Day 19 - Spitefulness - Wanting things for free

Image by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

www.equalmoney.org

I had a significant moment in my process, actually two, where i got something for free and i desired to keep getting that point for free due to the logic that i deserve it because ..... there is not much within the looking at my reason to why i deserve something for free when in fact it cost money to produce, money equal time, labor, blood, sweat, and agony at times for others. SO why should i get something for free when others have to spend time/energy/resources essentially themselves to produce it, input in and input out, so there is a balance that must occur within all points of the physical. When self/some/all take and take and do not give back, there becomes an imbalance and in imbalance there is suffering, what is best is best within a point of equality and the oneness that we are all the same, from the same source, life that which creates what is here. 

So as been said we are creating as we are life, and thus we produce, but what i have been allowing and accepting is the spite, the spite of my mind consciousness desiring more and to have it 'easier' as i don't have to give my time/effort to earn that money to get that product, i can get it for 'free'! But as i have discussed it never is really for free, there is always a price that is paid, one that either supports life or harms it. Each have a consequence and only one supports self in one's and everyone's best potential. Why would self not want to support all life in a way that end suffering? I can't understand at times how i allow such obvious and deliberate spite and abuse, where i make such dumb and quick decisions due to being addicted to the experience, the rush of energy, the thrill, but again not considering the consequence. 

This decision in spite, the one i made a long time ago, where i wanted something for free, it cost me a lot as i look back in that moment of seeking the mind/spite, and so i did not buy it which would have help many people/families/children, but due to spite i did not buy it cause i didn't get it for free. Missing an opportunity to live a prosperous and fruitful life for myself and many others that i could see, but what did i decide, what came first, my desires, my wants, my experience, my mind, my mine, my precious, my money, and so what did i miss, life, the physical, the others building and creating WITH me, myself as an equal as life, and i understand this is not the way i would like to live. 

I forgive myself for the misstep i took back in that time, not considering the actual physical that goes into creating life, many parts and many points of physical labor and movement, and when done in a willingness of what is best for all, magic happens/life in its limitless forms is birthed, the best we have to offer, but i understand i must forgive myself for my past/harms and rebirth and breathe and live what is best when i come to this point again in my journey. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have things for free in a spiteful way where i understand it's to only benefit my own pocket and have more then what is actually my equal share as a point of exchange one a product the other the ability to prosper with money. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of spitefulness accepting and allowing harm unto another deliberately with the belief that i deserve it, i am saying then i am superior to that other, i am special, when i see, realize, and understand that is an idea do not physical fact as we all are actually here creating as our physical labor in our own capacity and expression, and thus we all deserve life as what is best in equal exchange where all benefit.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see myself as an equal but in separation as specialness and superiority, showing i am not this as i am not standing in what is actual fact that we are all here, all have our own unique expression that is part of what makes us life as the limitless expressions that exist, and that we all require and need what is giving us at this time the ability to live, equal exchange for our services as the ability to live which is at this time money.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define freedom as a way to get out of doing what is best for all, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify harming another through the mind as beliefs as i deserve it and i am thus more special then the other cause i am more experienced or given it freely in the past, when i see realize and understand that circumstances change and what is real here is what matters, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the past and define myself by the past as knowledge instead of understanding the principles of what i am living as doing what is best for all and supporting all as i would like to be supported. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that in the society of living beings where all are equally exchange in a way of what is best for all, freedom will emerge as a natural outflow of a world that is best for all life, where suffering ends, and life is in balance and thus freedom will be a living expression the way in which it was meant to be lived.

I commit myself to stop the ideas and beliefs i deserve something that not considers all life one and equal.

I commit myself to not stop and let go of my ego as desires to get something for free so i don't have to work as hard, when i see realize and understand this is harmful and is a miscalculation of the physical reality and what is best for all life.

I commit myself to stand in the shoes of the other and do my best to stand the principle of balance giving as i'd like to receive. 

I commit myself to walk the path of not giving up on myself and all until an equality system in what is best for all is here as the physical reality and freedom is lived as an expression of myself. 

I commit myself to understand that life is not free but is at a cost, where it is being expressed within a physical action of others as me equal and one and the balance of equality in what is best has to be given back, as i'd like if i was in there shoes. 

