Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 88 - 'Postponement' Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when committing myself to sit down and write my blog, I accept the thought that 'I am too tired and will get to it' direct me where I accept and allow myself to cruise on the internet or distract myself with things in my surroundings instead of sitting here opening up the page and typing the point out. I realize and understand that this point of distraction and allowing the thought of 'I am too tired and will get to it (writing)' direct me will continue the postponement character that takes over when I follow thoughts and dont stop the resistances from getting the best of me and thus diminish my full potential in each moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when about to open my blog page up I have a thought of 'let me jusj check facebook' where I will deliberately see within myself that this is just a point for me to not have to push myself in writing because I see that the writing is a 'difficult' thing as it takes effort, patiences, and dedication so thus desiring to have the easy way out and experience the positive as entertainment such as the thought indicate here of 'let me just check facebook'. I realize and understand when I accept and allow myself to follow this thought of 'let me just check facebook' I am sabotaging and distracting myself because I don't want to face and push myself, but I realize within this point that I am here to walk this process and I commit myself to walk these blog writings of self investigation and self forgiveness to change my living to be best for all not only for myself's well being but for the well being of all who will benefit from a world where beings live equal and one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire the easy way in life and a positive experience within my world as I have become addicted to good feelings and a reward system set in place within myself so thus I can entertain myself with illusion and distractions such as this postponement character of allowing the thoughts of 'I am too tired, I will get to it' or 'let me just check facebook' where I have made the mind as entertainment and nice feelings what I desire as a quick fix instead of what is real and lasting here the living of myself in oneness and equality for a world best for all. This I realize will take much dedication, perseverance, and effort to see this through based on the physical movement of myself that will be required to be walk as a minimum of seven years daily time for what has to be done to create myself and this world in a better were beings will in fact live equal and not allow this postponement character through the thoughts of distraction that is not necessary and only there to delay the inevitable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become addicted to nice feelings as a positive experience within my own self interest where all that is considered and cared about is my own self satisfaction and thus indulging within this as I accept the postponement character to direct me through these thoughts where instead of wasting time indulging in my own self satisfaction as a positive experience as entertainment or sleep, I realize I must walk through all thoughts, do not allow them to direct me in that moment, by practically shutting down all other websites and sitting in an upright position and immediately going into my blog writing not accept postponement and seeing it through to it's completion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow desires as 'to do it later and see whats out there; direct me into self sabotage where I wil sabotage my opportunity here to write myself out and sort myself out so I can stand in the face of what is here and be able to remain stable and direct life here as me in what will be best for all. I realize to walk this I must push myself each and everyday through all resistances that come up and desires to postpone and immediately go into the work or task so thus I can stand no matter what and will have lived out all the points and wrote them out so I am here and I am clear.

I commit myself to not accept and allow thoughts of postponement or tiredness to direct me when I realize I have to do a task that will take effort and focus.

I commit myself to walk through all points that come up through self forgiveness of desires to not do a task that is in front of me so I can stand and walk no matter what is here and I can trust that I will direct myself in whats best for all as I have lived in this way.

I commit myself to stop the desire for my own self satisfaction and desire to have an easy time and instead look within the physical practical considerations that are here in what I have to do to walk this process to self equal and one to all that is here and do not stop until it is done, no thoughts but just living til I am here one step at a time.

I commit myself to stop the addiction to energy through breathing through the desires and urges and stopping participating in the thoughts and memories that come up in relation to these points, so thus I am here stable directing me and the energy has dissipated and eventually goes because I don't accept it to direct me any longer.

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Andrew Gable -

Check Him out here:


self dedication, live for real, equality, postponement, postponing, postpone a deadline, procrastination, laziness, i don't want to work, difficult tasks, eqafe, equal life, desteni, 2012, journey to life, gabrielle goodrow

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