Money Fears- Being Controlled – Day 426

I am going to write on Money fears, one of my fears with money is being controlled within what I can spend my money on and what I can’t, basically having an outside party monitoring what I am doing with my money. Now that I am in an agreement with another, this money fear has come to a head and I have to walk the necessary introspection to find the solution that is here that will be best for both. I find within myself my desire is to avoid him being involved all together, and walk the money point separate. But within this, I see the divisiveness of this decision and the power structure and intimacy we can create with us walking as one unit together, walking principled and doing what is best for ourselves, and so what is best for all.

Separating things is a form of hiding as within this I don’t have to be accountable to another and so can continue to walk the same path I have been walking for my life which hasn’t led to financial stability in the way I would like, and so I see the value in walking money with another as two is stronger then one as the one plus one equation equaling two demonstrates. Within this partnership, I also am learning a whole new set of skills within money management walking with another as I have not yet considered some of the points he has and he will walk the same with me, so it’s mutually benefitting us in many different dimensions, which is what I would like for myself and so for us both. I see I can still be financially independent based on the structure of the agreement that is developed, meaning we can establish the points of what we both want in the agreement as well as being responsible and ensuring each of us is heard and considered, this decision doesn’t have to be based from fear and/or desire, but can be walked within self awareness and a commitment to find solutions that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be unaccountable within my spending so I can spend how I want with no ability to track what I buy and so create a point of secrecy within the agreement due to fear of being accountable for my actions and having to face another within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep a hidden record of what I buy so I only see it so I can not have to stay disciplined and so stay in self interest where I am only considering myself and my own needs and wants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having someone else be involved with my spending and money making because I don’t want to give up my freedom within doing what I want with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up control of the way in which I spend my money and so resist any idea of having another come into my financial situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me within who I am with another in finances instead of seeing the practical path of the two of us together and doing what is best for all to find where it is we shall walk this path as we are committed to each other and so committed to the path to ensure we have financial responsibility and understanding for us both to create a path to what will be best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based within my idea of independence of others, when I realize, see, and understand that there are other’s in my world who I need to consider and treat as an equal, and so I understand, see, and realize that I am not alone within myself and my world, and so need to walk the path that will support our agreement to find the best means of ensuring we are secure and so can walk the path’s necessary that we set out to do.

When and as I see I am going into a point of backchat to do my own thing and not create an agreement with my partner in terms of any point that is here to be discussed and sorted out, I stop and breath, and realize that this action of creating agreements is able to be walked within the principles of what is best for all through self will and self discipline as well as self trust to realize that what actions are needed can be walked by self and done within an a way that will support both as equals when the other is consider in this way and the information is looked at self honestly and within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the fear of control and see the common sense and practical path that needs to be walked to support an equality with another in agreements that are required to be made for the stability and well being of all involved.

I commit myself to breath and look within myself in self honesty before I speak to ensure I have understood why I speak and stop the reactions that will come automatically.

I commit myself to write out the patterns I see come up within reaction to ensure I face the point and sort it out in writing to give myself a guideline to change in the physical.

I commit myself to do what it takes to reprogram our money living together and so for myself that will support us both to stability and what is best.

I commit myself to treat my partner (all life) as myself and put myself in his shoes before I speak as we are one and equal here always.

Interview Support On Money and Relationships:

When Money Breaks Relationships - The Soul of Money
For Love and Money - The Soul of Money
Money Agreement: Step 1 - The Soul of Money
Sharing and Reactions - The Soul of Money
Give and Receive - The Soul of Money
Your Relationship and Money - The Soul of Money

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Day 74- Being a Women

Looking at this point for myself where I have identified myself as a Women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to identify myself as a women and within this identification bring up a picture in my head of a picture of my mom whom I compare myself to as a women. I realize and see that to be a women is not to be a picture of a mother figure as that is not all that I am as a women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to identify the women in this world only by care taking and having children where they are needed to perform this task and thus need to dedicate their lives to raise kids and take care of the families. I realize and see that women in this world are not exclusively the care takers of the children and realize thus it takes a village to raise a child meaning that all beings within the vicinity of children and in children's day to day living should take responsibility to care and 'guide' the child equal and one to how I would have wanted to be cared and guided during that age and thus regardless of who bore the child it is all life's responsibility to take care of the young and guide them to life in equality and oneness with other life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself define women to only being in the house with the family while the male works to bring in the finances as if this is the only way of living here and thus I have accepted this as who we are as I allow it to continue to exist in this world. I realize and see within equality as principle of life within our system of living there can be created a more equilibrium between child bearing and not compromising the life of the women's expression nor the child's expression, where life will be supported in all facets of the child and women's life and thus the best opportunity for all to be free and also be cared for is sustainable in a system that treats life in equality. Within realizing this point it is for me as a human being to support all life here in ways where life in equality for all can be established by supporting all life in the process of walking and implementing an equal money system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within defining myself as a women within an idea in my head of what I shall expect myself as a women in this world to be seen as someone who needs to take care of children and be the keeper of the house while a man takes care of all the finances leaving the women in a trap of dependency on a male when this can be taken advantage of and abused by the male. I realize and see that giving the man the power to have all access to finances is not standing equal within the partnership as the children should not be wholey based on the female raising the child but should be done in equality within both parents, and thus within this both stand within bringing finances into the house and taking care of the children until equality is reached as otherwise the financial point can cause abuse for many beings and thus cause the female to be abused in many ways sexually, verbally, and physically.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within defining myself as a female have an idea that I can use this point of being female as a way to getting out of having to stand equal and one to the male and thus become the submissive, fragile point within the partnership where I can use childbearing as an excuse not to push myself within my expression and submit to the life of a taking care of the kids and thus live off of the mans earnings. I realize and see within giving my power away in this instance where I do it willingly as I am not willing to stand equal to the man in this world system in walking the point to stand in all having opportunity for equal expression, thus I will have to stop submitting to the easy way out 'so to speak' and stand equal to the male as the male will stand equal to the female in raising children.

I commit myself to create myself within a way in my partnerships where I am an equal participant and don't use any point to take advantage were I desire to have an easier time or allow myself to be abused, but walk one and equal with the man in whatever I desire in my expression but not submitting to the mind as only ideas of only being a mother or a housewife as labels that this is all I can be once I get married and have a child.

I commit myself to stop the abuse within myself as my partnership where I stand equal and one to making the finances work within the relationship where I share the responsibilities as I also walk with my partner to help share the responsibilities of the care and guidance of the children and stop the roles of 'mothers do this' and 'fathers do that', but I walk as equals with all in in all parts of my world.

I commit to creating a equal money system so thus all can stand equal in fact in all areas of life, where all are able and have the freedom to walk in equilibrium with all within their world, and no restrictions are here in terms of money strain or lack of education, but all stand and walk the path to become equal and one with all life in this world which the equal money system will facilitate and guarantee if all will themselves to see and live the truth of the principles of this system which is living equal and one to all life as self.



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