Support on principled living -

www.desteni.org

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

—Children’s eyes—

Situations come and go, but self always remain, death due us part where life comes to say, who stand in honor, those who have stood the test of time to rebirth for the children to come in joy as divine. 

The children of this world, oh how ive fell short. They deserve better, they deserve the best, but self interest comes and takes it’s girth, consuming to consume and fill selfs belly in spite. 

Sucking dry the human in shame, as i hang my head low i can’t bear what remains. Remains of me after such atrocious visions, children starve on our televisions, how can we live in such a world as this. 

There will be a day where life takes its keep, the children will remain and be free that is for sure, as it should be, without this mighty gore. 

The human who do not stand as life, that is what must be eradicated, the mind demons, we all have it, it is not hidden. 

Self forgiveness with self honesty will surely help us rise, to again be able to face our children in the eyes. Doing our best for all as what is life’s measure in equality and oneness, its greater then any mind treasure. Fear not as thats useless and cause fret and horror, be brave and stand firm, it will one day be over.

Dolphins and Humans Can Be Friends - Earth Haven/Desteni Research - Day 596

Photo Source

I don't know if this is the case for these dolphins, but it's cool to get a glimpse for a moment of how inter species on this planet can interact and live co-habitually, for this to manifest and be created for real with humans specifically and nature's absolute magnificence and beauty, we as the human being, each single one of us, must take self responsibility for one's thoughts, words, and actions. Any thing less then this such as reaction as blame or pointing fingers or fighting cause outflows of abuse and thus is unacceptable, so as a solution that has supported me out of the abuse and unacceptable-ness of myself I found self forgiveness.

This helped me understand myself in my ill behavior that caused harm, and so find the correction within the self forgiveness and living change. I am only speaking this way because i have been living these tools for the past 10 plus years, i am not preaching or trying to put anything onto you, i am more sharing my experience of what worked for me.

We all i know want peace in our lands, with our neighbors, with all the creatures of this land, cause these creatures equally have to survive, have partners and friends they live there days with, have children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and close confidants, we are all beings here animal, human, forest alike. Though we need to walk the manifested consequence of what we face as fear and realize we are here and we are capable to change ourselves and so change our reality, which in turn will help others have examples of change, and we can start tipping the scales to solution oriented living and loving each other as neighbors and helping each other whenever it is needed no matter what cause we know in the same position i would like someone to help and teach me.

Let's use this pandemic and isolation to get real with self, and take action. Move self in the moments we have been gifted on this planet earth, our home and lets make it a safe haven for all. It's possible, let animals become your friends, the one's you don't like, start investigating why you are reacting, get common sensical with it, spiders are tiny little creatures that for the most part are harmless, you can research different spiders when you see them and get to know there species, flicking something away like a spider who is actually a living being that feels pain and going back to your candy crush game is not cool in any way shape or form. Nature and animals are pure beings in many ways and will mirror back who you are with a grace and stability that is only awe inspiring to me.

Check out the links of life and self support below, and let's connect, much work to do, but lets start enjoying ourselves and this earth in the principles of life as what is best for all as best for self and start creating the world we want our children to be safe and loved and cared for by all no matter what. Thanks all.


www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner self forgiveness course




www.patreon.com/earthhaven - community building network built with life principles

              Artwork by: Gabriel Aceves Higareda

www.eqafe.com - library of existences

Who am I as Self Honesty? Day 569

WHO AM I AS SELF HONESTY?

What is first coming up for me when I ask this question to myself is that I am still learning lol. I mean this concept within a practice of living and dedicating myself to it has spanned more than 9 years now, though it continues to expand and grow as I do. Self honesty has been one of the most challenging paths as well as rewarding in my life. I find this concept is actually quite simple in the understanding within the application of what is best for all meaning to live what is best for all one has to live self-honesty, though that is not really getting to the route and core of what this concept and practice actually entails cause self honesty is more then just being honest with oneself.

For me personally, I feel I have always had a connection with my potential, the best of me and seeing the best in people, though back in the beginning of my desteni i process I found that this was hidden and suppressed deep within me, i could mainly only see the worst in my self and what i was living and so the worst in others. This creating mostly outflows of limitation and abuse, which was not who i actually wanted to be, but until desteni i really had no other way of seeing myself out of it.

