A Lady's Journey to Life: Day 159 – Impatience’s – Part 2

So here continuing from yesterday’s blog, Day 158- Impatiences about impatience’s, where I rush through my responsibilities due to not being patient and only looking for a good time, so here walking through one of the consequential outflow that came up yesterday during a chat, and that was fear of looking stupid. I would write out the post to be sent through and would not take the time to read it through, but just hit send. Then once sent I will quickly read through what I just sent and realize there were many little mistakes made just by rushing that I should have caught and corrected, but due to me just wanting to go quick, I send without confirmation of it being accurate, and then face the point of fearing being seen as stupid. I fear this because the mistakes are easy words, and done numerous times, so this continual point of spelling wrong, I go into fear and anxiousness that I will be seen by the other as being a stupid person realizing this is how I am judging myself, that it’s not about the other’s thinking, but who I am within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of looking stupid based on the belief that I am being seen as this by the other because I am judging this within myself. I realize that I am the one condemning myself and thus should not participate within assumptions of what others are thinking of me as this will enslave me throughout my life to outside sources that I can’t control and are undetermined, so realistically speaking I see and understand I have to stop my participation in assuming what others are thinking of me and stop judging myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into the belief that others are thinking bad of me, I stop and breath, and check within myself where is it that I am judging myself, in so I can identify the point such as this point of seeing myself as stupid, and so I commit to find the point that I am judging about myself and assume another is judging of me as well, so I can write it out and direct it within self forgiveness and self correction so I can stop the enslavement of this point from directing me, so to give myself direction to correct this point in my living, stopping the enslavement of assumptions of the external world and judgments of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand that when I do not consider each and every word I type and send to another, I should expect myself to have spelling mistakes and misalignments within writing as I have created this consequence for myself by rushing through the writing and not taking the time to check and see if it is correct. I realize that within this I show lack of consideration for the other reading it and a lack of self discipline as I don’t take the time which is necessary for the best understanding of the other reading, to correct the points that are misaligned so it is legible for the receiver.

I commit myself to each and every time I walk through a chat or writing that I walk through the words written to check to see that everything is in alignment before I send it off to the receiver, this to ensure that all is clear and legible for the other and I gain stability within trusting myself to recheck who I am as cross-reference so I can perfect my application so to live best for all within myself and the other to create an equal opportunity for growth and understanding through words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that self discipline is crucial for the process of re-birthing life to be best for all, and so I have to walk absolute within this point to be a part of this process, and so within each and every point within my life, I have to walk self discipline and self will in doing what has to be done, even and especially checking to make sure all my words are aligned and understood for all who read it, as the message of equality and oneness in what is best for all is shared and understood through words and living words.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am walking into laziness and resistance, stop and breath, and walk my self discipline by doing what it is that is set in front of me that I am resisting and desiring to do later, I stop and breath, and complete the task in front of me, and don’t allow resistance to direct me in anyway by resolving my self discipline and living it absolute, until I am here absolute I will not stop pushing this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as stupid based on making mistakes and thus judge myself for making spelling mistakes as if this is a sign of someone who is not smart, I realize and see that making mistakes even in spelling is a way to learn from, and in this case to show that I have to slow down and stop the point of resistance, so I can create myself in a way were I can trust to walk through whatever is here, and correct myself in complete self support and self honesty to create greater clarity and stability within who I am as my words and thus live them as me as the example of what I speak.

I commit myself to when and as I go into to judgment of seeing myself stupid, I stop and breath, and realize that the consequential outflow of this is guilt and thus self victimization, which I realize is not necessary, thus I stop my self judgment of myself when I make a mistake realizing it is part of the process of expansion and self growth, and so walk what has to be walked in all it’s facets, and perfect my living in the process, to check myself before I move to make sure I am clear and here in what is best for all and thus write words or speak words in awareness and stability.