My Journey to Life: back chat

Showing posts with label back chat. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Day 197 - Reaction Dimension – In the ‘Taking things personally” Personality

For Further Perspective, you can check out relevant blogs:
Day 190 – Opening up an Event of Attack within The “Taking Things Personally” Personality
Day 191 – 'Taking things Personal' Personality – Thought Dimension - “She is Wrong”
Day 192 – ‘Taking Things Personal’ Personality– Fear Dimension – No Conflict!
Day 193 – “Taking Things Personal’ Personality – Fear Dimension Self Forgiveness in facing conflict
Day 194 - "Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - It's Her Fault!
Day 195 –"Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - Self Responsbility
Day 196- “Taking it Personal” Personality – Reaction Dimension – “Rudeness Demon”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to when being confronted within the point of being late, go into fear and thus inferiority, and within this go into competition, which activated the desire to become superior. I then went into the reaction of anger based on seeing her within a point of competition and thus seeing that I had to defeat her. I realize and understand that when I accept this point of competition and thus go into a point of desiring to win or be superior, I will activate the emotion of anger based on the belief that I have to go into battle.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of reaction of anger, I need to stop and breath, and thus do not accept myself to follow any more thoughts within polarities playouts, but remain stable and breath. Understanding that I have accessed a point of competition, and thus breathing through this desire to go in and create more conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in embarrassment based on this point of being confronted and being seen as doing something bad, and thus react in anger based on blaming the other for this embarrassment that was created when confronted. I realize and see that blame is not taking responsibility for my actions as becoming embarrassed, and thus no solution will be met, but only more conflict and instability within myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of embarrassment based on reacting to an external stimuli, I stop and breath, and say nothing until I am stable. Allow the point to settle down within, and do not accept myself to follow any points of reactions as these are what cause the conflict and instability within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being embarrassed to being weak based on holding onto memories of being called out in school, and thus seeing myself as weak because I was called out on this by others. Accepting the embarrassment as a point of self enslavement seeing myself as weak and less then when I experienced this emotion come up as it was usually due to being picked on as a kid.

And thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto that memory of being out casted and picked on within that feeling of being embarrassed and thus immediately access anger towards whoever it is that activated that feeling. I realize and see though that it is just a memory stored within my physical of a point that happened in the past that does not define who I am, and so I am not defined nor have to direct myself based on this feeling of embarrassment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed blame towards another through the reaction of become angry towards them and thus cause abuse towards them based on me not wanting to face myself and accept the responsibility to stop participating in these emotions and beliefs as embarrassment makes me weak, and thus stop my self diminishment and self sabotage through accepting it and thus stopping particpation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as weak and thus link this to being embarrassed and so define myself as this now as if this is who I am, which I realize is not me and does not define who I am.

I commit myself to when and as I am faced with this feeling of embarrassment, let go of all the thoughts through breathing and thus become stable within myself before I do anything. I commit to stop all blame and thus all anger when this feeling come up by preventing it from going there through the breath and my self will to have it stop controlling me by stopping my participation in the thoughts and reactions of emotion through accept it as a point I have to face and thus have the ability then to stop it.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Day 196- “Taking it Personal” Personality – Reaction Dimension – “Rudeness Demon”

Day 195 –"Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - Self Responsbility

Here looking at the point of the reaction dimension within this point of the conflict situation with my co-worker in which I have been writing about all the different dimensions that opened up within this event in the latest series of blogs. I have found that when I accepted and allowed, the thought dimension and thus thebackchat dimension, and the fear dimensions, I automatically energized the physical reaction stage of my actions within this event that caused rudeness and compromised my relationship with her due to my behavior towards her. The thought dimension was the initial justifications of my reactions of rudeness towards her based on believing the thoughts that I had created in my head, but within this they were not based on reality and thus were not based on fact. So my justifications were invalid and thus only followed through on based on my self interest to be right.

