A Lady's Journey to Life: Money Fears- Being Controlled

I am going to write on Money fears, one of my fears with money is being controlled within what I can spend my money on and what I can’t, basically having an outside party monitoring what I am doing with my money. Now that I am in an agreement with another, this money fear has come to a head and I have to walk the necessary introspection to find the solution that is here that will be best for both. I find within myself my desire is to avoid him being involved all together, and walk the money point separate. But within this, I see the divisiveness of this decision and the power structure and intimacy we can create with us walking as one unit together, walking principled and doing what is best for ourselves, and so what is best for all.

Separating things is a form of hiding as within this I don’t have to be accountable to another and so can continue to walk the same path I have been walking for my life which hasn’t led to financial stability in the way I would like, and so I see the value in walking money with another as two is stronger then one as the one plus one equation equaling two demonstrates. Within this partnership, I also am learning a whole new set of skills within money management walking with another as I have not yet considered some of the points he has and he will walk the same with me, so it’s mutually benefitting us in many different dimensions, which is what I would like for myself and so for us both. I see I can still be financially independent based on the structure of the agreement that is developed, meaning we can establish the points of what we both want in the agreement as well as being responsible and ensuring each of us is heard and considered, this decision doesn’t have to be based from fear and/or desire, but can be walked within self awareness and a commitment to find solutions that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be unaccountable within my spending so I can spend how I want with no ability to track what I buy and so create a point of secrecy within the agreement due to fear of being accountable for my actions and having to face another within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep a hidden record of what I buy so I only see it so I can not have to stay disciplined and so stay in self interest where I am only considering myself and my own needs and wants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having someone else be involved with my spending and money making because I don’t want to give up my freedom within doing what I want with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up control of the way in which I spend my money and so resist any idea of having another come into my financial situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me within who I am with another in finances instead of seeing the practical path of the two of us together and doing what is best for all to find where it is we shall walk this path as we are committed to each other and so committed to the path to ensure we have financial responsibility and understanding for us both to create a path to what will be best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based within my idea of independence of others, when I realize, see, and understand that there are other’s in my world who I need to consider and treat as an equal, and so I understand, see, and realize that I am not alone within myself and my world, and so need to walk the path that will support our agreement to find the best means of ensuring we are secure and so can walk the path’s necessary that we set out to do.

When and as I see I am going into a point of backchat to do my own thing and not create an agreement with my partner in terms of any point that is here to be discussed and sorted out, I stop and breath, and realize that this action of creating agreements is able to be walked within the principles of what is best for all through self will and self discipline as well as self trust to realize that what actions are needed can be walked by self and done within an a way that will support both as equals when the other is consider in this way and the information is looked at self honestly and within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the fear of control and see the common sense and practical path that needs to be walked to support an equality with another in agreements that are required to be made for the stability and well being of all involved.

I commit myself to breath and look within myself in self honesty before I speak to ensure I have understood why I speak and stop the reactions that will come automatically.

I commit myself to write out the patterns I see come up within reaction to ensure I face the point and sort it out in writing to give myself a guideline to change in the physical.

I commit myself to do what it takes to reprogram our money living together and so for myself that will support us both to stability and what is best.

I commit myself to treat my partner (all life) as myself and put myself in his shoes before I speak as we are one and equal here always.

Interview Support On Money and Relationships:

When Money Breaks Relationships - The Soul of Money
For Love and Money - The Soul of Money
Money Agreement: Step 1 - The Soul of Money
Sharing and Reactions - The Soul of Money
Give and Receive - The Soul of Money
Your Relationship and Money - The Soul of Money