emotional experience of myself as all the falls and mistakes of my past, but understand that what exist is what is here as me in the presence that is here as myself as breath in action. I am still here, I am still breathing, I still have the opportunity to change and so move beyond my limitations and live self courageous in action. I have to act on my words I speak and write, I have to act on the commitments I write and commit to, I have to move within sounding myself in the physical to a new being that exist within self honesty and self discipline in each moment, and also I have to live out self courage by facing the resistances and fears that come up that have in the past cause me to stop moving, stop my living action as myself, and so exist I continue to get lost in my mind. The mind as myself is here, it exist as me this is a fact, but I realize that I don’t have to fear it. I have been fearing it as too powerful and so within living this as a belief of myself, I have allowed myself to disempower myself to move beyond my fears. But I see and realize by living this word courage, I can move into action as within the realization that living courage is never giving up no matter what is here and moving within my resolve of facing fears, building through this myself as the living of me aligned with the words I speak, I start here with living self courage.

I will continue more in my next blog. Thanks.

Interview Support on the Blog Topic I recommend:
Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Day 186 – How to Stop the Fear of Failure

For further perspective, reference the following blogs:

Day 179 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Part 1.1 - Fear of Being Exposed
Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2

Day 181 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light - Part 2.1
Day 182 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light Part 2.2
Day 183 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Not Making It - Part 3.1
Day 184 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Fear of Not Making It – Part 3.2

Looking at this fear today and how it affects me within my living, the fear of failing. I see within this fear, I have created within me a desire to always succeed and always be seen within my world as a winner and able to make it. I mean who would I be and what would people think of me if I failed at something, within myself I made this a definitive point of how I saw myself and how I lived my life, by how others saw me and that I was being seen within the top of what I was doing.

Within points that I was not skilled at or not proficient in, I would suppress and usually not attempt to do based on this fear of being seen by others as a failure, and so never pushed myself to go outside this programming of this potential to fail and really go for things that I wasn’t excelling in naturally. This obviously limits my capabilities and expression in living and stunting myself within who I could be if I stopped this fear, and allowed myself to go full out within what I am expressing in, allowing myself to fail at things if it occurs without fear. As failure is not an end to something or a conclusion of something or someone, but is a reference point for self to see and realize that that particular skill needs more work, dedication, and attention, so not to give up based on this fear, but give it a go and a chance for self to see who one is within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within myself create a desire to succeed and win based on this desires built up within playing sports of wanting to be the best and be the winner seeing how it is when one lose as how others perceive those people, and fearing being seen this way and thus creating a fear of failing. I realize based on this desire to be a winner, I created this fear within myself of failing because I valued the winner as more worthy then those who have lost, defining them as a loser, and associating people in the future with this tag and memory of seeing them as this person who is less then me because they lost and I won.

I commit myself to when and as a point of desire to win and thus go and judge another as a loser based on this fear within myself to be the loser, to have failed in what I was doing, I stop and breath, and do not accept thethoughts as desires to direct me. Realizing and seeing that I am one and equal to those who have ‘lost’, and so let go of all the predefinitions of superiority I am holding onto related to winning, I commit myself to let go of the energy through breathing and not participating in the thoughts of being better or a winner because I realize this creates the polarity of fearing to fail. I understand and see that all life is equal and one to myself who in living within the process of walking a point to perfection, as I have walked the same process just in different contexts or not perhaps, thus I commit to walk as equals to others and support them in any points or advice I see and can give that is relevant to their process of learning and I can see in self honesty is best for all. I commit to not accept ego to direct me, and push humbleness in realizing that we are all life and all are on the same level of equality no matter what we can do or what we succeed or fail in, it’s a learning process within living and expressing self, this is to be considered always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on if others see me as a failure when I do not complete a task to the best of my ability, and thus go into fear based on fearing them not liking or accepting me because I have judged this point of failing as being not good enough. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life through what we are good at and what we fail in as this is not a fair assessment nor self honest because it is based on ideas and perceptions of how I perceive others in my mind not based on fact and equal consideration. I realize that life is not defined nor can be compared within those who are good and those who do things bad, and thus create a value judgment of them that sticks within self as a memory to define them by in the future.