This assumption of what is so and thus me following these assumptions for my own self interest of being right is causing me to be abusive and unstable within myself, and where does that lead me, it compromises my self stability based on the fact that I will create and thus accumulate more conflict based on just trying to win. And when in competition the other will have to lose, which cause instant friction and conflict, and thus cause instability within my world and thus myself

My reaction of rudeness was the outflow result of these different dimensions of fear, backchat to fuel this rudeness and haste within being with her, were I lashed on in anger and deliberately made her feel bad. I find I would have approached the situation different if I had not followed these thoughts, and thus just been here in breath. So will walk the self forgiveness and self commitments to correct this point, and thus stop myself from going into these reactions of abuse through prevention within my own self will.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Day 195 –"Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - Self Responsbility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow within secret a thought about the girl who was confronting me about being late that ‘she is such a bitch’ using this judgment of her as negative to justify and validate my reactions of anger towards her through becoming aggressive within my thinking and my movements, and seeing her within competition, that I had to now prove her wrong, she is attacking me and causing me to feel bad about myself, so she must be stopped. I realize that this initial back chat thought of ‘she is a bitch’ helped fuel and activate the chain reaction of anger and aggression towards her in my behavior based on accepting myself to become the victim, and thus separating myself from the solution as her, understanding were she is coming from, understanding the reality of what is going on within the facts that are true, and thus coming to a solution within and as myself in taking responsibility for myself and my actions to do what is best for all and treat the other as myself because she is me.

I commit myself to when and as these initial backchat thoughts come of a judgment towards another as a point of competition in seeing it as a personal attack, I stop myself form going into those thoughts in secret by seeing them, not following them through using my breath and breathing through the energy of anger that was activated through the thought. I commit to walk my equality with others by pushing myself and commit to understanding the facts before I speak and make a decision, I stop rushing to judgment within assumption, by stopping these thoughts. I commit myself to stop the thoughts when they come by being physical and breathing through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that ‘I am only a few minutes late, it’s not my fault’, implying and thus living this point out of that is the fault of the other who is confronting me, by rushing to judgment and trying to prove her wrong within being late, actually going into a lie to make myself be right even if that means to be dishonest, if it would save my own self from having to face my fear of being in conflict, I would then lie then to get out of it.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to lie about not knowing what time it was within myself even when I realize and knew that I was late, I still went and walked the steps to try and prove that she was wrong by checking the clock, and thus had to be proven within reality, the physical, to show me the truth. I realize and see that it doesn’t have to get to the point of the physical having to show me my consequence, but I can be the directive principle of myself and in the moment of being confronted, stop the fear, and thus take responsibility for my actions, and create a solution that will work best for both.

I commit myself to when and as I find myself desiring to lie for the sake of my own self interest, I stop and breath and do not accept myself to go into the point of self compromise and thus live it out in the physical where the physical had to show me what is true. I commit myself to walk the physical as an equal participant in the physical in what is best for all as I realize that is best for me, and so walk and face my consequences in my own self direction, and come to solutions within the conflict situations that occur to thus resolve them and stop the continuation of my abuse within allowing the backchats to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from the backchat thoughts allow and accept myself to go into anger and thus go into an attack mode towards the co worker in blaming her for the way I was feeling, and really hiding the fact that I was blaming her for making me face myself and my fear of being confronted and in conflict. I realize and understand that this fear is unnecessary as I realize that it is not a personal attack against me and really it’s just a point or an opportunity for a correction to be made. So I realize that it is to be grateful for this other to give myself the opportunity to face myself and realize that I am in dishonesty, and thus I require correction.

I commit myself to not allow the back chat thoughts to have power over me, and thus stop the point of activation of anger by breathing through all desires to go into them until they have stopped directing me. I commit myself to let go of the fear of conflict and facing people, and thus let go of the fear of being humiliated in a conflict. I stop making it about me and my own insecurities and push myself to accept myself here within how I am and walk a correction process of self understanding and self realization in self honesty, no judgment. I commit to stop judgment of others and myself and walk self acceptance by appreciating others, being grateful for who they are and what they show me of myself, and commit to treat others as my equal focusing on putting myself in the others shoe as it is me. I commit to always bring the point back to myself and stop allowing abuse, and become humble within myself in the appreciation that I am here.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Day 194 - "Taking Things Personally" - Backchat Dimensions - It's Her Fault!

Day 193 – “Taking Things Personal’ Personality – Fear Dimension Self Forgiveness in facing conflict

Looking at the next dimension of this 'talking things personal' personality and it is the Backchat dimensions, this within the previous post point of an event that opened up last week during work. I was confronted by a co worker about being late and thus making her late, and immediately I took it personally due to believing that I was being attacked, looking at it from within self interest rather then equality and oneness. Within taking this point personally, this is also indicating that I was in fear, which I previouslyspoke of, where I go into an attack mode, which I found it first starts in my thoughts. The back chat thoughts is the secret thoughts in the mind that come and are quite deceptive and nasty in nature usually being directed at another, and thus these thoughts are used to generate energy for the mind, which we eventually will act out in our worlds as abuse.

