Shame - Part 2 - Living this as A Gateway to our Best Self - Day 595

The Awareness of the Eagle through the Portal at Eqafe

Continuation of Day 594 -
Shame - Part 1 - Living this as a statement of self correction through self forgiveness - Day 594

Through the experience of shame, this shame is when one do something in one's life that creates an outflow in one's behavior that cause harm and abuse in some way, and is in one's face, eventually when we do not in fact take self responsibility for our actions, these points of self compromise and regrettable actions will be lived out. We don't often consider or become aware of our shameful acts, I know before I was walking the desteni i process, I would not very much take note of the times where I did something to cause harm to another. And when I did, all i wanted to do was escape the event or the people and move onto something that made me feel good inside myself, though the shameful occurrence is a truth now and did in fact happen, this fact can't be denied forever. 

So it's not going to go away, it can be suppressed and buried within, but doesn't ever go away and thus will in turn happen again through time because I did not learn from the last event and I didn't do anything to change the outcome to be something different. Thus in this terrible game I play with myself, i not only weaken and harm my own self integrity and self core as a Living being among all other life and life forms that reside among me, I harm and weaken others around, which creates rippled outflows from beings they will touch and integrate with, and thus exponential abuse is created by my one single action to abdicate responsibility and live out my self irresponsibility to change who I am to be able to stand the outflow of what is best for all, thus why not just face the shame and change myself to be a better human being here now, what better opportunity then the one's life gifts to us as our self experiences day in and day out, breathe by breathe. 

At last, until I finally realized the power of self forgiveness and self will in the corrections of myself that is best for all in my self commitments statements, I did not realize the full and total impact my actions not only have on my mental, spiritual, and physical well being, but every other living thing I touch, which in fact is everything, cause self is one and equal to the physical and thus life itself within to the without. Shame I have found to see my false face and find the grace I was equally given by life itself, to give it another chance to see a better way and for me to take that opportunity and create something more and better for myself and so every being I will touch from that moment forward. So we have extraordinary impact in this life, for better or worse, this always defined and refined by self, and I highly suggest the desteni i process tools to work through who we are as shame and the outflows this creates. 

This the kind of commitment I found was required to walk through my shameful acts and really self investigate who I am within myself to in fact give myself the ability to change in the next moments it could occur again. A never giving up on self's ability to learn and change and a point of self willingness to push into unknown territory and suffering in ways, this when one finally face the shame of self and build up the self empowerment of proven living change to do better for oneself and others, you become a being who is not moved, can move self and direct self into eternal life by living and creating for oneself life to others as how you would want it best for yourself.

Also, a willingness to push oneself always beyond what one thought possible, this I found doesn't have to be an extreme type experience, but to in the moments that open up in your day to day life when you face a challenge, to walk through the fear and face the challenge....and build on this each and every day, to each and every moment it opens up in your world. I am not saying this is all you do all day long, no, just be aware of yourself in your day to day moments and start learning how you operate, the mechanics of self. So working with the moments that bring me shame and I started to become aware of these moments by actively taking self responsibility, I found the point of building oneself up over time, slow but sure, with consistency is the most efficient and effective way to just get it done. It's a slow process, but highly interactive and fascinating, and this i found the gift in living the word shame. 

Shame I have redefined as being ashamed - a- sham (false) - e (expression), so it's a false face I am putting on within myself to mask the real evil (= live in reverse) of who I am being and how I am living in moments with myself and so into moments with others in my actual physical everyday moments. Most of the abuse is in specific personality types I have accepted and allowed to live out, such as self inferiority, self righteousness, ego patterns, and much more, though it was patterned and over time I learned my self abusive patterns through the tools and practice daily of listening to eqafe.com, applying self forgiveness in writing and out loud, and commitment statements for myself through learning from writing each forgiveness statements I made. This so the next time I face this shame and stopping the compounding of abuse, I had a directive in my awareness that I spoke or wrote and was able to redirect my living into a way forward that is best for myself and so best for all I meet. So the shift happens in awareness from the mind disturbances to what and how can I change my physical living to be more efficient in my living mechanics of myself, the way I operate, and how my thoughts, words, and actions has a rippled exponential effect for better or worse. 

And I repeated this over and over until I was satisfied with my self honesty within myself in the process point I was practicing changing. I followed my gut and now recognize this as my self core, self honesty, inner voice, sanctuary that I have created within myself. This inner guide and self honesty support with how to move in my reality, what is best to do, how best can I support live, and where can i make a difference to be a better me, more efficient, more impactful is key to self creation i have found in a way that benefit all. 