I realize within this point that this is purely done in self interest to feed the ego to be seen as more and better then another being to make self look better and thus feel better through another’s expense. I realize that this is self dishonest and not living within equality with all life as equality is here and is constant, there is no good or bad as definition within a value conclusion of a person, but only in reference to who one is within one’s living in their own living assessment to realize themselves within the best they can be, using the good/bad points within self understanding and working towards an end goal of equalizing self with all life so all express completely here in equality in oneness and equality as in self direction and self correction to align always with these principles.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of judging another based on abilities and thus judging them from this point, I stop and breath, and do not accept the thoughts as I remain committed to stopping and not fueling these thoughts of separation for my own self-interest. I commit to support life in all ways to realize themselves and their own expression within a self corrective process of self will through writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, and living the change to align with oneness and equality within the physical world, as I do this and continue to push myself to my own self equality within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of others within my mind of failing or defining them as a loser, and then when I meet them again allow and accept energy as satisfaction to direct me into feeling good about myself because within my mind, I have a point as memory where I can see they have failed and thus judge them for this, and have a ‘memory’ held that I am better then this person. I realize that within this point it is based on self insecurity where I desire and use others failures for my own satisfaction based on the fact that I judge myself as a failure, and use these points of others failing to my advantage to show to myself that I am better then them, so I hold a memory in my mind of them for reference for myself to judge them for in the future so I can continue to fuel this energy as feeling good at another’s failure.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of judging another based on them not succeeding in a point or skill, I stop and breath, and do not allow myself to access any memories, allowing them to flow through me and not participating by saying ‘no I do not accept and allow myself to judge another from this memory nor allow this memory to direct me into comparison and competition’. I push myself to breath through the energy movement and remain stable. Not communicating with the being until I am clear and not in reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a memory of others within an idea that I have judged of them based on a single event in time, I stop all judgment of others, and treat all equal to how I would like to be treated.

I commit myself to let go of judgments when they arise of others through breathing and stopping participation in the energy as thoughts or memories, until I am here and nothing moves me.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day 181 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light - Part 2.1

For reference please check out the following blogs:

Day 179 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Part 1.1 - Fear of Being Exposed

Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2

Here looking at another fear that has created anxiety within me and stress within my living due to allowing this fear to take over at times and direct my living into uncomfortable situations and uncomfortability within me. This fear is the fear of being seen in a bad light by others, and the basis of this fear is due to the desire to impress others and have them see me as 'good' or 'successful' as this is something I value in others seeing me in this way as I have defined myself by this value. The point that is missing within this is the common sense within what this fear ends up creating and the uneasiness within my living when this fear comes up and takes over. So if I am with a group of people, and I find I am desiring these people to like me and see me as good at whatever it is we are doing, I will immediately go into this point of fear based on now creating thisexpectation that I have to be good to be seen in this way by the others. So creating the point of failure, which is another fear that is created within this fear of being seen in a bad light from others, which creates more layers of separation just by accepting this initial fear of what others think of me.

If I stopped existing within this fear, then I would have more focus and drive for whatever it is that the group is doing, but due to accepting and allowing the preoccupation of what comes with this fear of having others see me in a bad light, I go into thoughts of what others are thinking of me as I move within the physical, do others think that I am doing a good job, am I contributing enough for others to see me as a resource, and then the reactions of embarrassment or anxiety if I don't live up to this expectation as my physical will respond with starting to speed up within what I am doing based on the anxiety building within me now of the fear and expectation's not being met, and all this causing me to be unstable and uncertain within myself around others as I never actually have any indication of what is going on within others minds, so it's left up to my own imagination, and this is what the mind do best, create images in the mind to separate ourselves from our own physical body into consequence that is best for the mind to access energy not what is best for me as the life being within.