So self-honesty for me has been a gift and a vehicle within me of movement to be my best, it is moving within me in the sense that whatever is here i work with self honesty and that to me is the truth of who i am in those moments and what i am creating, getting real with those facts and within that making all the effort necessary to change myself to be my best self, this effort of change in seeing the worst of myself or in my addictions or in my laziness patterns, it is difficult to move, though using the tools and standing firm in my desicion to be self honest, what I have scripted for myself in my self forgiveness and self commitment statements supports me to live this through eventually. Though self honesty can also be lived when one is not living one's best, being self honest in the fact that you are struggle, not getting it, not changing as fast as one wanted, these are all points of one's self honesty at times in one's process, yet being self honest is the way to see the realizations as is and then work with the steps to start the process of change. Commitment to change is also a key in living and dedicating oneself to live self honesty in one's day to day life. 

Self-honesty to me is the way to the heaven on earth, it is a solution through and through for the ills we face within us and without. It is also beautiful as it aligns with all in all ways and all can participate in it and all will get equal results if applied within oneself and in one's life, which is a changed being, a better version, and aligning to what is best for all. When all humans live this as there inner code the outflow consequences of who we are will equally change from survival and suffering to self awareness, self expansion, and creativity in our highest potential. So I see potential only in this word and the living out of self in this way, through and through, for all life as self here.

Self-honesty is always about self and I have found always steered me back to this point, self first, self here, who am I, and thus what am i going to live? These are incredible words to embody and embrace, a fantastic adventure it has been and will continue to be into the foreseeable future. Self-honesty is life and thus when life is lived in self-honesty one becomes balanced and more and more aligned to the natural order of life that has always been here, it is our best selves lived. 

Living the Word Freedom - Redefined - Day 555

Freedom

Current Allocation:

Freedom is something i desire but believe it’s out of reach for my life in this world. There is a yearning for freedom, like i know it’s there, it’s somewhere, it’s possible, yet it does not seem as if it ever will be reached without great effort and inner and outer change. Freedom also is represented in my mind through flags and fireworks and parades, where it’s symbolized based on holiday parties and festivities ingrained over my life time in my country that my family and friends very much participated in and some in the patriotism of it. I myself felt uncomfortable with the country’s freedom as i know that to get this so called freedom, war was involved thus to me showing that this is not real freedom, and that we will always be enslaved to this mindset that there is some enemy out there and we need to dominate or win to become free. Yet this same dominance and winning status is always under threat and always able to be destroyed through conflict, abuse, and thus suffering. Suffering and freedom to me were counter-intuitive thus counter-productive and essentially made no sense, so my relationship with the word freedom is as if it is a catch phrase, not real, and that those who follow this are insane or just brainwashed and not able to see clearly what makes sense and what doesn’t. I am also seeing anger within me towards the holiday of supposed freedom we celebrate and those who don’t question, yet, i see that this is my own reaction within me of a desire to want to be free for real right now. Though i see it is not yet possible and so i go and blame everyone else when i see, realize, and understand I was equally within that group to such a possessed degree due to culture and it’ll take a process of understanding, support, self forgiveness, and self correction to change the way the world as self lives freedom within and without.

Dictionary Definition:

free·dom

ˈfrēdəm/Submit

noun

1) the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

"we do have some freedom of choice"

2) absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government.

"he was a champion of Irish freedom"

synonyms: independence, self-government, self-determination, self-rule, home rule,

3) sovereignty, nonalignment, autonomy; democracy

"revolution was the only path to freedom”

4) the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.

Etymology:

freedom (n.) Look up freedom at Dictionary.com

Old English freodom "power of self-determination, state of free will; emancipation from slavery, deliverance;" see free (adj.) + -dom. Meaning "exemption from arbitrary or despotic control, civil liberty" is from late 14c. Meaning "possession of particular privileges" is from 1570s. Similar formation in Old Frisian fridom, Dutch vrijdom, Middle Low German vridom. Freedom-rider recorded 1961 in reference to civil rights activists in U.S. trying to integrate bus lines.

