Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts

Monday, May 4, 2020

Shame - Part 2 - Living this as A Gateway to our Best Self - Day 595



Through the experience of shame, this shame is when one do something in one's life that creates an outflow in one's behavior that cause harm and abuse in some way, and is in one's face, eventually when we do not in fact take self responsibility for our actions, these points of self compromise and regrettable actions will be lived out. We don't often consider or become aware of our shameful acts, I know before I was walking the desteni i process, I would not very much take note of the times where I did something to cause harm to another. And when I did, all i wanted to do was escape the event or the people and move onto something that made me feel good inside myself, though the shameful occurrence is a truth now and did in fact happen, this fact can't be denied forever. 

So it's not going to go away, it can be suppressed and buried within, but doesn't ever go away and thus will in turn happen again through time because I did not learn from the last event and I didn't do anything to change the outcome to be something different. Thus in this terrible game I play with myself, i not only weaken and harm my own self integrity and self core as a Living being among all other life and life forms that reside among me, I harm and weaken others around, which creates rippled outflows from beings they will touch and integrate with, and thus exponential abuse is created by my one single action to abdicate responsibility and live out my self irresponsibility to change who I am to be able to stand the outflow of what is best for all, thus why not just face the shame and change myself to be a better human being here now, what better opportunity then the one's life gifts to us as our self experiences day in and day out, breathe by breathe. 

At last, until I finally realized the power of self forgiveness and self will in the corrections of myself that is best for all in my self commitments statements, I did not realize the full and total impact my actions not only have on my mental, spiritual, and physical well being, but every other living thing I touch, which in fact is everything, cause self is one and equal to the physical and thus life itself within to the without. Shame I have found to see my false face and find the grace I was equally given by life itself, to give it another chance to see a better way and for me to take that opportunity and create something more and better for myself and so every being I will touch from that moment forward. So we have extraordinary impact in this life, for better or worse, this always defined and refined by self, and I highly suggest the desteni i process tools to work through who we are as shame and the outflows this creates. 

This the kind of commitment I found was required to walk through my shameful acts and really self investigate who I am within myself to in fact give myself the ability to change in the next moments it could occur again. A never giving up on self's ability to learn and change and a point of self willingness to push into unknown territory and suffering in ways, this when one finally face the shame of self and build up the self empowerment of proven living change to do better for oneself and others, you become a being who is not moved, can move self and direct self into eternal life by living and creating for oneself life to others as how you would want it best for yourself.

Also, a willingness to push oneself always beyond what one thought possible, this I found doesn't have to be an extreme type experience, but to in the moments that open up in your day to day life when you face a challenge, to walk through the fear and face the challenge....and build on this each and every day, to each and every moment it opens up in your world. I am not saying this is all you do all day long, no, just be aware of yourself in your day to day moments and start learning how you operate, the mechanics of self. So working with the moments that bring me shame and I started to become aware of these moments by actively taking self responsibility, I found the point of building oneself up over time, slow but sure, with consistency is the most efficient and effective way to just get it done. It's a slow process, but highly interactive and fascinating, and this i found the gift in living the word shame. 

Shame I have redefined as being ashamed - a- sham (false) - e (expression), so it's a false face I am putting on within myself to mask the real evil (= live in reverse) of who I am being and how I am living in moments with myself and so into moments with others in my actual physical everyday moments. Most of the abuse is in specific personality types I have accepted and allowed to live out, such as self inferiority, self righteousness, ego patterns, and much more, though it was patterned and over time I learned my self abusive patterns through the tools and practice daily of listening to eqafe.com, applying self forgiveness in writing and out loud, and commitment statements for myself through learning from writing each forgiveness statements I made. This so the next time I face this shame and stopping the compounding of abuse, I had a directive in my awareness that I spoke or wrote and was able to redirect my living into a way forward that is best for myself and so best for all I meet. So the shift happens in awareness from the mind disturbances to what and how can I change my physical living to be more efficient in my living mechanics of myself, the way I operate, and how my thoughts, words, and actions has a rippled exponential effect for better or worse. 

And I repeated this over and over until I was satisfied with my self honesty within myself in the process point I was practicing changing. I followed my gut and now recognize this as my self core, self honesty, inner voice, sanctuary that I have created within myself. This inner guide and self honesty support with how to move in my reality, what is best to do, how best can I support live, and where can i make a difference to be a better me, more efficient, more impactful is key to self creation i have found in a way that benefit all. 

