Day 52- Backchat Judgments

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to backchat within my head about a being I saw today who was tall and gangly, and judged him as awkward and had a negative charge towards him, a dislike, because of this judgement that he is awkward based on the way he looked in that moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge a being within my mind in secret and make a value judgment of him as negative based on his physical body shape.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the being based on the fact that I could do so in private within my secret mind and not have to face the being, and thus could seek out my own self interest as I actually was judging him because he did not respond and treat me the way I expected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the backchat within and as my mind as a secret place to judge, make fun of, place value on another being and come to conclusions about who they are based on the way I reacted to the being and actually am using this backchat secret mind chamber to take revenge and get myself some energy to get back on top within myself as I accepted myself to feel rejected when I was not greeted in the way I expected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my back chat in my secret mind chamber as a place to abuse others without directly facing them so I can diminish them as I have felt diminished by them on my own terms and not having to face them for real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take actions from another personal as if it was deliberate and done to spite me as I realize these are assumptions that I placed onto others actions and thus went into my secret mind as back chat and diminished and made them less then me so I could within myself see myself as more as I felt low from taking the action by the other personally.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an expectation and desire for others to treat me how I expect to be treated where I gain a good feeling about myself as I have seen that I am accepted by the other and thus gained a high off of this acceptance as energy through good feelings gained within the exchange because I got what I desired, the greeting with praise and making me feel special/liked.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to thus go within the opposite polarity play out when I don't receive what I desired and in this case it was a certain greeting from this person and thus went into inferiority and thus felt less then him because I didn't see what I expected or desired when he greeted me and thus I wanted to seek revenge and blame him for me feeling this rejection.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go within my mind as backchat and diminish the other within blame and rejection based on me taking his actions personally and thus went into the depression because i didn't get what I desired and thus went into revenge based on the blame and rejection feeling that I accepted and allowed to exist within me being desiring something and expecting it to come true.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create desires and exceptions on others and life in general when there is no guarantee nor predictability to how anyone is to be and act thus also their is no limitations as i see and walk direct with all in common sense and see all here as myself so thus accept me here within and as all with no separation such as the idea that I have been rejected, not real made up because I separated myself to a feeling that was generated because I desire something more, existing in positive/negative when I realize that I am both here, I am all that exist, I walk me back here in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as the polarity play out of elated/diminished based on my outside world where I seek and desire confirmation for myself and acceptance of myself based on not desiring to get to know myself and face myself because I don't see myself as worthy to others thus seeking acceptance because of this inferiority I am existing as.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react in blame and depression based on anothers actions towards me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by others instead of giving myself the gift of acceptance and understanding of myself as life one with all and living my life and my actions best for all and thus one and equal where this will be how I live one and equal with all as self thus stopping the polarities.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat and diminish another based on my acceptance and allowance of taking things personally based on my own self judgment and unworthiness I am feeling within myself and thus taking my pain and hurt out onto others because I am existing in one side of the good/bad polarity not realizing that I am both and have to equalize myself to ever feel stable as I am creating the instability within myself by living into one and resisting the other side of the pole.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the other being and call him names within my back chat and thus create a negative charge when I was with him as I accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less then him and thus go into competition and diminish.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into competition to try and be more then another when this is only based on my lack of self worth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give me life here and thus exist within the mind as illusions as separations from who I realize I am as life and thus I walk to correction and stop the separation with life through stopping the separation within myself and accepting myself for who I am one and equal with all life.

When and as I come to a being where I judge and go into my backchat, I immediately stop and breath through the desire to participate in the mind. I stop and move myself physically to bring me back here. Once stable I find the points that I am not accepting within myself that cause me to react and become abusive and thus walk it into correction through self forgiveness and self corrective statements and thus then through my living.

I commit to stopping my secret mind as back chat and so live here within and as the physical as breath and physical movement with my human physical body.

I commit to stopping taking actions by others personally and go into mind delusions as inferiority and superiority and see myself within polarities in competition to the others, but rather breath, stop, and walk with in common sense and practical living in equality with self and so with all.

I commit to stop taking things personally and stop the abuse within seeing myself less then others, I commit to walk equal with all by walking my process to correction until their is no movement and I am here.




back chat, secret mind, secret life of a abuser, mind demon, demons within, vendetta against another, equality, eqafe, equal life, journey to life, desteni, 2012