Osho Card Support - Ending the Cycle of Self Abuse through Doing it - Day 425

Tonight I did an osho card reading, and the overall point I took from it was that at this time I have the potential to transcend my sorrow from my past, the suffering I have created in my life, and in this here moment expand my creation process through principles into something not only better for myself, but better for the whole of this world. I obviously see the correlation as within Desteni this is our primary focus, changing ourselves from within to what is best for all to then be able to change the outer in the best way possible as we have proven to ourselves through actually living it. I often times think about how much of my life is a struggle and how much of what I struggle with feels overwhelming and out of my reach to handle. But within this I am not in fact actually facing the real problem or pushing myself enough in each moment to do what is necessary to stop the struggle and overwhelmingness because as I realize I am creating this myself and so I have to then create the solution through my own will, there is nothing or no one else that can do this for me, I have realized this, if I don't move, my process does not move and so becomes stagnant.

A lot of the times, I am not so stable within my application because I am still accepting and allowing my back chat which is the nasty speaking of myself in the back of my mind to control and have power over me, and so diminish my effectiveness in who I can really be in this life. I can easily brush aside my need for particpation and become distracted with a whole area of things that we have created to distract ourselves with in this reality. But within dismissing and distracting myself from these backchat dimensions, I am missing the opportunity within this life to create myself new, to change myself, and let go of that which is not supporting me. To substantiate myself and so my life I have to create this for myself, there is no one else but me within this physical body and I as all have equally the ability to change our patterns that are not working for what is best for all and create solutions to then so create life.

I am focusing currently on one point and this is whenever within my mind I am hearing or seeing an experience come up of judging myself in any way, I immediately breath and stop it in awareness deliberately, and move myself within the physical in full participation meaning completely aware of directing myself to stop. I am pushing this until I am satisfied that I have proven to myself that I can stop in a moment through my own directive will. I have accepted and allowed myself to get discouraged or get overwhelmed and fall into energy in the past, and so stop my active participation in my process to really substantiate myself in the decision I have made to stop my self judgment character and become aware of my actions in the physical. Theses are cyclical points that I see I am falling into at the critical moments, so I am dedicating myself here to continue walking this process of stopping and changing in the here moment, and creating myself to be self directive by walking this process creation of myself step by step and breath by breath until it is done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up in the difficult moments within walking a point of stopping my mind participation such as stopping my backchat and so I realize that substantiating myself in the decision I live that is aligned with life and living this decision into the physical is how to get this done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the mind in what it is bringing up about me such as that I am less then others or greater then, and so give up in the moments where the energy becomes intense and I am feeling overwhelmed, I realize that this is the critical creation point of myself in moving beyond the mind limitation and self enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move through the resistances to continue and push myself in this process, and so I see that within this not pushing I have diminished my potential that is here in each moment, and I realize to re-substantiate this again I have to stand and push myself when I want to give up or give in, otherwise i will continue to exist as the mind cause i am not changing myself in this critical moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have what it takes to move beyond my limitations and it’s just too much, when I realize, see, and understand that this process is able to be walked within a breath by breath living, no past no future, just here directing in the moment and moving myself in a process of substantiations through my living participation and building self awareness.

When and as I see I am going into a point of wanting to fall or give in to the experiences within myself, I stop and breath, and realize that these moments of extreme experiences are the crucial moments to move through and substantiate myself within because I realize I am reaching the limits to my mind consciousness system and to move beyond that will be a push because I have to create it and it's also unknown, but moving beyond limitation and the unknown resistances is who I decide to be.

I commit myself to stop my backchat in each moment I see it come up within myself through breath and physical self awareness participation of stopping.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for who I have become and what I have created, let that go, and create from a point of awareness here within an expression of equality and oneness that life is here and we only have to create it within ourselves in who we are to live it.

I commit myself to live the correction within the moments that are here to be walked by moving through resistances and facing and transcending my fears by living them and changing myself within them to understand the point and so create a new reality in self direction.