The sky of life is the limit as far as I am concerned, and within the limits of life principle in what is best for all, certainly heaven on earth can be created by correcting the inner mechanics of self into the outer by common sense self sustainability in taking self responsibility for one's actions. Being ashamed is difficult yes, but I see it as a gift to my highest potential as motivation to move from what I know to be not who I really am into the being that I know i can be, the best of myself as I give myself to others the best I am able to and living this until its proven in the physical. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

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Friday, May 1, 2020

Shame - Part 1 - Living this as a statement of self correction through self forgiveness - Day 594




Shame

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be indebted in the emotional experience of shame in the sense of weakening my life force as a point of punishment and harshness against who i am as a being when i accept and see i have allowed this experience of shame to be manifest as a being i have become that harms and abuse myself as life, where instead of punishing and diminishing me, i learn from this experience once and for all as the experience of doing harm onto another and within that allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the life/being of the other which is equal and one to me, and through this understanding and learning, once and for all change myself to stand as the living solution as who i am to no longer accept and allow this harm and abuse of self and so others to be done again, living the statement enough is enough.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within shame desire to drown in it and experience myself as the most evil and worst being that exist, when i see, realize, and understand the real grace and integrity is within who i am and how i will stand up within myself in the gift that is the shame experience of the emotional baggage that accompanies it to stand within it as my self responsibility to stop in all ways my thoughts, my words, and my actions that creates and outflows within to the without any form of harm that is done onto another and cause another to experience themselves less then what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience within me where i abdicate my responsibility to change who i am within my core as my self honest being awareness as i am fully and understand and realize my full responsibility for every word i speak, every thought i have, and every action i make is equal and one and will create an exponential outflow for better or worse that will create abuse as my outflow or will create a life giving measure that i have equally given to myself as i walk the change process within myself to the without to never allow and accept self abuse and thus allow the abuse of my actions, thoughts, and words to be done onto my world and physical reach, and so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be abusive and harmful within my own mind and within my own thoughts toward myself, and thus accept and allow these abuses to be lived out in my reality onto others because i am not changing this experience within myself due to fear, laziness, and/or lack of will.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to run away from the experience of shame as emotional energy i experience within my body as i stand within my self core and realize i am no longer standing within the self as what is best, but allowing and accepting the thoughts of abuse and harm to be participated in within me and lived out in my actions as spite, manipulation, fear, and abdicating my responsibility for who i am within and as my thoughts, words, and deeds.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live as a statement of who i am in my living that i don’t have the will to change my abusive behavior and so continue to live self abuse and self harm which will be lived out in my reality as abuse and harm to others, and thus i forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see the gift in the shame experience and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not yet have the will to once and for all stop this behavior of self harm and move into a correction process of my self core self honesty where i know the truth of me and who i am, and so do whatever it takes to stop self abuse and live the solution for self in what is best for all so my life beingness can manifest in my highest potential and thus become a plus one for life here in what is best for all as i realize i am the creator of myself and thus my reality as me.

I commit myself to see the emotional experience of shame as a point of support and use this experience to confirm and apply in my living application of who i am within my inner self core to the without to no longer accept and allow this experience of abdicating my responsibility to change myself in my highest honor as what is best for self and so standing and living this as my living declaration of who i am in my reality as a being that supports all in what is best for all as i have proven it within myself to do what is best for self as i change the experience of outflow that created the emotional experience of shame as self abuse to stop and live the solution as my living thought, word and deed until proven in my living reality that i have changed and the shame experience is no longer present as me.

I commit myself to live the word grace as a grateful pace where i stand in gratefulness when this experience of shame comes through and immediately within this grace apply my self commitments of living self forgiveness to forgive myself for the errors of my ways that cause evil in my reality, which is living what is best in reverse, causing harm and abuse as my outflow and using the grace of life to walk the change process i have been gifted to no longer allow this abuse to be lived ever again.

I commit myself to stop all thoughts within myself of self abuse as harm and ill will onto myself in my thoughts, by immediately in real time application apply self forgiveness and changing my actions to stand in the commitments of life giving self, as a way to live in what is best as i learn and understand myself through the for-giveness i give to myself and so can equally give to others as i prove within who i am that i am worthy of life and worthy of standing within and as my self honesty self core point to be an example as life as i have proven and lived this for myself first and foremost in my direct reality and within my self core self honesty point where i prove and so stand as the example in what is best for all as what is best for me.

