Moving Beyond Limitations – Self Forgiveness on an Embarrassing Moment – Day 434

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Here writing from my last blog about the moment of physical reaction coming up when speaking to people about the product I am selling, and my face becoming red as if I am uncomfortable within myself and this a sign for all to see.

Excerpt from my last blog:

 "I became emotional when I interpreted a person saying something negatively about me to my partner, and that I was then going to be judged by this person as not worthy. So from this moment on, I was in reaction, it was towards the end of the day, though I still had one other moment that I am going to write self forgiveness on and practical corrective application. This was a few moments after I reacted, another vendor came over and I was put on the spot to discuss what our product was about. I was not ready for this because within myself I was trying to get stable after taking that moment before personally."

Here I will start with slowing that moment down when I started to notice my face was going red. I remember speaking and within my mind going into an experience of discomfort and an emotional experience of wanting to give up and feeling alone, like I can never get close to anyone because they will just judge me and see and/or say that I am not good enough. So based on this interpretation me believing I was told by this man I was not a good sales person and allowing this to effect my future interactions, not considering all the factors that were involved within this moment, I then brought this reaction and belief through to the next moment with the vendor asking me about what our product was about causing the interaction not to be my best effort, but tainted with reactions and blame.

These reactions are showing my own self judgment's being projected onto the external reality. Tall tale signs of me wanting to escape facing myself and who I have become in these moments of high energy reactions and the actions that it'll take to change in these moments, which is the road less traveled so to speak as it's not an easy path and something that I resist. But I realize without a doubt that it is absolutely worth it, for more on this I will write in later blogs, but here I will walk self forgiveness on this moments with the cheeks and points that were involved with this. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the belief I have created about myself that others are trying to put me down and harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this belief I have of myself as not being good enough onto others within a state of self victimization where I believe I am powerless to others and there effects on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself and project this inherent blame of the way in which I am experiencing myself as the victim and powerless onto others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto others within my world and in my reality based on me holding onto a belief that others are trying to harm me and abuse me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within myself of me being powerless to others based on the energy experience I have accepted within me of feeling inferior and diminished around others because of something they said or did in my presence that I took as a personal attack or abuse towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility within not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am the creator of this experience of inferiority and diminishment within me due to judging myself within myself in ways of seeing myself as not doing well within this event and comparing myself to other people around me, and so then believe within me that that is what everyone else is doing and saying about me in their minds and also in my perception I have defined within there actions towards me within their gestures and even words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take other peoples words, gestures, or ideas, beliefs, imaginations within my own mind personal and believe that this is who I am when I see, realize, and understand and have proven to myself that when I move as breath here and align with my body and act, I am able to perform in a manner that I am satisfied with and that is aligned with my expression, and so I see, realize, and understand that I have a decision to make in these moments to either go into a point of diminishment experience of things that are not based on fact and reality, and so can not be trusted or walk what is here, what is stable, what I can trust, myself in action here as I breath, aligned with the physical and who I am here in the moment of speaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad in the moment of believing I was being judged and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgments and comparison of myself as not good enough onto another person and then accept that I am being held down and abused, when I see, realize, and understand that I am doing this to myself, I am abusing myself in my own mind, and not changing in those moments to what is stable, what supports me as life and my expression, and what creates me as life and that is through my living here in the moment as I speakand stopping my participation in these thoughts, energy experiences, and my mind within memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment of judgment towards myself in my mind as doing bad when explaining the product to the vendor and thinking he must see me really being pathetic within trying to explain this, and so react within a physical moment of embarrassment accepting and allowing this moment to define me as a point of proof that I am bad through defining and judging myself as not doing good cause my face went red.

I forgive  myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for going red in the face when I speak and react, and believe I am less then the other person talking because of me being uncomfortable visibly in front of them and going red, when I realize, see, and understand this is not in fact real, I am making this up, and it does not benefit me in anyway, so I realize I can change in that moment, let the mind go and the beliefs and judgments, and move myself beyond that limitation into immediate correction which is here within myself in awareness in what direction I will walk next as I speak in my expression in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto that memory of me being seen in the moment of going red in the face and visible being uncomfortable as a reminder that I am less then others and go into that sinking feeling of powerlessness when I remember the moment I go red and what that feeling felt like, when I realize, see, and understand that it is not defining me here, it is an occurrence that I can learn from and realize how to correct the point, but I also realize, see, and understand that it’s just an energy experience of powerlessness, I am not this actually, I can move myself in each moment and change myself in what direction I will to what makes sense in the moment and what will benefit all and so myself, walking common sense and real time application within breathing, correcting, and living.

I will continue with the self correction writing and re-defining some relevant words within these current blogs I am doing, thanks for reading and stay tuned.