So within this initial point of being confronted about being late, my backchat was 'she is such a bitch, I am only a few minutes late, it's not my fault' and within this backchat, it is more a blame and self justification for my own self interest of not wanting to get yelled at by her and giving myself the most advantageous position as I will within these thoughts, will live out this blame and judgment of this lady through my physical behavior and actions eventually as being rude and unpleasant and thus not actually have to face myself and see that I am the one who is actually in the 'wrong'.

So it's for me to look at this point of accepting this backchat, which was based on my own self interest to make myself not have to face who I really am because I have this belief I am holding onto that 'I am better then others, thus I am right always'. These backchat thoughts were used by myself to generate the picture and energy to justify my position of self interest and make it 'seem' legitimate but in fact it was self dishonest. These thoughts being created to support my self interest and my dishonesty such as, 'she is not nice', 'she is so not easy going' 'she doesn't know how to tell time' 'it's her fault for not reading the clock right'. These being additional back chats that I continued to participate in while the initial backchat above was accepted within me and followed through my own participation. Allowing this continual thinking, it started to activate my emotional body which is how the mind was designed, and I started getting angry and thus I became the monster I had want to create as the other in my world, mirroring myself in the thoughts I am thinking about towards other, becoming unpleasant, very strict and stubburn in my thoughts of what was so, nasty in my assumptions, and mean in my physical behavior.

We really are what we think and so quickly we can become these demonic monsters by allowing these thoughts to accumulate by following them and then charging them up through becoming emotional about what we are thinking about and thus act this emotional state of illusion out in our environments Self honesty is key because this has become now, an automated systematic response produced by the mind through our participation as accepting, allowing, and continual participation in these back chat secret thoughts in our head. So here walking the disengagement of this systematic responses within and through my mind through self forgiveness, self investigation, self correction through and as my self honesty and thus stop all participation within each component of the mind, the thoughts, the reactions and the physical behaviors to really become equal as the physical and so be able to conduct always within the consideration of all that is here equal and one to myself.

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Check Marlen out here:
Facebook
Youtube
Blog

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day 115- Self Sabotage Character: Judging My Backchat – Self Corrective Statements

I commit myself to stop the judging of the back thoughts in my mind the moment I see that I go into judgment, through using my breath and saying ‘stop, delete’, continuing this until the judging and thoughts stops.

I commit myself to stop the point of self sabotage within the point of seeing that I am having certain thoughts, where I stop the judgment of myself for having thoughts as I realize and see that the thoughts are me, and thus I can direct them once I accept them as me, so they stop having power over me.

I commit myself to stop the polarity playout of bad/good thoughts, and thus see direct of what the thought is, so thus I can self forgive it, and stop the participation in it within seeing it as me and thus simply changing the starting point. So I commit to stop the point of separation with the thought in having a feeling towards it, stopping the friction of facing it, so thus it can be faced and walked through.

I commit myself to walk the understanding of the mindconsciousness system in where I see and thus can direct the thought creation to be equal and one with it, so thus I can direct it by stopping the participation in it, and through understanding it, I will essentially become it as the creator in full awareness, and then be able to walk it into the starting point of self honesty by stopping all the separation and walking what is best for all here as breath, to eventually having no thoughts as I am here as the physical.

I commit myself to observe and thus become clear with the origins of what the back chat is, so I can see it and thus when it comes about again I can see it for what it is and realize that it is not who I want to live as, and so direct the back chat by stopping the participation in it through deleting it, and from here walk into the physical more by letting the thoughts as back chat go through obviously the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and selfcorrection in living.

I commit myself to walk self discipline in all parts of my world and including this point of stopping my thoughts through direcly stopping it, until it ends.

I commit myself to stop all points of self sabotage, by stopping the participation in this character that was activated as self pity in this point, and thus walk what I have to face as myself as my backchat through writing and self correction until it is done.

I commit myself to stop all emotional and feelings related to my backchat and thus stop energizing it through my reacting to it with energy, and thus stopping the life of the back chat by ending this relationship of me giving the thoughts energy.

I commit myself to stop denying what is in my mind and take responsibility for it and face it, write it out, do self forgiveness, and stop participating in it when it come up, accepting it as me and simply realizing that it needs to stop as it supports nothing that is life.