It has been said by some physicians, that life is a forced state. The same may be said of freedom. It requires efforts, it presupposes mental and moral qualities of a high order to be generally diffused in the society where it exists. [John C. Calhoun, speech, U.S. House of Representatives, Jan. 31, 1816]

Freedom fighter attested by 1903 (originally with reference to Cuba). Freedom-loving (adj.) is from 1841.

Word Play:

Free-dumb, free-doom, free-dome, free = fear removed

Negative Placement:

Here i see that within myself there is a long path to become free and also a free world where life is able to co-exist and sustain itself as each one individual sustains themselves. So there is a fear here, fear of not having it, and thus more and more being removed from creating it as fear is not free, but the restriction of freedom. So bringing through a degree of stress, anxiety, and claustrophobia within the thought of if ever real freedom will be lived and what comes up within me is this world system, the enslavement of man over everything and everyone into destruction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear that freedom is inaccessible within myself and this world as i go into the idea that freedom is impossible to reach.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for freedom out in the world system, outside of myself, where i need to attain or reach something to become or get freedom.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe freedom is impossible to live within and as my self and so this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the living word of freedom within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project freedom onto the way our system is set up at the moment and believe that it’s never going to be doable with all the abuse as enslavement that is existing here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the world system and the people in the world system as the fault to why freedom is not able to be lived instead of bringing the point back to myself and seeing where in fact i am enslaving and limiting myself within my own self imposed ideas, beliefs, and judgments.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge and create ideas and beliefs about the way in which this world and within myself need to live instead of moving within the freedom of my own expression and through this working with what is here as it is here within the creative mobility that exist within any given moment as i create myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place freedom as an idea within my mind rather then a living word to be physically lived and created and so in this idea move into disempowerment within myself because it seems unattainable.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the function of myself and this world in this moment is not how it will always be and thus potential for growth and change is always here.

I commit myself to release the ideas, beliefs, and judgments of my expression in a moment and allow the expression of what is here as myself become free from limitations and expand within and through who i am as i create myself with what is here.

I commit myself to go into releasing the separation between who i am as the living word freedom moving into a flow of myself in any given moment taking responsibility for who i am and expanding through the support of this word as i move out of the dome of my limitations and exist here free as my fear is removed and i breath and live with and as reality.

Postitive Placement:

On the positive feeling side, I am seeing the word free is very light and electric feeling, like the potential for the best of life is possible within this world and it makes me feel airy and nice inside. There is an inkling of possibility, oh yes like a hope, and here i can see the complacency that settles into my mind and thus my physical where there is no real action of changing self and becoming self responsible through words and living. Thus the idea is nice to think about and ponder in my imagination of how great it’ll be or could be, yet all the while not actually really creating freedom within myself by living as it and so freedom does not yet actually exist cause it stops at the thinking stage because the energy fades and then I get hit with reality and it’s too much work/effort.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of self desire as a dream state of what freedom would look like or feel like as i go imagining in my mind what this will look like or feel like, never actually making significant change to who i am in the physical as my words and living.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a hope of freedom coming one day if this and this and this works out and if i do this and this and this thing in the future soon to come, yet within my actual physical movement there is no significant change as i am spending my time dreaming about freedom and what i could and will be doing instead of actually living it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent within myself with the imaginations of life in a free world and how awesome that would be tailoring it up with different technology and how humans will co-exist with animals and within this waste time and resources on mind generation and not self creation.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to my addictions as positive energy such as lust for a place of peace and freedom, or excitement in the thought of what a world would look and feel like, or the happiness feeling when i see in my mind’s eye all the animals and humans getting along, and within that be fulfilled as the energy releases and i stop actually moving in the physical and changing myself because i have accepted and allowed myself to get off on energy addiction in these imagination feelings that get created thus disempowering me to move myself and limiting my potential to live and become substantial and so do nothing of real value which supports all life.

I commit myself to move into the living words ‘i matter’ as i ground myself into the physical letting go of the imagination thoughts and create myself as matter within how i live in every moment to create real value as i move myself in the physical in what will be best for all life.

I commit myself to live words such as self creation and consistency as i move from my mind illusions into my physical living and letting go of the complacent addiction to go into hope and desire thus not actual do anything to change what is here within and without.

