Saturday, July 14, 2012

Day 83- 'I am a Tough Female" Character - Part 1

Here walking through the point of considering myself as a tough female and how I have defined myself in relation to males and females in this world in a point of competition and fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself as a tough female because within myself I saw myself as weak and thus I overcompensated for the weakness within me with this tough exterior that I would present to others to be seen in a certain way to hide the fear I felt within myself towards others presences. I realize and see within this point of defining myself as weak and thus manifesting myself as strong on the exterior is splitting my expression within who I am thus I will be not able to be stable within it thus shifting back and forth and equality aligned as self here as physical is lost. Within this I realize to stabilize myself I must walk the point of defining myself as weak/strong by letting it go and walking here as breath to align with my physical body and life as one with me through living this within and as physical expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself as weak within myself based on taking points personally within how I have been treated by others where they would call me names and I would create an idea within this that I am thus weak and not strong because others are being nasty to me thus I must have something wrong with me to be treated in such a way. I realize within and as this point that one I can not take other peoples words personally as I realize all here are walking the process of self realization and thus all beings are on different levels of process and thus 'do not know what they do' so to speak as many are not as aware of process, mind systems, and who they are in relation to it yet, so thus I walk patience and understanding in equality to life and stop myself from taking others worlds personally.

Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when as a child deliberately abuse and name call others in my world who I defined as weak and thus gave myself the permission to call them out and abuse them because I beLIEved it was ok because I was better then that other based on the definitions I held of being more superior thus I abused life equal and one to how I was abused so thus I could be shown and understand that life is equal in all ways and I will get what I give, so thus here I realize and understand that I must stop abusing others in this world and walk the physical process of understanding and getting to know another through becoming this as myself and stop the abuse as ego to try and be seen as more thus this is to accept myself and see that I am here no need to abuse others in self interest. I realize within this point of showing myself to myself when I diminish another I diminish myself and in return will receive what I give so rather I use my understanding of who I am as all life and live equal and one as how I would want to be treated until this is who I am in every breath. I stop the abuse of life as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this comparison point as a child found that when I demonstrated that I was tough and was able to compete with boys that I gained respect by the males and thus within myself found that I enjoyed this respect as I saw females in fear due to not seeing myself pretty in relation to them so thus I always saw myself inferior to the females as in school it was much set up within groups and I did not see myself fit into the group of girls that I desired to be with that were the popular ones as I saw them all as prettier to me and thus wasn't able to win here, I had no chance within this competition point.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the children within  my school years as females in particular as unapproachable and in fear based on not seeing myself equal to them within looks and thus judging myself as less then. Within this judgment going into an inFEARior stance towards them and not feeling ok around them, thus I avoided them and went into diminishment within myself when around them. To equalize myself as my ego of desire to be perfect/best/on top, I would within this point of inferior towards them go into the same point I was seeing towards myself towards the other females by seeing then females as weak. I realize within this point that the females as my classmates where no threat to me nor was I inferior to them here as physical beings, but created this in-fear-ior stance towards them based on not accepting myself as who I am as physical life but desiring something more, desiring to be seen as pretty/gain the most attention/be perfect within myself so thus I can within my world be on top, be able to compete with others, and thus be able to survive in my world with others. I realize that I do not need to survive here so I must stop my separation within myself, see myself for who I am, and let go of the judgments and desires to be seen as the best/prettiest/most perfect, and stop the judgment of others and diminishment of others by letting go of my ego and be equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself within and as an inferior stance towards the females in my world based on comparing my picture to their picture and thus not seeing myself equal to their picture but either being more or less, and thus separating myself into ideas of my mind which are not real and thus a trap to enslave so I do not equalize but stay separate from  myself because I realize the other being is more then a picture and I am more then a picture were we are actually one and equal here and thus are not defined by any point but the equality that lives as life here as myself and within all.

Forgiveness to continue....

I commit myself to walk and re-align myself with and as the physical human body as my ground point within this world to life here in oneness and equality through letting go of all polarity play outs and judgments of myself as more or less then any being here that exist as I realize and commit to walk the walk of equality and oneness with all life as myself here as I breath.

I commit myself to walk humbleness with other beings here as well as myself to stop taking words, actions, ideas, thoughts, beliefs, gestures, behaviors, characters, personalities and all separated created entities within and as the mind consciousness system as the human being and thus walk myself here first in equalizing myself to all and thus walk as an example for others to see/show the way to self realization that we are not our minds, and thus simply are defined by nothing thus can and if will be free as life within this way of living.

I commit myself to stop the abuse of myself as others and thus stop the judgment by accepting myself and all life through the realization I see that I am all that is here and thus I must walk this as myself through stopping the abuse as myself. I commit to treat all life in ways I would want to be treated and always put myself in the shoes of another to realize that we are one here until this is done.

I commit myself to let go of the beauty point within myself as I realize that it is an abuse to life, defining life by a point that is a commercial as consumerism that I have allowed to define who I am, thus I commit to walk this definition through letting it go and stopping all reactions within myself through self forgiveness and corrective action until no picture move me and I am here.

I commit myself to stop to judgment of others due to desire to be more thus I commit to stop my ego and thus within this stopping I commit to stop the diminishment of others in my mind so thus I can be more again within myself. I commit to stop abuse by letting go of my desire to be more then others and also seeing myself less then others.
I commit to walk my physical process of self forgiveness, self honesty, self investigation, and self correction to let go of my mind from directing me and thus be equal so life is free to live equal and one as who we are as life.

ego, tough female, athlete, strong women, iron women, men vs. women, bullied, beauty, prettiest girl, model competitions, popular kids, equal life, equality, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journey to life, garbrielle goodroe

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