The sky of life is the limit as far as I am concerned, and within the limits of life principle in what is best for all, certainly heaven on earth can be created by correcting the inner mechanics of self into the outer by common sense self sustainability in taking self responsibility for one's actions. Being ashamed is difficult yes, but I see it as a gift to my highest potential as motivation to move from what I know to be not who I really am into the being that I know i can be, the best of myself as I give myself to others the best I am able to and living this until its proven in the physical. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

Check out the weekly chats on destonian.com, they can be every day with the portal, or Monday, Fridays, and Saturday's for sure at 9pm SA time.
Looking forward to meeting you there.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Eqafe Hangout: Atlanteans - The First Encounter with Anu - Day 541

My Guest: Marlen Vargas Del Razo


"In this Twenty-first interview, the Atlantean-female shares the First Moment/First Contact with Anu’s Presence within Atlantis and how the Atlanteans experienced that first moment of contact with Anu’s presence, as well as sharing why and how the Atlanteans were not Aware of what Anu was in the process of doing as Enslaving existence and only became aware of it when it was too late…"

https://eqafe.com/p/atlanteans-the-first-encounter-with-anu-part-21

In this live hangout event, Marlen and I will be discussing the above interview from Eqafe.com. We will discuss our history, the races that existed before humans and earth existed, and yes you read that right, we will be discussing pre-human existence as it was in the interdimensional existence of this universe. Who was Anu, and how we did he become God of this world/existence.

Also, our personal realizations within this recording through different understandings that came through, we are much more then we ever thought possible, this a discussion and glimpse to what is really here as ourselves.

This all for the creation and building of human beings becoming stewards of the earth, where we create a world that gives dignity and decency to all life through our self responsibility to stand as solutions and do what is best for all.

Links to Check Out Mentioned In Hangout:
A Chat with Sunette Spies: The Interdimensional Portal from Eqafe

Eqafe Site
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Why Am I Continuing to Fall – Day 498

Recently a point came up about an addiction that I have been transcending and within it I fell. What I realized within this fall was how I up until the point of actually doing the action that caused me to fall I was in a point of ignorance, like ‘I know I shouldn’t be doing this, I know there will be consequences for doing this action, I know I will be harming others if I do this”, though I still did it, even though I realized that it is not best for all. So after this event happened I listened to the new kryon interview – Rest and the Physical - Kryon: My Existential History, where he spoke about sleep and how the body does not need rest. How we within our physical bodies could live significantly longer then we are currently living. How we are in fact devolving each decade, each year, each day, each breath, and when he finished discussing this point I reflected on myself, and saw that very day I decided to go into ignorance and fulfill my mind desire, my need, my instant gratification, rather then stopping myself in principles that I have committed to live in what is best for all.

So my blog today is about what is it within my decision to fall even though I know it’ll be self compromising, why I did it anyway. What I found initally was a spitefulness, that because of my life circumstances I am afraid to take on inevitably the horror that I as a being have particpated within. The act of not living my highest potential is a measure in reality that is created, now because of spite and ignorance, I am accepting and allowing myself to give up and give in to challanges that arise and so compromise my self standing. I have committed myself to stand always despite falls, set backs, miss-takes, and abdication of my responsibility, I will stand up again and move myself to the inevitable correction to align myself with what is best for all.

So within this fall, there are two basic options I can walk and we all can walk for that matter, in a day, in our lives, is to stay in the fall experience of self pity, self anger, resentment, and blame or we can take self responsibility, learn from the fall, and use what I learned to change myself to be better equipped for the next time to stand, to stop the self compromise, to stop the projection and blame onto the outer reality, and to realize that everything that is in fact happening in MY life is MY creation.

This is one of the realization that came up for me within this point, is that I am the creator of my life, I decide whether I fall on a point or whether I stand within it and move into the correction to live what is best for all. There is no one outside of myself that is able to walk this decision and action, there is support yes, though in this journey of birthing life from the physical I am alone in this decision. I decided for myself who I will be and so within this I am the creator of my eventual desteni that’ll play out. What I walk in this life, each and every moment will accumulate to the final point of either death or birthing into life. This is the reality of each one in this life and the more that is given the more responsibility one takes on.

