Day 47- Drowning myself in Beauty Pictures

Here walking through the point within myself that I am judging to let go this constant payout of being beautiful that I am still seeing direct me. I realize that pictures and the beauty system is not who I am, and so I walk out this in self forgiveness more to see what opens up to let go of these judgments and definitions and exist only here as breathing as one and equal with what is here as this physical existence I am existing within and as.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the way I look because within myself I desire to be a beautiful picture so I can have a beautiful man and be able to live and enjoy this beautiful man as I know that I will be equal within this beauty as I will be seen within myself as beautiful as well.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be within and as a secret mind competition play out where I am defining my partner and all who I come into contact with based on our pictures and if we are equal within the idea of beauty I am holding on to then I will accept myself within the relationship.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within back chat competition of being more beautiful then others as I desire this for myself to be seen as the best within the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only desire to be better then others through pictures and thus define myself within this idea that I am better because I am being seen by others as better based on the way we look.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project my own judgments onto others and assume this is how they are defining me through the way I look and thus go into the mind and define myself by this projection and my idea of how they reacted to me and thus get lost within this cycle of self judgment towards myself because I am not accepting myself and only seeing myself within desires to be seen as more so I can be accepted by myself because I am not seeing myself as worthy as others and thus playing this polarity of being more within defining myself and all life by the way we look which is complete separation from who I really am here as all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the look of those who are not this beautiful picture as less then because within myself I fear being this, i fear being seen as ugly by others because I have only defined and accepted others based on the beautiful picture they held and thus within myself always held myself to a point this picture as well and thus caused great depression within myself because I was never satisfied as I saw my self as ugly and never satisfied because I was so judgmental of others so could not be close with them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to envy those girls who had a beautify look as I saw them as perfect in their life and had all the opportunities I wouldn't get because I wasn't this beautiful picture as I was only basing the acceptance of myself and others on the way we looked primarily.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become addicted with my look and thus only focus on what I looked liked and how I was being perceived by others in terms of their expression towards me and thus go into a polarity of inferior/superior based on the reactions of others toward me and thus define myself by others based on the way I felt on how they either accepted me or rejected me and I always tied this to the way I looked.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become a picture only desiring and existing to impress those around me so I could be seen as acceptable where I perceived this would help me move up in the world so to speak, get the man I desired, and be able to get money/job that I desired because all that matter was if people like me as people were always attracted to those who were beautiful.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live my life based on pictures and define myself as well as others based on the way we look within this realizing that there is no difference in terms of who we are as our look, we are all made of substance and thus all have the same design as life, but within ourselves the differences of expressions is here and thus limiting myself to defining myself by just a picture instead of realizing that I am all the pictures I see.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself to only pictures and disregard the being within and as the body equal and one to me but devalue them or exalt them due to me not accepting myself here as all life as who we are here as our physical bodies.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within polarity play outs of ugly and beautiful within the way one look and thus define them by this as if this is who we are as I realize that within myself this is not who I am I am not based on the picture that I see in the mirror and thus I must realize and walk this point by stopping the desire to be something more then just here a body as flesh as the human is made up as as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not accept me as ugly within and as this picture as I have defined this as lack and no opportunity and thus saw this as a point of lose and that it must be avoided as I will not be able to fully live out what I desire which was to have the man of my dreams if i saw myself as ugly or if others gave me any indication within their reaction towards me as ugly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge those with this idea of ugly I held in my mind where it is a defining point of who they are and thus go into a point of separation towards them based on the way our pictures looked which is limiting me from becoming life here with all as I am judging life due to something that I am not accepting within myself because I desire to be something different and something more.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to look different because I am not getting the attention I desire from males in which I have the option to get any guy I desire based on the picture I present.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not accept my picture because I desire to be more in hopes that I will get the attention I desire instead of living within and as who I am here as self in all of who I am accepting me for me and stopping the separation within the idea that who I am to others and what I desire is all that matters.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself to pictures and desires to be special within and as my world and have attention from others because I see myself as less then and thus define this attention to my self worth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define my self worth based on others reactions to me instead of who I am within and as my living in equality with life and how I live this equality as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only exist as the mind as a picture based on survival and trying to remain in this system to have power and my desires met.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to help perpetuate this system of competition and abuse to life based on my desire to be special and be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not accept all life here unconditionally within who we are as life beings as this physical existence and walk the correction to self perfection in living within and as care and unity of ourselves with the freedom of being here and being defined by nothing and existing as everything one and equal to self.

When and as I go into this point of desiring beauty and to be seen by others in a desire or idea of more for my own self interest, I stop breath, and re-allocate myself to the starting point of oneness and equality with all and then re-align my living by stopping the thoughts of judgments and let go of this desire to be more. Walk within unconditional expression as myself in breath and stop defining me by separation as my mind within desires, wants, and needs from outside sources, but accept myself as all here and accept myself as life as who I am as all are and thus accept all as myself and live without conditions. Let go of this idea of pictures in polarities as this is not real as it's only being defined within myself when all that is here is this physical existence one and equal with my physical body anything else is not real and made up by myself.

I commit to stop defining life by the beauty system of beauty and ugliness.

I commit to let go all of my judgments and ideas of trying to be more to attain a certain outcome.

I commit to let go of my desires for more and to be the best, but live among life within the living of practical physical reality in who I am as one and equal with all life as self.

I commit to accept myself here without condition and walk the re-alignment into oneness and equality with all as this physical existence in my living as self perfection as what life is for real.



beauty queen, i want to be beautiful, beauty tips, make up tips, how to look your best, are we just a look, who are we?, who am i, why beauty, equality, equal life, desteni, eqafe, journey to life, 2012