This is a portion of this blog, that I will be doing self forgiveness on.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen by others as stupid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being called stupid by others based on a memory I hold of being in middle school and being called stupid by others and imprinting this into me that I am stupid because I was called this by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what was said to me personally and create this idea that I am stupid because I was called this, and thus live my life with this idea that I am not smart and inferior to those I see as more intellectual based on a memory of being called this by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen by others when called stupid as I fear others believing because I was called stupid by someone that automatically makes in their minds me as a stupid person, and so them not liking me based on this idea I hold of what others will conclude about me because of being called stupid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others think of me or how others perceive me as being called stupid, but I realize this is just based on how I perceive myself and how I am judging self/others in my mind, so thus I stop this allowing myself to accept thoughts of judgment towards another and perceiving others in my mind instead of living here with them in the physical, so moving me from my mind to the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto fear based on holding onto the past as the memory of being called stupid, and thus defining myself by the emotions of self diminishment and sadness that came upon me when being called stupid in this memory and so defined myself by this moment, and thus resisting being called this or being perceived as stupid so I will not have to feel the sadness and self diminishment emotions again as I resist or go into a defense of being called stupid instead of letting it go as I realize who I am as life one and equal with all.
I commit myself to stop and breath when I feel the energy come up of going into self diminishment when someone jokingly or seriously calls me stupid as I realize that I define who I am thus am not defined by words spoken by others, so it’s to breath through the reaction and walk the physical here and not be directed/defined by others.
I commit myself to stop the fears of having others see me as less then by stopping myself from reacting through practicing to be here and accept myself when I feel the actions to go into self diminishment based on reacting to others words through breathing and stabilizing myself in my body.
I commit myself to breath through any reactions to any words spoken to me or spoken by me and purify the word to determine it’s relevance and stand equal to it’s meaning through self forgiveness.
I commit myself to let go of the memories of being called stupid and thus walk equal to the physical here in what is really happening with others and thus be able to support and care for others equal to myself and care for myself as well where there is no mind influence but just here comfortable and relaxed with me.