So from this fall, I take it as an opportunity to learn and understand where I stand within myself. How within this learning opportunity I need to change and move into a position where I can stand through the programs of the mind that played out for me to eventually fall on my commitments. Walking moment to moment I found, this journey is more manageable, to in each moment walk what is best for all this through breath awareness, this is also a process to get to this point, though in breath, here in our physical bodies, is where this life is able to be lived/walked in what is best. So a goal set forth to focus on or live is instead of having too much to consider in many moments as I decide to act on something, bring those many moments down to the small, walking and living moment to moment walking what is best in each moment that is here. (I will also write blogs on redefining the word here, moment to moment, breath, so it’s more clear on how to live this in physical reality)

This is what I found most important is to realize that I am responsible for not only myself, but for all here, I am walking for those who are not able to, for those who are starving, for those who are hurt and abused, for those who are silenced due to oppression, for those who have no voice, and also for those who are so lost in there minds that they can not see what is best for all. We, each and everyone of us, are walking a process of living what is best for all, this process though I have realized is determined and defined by self, and as was mentioned in Kryon’s interview today, there is a time stamp, life itself is showing within the aging process that we are devolving, we are not living and aligning with life, and so we are in essence dying which is obviously life extinguished. Life never dies to be clear, though the mind does, the mind is energy and this energy is based from the physical substance of the physical body, it’s parasitic in nature and so it eats the physical body until we die and the physical substance as our body repels the mind, the mind ceases to exist and physical substance goes back to it’s source, the earth, dust to dust. There have been hundreds of interviews on the life processes of human beings and what happens at death, here is a series specifically on this, the life reviews of those who die and processes that happen at death.

What I have realized within this fall for myself is that within my every day life, I have to live the words assertive, self trust, self honesty, and self creation to be able to in the moments I want to give into the justification, excuses, breaks, and really bullshit to live these words and push through my resistances and that I have to in real time move myself physically in these moments. These little moments of thoughts such as ‘it’s ok if I just indulge for one day’, ‘it’s ok if I take a break for one hour’, ‘it’s ok if I judge and ridicule in my mind for this one time cause it’s not that big of a deal, they can’t see, no one can see but me’, though these little moments eventually accumulate into physical action where I go into a decision in the physical to compromise myself, my commitments that I have made, and so compromise the whole process of birthing life from the physical. If I did act in a way that is best for all in that moment, I would not have wasted this time now of two days where I could be walking in ways that is best.

So there is purpose to falls they are neither good nor bad, but a opportunity to show you to you and how you have created yourself, what within this fall I have just lived, where I need to stand more, where I need to assert my directive will more, what I need to change and push within my skill set to be able to counteract my desire to resist, it is a learning experience if I walk it into a completion. Falls in process require self honesty, this is an act of self will and who one is within this process of a fall. This is all up to me, though the seriousness of what I am walking I am realizing more and more, we are not just walking this for ourselves, we are walking the process of birthing life from the physical for all beings that are here living, this is the desteni of this earth, I decide who I am and this effects the all cause we are all interconnected, everything is one and equal here in this physical reality.

I will continue with self forgiveness and self commitments in my next blog to further move into the correction process that is needed to stand within moments of self compromise.

Thank you for reading. 

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site 

Impatiences: Enough is Enough, Steps to Change - Day 464

When I first wake up in the morning, this is a exceptional time to direct myself within the day I will live moving forward, I tend to go into my mind in these times and judge myself, especially when I am in the mirror getting ready. I find this will then lead into my day where I will go into my mind and create scenarios about others and how they are treating me, distracting myself from how I am in fact creating what I am experiencing and so then not taking responsibility for myself to change, which causes this scenario to continue to occur over and over again.

One of the outflow consequences of this I am experiencing within myself and within my world is impatience’s. I am quite astonished at how repetitive my world is and how much I go into blame and distraction toward others, when I have not once until recently looked within myself, taken responsibility for myself, and so change and correct that which does not work. I also find that this impatience towards others creates a lot of strain within the relationships I am involved in which causes stress and anxiety, so allowing this to continue and perpetuate is causing unnecessary strain within myself and so within those I am causing consequence with.