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How to Live Patience - Day 338

So I have written about patience in the past, and found it throughout my process of changing myself to be able to live what is best for all in all moments has steadily become a point I can support myself with. I would like to be more steadfast within it and more disciplined, but that will come with time and actually living it, so I am not yet satisfied nor at a point where I can say I am living patiences. 

I am going to place the word definition here to look at what the word means in this world:

Patience  - the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Interesting because I have been looking at anger today as I see this is a main trigger point within me when I go into reaction or conflict with another. It's quite cool though because through practicing patiences within my process and becoming more disciplined within stopping going into thought patterns or reactions, I have been able to see more clearly when I go into anger for instance, it's like an elephant in the room so to speak, it's quite obvious. And I find I still once I react in anger and release it through my words and actions, I go into a point of disappointment within myself like i should have known better and I should have stopped. But here it's important for me to remember that this point of judging myself is only causing a point of inner conflict and so will take longer to move through the point which will inevitable have to be transcended, and so it's quite pointless to keep judging myself for something that happened, and so just move through it and correct it. 

Anyway back to this relationship of anger and patiences, patiences I have found is a stability point for me when the reality is showing me that it garners it, and the mind reaction to this reality has always usually been a point of anger and annoyance as blame and assumption toward whatever it is that was not whatever I approved of or desired to happen or get. So I have found patiences is an application of life, of equality, of unity with others, as you are putting yourself in the others shoes and thus ensuring that the other is or will eventually become equal to you in whatever it is that you are looking at or sharing that the other has to walk a process to learn and/or integrate within themselves. 

But of course within this, one need to be self honest as self honesty is the key, because patiences by itself is not the key to living one and equal with life and all it's gifts, no, it is determined and lived out based on who the being is within the application of living patiently. So it all again goes to who you are, what you are living in each moment, and how you are applying yourself within what is happening in reality. For instance, one can be patient, but do it in a point of harm like in war or conflict, and so it's not simply to be patient in your living that matters, but what matters is who one is within the living patiently, it all is determined by self. 

Another point that just occurred to me with being patient is the desire or need the mind creates within self to move quick, the mind as we can see is always moving very fast, we are thinking in the future one second, then we are in the past the next, then we are thinking about the burn on our leg that is beginning to become irritated with the sweat from the heat, and then we look into the crowds and we are judging another for the way they dressed so 'abnormally' that day, then back in the future to the party that's scheduled for tonight, then over to next friday where I have to work a double shift, then back to the present where that bill is overdue and a fear is immediately created and I accept as me, so we are moving and actually really zooming through our minds in all sorts of direction and all sorts of dimensions creating feelings/emotions and really energy movements, and thus we are constantly wanting to move quick and go fast through our day/life, never being able to sit still, be here, and just simply breath with nothing moving within, it seems impossible.

But life, such as the natural world as we see lives patiently, slowly, a plant growing from a seed to a mature tree/flower/bush takes a significant period of space and time, our physical bodies take a significant time to grow from a baby body to a mature adult body, it doesn't happen at the speed of a thought which is quite unnatural as it's movement is so quick, but a tree growing or our physical bodies growing is all real, is all natural, is all physical, and so it takes space and time, and patiences to see it to maturity. 

So this is a cool analogy to realize that what is real, what is natural, what is physically applicable requires patiences, we require patience to live here in the physical and become the life we really are, this taking a process of self purification to really in fact live and become. We have to slow ourselves down and walk the process back to the physical, back to breath awareness, walking one breath at a time, breath by breath, stable, which indeed will require patience to see through to it's completion. This I am currently walking, and this application of slowing down I see has absolutely supported me to walk the change that I have walked so far and I know will support me to walk the rest of the points that are required to be life here as the physical.

Life I have realized is patient through supporting unconditionally within what has to be done no matter how long it will take, and allows adaption and correction when the principles are not being lived in what is best for all, but there is an end point realize, it will not continue as is so don't haste, we must remain self honest and walk the change as is necessary and required. So I will continue to apply patiences with myself until I am satisfied that I live this word as myself. Patiences redefined in it's living expression is a slowing down of self to align with breath in what is here and walk what is necessary in ensuring what is best for all until it is a reality. 

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