Thursday, June 14, 2012

Day 58- Do you Desire to be a Dominant/Submissive?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk into the point of submission due to the perception I hold of life being within a polarity divide as better/worse. I realize and see that life is not based on my point of view or on perception but on physical reality within the context of all that is here equal and one to myself. Life is not based on a divide or a separation thus life is equal in fact as the life/source/substance that creates all that exist is this in fact one and equal with all that is physically here, we as life are all here in this physical reality and that's all there is, the physical, anything more or less is created by the mind and thus is not real, is not physical, thus the mind is created from what is not real which is the illusion of this world and can not be trusted.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perceive myself as weak when I was a child because I compared myself to other children and had a desire within me to be perfect and thus within this desire I as a child defined  this perfection through looks, thus compared myself within looks of other children and based on my comparison of not seeing myself acceptable enough and equal in looks to other kids, I defined myself as less then others, as weaker. I realize and see that within this holding onto a sense of perfection within the way one look I have been programmed through media, tv shows, and movies as a child to believe that this is what define life, define beings, and thus accepted this as myself and designed myself based on this assessment and conclusion. Within this assessment and conclusion that I made as a child that life is being based and defined by looks, I realize I made a faulty assessment as I didn't realize nor see and understand the equality of what life is as all that exist here is not based on the look or picture of the physical, but the physical itself and thus within this we are all equal as all here is physical in fact. I see and understand that what creates desire and this idea that others are more then is the mind as illusions of thoughts, ideas, pictures, and beliefs that are held onto as real but have been made up within myself and repeated in living and thus eventually became real for me and so I have accepted this definition of looks defining life as real and thus lived into this acceptance as less then others due to my belief that I am not as pretty and lived the opposite as dominant when I saw myself as more pretty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within and as the desire to be more then another being and thus play into the polarity game that ensues where one being will be more while the other be less and create all relationships from this starting point, cycling back and forth from submissive to dominate chasing the positive as winning, being the prettiest, and equally always creating the negative of losing/being less then the prettiest. Here I realize and see that this desire to be more is what needs to be stopped as it is not the truth of life and thus is not the truth of who I am thus I see and realize I have missed this point through feeding my desire to have a positive experience not realizing that I was equally creating the negative experience as submissive, thus I stop the desire to be more, and walk the correction into equality with all life, and stop the judgment and comparison and stand one and equal within my living within and as my word.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to gain a sense of power when I have lived and accepted myself to become the dominate play out of this desire to be more when I find I have defined myself as more then another as a picture and thus changed my behavior, my words, and my living to a confidence and overpower of the other I see as submissive and accept the submission of the other if allowed as I gain a high of energy as power when I am given the authority of the other due to this belief that I am better and thus I can see the other as weaker based on the way our pictures look and this live it out as if it is true. I realize and understand the separation and abuse that has been created within accepting and allowing this idea that looks define life and that I change myself to live into this play-out of more if/when I perceive myself to be more. I must stop this addiction to power and dominance over another based on the energy that is given as a high of positive feelings as i am being submitted too.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to equally accept the submissive role when I have come upon life that I have perceived and defined myself as less attractive then, and thus live out the submission to them within the behaviors of allowing them to dominate me, where I stifle myself and suppress myself due to fear of them and seeing them as more then me not realizing and seeing that I am giving my own power away by accepting myself and living out this belief that I am less then them due to a picture and the way our bodies look. I realize and understand that walking and allowing others to dominate me in living out this point of seeing myself less then due to the judgment of the way I look in comparison to the other is creating the suppression and constriction I am existing as as I have created this within myself by defining myself by the mind, by pictures, and in separation due to the perception of my idea and desire to be more and thus living the polarity play-out out as seeing myself as less. I realize and understand when I allow this to occur I will continually give my power away and lose my self ability to walk within self empowerment as it's not here as self but I am defining it by others thus giving my power to others due to my self judgment based on look/pitcures/ideas. I must stop the comparison, stop the judgments on looks, and stop the mind from seeing life in separation I am not separate from what is here as I am here and all are here in this physical world as we are all physical life.

I commit to stopping myself within walking into self compromise by defining myself and others within the mind as ideas, beliefs, perceptions within polarities of better/worse. I commit to walk here as physical life, physical body, and common sense physical living one and equal with all the life that is here with me.

I commit to stop giving my power away to others by judging myself and comparing myself to others, and walk within and as breath and live equal and practice this until I am here as equal life with all.

I commit to stop the desire to be more then other life and walk the physical process to live with and as all as equal through my internal world by stopping my mind from directing me in separations and my outer world by changing this world system so all live in equality and are supported in this way as well. This through writing, self investigation, self forgiveness for purification of myself, and self change to live this in my day to day until it's here as me.

submissive, dominant, fifty shades of grey, authority figures, desire to be more, pretty picture, ugly, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni, 2012, journey to life, sex, sexy

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