I am going to write out the self forgiveness and self correction here to let go of the scenario I wrote out about, and correct this point to be best for myself and so best for those whom I interact with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the mornings when I wake up go into my mind and criticize the way I look and compare myself to pictures in my mind of what I should look like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in a way that separates me from the existence that is here where we all exist in a form of individuality through our physical though exist as life one and equal within all as the physical that exists within all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind within the belief that I am not attractive and that I have no purpose if I am not perfect within the way I look toward others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unattractive because I have judged my eyes and my face based on memories of boys judging my eyes and face specifically as less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on memories in my mind through a time within my life where it is not certain what were the specific events and what the boys where going through within themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by external factors where I see myself in a specific way according to what is being done onto me or said onto me, when in reality I am not clear in what is behind what is being said and why as well as can’t really know directly why it is being done to me, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by others and who they are at that time as I see, realize, and understand that others are also walking their process as a mind and don’t consider me as an equal and so can harm me or speak to me in ways that are not best for all and I realize this is not who they are nor myself, and with this awareness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energy of emotions and not stand as a support for others to show as an example what it means to stand through emotion and stand as a life support through not accepting what others say or do and so direct self within how one see is best for all and will create a solution for what is happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into emotion rather then stand within the principle of what is best and walking what is here as self support and self honesty, correcting that which is not best, and standing within the resistance to continue as it is comfortable to stay in and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into emotion and not breath and move through this find solutions for these moments where I stand in the face of challenges and find solutions as I see, realize, and understand I am capable as I am able to walk common sense through stopping the mind from moving fast and falling into the energy that will create distractions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for when I see, realize, and understand I am not standing within my utmost potential and push myself beyond my perceived limitations to walk what is necessary to be walked in the time to come.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility for what I have created here and so blame others and become emotional with others to distract from the fact that I am not standing and moving myself in the way I realize I am able to.

When and as I see I am moving in the morning within a suppression and an energy of self abuse, I stop and breath, and let go of these thoughts by doing self forgiveness and self commitments as I realize these will only create a heaviness within me and a point of self compromise as I accept these thoughts as real and so direct myself from my mind rather then my self living here in self acceptance and self direction in self honesty and common sense.

When and as I see I am going into a point where I am blaming another for something that I am experiencing within myself, I stop and breath, and realize that I am not taking responsibility in that moment to stop what I am creating as separation and abuse, and find the correction process to move into a point of self stability as well as self change that brings about solutions that is best for all.

I commit myself to in the mornings when I wake up, breath and breath until I am here and walk self forgiveness for any points that are cycling.

I commit myself to accept myself in the mirror and do any self forgiveness to any memories or pictures that come up to distract me and take me away from here.

I commit myself to move into self acceptance as well as accepting others for how they are and find solutions that are best in the moment to solve issues rather then reacting and creating emotional issues with others.

I commit myself to apply myself in real time self change to become stable in moments that I see I have a choice to go into the mind or be stable, I commit and move into stability in these moments through pushing myself to be stable and using the tools of self change to remain here, present, and creating solutions for what is here to do what is best for all.

Interview to check out on the topic of impatience:
Impatience - Reptilians - Part 225

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Impatience: How does Self Abuse Relate? Day 463

Impatience for me has been something that has been with me for a long time, I have always been frustrated with this point within myself and with my life because it seems that there is something off about why I am experiencing myself in such a way and why my reality is also experiencing themselves in this way. Obviously now, I realize it is based on the mind generating energy, though when I was young, I expressed the frustration usually in yelling or violence. I did not realize that stopping my thoughts about something willingly also support with stopping the emotions like impatience, and so makes me more stable and able to solve problems productively rather then creating more and more conflict. This understanding certainly supports with the process of changing this point from controlling me to directing me within it.

I listened to Anu tonight in regards to this point, so I do have some greater perspective on what impatience means within the mind/physical/beingness relationship inside self, so that is a cool foundation point, which I will continue to utilize as I continue to walk this point with more depth and specificity. This a side note : )

So in terms of this interview, what was discussed is how impatience is a form of automation within us that was preprogrammed into the mind to create a separation from self and the physical. So within myself what am I doing in my day to day living that is causing this separation between what I am living here and when I go into impatient? One point I was looking at was the trigger points of some of this impatient reactions I go into with my partner or with people at work, and I see initially there is a thought that comes up that I judge myself, such as I look ugly today or I am not feeling pretty, because in the morning I had a thought that I was looking tired. From here, I came into work with this thought and so when someone would create a movement that I perceived that they were judging me I would go into my mind and react, and then create an impatience with that person not because of anything they did, but because I wanted to distract myself from the fact that I am feeling uncomfortable around them based on my perception of feeling like I am being judged.