Interview Support on the topic of moving through Embarrassment:
Embarrassment: Embarrassment and Personalities - Atlanteans - Part 106
Embarrassment: Is it Really so Bad? - Atlanteans - Part 107
Embarrassment: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans – Part 108

Check Out these Awesome sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Moving Beyond Limitations – Moving through Embarrassment – Day 433

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I am continuing with the work event that I had gone to last week, where I was faced with a challenge of moving through my limitations of speaking to strangers about promoting my product I am selling for the population. Now within myself, again I am resistant to speaking to strangers, I have been shy most of my life, and more then not have detracted myself from any real point of interaction and having to speak to new people. This is more based on the energy that comes up within me when I am facing people and speaking, especially in this setting where I have to initiate conversation and direct it to an end goal. One of the more frightful energies that comes up is the embarrassment energy, this one was one I experienced throughout my life and when it came to speaking, I really didn’t like putting myself in that position where possibly I could miss my words, not know what to say, or fall completely and have to experience the emotional experience of embarrassment energy.

Within one of the interaction at this event, I was put in this exact position, which for my mind was like “ah shit no, I don’t want to do this”, but for self here walking process and moving through these points of challenge, I am saying to myself bring it on. So I accepted the challenge and put myself out there. I was new to this sort of business of selling as well as new to face to face direct sales using certain sales tactics to get the person in a short period of time to see the value of our product. I was uncomfortable doing this because I have not yet done this sort of way of communication very often, and only had a few other events I have gone to before this, so I am still learning and uncertain on how it'll go next.

From my last blog, I discussed about how I became emotional when I interpreted a person saying something negatively about me to my partner, and that I was then going to be judged by this person as not worthy. So from this moment on, I was in reaction, it was towards the end of the day, though I still had one other moment that I am going to write self forgiveness on and practical corrective application. This was a few moments after I reacted, another vendor came over and I was put on the spot to discuss what our product was about. I was not ready for this because within myself I was trying to get stable after taking that moment before personally.

I started speaking and in my mind I was judging myself as bad, and this person is probably seeing me as terrible, and I am going to do horribly within this business, and then while speaking to this man, I reacted physically with my face turning bright red. I could feel my face heat up and the color change from stable to red, and I then started flubbing up my words and just trying to stay afloat within the conversation. I eventually got through it, and after I stabilized had a look at what caused such a reaction of specifically my face going red, and how can I change this to prevent it next time to be stable with all the walks of life in the future I will meet and definitely communicate with.

I will continue in my next blog, thanks for reading.

Interview Support on the topic of moving through Embarrassment:
Embarrassment: Embarrassment and Personalities - Atlanteans - Part 106

Embarrassment: Is it Really so Bad? - Atlanteans - Part 107
Embarrassment: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans – Part 108

Check Out these Awesome sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Living Self Courage - Moving through Resistances – Day 429

Yesterday I had a work event where I had to face my fears and move through resistances that were intense and very familiar. This initially started in the morning before I was set to go to the event, when I am getting ready, I would look in the mirror and see within myself that I am not looking good enough. I will then start to participate in thoughts and feelings of anxiety and dread about the day where I am going to be feeling ‘ugly’ the whole day. Now this feeling is something I have been living with for a long time, this coming from many times and patterned behaviors from the past where I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and in my mind analyze myself in comparison to others in why I am worse or better.

So going to this event all the same patterns started to emerge, where I was dreading walking out the door because within me I had already failed, I was already seeing myself as a failure based on not being able to compete and live up to this illusion of an expectation I have been creating in my mind that I have to look perfect to then be able to present myself as perfect, though this perfection doesn’t in fact exist. There is no one on the planet that is able to live up to the expectation I have morphed and changed and sculpted within my mind to be this perfect picture, it simply is illusionary and absolutely insane that I am allowing this point to have so much power over me. I realize though through support form eqafe that the mind is using these moments where I give in and give up within myself to take over and keep generating these thoughts and emotions for me to believe this is real, this is who I am so the mind within my physical body can generate energy and continue existing as it does in full control.

Though, thankfully I have supportive partner who helped me walk through the door and get me to the event where we needed to be at that moment. I again at the booth started to see these thoughts and the feelings were coming up of dread and feeling like I am a failure, but again I kept getting supportive words from those around me and this helped. I then saw this fear and I was looking at it and within me seeing that it is so strong and so big, I don’t know how I am going to be able to walk and do this, and stop participating in these thoughts and feelings. Though the only way to my freedom from these feelings and thoughts continuing to haunt me is for me to in real time stop them, breath, forgive myself, and stand within myself as a life force able and willing to move beyond my fears, and live self courage.

This the courage and living of never giving up or giving into to these thoughts and feelings of diminishment no matter what I face is an act of perseverance to push through and make this world a better place. So as life is here always to be faced as self, I then got put into the situation that I was fearing where I had to speak to the people walking by because there was no one else who could. So I started speaking. And again I started speaking, and then again, and by the fourth or fifth time I was feeling like my ‘normal’ self again, I found my words and I was actually pretty surprised at my ability to speak to others and find ways to explain the product in the moment.

My point to the blog is that in order to move through our fears and our beliefs about ourselves of self compromise like I have with this fear of people and believing I am not good enough for this, I realized that this resistance has to be walked through, the fears have to be walked through and faced in the moment, and I have to change in the moment, I have to move myself to change this belief about myself and prove that I can become more. Otherwise there is no other way to the success I want for myself in selling my product or the success to making the world a better place. I have to face these things and within this the gift had emerged where I was able to see my potential in action in real time as I shared myself and moved myself to support my business in the opportunities presented and I created to do so. I also am grateful for these people in my life who support me when I need it and are there for me when I am not there for myself.

