Shame - Part 2 - Living this as A Gateway to our Best Self - Day 595

The Awareness of the Eagle through the Portal at Eqafe

Continuation of Day 594 -
Shame - Part 1 - Living this as a statement of self correction through self forgiveness - Day 594

Through the experience of shame, this shame is when one do something in one's life that creates an outflow in one's behavior that cause harm and abuse in some way, and is in one's face, eventually when we do not in fact take self responsibility for our actions, these points of self compromise and regrettable actions will be lived out. We don't often consider or become aware of our shameful acts, I know before I was walking the desteni i process, I would not very much take note of the times where I did something to cause harm to another. And when I did, all i wanted to do was escape the event or the people and move onto something that made me feel good inside myself, though the shameful occurrence is a truth now and did in fact happen, this fact can't be denied forever. 

So it's not going to go away, it can be suppressed and buried within, but doesn't ever go away and thus will in turn happen again through time because I did not learn from the last event and I didn't do anything to change the outcome to be something different. Thus in this terrible game I play with myself, i not only weaken and harm my own self integrity and self core as a Living being among all other life and life forms that reside among me, I harm and weaken others around, which creates rippled outflows from beings they will touch and integrate with, and thus exponential abuse is created by my one single action to abdicate responsibility and live out my self irresponsibility to change who I am to be able to stand the outflow of what is best for all, thus why not just face the shame and change myself to be a better human being here now, what better opportunity then the one's life gifts to us as our self experiences day in and day out, breathe by breathe. 

At last, until I finally realized the power of self forgiveness and self will in the corrections of myself that is best for all in my self commitments statements, I did not realize the full and total impact my actions not only have on my mental, spiritual, and physical well being, but every other living thing I touch, which in fact is everything, cause self is one and equal to the physical and thus life itself within to the without. Shame I have found to see my false face and find the grace I was equally given by life itself, to give it another chance to see a better way and for me to take that opportunity and create something more and better for myself and so every being I will touch from that moment forward. So we have extraordinary impact in this life, for better or worse, this always defined and refined by self, and I highly suggest the desteni i process tools to work through who we are as shame and the outflows this creates. 

This the kind of commitment I found was required to walk through my shameful acts and really self investigate who I am within myself to in fact give myself the ability to change in the next moments it could occur again. A never giving up on self's ability to learn and change and a point of self willingness to push into unknown territory and suffering in ways, this when one finally face the shame of self and build up the self empowerment of proven living change to do better for oneself and others, you become a being who is not moved, can move self and direct self into eternal life by living and creating for oneself life to others as how you would want it best for yourself.

Also, a willingness to push oneself always beyond what one thought possible, this I found doesn't have to be an extreme type experience, but to in the moments that open up in your day to day life when you face a challenge, to walk through the fear and face the challenge....and build on this each and every day, to each and every moment it opens up in your world. I am not saying this is all you do all day long, no, just be aware of yourself in your day to day moments and start learning how you operate, the mechanics of self. So working with the moments that bring me shame and I started to become aware of these moments by actively taking self responsibility, I found the point of building oneself up over time, slow but sure, with consistency is the most efficient and effective way to just get it done. It's a slow process, but highly interactive and fascinating, and this i found the gift in living the word shame. 

Shame I have redefined as being ashamed - a- sham (false) - e (expression), so it's a false face I am putting on within myself to mask the real evil (= live in reverse) of who I am being and how I am living in moments with myself and so into moments with others in my actual physical everyday moments. Most of the abuse is in specific personality types I have accepted and allowed to live out, such as self inferiority, self righteousness, ego patterns, and much more, though it was patterned and over time I learned my self abusive patterns through the tools and practice daily of listening to eqafe.com, applying self forgiveness in writing and out loud, and commitment statements for myself through learning from writing each forgiveness statements I made. This so the next time I face this shame and stopping the compounding of abuse, I had a directive in my awareness that I spoke or wrote and was able to redirect my living into a way forward that is best for myself and so best for all I meet. So the shift happens in awareness from the mind disturbances to what and how can I change my physical living to be more efficient in my living mechanics of myself, the way I operate, and how my thoughts, words, and actions has a rippled exponential effect for better or worse. 

And I repeated this over and over until I was satisfied with my self honesty within myself in the process point I was practicing changing. I followed my gut and now recognize this as my self core, self honesty, inner voice, sanctuary that I have created within myself. This inner guide and self honesty support with how to move in my reality, what is best to do, how best can I support live, and where can i make a difference to be a better me, more efficient, more impactful is key to self creation i have found in a way that benefit all. 

The sky of life is the limit as far as I am concerned, and within the limits of life principle in what is best for all, certainly heaven on earth can be created by correcting the inner mechanics of self into the outer by common sense self sustainability in taking self responsibility for one's actions. Being ashamed is difficult yes, but I see it as a gift to my highest potential as motivation to move from what I know to be not who I really am into the being that I know i can be, the best of myself as I give myself to others the best I am able to and living this until its proven in the physical. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

Check out the weekly chats on destonian.com, they can be every day with the portal, or Monday, Fridays, and Saturday's for sure at 9pm SA time.
Looking forward to meeting you there.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Intimacy - The Foundation for An Empowered Being Part 1 - Day 500

Intimacy is a form of self depth where there is more substantial understanding and investigating of self done, letting go of fears and judgments in a way of deeper understanding and so deeper satisfaction through connecting to the real self, the one who is yearning for substance that will be best within what I am living and how I am treating others as well as myself.

