Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Day 57- Resisting Life

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist walking with and as my physical breath here in each moment. I realize and see that this resistance is showing me who I am accepting myself to be as an automated robot not able to breath with and as the physical but depend on the physical for life. I realize I must stop this resistance and walk with my breath in each moment to stop this zombification of myself and dependence on others for the life that I am. I am life thus I must breath one and equal as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist walking as breath in each moment in what that entails in having to become aware of each and all actions that I create and exist as and thus realize that I must become responsible for everything I am doing and being, and so I realize and see that this is showing me that I am actually desiring to be in this point of ignorance is bliss and chase the mind experience of good feelings instead of what has to be done here in this physical reality as solutions to create a world best for all. Thus I realize that I must stop my desire to become an experience of good feelings and thus equally stop the going into the conflict and friction with others to create the polarity game of energy creating the bad/friction/conflict to experience the good/bliss/relationship later, and thus live in this physical reality with and as my physical breath in the walk to support all life as myself in the action of giving to myself my all as the physical action I walk as I would want done for me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist taking responsibility for my actions and becoming the director of who I am based on the fear of failure and that I will not make it. I realize and see that fear of failure is no reason to not walk the process that has to be walked within and as taking responsibility for who I am as I realize each breath that I resist another is suffering and thus I am suffering here. I see suffering and causing life to suffer makes no sense to who and what I am as life living so thus I stop fear and walk with and as the physical in growth and expansion until all that remain is breath as me as this physical existence in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sabotage myself before I start something due to the thought that 'I won't make it' when I realize and see that the only being hindering me is myself and I am the only one living into the judgments I hold as myself as a failure due to holding onto the past and how I define myself in comparison with others. I realize and see to stop the sabotage of myself I must stop comparing and judging myself and live here with and as the physical reality as all life here is physical reality, anything more is mind and thus made up equaling not real but my own illusion. I realize and see that I have to stop separating myself into the mind dimension by stopping the separation into polarities and comparisons and see me and walk me here within and as this physical reality as and within my physical body using the breath as my stability point until I am stable within and as the physical as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist myself walking this process due to fear. I realize and see that fear is not real and thus all that is here is me and who I decide to be in each moment. I am the definer of myself and I make the decision of what direction I will walk. I walk as life to equality with all into and as a world that is best for all there is no other choice but this as I realize who I am one and equal with life as this physical world and existence.

I commit to stopping the resistance to breath and push myself in each breath to be aware of my physical and walk the process of purification through self forgiveness to empty myself within separations and thus become here as the physical as who I really am in oneness and equality with all life.

I commit to walk self forgiveness through self writing and self investigation so I walk through my mind and change myself from a being living from experience to living as life equal and one with all that is here.

I commit to walk responsibility within self by become aware of who I am as each breath, pushing through the resistance to not move, and use the tools to become the living word and do to others as I would for myself.

I commit to change myself in each moment to stopping the judgment and comparison of life and walking and living the realization that all this is here is me, I exist here and that is life.

life, resistance to living, i hate my life, i hate work, i don't want to do it, do i have to?, why do we have to put in so much effort to live?, why do life suffer, equality, equal money, equal life, journey to life, desteni, 2012.

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