I commit myself to walk through the fear I have towards the thoughts I create and the mind, and realize that there is nothing to fear as it is what it is, and simply face it and breath, and walk the correction, that is the only way to stop it and correct the point, by facing me as it.

I commit myself to push to stop the judgment of the thoughts and thus breath through all physical reactions, realizing the trigger points, and thus walk the acceptance and thus the correction by ending the participation within it by simply letting go of the attachment to the thoughts through breathing and stopping it by deleting the point after the writing of the point is complete.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

self judgment, self help, stopping self hate, self commitment, change, life obstacles, self will, self correction, back chat, secret mind, desteni, journey to life, 2012, eqafe

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Day 114 – Self Sabotage Character: Judging My Backchat

Here looking at this point that I see quite often and it’s judging the thoughts that are going through my head. Practically speaking, it’s not very beneficial for me to judge my own thoughts as they are here, and thus I am thinking them, so there is not much that can be changed about that fact. But the fact that I go and observe the thought, and then judge myself here for having these thoughts I am seeing within mind, and then sabotaging myself because of them, seeing myself as twisted or demented for having these thoughts in my mind, I see that I can not and do not at this point practically have the directive will to stop these thoughts as I am judging them, thus I will continue to sabotage myself because I am giving myself no path to a solution to stop the thoughts, because I am the solution and thus I am sabotaging my path to the solution which is through and as me.

So here going to walk out some self forgiveness on this point of judging my back chat thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts that are in my mind within the moment they are happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts in my mind in the moment they are happening and within that judge myself as some how demented or abnormal for having these thoughts go through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts in my mind in the moment they go through in a way that is no support to me as it sabotage my standing as I go into self diminishment based on seeing it in a negative way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts in my mind in the moment and diminish who I am not realizing that these thoughts are generated over a life time through an actual programmed system as the mind as consciousness that is aware of it’s role, and thus seek to enslave the being who is the life that is me, to keep alive and survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the back chat thoughts that are not supportive to life by not directing them but going into a self pity and sabotaging myself to separate myself even more into the mind where in I make it more difficult for myself unnecessarily where in I could stop the sabotage and walk the appropriate tools of self honesty, self forgiveness, and then follow through by changing in my living, but instead diminish myself by judging the thoughts, and making my process longer then it has to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my self discipline in my living, and thus fall back into the mind patterns of sabotage and self diminishment by judging the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the self pity character where in I will deliberately sabotage myself so I don’t have to face myself and how I am in my backchat thoughts as I am ashamed of the thoughts that are there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have shame for the thoughts that are in my head as this give no direction to what I have to do in terms of equalizing myself with the thoughts, and so I realize that the shame is just an indication that I am in self judgment and thus self sabotage as I see and understand the thoughts are me, and thus to change them and direct them I have to accept them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the thoughts that are in my mind because of the fear I have of what others will think of me if they knew the thoughts that I was thinking of them, and thus through this fear sabotage myself as a bad person and demented as I judge the thoughts as bad and demented. I realize and see though that these thoughts and fears are not real, and thus I, from this realization, can walk the correction by seeing the thoughts and fears for what they are- mind patterns generated by my participation in energy, and allowing myself to change so thus I let go of the reactions to the thoughts, and thus stop giving the thoughts life through the participation I give it through energy when I react to it by stopping and walking through the fears of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity playout of my thoughts where in I judge the thoughts that I see are darker and more secret mind thoughts especially of others as me being bad, evil, sick in where I go into a physical reaction of like a shock and my stomach gets tight as I fear the thought of them finding out, and thus suppress the thoughts and discard them to the back of my mind where in I don’t have to face the thought, but essentially can hide from it another day. I realize here though that this will only prolong my process and my self freedom as life, as suppressing and judging the thoughts do nothing to support myself, and do everything for the mind as that enslaves me more into separation and self diminishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of the thoughts I have instead of accepting the thoughts as me, and writing out the self forgiveness to stop the thoughts, and so I can walk equal with others here as life as who we are and stop diminishing myself by judgments and fears, and walk whatever correction is necessary to stand in equality with all life.

Self corrective statements to follow.

