Monday, July 30, 2012

Day 95- 'I need to look good' Character

Looking at this character play out that I often go into of ‘I need to look good’, where I will go into pictures in my mind of how I need to look within this it will be pictures of myself that I like or moments from the past that I remember where I look good when looking in the mirror, and then will go into the desire to look like that. The emotions that come up are like an excitement as I now know that I have direction in what I have to do to make myself be acceptable and thus fit into the picture in my mind that I am desiring so I can look good for others. Obviously within this pattern, this is a fuckup, so thus I will sort it out through self forgiveness and self corrective statements.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a point of excitement when I see that I have a point of reference as a picture in my mind so thus I can use to determine who I am and who I have to be to look good for others. I realize and see that this is not who I really want to be as it’s a fuck up where I am living for others, sabotaging my self stand as life, and causing abuse through separating myself and comparing myself to looks rather then living our truth that all here is me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a point of desire that ‘I need to look good’ thus defining myself by my picture where then I have to live up to this point to fulfill what I want to be as ‘looking good’ so separating myself from life and from others through living for myself as a need to look good and disregarding other if it don’t fit into my self interest want of ‘looking good’. I realize and understand that within this desire and need to look good for others I am not in acceptance of myself and thus only living from ego as I want to impress others and thus not standing equal with them thus not living to my full potential and thus not living the best for life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to change who I am within this case the way I look so I can gain friends or impress others. I realize and see that this is not even real as this is only happening within my mind and I don’t even ask for direct feedback from others as I am too afraid for the real answer, so thus I am completely accessing my own mind to make myself feel good as I can determine the way I look and this always based on the picture I hold of myself, which will be in a polarity of pretty/ugly as this is all I am defining myself by missing real life here in the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to entrap myself within my own mind where I play off of pictures of good/bad where I determine how I am based on a memory I hold of what I need to look like, and thus then determine if I am presentable or not thus good or not based on my judgment of myself. I realize and understand that within this point of judgment where I determine myself based on a picture in my mind, I will be continuously separate myself from myself as life and never be able to be stable here to thus be able to understand and know others from a real perspective from real life because I am in my mind looking at these pictures of me as what I desire to look like never being real only pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use pictures in my mind to determine who I am in life and limit me to images in my mind that are a snapshot in time that I am holding onto because within myself I am not accepting who I am. I realize and understand that I must accept myself through the continuous stopping of these pictures from having power over me by stating who I am within it and not accepting myself to give them power by giving them my attention.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to determine who I am as life within a need as a desire to look good based on the fact that I am holding memories of my past where I determined that I was not good looking, thus I realize and see based on this memory of me seeing myself as not good looking that then I will immediately go into the pattern of seeing a need to be good looking, so I must let go of the memory as this point that I am not good looking and stand within the physical by not participating in the memory nor the polarity play-out of seeing myself within a need to achieve good looks.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold on to this point of looks within defining myself and others by this point of ‘needing to look good’, and thus going into a desire as need to look good because I have become a character in a play where I have to show everyone my best so thus I can be accepted and not have to face the fear that I have of not being accepted. I realize and see that living into this point of desire and need because I am accepting fear to direct me I will not live but be subject and enslaved to these points within myself because I am believing that this is who I am when I realize this is not who I am and that I don’t have to live into fears and desires through stopping them from directing me, and become a being who is stable and walking the path to life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself within a point of comparison with myself and others that there is a need to look a certain way and thus limit myself by only looking and being pictures, when I in essence am all that life is. I realize and see that it’s quite limiting as well as abusive within only looking at pictures and determining life by pictures as this is not who we are, we are much more then pictures thus I stop determining myself with such a point and live equal with all here in physical reality where we are.

I commit myself to stop separating myself through emotional feelings of feeling good where I am actually limiting myself to only be a picture by stopping the separation of myself through stopping feelings of feeling good, instead of being stable and here equal with all the real stability of life.

I commit myself to stop this point of acceptance from others where I go into a desire to change myself to impress others to be liked.

I commit myself to stop the pictured memories in my mind of what I looked like in the past and thus use physical reality as my stable movement point, where I stop the picture, and immediately go into my physical participation of what I am doing to thus stop defining myself from my mind and live here as the physical in what I am living.

I commit myself to let go of the pictures of definition of myself in my mind and live from the physical reality meaning living within and as my physical human body where I am here now.

I commit myself to stop the polarity play-out of seeing me as not good looking and thus go into the point of seeing myself within a need to become good looking.

I commit myself to walk the path to life by not allowing and accepting myself to go into the point of desire where I am a certain way to have others like me, but live here for me in my physical in what is best for all through acceptance where what determine who I am is what is equal and one and will be best for the situation I am in, always stopping my mind from going into desires, wants, needs, and pictures by me stopping comparison and participation in these pictures.

I commit myself to stop defining life by pictures by stopping the judgment and comparison of others through the way the look is, and thus decide in each moment this point come up and live and breath my decision which is stop participating in my mind as energy and stop my self interest to be seen.

looking good, need for beauty, stop the mind, human machine, human robot, picture perfect, dress to impress, self interest, ego, character, journey to life, eqafe, desteni, equal life, 2012, 

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