I commit myself to life the word freedom as i release myself from the addictive thought patterns of positive feelings and move into the solidity of my physical living, expanding myself through my limited beliefs and ideas and imaginations and creating myself in a real substantial way that will eventually create all life to be free to express here as the will themselves as all align as i live for myself in what is best for all life.

Re-Defining the Word Freedom:

The direct definition I see for the word freedom is to become free from the dome that is my mind as the limitations within fear i have accepted and allowed to hold me back from living as my creative expression in every moment. Freedom is the removal of fear as i will myself to be free beyond my limitations that is currently existing as my mind consciousness system programs and constructs holding me back from being me and who i am in any given moment as a self created being in what’s best. Freedom is what is beyond the limitations of self imposed mind systems and self live free from fear here.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
https://www.facebook.com/schoolofultimateliving/

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Stepping Beyond the Corruption - Day 379

Today I watched the documentary called ‘Four Horseman’ and it was very well made and informative, I recommend watching. A point I would like to discuss within the movie that I thought notable to mention is the belief within this world as the populous that we are powerless, we have no control over the situation that is on this planet, and that we have no ability to change anything. This is where those that desire to have all the power and wealth win due to this acceptance and allowance within us to not govern or take part in the political system, but allow others to walk and direct it as they wish. This way of existing has been designed specifically with things that’ll distract us from  really paying attention to how our money is being made, what our taxes are going to, the specific reasons and clarification on the taxes we are paying, who is benefitting from the money system and why, and what is the intricacies of how the money system in fact operates, and many atrocious points are being created where many many suffer and die due to the results.

We will not learn of these atrocities in school or in universities because of the intricacies that this power that wants all the wealth has invested in the pursuit for power and profit, all avenues where one would gain a knowledgable understanding of what in fact is going on and how in fact our system is being run in the conventional sense of today such as newspapers and media talk heads are being controlled and filtered to only benefit those few in power disregarding what is best for all. One of the more important mediums that we have for those interested and willing to educate themselves outside the main stream is through the vast amount of information on the internet. There is also many books and documentaries out there that can indeed be accessed through the internet that are very informative to this state of affairs. So pushing oneself to learn and research what in fact is going on takes time and a vast amount of resources to start to gain a full picture of what is here and what has to change, but well worth the effort cause one gain freedom and directive power through this research and applying common sense within it.

So the power is within each one and their willingness to educate themselves and become a stand and plus one in the group that will be walking the change in the system that will create a way for it to function for all. Also, creating a transparency and an efficiency that will ensure a sustained natural living environment as well as human’s living conditions being raised. The power and wealth has gone unchecked and now they have many different fail safes such as the lobbyist and interest groups paid to ensure these interest’s are adhered to through Washington and the politicians within that arena, where they more represent the interest groups rather then the people they were elected to represent. There is enough of everything we need to live here in decencies, but there is not enough for the greed for more, so we have to sort out this relationship with greed and self interest within oneself and I suggest to start at the DIP Lite course where this very process is explained and walked in detail for one to eradicate and change this greed to care for life for all who are willing.

Presenting the Fundamental Human Rights 

by Equal Life Foundation

Also, I suggest investigate and support the living income guarantee where this will be the start to do the things that are necessary such as stop the tax on labor as the income tax and give the worker equal value as the labor they render, back money with value rather then creating it out of thin air which is easily manipulated, ensure the resources of this planet are considered as an equal value to self and protected, and most importantly all will gain access to income that are in need of it to be able to live life in decency and gain the standard of living that all would want for themselves, taking many billions out of inhuman living and suffer-able conditions. It’s time we start this change and taking the actions towards the process to change our way of life to value life rather then profit, and implement this life value on a global scale for all to enjoy and have a life worth living.

Join Us:
DAWN - Democracy Aganist War Now Site - Cast Your Vote
Democracy Against War Now - Facebook Group
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network

Eqafe - Self Perfection Support

Day 87- 'Why did I do that' Character - Self Commitment Statements

Walking the self correction of the this blog - Day 86 - 'Why did I do that' Character through committing myself to change through writing self commitment statements and living the statements in my world, so I no longer accept and allow this point of self sabotage and compromise as the 'Why did I do that' Character.