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Andrew Gable -

Check Him out here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgableartist
Youtube:http://www.youtube.com/user/andrewgableartist
Blog: http://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

self hate, back chat, secret mind, secret thoughts, secret diary, the secret, backstabbing, friendship, self sabotage, thinking, i think, mind possessed, shame, desteni, journey to life, 2012, eqafe

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Day 52- Backchat Judgments

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to backchat within my head about a being I saw today who was tall and gangly, and judged him as awkward and had a negative charge towards him, a dislike, because of this judgement that he is awkward based on the way he looked in that moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge a being within my mind in secret and make a value judgment of him as negative based on his physical body shape.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the being based on the fact that I could do so in private within my secret mind and not have to face the being, and thus could seek out my own self interest as I actually was judging him because he did not respond and treat me the way I expected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the backchat within and as my mind as a secret place to judge, make fun of, place value on another being and come to conclusions about who they are based on the way I reacted to the being and actually am using this backchat secret mind chamber to take revenge and get myself some energy to get back on top within myself as I accepted myself to feel rejected when I was not greeted in the way I expected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my back chat in my secret mind chamber as a place to abuse others without directly facing them so I can diminish them as I have felt diminished by them on my own terms and not having to face them for real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take actions from another personal as if it was deliberate and done to spite me as I realize these are assumptions that I placed onto others actions and thus went into my secret mind as back chat and diminished and made them less then me so I could within myself see myself as more as I felt low from taking the action by the other personally.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an expectation and desire for others to treat me how I expect to be treated where I gain a good feeling about myself as I have seen that I am accepted by the other and thus gained a high off of this acceptance as energy through good feelings gained within the exchange because I got what I desired, the greeting with praise and making me feel special/liked.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to thus go within the opposite polarity play out when I don't receive what I desired and in this case it was a certain greeting from this person and thus went into inferiority and thus felt less then him because I didn't see what I expected or desired when he greeted me and thus I wanted to seek revenge and blame him for me feeling this rejection.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go within my mind as backchat and diminish the other within blame and rejection based on me taking his actions personally and thus went into the depression because i didn't get what I desired and thus went into revenge based on the blame and rejection feeling that I accepted and allowed to exist within me being desiring something and expecting it to come true.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create desires and exceptions on others and life in general when there is no guarantee nor predictability to how anyone is to be and act thus also their is no limitations as i see and walk direct with all in common sense and see all here as myself so thus accept me here within and as all with no separation such as the idea that I have been rejected, not real made up because I separated myself to a feeling that was generated because I desire something more, existing in positive/negative when I realize that I am both here, I am all that exist, I walk me back here in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as the polarity play out of elated/diminished based on my outside world where I seek and desire confirmation for myself and acceptance of myself based on not desiring to get to know myself and face myself because I don't see myself as worthy to others thus seeking acceptance because of this inferiority I am existing as.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react in blame and depression based on anothers actions towards me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by others instead of giving myself the gift of acceptance and understanding of myself as life one with all and living my life and my actions best for all and thus one and equal where this will be how I live one and equal with all as self thus stopping the polarities.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat and diminish another based on my acceptance and allowance of taking things personally based on my own self judgment and unworthiness I am feeling within myself and thus taking my pain and hurt out onto others because I am existing in one side of the good/bad polarity not realizing that I am both and have to equalize myself to ever feel stable as I am creating the instability within myself by living into one and resisting the other side of the pole.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the other being and call him names within my back chat and thus create a negative charge when I was with him as I accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less then him and thus go into competition and diminish.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into competition to try and be more then another when this is only based on my lack of self worth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give me life here and thus exist within the mind as illusions as separations from who I realize I am as life and thus I walk to correction and stop the separation with life through stopping the separation within myself and accepting myself for who I am one and equal with all life.

When and as I come to a being where I judge and go into my backchat, I immediately stop and breath through the desire to participate in the mind. I stop and move myself physically to bring me back here. Once stable I find the points that I am not accepting within myself that cause me to react and become abusive and thus walk it into correction through self forgiveness and self corrective statements and thus then through my living.

I commit to stopping my secret mind as back chat and so live here within and as the physical as breath and physical movement with my human physical body.

I commit to stopping taking actions by others personally and go into mind delusions as inferiority and superiority and see myself within polarities in competition to the others, but rather breath, stop, and walk with in common sense and practical living in equality with self and so with all.

I commit to stop taking things personally and stop the abuse within seeing myself less then others, I commit to walk equal with all by walking my process to correction until their is no movement and I am here.

back chat, secret mind, secret life of a abuser, mind demon, demons within, vendetta against another, equality, eqafe, equal life, journey to life, desteni, 2012