When in reality, I judged myself initially in the beginning of the day and created the experience that others are judging me, and then go into a reaction of impatience and create abuse as my outflow with people, when what really happened is that I reacted to my own judgment in the morning, which trigger my experience for the day that I followed of ‘feeling tired, and so ugly’. I am creating this whole scenario myself and blaming/projecting on others something that they are not doing and further, I have no reference to where they are at within themselves. And so creating this scernerio of becoming impatient, annoyed, and the outflow usually quick, frustrated, or rude to others is deliberate and unacceptable as I creating it this way when it doesn’t have to be.

So I am noticing that my outflows of impatience in one dimension is based on self judgments I hold of myself such as ‘I am ugly today’ as a backchat thought, and then any sign of being dismissed or any negative perception I accept within myself of what others are doing/insinuating/saying to me, I use impatience as a defense and protection mechanism to push people away and become the authority of the situation. Here I have power and I squash others before they have the chance to judge me as how I have judge myself, I am afraid of being judged as how I have judged myself. It’s a self perpetuating cycle of self abuse I am creating and so abusing others around me because I am judging myself initially, blaming others for the way I am experiencing myself around them, and then abusing them because I am afraid to face the fact that I am doing this to myself, and so ultimately resisting the change process this will take to stop and live as an equal with others, let go of my self judgments, and stop allowing this cycle of energy addiction to continue.

Well not any longer will I accept and allow this playout to continue, I am going to next write the self forgiveness and correction process to be lived in my next blog and then further open up more dimensions to this point of impatience in later blogs, thanks for reading.

Interview to check out on the topic of impatience:

Impatience - Reptilians - Part 225

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Moving Beyond Limitations – Self Correction on an Embarrassing Moment – Day 435

So through walking the forgiveness of myself in my last post within these moments of becoming embarrassed and experiencing it physically when my checks turn red, I can see and so give myself a correction process to walk as I continue my living in the future with these sorts of occurrences that are sure to come up again.

Here I will walk the self correction process needed:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the belief I have created about myself that others are trying to put me down and harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this belief I have of myself as not being good enough onto others within a state of self victimization where I believe I am powerless to others and there effects on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself and project this inherent blame of the way in which I am experiencing myself as the victim and powerless onto others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto others within my world and in my reality based on me holding onto a belief that others are trying to harm me and abuse me.

When and as I see myself going within myself and creating a thought process of blame onto another person for me experiencing myself in energy when I go red in my face, I stop and breath, and realize that I am just creating a state for myself to hide in and escape from what I am actually doing to myself as creating a place for me to not have to change my experience of myself and face others in situations where I am uncomfortable. I realize by victimizing myself and blaming others, I am disempowering myself to move beyond these moments of self compromise and stand within this and create myself new in these moments in expression that will be come lived if I move beyond this fear and belief that I am being abused and harmed by others.

I commit myself to breath and move beyond my desire to blame others for the experiencing I am having within myself.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to make my experience within myself of for instance getting embarrassed and my face turning red be about the external reality, and within this I commit myself to find the source and so the solution to how to change this action of blame into self movement to become equal to this experience and transform it into a beneficial moment of seeing that I am able to change this and create something new from it.

I commit myself to stop blaming others through turning these moments back onto myself and seeing where am I doing and creating this experience within myself, and so I commit to within these findings create solutions and corrections for myself so I can change and transform these moments to empower myself and so others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within myself of me being powerless to others based on the energy experience I have accepted within me of feeling inferior and diminished around others because of something they said or did in my presence that I took as a personal attack or abuse towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility within not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am the creator of this experience of inferiority and diminishment within me due to judging myself within myself in ways of seeing myself as not doing well within this event and comparing myself to other people around me, and so then believe within me that that is what everyone else is doing and saying about me in their minds and also in my perception I have defined within there actions towards me within their gestures and even words.

When and as I see I am abdicating my responsibility of having to find why I am existing in ways that does not support self growth and come to corrections, I stop and breath, and realize that within taking responsibility I have the opportunity to move beyond my self interest of only seeing who and what I want to see based on my own judgments and self abuses, and find where and how I can support myself to change and stop the self abuse I am doing onto myself through comparing and judging myself with others.

I commit myself to stop comparing who I am within a moment and who others are, and so I commit to focus on my own self movement, my own self growth, and through this and once this has been proven for myself extend it to others by supporting them to see how I have changed and not make it about comparing and competition.