So it's like a silent 'killer' so to speak as it's causing me to be less then my fullest potential and sucking the life force out of me while it soaks in the energy I am producing within these fear activations. What would be my fullest potential is to be completely here in and as my breath in directive will in full awareness of all dimensions of all the life in this existence, this being able to be accomplished through living in absolute equality and oneness with all life, this is actually our true state of being, but has been lost due to the addiction to the mind as energy and within this has created the instability within the polarities we live from as in which the mind feed from within, both as the positive and negative. The positive always activating the negative as the negative always activate the positive, as these two will always balance out in one's world as they need each other to exist, such as love and fear, to have love in your life there has to be fear to realize what that love is, but within this it causes separation because the feared part is resisted based on who we are within it, denying it within us and allowing it to direct us, when the fear is us, we are creating it thus is our responsibility to correct it into alignment with equality and oneness, the true state of what life is.

This is to be corrected through the tools of self forgiveness and self commitment statements so one can realize for oneself it's not to separate ourselves from what is here as life into polarities, as we are in essence both polarities, the accepting one and resisting the other is what create the instability, so I am walking the point of accepting the fear as me and through the acceptance realizing that the fear of being seen as bad is not in fact real because it's not in fact physical, it's in my mind, thus I am able to stop it through existing here in the physical, living from the physical and directing the physical in common sense. Stopping the thoughts as fears and living within what is here, that all in the group are equal as life and there is no competition within us, we are all able to contribute and cooperate, and thus find the common ground within us and create supportive ways to do whats best for all. Stopping the mind as separation and get to the physical as what is real, fear is the mind as it's not physical, thus it needs to be stopped within the dimensions of the minds layers and corrected through my living in the physical, to prove to myself that I am being for real, this always through the guidance of writing.

A memory I will look at is when I was at the farm, being in fear of others seeing me in a bad light when it was found out that I didn't continue my vlogging as I had committed and being in fear that I will lose respect and people will see me as not committed to what my words.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge something that I have done or have had happen to me as bad and thus create a suppression around it based on fear of others finding out. I realize that when I create a suppression around a point I have judged I will go into this fear based on believing that I will be seen as bad for doing such an act or having something happen to me, which cause no solution within the point, but only accumulates energy and is stored as memories for me to limit myself from in my physical body because they are not being dealt with.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a judgment of an act I do or something that has been done to me as bad, I stop and breath, and do not allow the thoughts to continue as I realize this will limit me in my living and I see this as unbeneficial to and so I commit myself to when and as I go into judgment stop the thoughts and do self forgiveness to correct the point, and not allow it to have power over me, but direct it within the moment to a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a memory within me of fear of exposure due to living this within the time I wet the bed, and holding onto this memory for some time within me, hiding it, based on this fear of not wanting others to know, and thus becoming manipulative so others will not find out and stunt my expression as I am being deceptive within this. I realize that within this fear and suppression I am not allowing myself to release the point and find out the origin of what it’s about and why it occurred, but instead creating more layers as the mind as memories as these thoughts of being exposed, and thus cause abuse to myself through suppressing and not releasing the point to be corrected.

I commit myself to when and as I find I am going into a suppression about a point I fear others finding out about, I stop and breath, and commit myself to write the point out in private, to find out the origin of the fear and suppression, and thus come to a solution so it doesn’t have power over me any longer, such as stopping the judgment which is not real and standing within stability of who I am and finding out the solution to the wetting or why it’s occurring to be corrected, and get it dealt with so I am free of it and have it stop having power over me because it is understood within myself instead of just suppressed and feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being outcasted by others based on holding onto the belief that those who wet the bed are not normal, and thus create a judgment against those that wet the bed. I realize that holding onto this judgment is useless as it only hinders me, when I can get the point corrected, as obviously there is a point that is not working properly within me, and thus stopping this belief and getting the support I need to help my physical function properly.

I commit myself to when and as I go into beliefs about how people see things or think about things, I stop and breath, and find within the point through writing what is the common sense practical solution to what it is I am facing. Allowing for assistance and support when I realize something is not ok within my body, and stopping the beliefs when they arise from directing me. I commit to focus on fact and the physical and let go of beliefs and fears as these are illusions as they are of the mind, and are not supporting me to live to my fullest potential, so I commit to let go of the illusion as mind within thoughts, and focus and practice living from the physical until I am here.