I commit myself to stop the value judgments of life and defining life within my perceptions as ideas and align myself with physical practical living in what is best for all so thus I live by principles of life one and equal with all and stop the self interest of separation.

I commit myself to align with physical reality within and as myself where I walk the acceptance of me as life in oneness and equality by living this as who I am through expressing myself and stopping the judgments of myself to be a certain way, thus push myself to walk freedom in expression where I stand as self integrity and self respect to create the greatest potential of my beingness and the greatest potential of life here within what is best for all through my living and example as how I would want for myself.

I commit myself to align to physical reality in what is practically necessary to create a world best for all through creating myself in the best way possible, and thus stop the separation of myself within value judgments of I am this and not that, I realize I am one with all and thus I commit myself to align with this as and within my living as words.

I commit myself to walk the alignment of me as life in oneness and equality and stop the judgments and reactions of energy when I see I have lived 'faulty'. I commit to allow myself to move myself in a natural way to walk the correction and stop the energy movements as reactions and emotions/feelings.

I commit myself to let go of the energy as the mind illusion of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and ideas, and walk the correction to life here as the physical in oneness and equality.

I commit to stand here and correct myself when I see the 'why did I do that' character show itself as I let this go, and stop the fear and suppress and stand as the correction by facing what I have to face and living as the principle of what is best for all.

I commit to stop the desire for the approval of others and align myself with life here in whatever form in walking a new world best for all through and as my self living with all those who walk this walk as well to the oneness here as physical as life.

I commit myself to let go of this desire for approval and fear of others humiliating and outcast me, and thus stop the check character I created as self sabotage which keeps me in line to fall in with others approval instead I commit to align with life and not accept anything less then what is best for all and where all life live in equality with how I would want to live for myself.

I commit myself to stand here as me in oneness and equality as all and stop changing myself as my idea, picture, words, actions, to appease others in an attempt to like me.

I commit to walk here as self in humbleness and walk with those who stand for life and walk to align self with the process of oneness and equality to thus become peaceful here and have all life be in support and thus stand by principles as life stopping desire for self acceptance.

I commit to accept myself here among all as me.

I commit myself to let go of the memory of kids teasing me and being outcasted, and thus walk here in breath in what is here to be done in this moment letting go of the past and allowing myself to live here free.

I commit myself to stop the fear of humiliation and being outcasted and thus align with the physical not taking what is here personally realizing life is in the process of alignment to equality and oneness and thus walk my process in writing, self forgiveness, self commitment statements and living, and thus I can walk an example for others as others have done for me.

I commit myself to let go of this 'why did i do that' character and so walk the respect and integrity of myself by allowing myself to enjoy life and express here in freedom and stop the sabotage of myself to an idea that I don't deserve to live.

I commit myself to stop the idea of 'I don't deserve to live' and walk the process to equality were life is free and able to live in this freedom through ourselves living it.

I commit myself to live equal and treat all as myself within this process walk and stop the separation of thoughts, words, deeds, as some are better then others.

I commit myself to stop the desire for perfection within the idea and picture I can create through my mind and stand here within the physical process of creating myself as this world in perfection through my living and the living system I create here with all who are willing to walk one and equal as life.

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Marlen Vargas Del Razo -

Check Her out here:

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo
Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MarlenLife
http://www.youtube.com/user/MarlenVargasDelRazo
Blogs:http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/






self commitment, stopping patterns, stopping addictions, sabotage, self help, freedom, human behavior, integrity, admiration for others, fear at school, outcasted, equality, equal life, eqafe, desteni, 2012,