I commit myself to move beyond my desires to compare and compete, and see within myself who I will be if I dare to change myself within this moments by seeing in self honesty and changing myself step by step in a self creation process.

I commit myself to walk the self creation process of standing within embarrassing moments and all moments I will face as a sales women, and correcting myself within taking responsibility for who I am and how I will change myself to correct and stand stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take other peoples words, gestures, or ideas, beliefs, imaginations within my own mind personal and believe that this is who I am when I see, realize, and understand and have proven to myself that when I move as breath here and align with my body and act, I am able to perform in a manner that I am satisfied with and that is aligned with my expression, and so I see, realize, and understand that I have a decision to make in these moments to either go into a point of diminishment experience of things that are not based on fact and reality, and so can not be trusted or walk what is here, what is stable, what I can trust, myself in action here as I breath, aligned with the physical and who I am here in the moment of speaking.

I commit myself to breath through the moments where I want to listen to my thoughts and my backchat, I commit to let go of these thoughts, I commit myself to move into physical movement as physical correction to change my living of self diminishment to self creation in the moment of what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad in the moment of believing I was being judged and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgments and comparison of myself as not good enough onto another person and then accept that I am being held down and abused, when I see, realize, and understand that I am doing this to myself, I am abusing myself in my own mind, and not changing in those moments to what is stable, what supports me as life and my expression, and what creates me as life and that is through my living here in the moment as I speak and stopping my participation in these thoughts, energy experiences, and my mind within memories.

When and as I see I am projecting abuse onto others in my reality, I stop and breath, and realize that I am projecting my own mind and how I am toward myself as self abusive, and so realize that I must stop my own participation within judging myself, comparing myself, diminishing myself, thinking less then who I really am, and so interiorizing and making myself superior to others to make myself feel an good, instead of being here and living within what is best for all and so creating this as myself within the way I live.

I commit myself to let go of my desire to be better then others, and so I commit myself to stop the abuse of myself and others in my mind.

I commit myself to let go of my belief that I am less then others and that I am not good at anything.

I commit to stop judging myself and so I commit myself to stop projecting this abuse onto others in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment of judgment towards myself in my mind as doing bad when explaining the product to the vendor and thinking he must see me really being pathetic within trying to explain this, and so react within a physical moment of embarrassment accepting and allowing this moment to define me as a point of proof that I am bad through defining and judging myself as not doing good cause my face went red.

I forgive  myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for going red in the face when I speak and react, and believe I am less then the other person talking because of me being uncomfortable visibly in front of them and going red, when I realize, see, and understand this is not in fact real, I am making this up, and it does not benefit me in anyway, so I realize I can change in that moment, let the mind go and the beliefs and judgments, and move myself beyond that limitation into immediate correction which is here within myself in awareness in what direction I will walk next as I speak in my expression in the moment.

I commit myself to see and understand that who I am in the moment is not defined by others, and so I commit myself to move beyond this limitation of belief and direct myself.

I commit to direct myself in these moments where I go red in the face, through breathing, and staying focused on the topic at hand, and continuing to speak and push myself until the moment is cleared.

I commit to never give up and continue to push myself until I am stable and able to speak with ease as I have proven it through space time within the natural learning ability of the physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto that memory of me being seen in the moment of going red in the face and visible being uncomfortable as a reminder that I am less then others and go into that sinking feeling of powerlessness when I remember the moment I go red and what that feeling felt like, when I realize, see, and understand that it is not defining me here, it is an occurrence that I can learn from and realize how to correct the point, but I also realize, see, and understand that it’s just an energy experience of powerlessness, I am not this actually, I can move myself in each moment and change myself in what direction I will to what makes sense in the moment and what will benefit all and so myself, walking common sense and real time application within breathing, correcting, and living.

When and as I see this memory come up of my face going red with another human being, I stop ad breath, and realize that this moment is just a moment in time where I allowed judgment onto myself, and so I realize I am not judgment nor am I energy, I am able to direct myself in these moments and create myself new within the expression of myself that is here in that moment.

I commit to not allow this energy of embarrassment direct me in future moments by realizing it is not real and can be moved through into stability.

I commit myself to push self expression in these moments of resistance due to a memory by seeing this is not who I really am and I can create myself in all moments within the moment that is here by simply living it, simply doing it.