I commit myself to stop the errors of me as shameful acts, which i have redefined as the a-sham-expression, and start living the real self of who i am as a life giving being that has changed my living will from self harm and self abuse to self care and self love in a grace of giving me the opportunity to forgive and live again in what is best as i learn and grow through my breathes as a being that can stand and support myself to live here in what is best in what is common sense and supports self in my own living application and then by the grace of life here give this understanding and learning of my living to others as a gift as i have given to myself.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
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www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Day 114 – Self Sabotage Character: Judging My Backchat





Here looking at this point that I see quite often and it’s judging the thoughts that are going through my head. Practically speaking, it’s not very beneficial for me to judge my own thoughts as they are here, and thus I am thinking them, so there is not much that can be changed about that fact. But the fact that I go and observe the thought, and then judge myself here for having these thoughts I am seeing within mind, and then sabotaging myself because of them, seeing myself as twisted or demented for having these thoughts in my mind, I see that I can not and do not at this point practically have the directive will to stop these thoughts as I am judging them, thus I will continue to sabotage myself because I am giving myself no path to a solution to stop the thoughts, because I am the solution and thus I am sabotaging my path to the solution which is through and as me.

So here going to walk out some self forgiveness on this point of judging my back chat thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts that are in my mind within the moment they are happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts in my mind in the moment they are happening and within that judge myself as some how demented or abnormal for having these thoughts go through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts in my mind in the moment they go through in a way that is no support to me as it sabotage my standing as I go into self diminishment based on seeing it in a negative way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thoughts in my mind in the moment and diminish who I am not realizing that these thoughts are generated over a life time through an actual programmed system as the mind as consciousness that is aware of it’s role, and thus seek to enslave the being who is the life that is me, to keep alive and survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the back chat thoughts that are not supportive to life by not directing them but going into a self pity and sabotaging myself to separate myself even more into the mind where in I make it more difficult for myself unnecessarily where in I could stop the sabotage and walk the appropriate tools of self honesty, self forgiveness, and then follow through by changing in my living, but instead diminish myself by judging the thoughts, and making my process longer then it has to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my self discipline in my living, and thus fall back into the mind patterns of sabotage and self diminishment by judging the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the self pity character where in I will deliberately sabotage myself so I don’t have to face myself and how I am in my backchat thoughts as I am ashamed of the thoughts that are there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have shame for the thoughts that are in my head as this give no direction to what I have to do in terms of equalizing myself with the thoughts, and so I realize that the shame is just an indication that I am in self judgment and thus self sabotage as I see and understand the thoughts are me, and thus to change them and direct them I have to accept them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the thoughts that are in my mind because of the fear I have of what others will think of me if they knew the thoughts that I was thinking of them, and thus through this fear sabotage myself as a bad person and demented as I judge the thoughts as bad and demented. I realize and see though that these thoughts and fears are not real, and thus I, from this realization, can walk the correction by seeing the thoughts and fears for what they are- mind patterns generated by my participation in energy, and allowing myself to change so thus I let go of the reactions to the thoughts, and thus stop giving the thoughts life through the participation I give it through energy when I react to it by stopping and walking through the fears of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity playout of my thoughts where in I judge the thoughts that I see are darker and more secret mind thoughts especially of others as me being bad, evil, sick in where I go into a physical reaction of like a shock and my stomach gets tight as I fear the thought of them finding out, and thus suppress the thoughts and discard them to the back of my mind where in I don’t have to face the thought, but essentially can hide from it another day. I realize here though that this will only prolong my process and my self freedom as life, as suppressing and judging the thoughts do nothing to support myself, and do everything for the mind as that enslaves me more into separation and self diminishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of the thoughts I have instead of accepting the thoughts as me, and writing out the self forgiveness to stop the thoughts, and so I can walk equal with others here as life as who we are and stop diminishing myself by judgments and fears, and walk whatever correction is necessary to stand in equality with all life.

Self corrective statements to follow.


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self hate, back chat, secret mind, secret thoughts, secret diary, the secret, backstabbing, friendship, self sabotage, thinking, i think, mind possessed, shame, desteni, journey to life, 2012, eqafe