Day 78- Compromising My Body for Others

I am doing self forgiveness on compromising my body by desiring to look more feminine by putting earrings in my ears, and thus abusing my body by making deliberate holes, when I didn't really care either way but I did it for societies/others approval because I see myself quite masculine. My body has since rejected all earrings in the ear by making it very itchy, irritated, and always closing up so it's very painful to try and put them in. So I since a while now do not wear and will not wear any earrings, and am sorry I compromised myself for approval by others because I am not accepting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am acceptable and ok just the way I am here, that I don't have to distort or change my body or image to become acceptable in the eyes of others or society, and so to do this is based on the fact that I am not accepting myself here and thus am judging myself due to an idea.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to change my image and appearance to be more feminine by putting earrings in my ears because I see myself as masculine and that I am quite boyish in terms of the way I dress and carry myself as I do not enjoy the makeup, dressed up look, but prefer comfortable, casual dress. Here I judge myself as masculine and see this as a negative experience as I realize that I am judging this masculine look as being a lesbian, and I don't desire people to see me as this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge this look of being masculine within a fear of others seeing me in this way and thus assuming that I am a lesbian based on my look because within myself I have judged others look and judged them for being a person who is homosexual as a 'gross' thing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge homosexual behavior as a gross thing based on the fear of myself being this and having others see me in this way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being homosexual based on the stigma and cruelty others show people who express themselves in this way, and thus I fear the ridicule and stigma of being homosexual but realize and creating the abuse and separation I don't want for myself. I realize that this is not who I am and thus I stand up and stop fear and judgment of others expression and who they are and live here in breath with all life equal and one and treat others how I would like to be treated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear others thoughts about me if I was a homosexual and having to face that person based on actually projecting my own prejudices against those who are homosexual and believing that that is what others are thinking of me when I dress more masculine and casual.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being homosexual based on the fear of humiliation from family and friends.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge those who are homosexual and actually fear them being attracted to me or liking me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place my own fear of being homosexual onto others and thus go into a blame towards them for the fear that is actually existent within myself and who I am as a being.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to prove that I like men so no being will think that I am a homosexual.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being called a homosexual by others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anger as violence when my sister called me a dike back when we were fighting when I was younger and I punched her across the face.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use physical anger as violence onto others because I fear facing myself and who I am within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not allow myself to be free with all life within my world and the world as a whole and thus do not discriminate nor judge any being based on any point that is there preference, and only act when life  is not being supported equal and one and life is not being honored in the best way possible for all, allow and accept life as me in all ways.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold on to fear of who I am as a being based on rejection and thus change my physical body or appearance to please others and miss myself within compromising my physical and my self integrity as who I am within myself and stand as the being I am one and equal with all and this include respecting and honoring myself as well as my physical body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cause abuse and pain to my body when I pierced holes in my ears for the satisfaction of others and society approval instead of realizing the only satisfaction I will attain is through myself within being true to myself and not compromising who I am for others but always standing and living within honor and respect of who I am as life and stop compromising myself through fear.

When and as I go into this fear of being seen in a way that I don't desire such as being seen as a homosexual, I stop breath, and let go of this fear and judgment I place on being homosexual. I realize and see no matter who one is within themselves and their expression as long as no abuse is being done within self honesty and life is honored and respected in what is best for all one is free to live and be who one wants to be in terms of who they want to partner up with or express themselves with or as. I stop my fear of this and stand within my own expression in what I would like to do in all facets of life equal and one to all and to self as well, and allow myself to live and express in self comfortability.

When and as I desire to change my physical to please others or society, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go into this point of self compromise and self sabotage, by standing up and facing others as myself, challenging others beliefs and ideas of what society or people should be or look like, and just walk my expression. I stop compromising myself for others and honor me and respect who I am within myself in all ways as life should be.

I commit to stop fearing others expressions within who they are and walk with and get to know others in equality for real stopping the illusions of thoughts, judgments, and ideas, but physical on a real level see who the person is over time and access in common sense and in self honesty equal and one to how I would like to be treated and walk what is real here in physical reality.

I commit to stop fearing what others think of me or who I am within how i express myself and thus stop fearing my own expression. I commit to allow myself to express myself in freedom and without limitation and stop the fear of living me.

I commit to stop the judgment of others within who they are and how they express themselves and allow all life to live without limitation as mind delusions and walk equal and one with others as how I would like to be treated.

I commit to stop abusing my body and physical for the mind as fears and ideas of myself so thus I commit to take responsibility and face myself in who I am here in all ways by self investigating and forgiving myself for the points that do not honor life as myself in oneness and equal, and always walk the correction to direct myself as life in decency and what is best for all.




piercings, pierce my body, tattoos, homosexual, sexuality, sex, fear, society norms, freedom, equality, equal life, eqafe, desteni, journey to life, 2012