 I commit to live discipline in moving myself in moments where I am embarrassed and want to retreat, I move beyond this moment, and found a way to express myself and create a point of something new that I wouldn’t have if I just allowed suppression.  

Interview Support on the topic of moving through Embarrassment:
Embarrassment: Embarrassment and Personalities - Atlanteans - Part 106
Embarrassment: Is it Really so Bad? - Atlanteans - Part 107
Embarrassment: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans – Part 108

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Osho Card Support - Ending the Cycle of Self Abuse through Doing it - Day 425

Tonight I did an osho card reading, and the overall point I took from it was that at this time I have the potential to transcend my sorrow from my past, the suffering I have created in my life, and in this here moment expand my creation process through principles into something not only better for myself, but better for the whole of this world. I obviously see the correlation as within Desteni this is our primary focus, changing ourselves from within to what is best for all to then be able to change the outer in the best way possible as we have proven to ourselves through actually living it. I often times think about how much of my life is a struggle and how much of what I struggle with feels overwhelming and out of my reach to handle. But within this I am not in fact actually facing the real problem or pushing myself enough in each moment to do what is necessary to stop the struggle and overwhelmingness because as I realize I am creating this myself and so I have to then create the solution through my own will, there is nothing or no one else that can do this for me, I have realized this, if I don't move, my process does not move and so becomes stagnant.

A lot of the times, I am not so stable within my application because I am still accepting and allowing my back chat which is the nasty speaking of myself in the back of my mind to control and have power over me, and so diminish my effectiveness in who I can really be in this life. I can easily brush aside my need for particpation and become distracted with a whole area of things that we have created to distract ourselves with in this reality. But within dismissing and distracting myself from these backchat dimensions, I am missing the opportunity within this life to create myself new, to change myself, and let go of that which is not supporting me. To substantiate myself and so my life I have to create this for myself, there is no one else but me within this physical body and I as all have equally the ability to change our patterns that are not working for what is best for all and create solutions to then so create life.

I am focusing currently on one point and this is whenever within my mind I am hearing or seeing an experience come up of judging myself in any way, I immediately breath and stop it in awareness deliberately, and move myself within the physical in full participation meaning completely aware of directing myself to stop. I am pushing this until I am satisfied that I have proven to myself that I can stop in a moment through my own directive will. I have accepted and allowed myself to get discouraged or get overwhelmed and fall into energy in the past, and so stop my active participation in my process to really substantiate myself in the decision I have made to stop my self judgment character and become aware of my actions in the physical. Theses are cyclical points that I see I am falling into at the critical moments, so I am dedicating myself here to continue walking this process of stopping and changing in the here moment, and creating myself to be self directive by walking this process creation of myself step by step and breath by breath until it is done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up in the difficult moments within walking a point of stopping my mind participation such as stopping my backchat and so I realize that substantiating myself in the decision I live that is aligned with life and living this decision into the physical is how to get this done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the mind in what it is bringing up about me such as that I am less then others or greater then, and so give up in the moments where the energy becomes intense and I am feeling overwhelmed, I realize that this is the critical creation point of myself in moving beyond the mind limitation and self enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move through the resistances to continue and push myself in this process, and so I see that within this not pushing I have diminished my potential that is here in each moment, and I realize to re-substantiate this again I have to stand and push myself when I want to give up or give in, otherwise i will continue to exist as the mind cause i am not changing myself in this critical moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have what it takes to move beyond my limitations and it’s just too much, when I realize, see, and understand that this process is able to be walked within a breath by breath living, no past no future, just here directing in the moment and moving myself in a process of substantiations through my living participation and building self awareness.

When and as I see I am going into a point of wanting to fall or give in to the experiences within myself, I stop and breath, and realize that these moments of extreme experiences are the crucial moments to move through and substantiate myself within because I realize I am reaching the limits to my mind consciousness system and to move beyond that will be a push because I have to create it and it's also unknown, but moving beyond limitation and the unknown resistances is who I decide to be.

I commit myself to stop my backchat in each moment I see it come up within myself through breath and physical self awareness participation of stopping.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for who I have become and what I have created, let that go, and create from a point of awareness here within an expression of equality and oneness that life is here and we only have to create it within ourselves in who we are to live it.

I commit myself to live the correction within the moments that are here to be walked by moving through resistances and facing and transcending my fears by living them and changing myself within them to understand the point and so create a new reality in self direction.


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