Self forgiveness to come as I will walk more in the next blog on this point of letting go of fear and walking through resistances. Thanks.

If you want to support yourself and this world to be a better place,

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
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Interview Support:

You Will Never Let Go - Quantum Mind Self Awareness
Can't Let Go: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 229
Can't Let Go: Transform Your Memories - Atlanteans - Part 230
Can't Let Go: Giving Up - Atlanteans - Part 231

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Correcting Embarrassing Actions and Living - Part 1 - Day 356

Recently I was at a fair where I had to interact with people I had never met before and be assertive within myself to get them to hear and pay attention to what I had to say, so it’s a point of selling myself to sell a product. I was in a situation where I was ‘on the spot’ so to speak with an older gentleman, and he asked me to give him an example of what I was showing him. The example that first popped in my mind, I said, but it did not want to come out properly, so I ended up stuttering my words. He then looked at me and said ok, and kind of brushed me aside and walked away. Within myself, man I was feeling like I had screwed that up and was quite embarrassed I had flubbed up like I did.

I did not take into consideration however, that this was the second time I was doing this type of approach and obviously I was not going to be perfect right off the bat, I have to gain experience to specify and remediate my application and so mistakes are to be expected. Though, within myself I took this personal and felt embarrassed and judged myself for this screw up, instead of accepting the mistake I made and changing myself within it, I suppressed my the emotions and kept saying within myself I am fine, I am ok, let me just move on. But all the while having this event effect me not only mentally but on a physical level with feeling shakened up a bit and flushed. So here I will walk as many dimensions as I am able to in relation to this incident in the next blogs to come to support others as well as myself in correcting this experience of embarrassment I am sure we all can relate to. This first dimension I will walk will be on not seeing reality for what it is, a process of mistakes, adjustments, and living the correction to become perfected in any given task or skill one takes on. Thanks for walking with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when i make a mistake or reality does not line up into a perfect outcome or a normal outcome and something happens out of the ordinary, i then feel that i am at a lose and something has changed within me for the worse.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by my environment and what happens within it instead of being in the moment and seeing reality for what it is and so support myself in reality by living with and as the environment and doing what is best in common sense and in this case it would be to correct myself when I make a mistake and move on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself in reality for real because i am in an emotion of embarrassment when my environment doesn’t turn out how i expected it to and believe that i am at a lose in some way.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by emotions such as embarrassment within moments where my reality doesn’t match up to how i expected and i am doing something within a wrong calculation and so feel like i have done something bad.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to for instance in the moment where i screwed up my word within speaking to the old guy about tt that i was inferior because i made a mistake and he did not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for making a mistake or mishap within what i am doing where my reality didn’t go the way my idea of reality was suppose to go and so see me as the problem.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself in my reality not accept and allow myself to make mistakes and mess up in front of others as this is inevitable within living in this physical existence.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that making mistakes and mishaps in a way of self honest application, that this is the only way to learn and so correct myself as i see that the mistakes are showing where i still need work.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to the guy based on believing that because i messed up he was going to think that i am stupid and a joke.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the other guy thought i was stupid and a joke because i messed up in the word i was trying to say when in reality i don’t know what he is thinking and so should focus on myself and who i am in the moment as that is what is real, me within myself and who i am as a living being in each moment and what i do to correct that which i see is not aligned to what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the fact that i am the one judging myself in my own mind as stupid and a joke for messing up a word and so condemning myself to feel embarrassment as i have accepted this to be who i am, an embarrassment, when in reality i realized i didn’t know the word properly and so it’s showing that i need more practice, which i did and corrected after the incident occurred.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an embarrassment because i have judged my actions in the moment of messing up my word and so caring what the other man thought of me, and so i forgive myself that i have continued to accept and allow myself to define who i am by others and my own mind as projections of what others think of me, rather than stopping, breathing, slowing down and living through the physical as who i am in my words and actions in common sense in each moment as i walk and live and correct that which needs realignment to what is best.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thoughts that i have of me being an embarrassment and a joke, rather than breathing, correcting myself in the moment, and so walking the practical steps to learn the word in what it takes and so stop the act of self compromise.

When and as i see that i go into a point of judging myself for making a mistake in fear of others thoughts of me, i stop and breath, and realize this is the physical process of learning new things in reality and this process is showing me where i need to look into more to learn and that i am not defined by the external reality, but i define me within who i am in each moment of breath within my living.

I commit myself to stop judging myself when i make a mistake or mishap in reality.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by the actions in the past and so breath here and express myself in each moment.

I commit myself to walk the process of correction and also making mistakes so i can learn and change myself to perfect myself through this learning process of making mistakes.

I commit myself to stand with others in self stability and so walk with rather than in fear of them, I have the ability to move myself in common sense, and so I commit to walk this way of common sense living rather than fear based living.

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