Intimacy also I am seeing it as brutal self honesty were I am not hiding or ignoring any part of myself, but looking at me in a reality sense, direct, and for the purposes of learning and growing to become better. There is a gentleness factor like a mothers touch with a child that I am also seeing is needed based on the nature of what I may find within the depths of self, that it is not to judge self or become emotional in any way, but to realize these were miss takes or actions that were done in ignorance or denying self's participation of the full outflows that may potentially play out. What one can commit to within living the word intimacy is a realization to become open and vulnerable with oneself and so with say a partner whom you are in a relationship with. This can bear rewarding fruit that will birth a more intimate connection with who one is and the other and so a more fulfilling existence with oneself and together. This is because it becomes more then surface knowledge of who each one is which is much more mind based, meaning interpretations, assumptions, perceptions of the other. Through a more intimate connection it becomes more real and direct because you are letting yourself into see you as well as letting another in to see the real you as well, so real life is being lived not a facade we are so use to playing into.

So the way I am seeing it is that becoming intimate is scary in a sense because it feels like you are open to attack, though through becoming caring with yourself and with another, you will support the relationship to become something extra ordinary as the beingness of the beings start to connect, the life within, which starts to supersede the fear and competition layers which is based on survival, and the real selves come through, that which wants to create, grow, and expand into one's world and reality.

Being truthful with yourself and so another is a gift that is able to be given because once you see the truth of self, take hold of it and ownership of it, then you can start the process of change and correction. This builds self trust and trust in relationship with another, like a partner, which creates the platform for lasting honor and respect. This is something for me that I can see I would like for myself and another, living the word intimate and connecting on a more deep level then the usual connections of human beings is something I am committed to live and give to others in my world.

Intimacy –

In to me I see

Enter my sea

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming intimate with myself for fear that I will be embarrassed with what I find.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become embarrassed based on what I find in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind personally instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the information coming up is programs and systems that I have created unconsciously and subconsciously and that they are able to be transformed and changed into something that supports me in the best way possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of becoming intimate with myself and then not being able to handle what I find.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that becoming intimate with myself I will not know how to create that which I desire within this point of intimacy which is a connection to myself in a deep and meaningful way and so to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a certain feeling of closeness and peacefulness when I connect with myself or another in living the word intimate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expectations in what living the word intimate will be like where it’s based on a feeling I will get that makes me feel warm and comfortable inside instead of living this word in my reality where I create intimacy with myself and my partner by what I do and what I say/share rather then getting it through a feeling by someone else’s words/actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be given intimacy by others rather than give it to myself because I believe I am not feminine enough and not gentle enough to have this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not feminine enough to be intimate with myself or another and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate feminine with intimacy when I see, realize, and understand that it’s not a matter of being a specific way but living and acting in specific ways through my self expressing and living words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing all of me and so fear being intimate with myself in all levels.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as harsh and not gentle, and so from here believe that I can’t be intimate with myself or another.

I commit myself to let go of all judgments of what intimacy should be or look like within me and live this word in my world where I remain in self honesty and stop the fear of being open with who I am on all levels.

I commit myself to live the word care, understanding, unconditional listening, and self trust within exploring and becoming intimate with myself.

I commit myself to share myself with out condition to myself and so my partner to build the depth and trust of myself and another to become connected as beings on a level of real value which is our real selves and be open to give as I would like to receive.

So to live the word intimacy is to with a soft touch see me and another for real in a direct and self honest way.

So living the word intimacy practically would look like:

-take care of my physical body through slowing down, having fun/play time, and being outdoors.

-setting a comfortable space where I am relaxed, the room is dim and there is soothing lighting like a candle or soft lights to write.

-in the writing use a topic that I am busy investigating about myself and open it up in detail and within that create ways to live it in my world.

-share the information I found about this investigating with my partner so he is also understanding where I am at and how he can support me to live the words I am practicing to live.

-in my mental realm, stopping and doing forgiveness on any self abusive back chat thoughts that cause me to go into a inferior stand in my reality.

-speak within me words that are supportive for my self development as a life being and practice day by day living these words to empower myself and so those around me.

-express myself with my partner in deep and meaningful ways where I share myself in a stable/calm way that is deep and opening up myself to him.

-express care and appreciation for myself through giving me time to enjoy the pleasures of life such as a bath, a nature walk, a tea and book, a massage, or time to breathe and become self aware.

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Change Is Happening - Day 491

I am writing on my phone so Im going to make this post shorter then usual. I was in church today for a funeral and realized two distinct things. The first one is the action of being here, I have not been in church and particpated with emotions such as when someone close to you has died in quite some time. 

So i was in the pew and the people around me were crying, i haven't ever been in such a position were i was so close to the person who died. So i did experience saddness though when it came up within me i experienced myself being able to stop it from effecting me. I realized i can stop this, i dont have to be in this experience of the emotional toll that comes kn when i fully go into the saddness experience, experiencing the drop in comfortability, the spiral motion of crying,the pressure on the physicsl, i didnt have to play out the whole playout. 

Though, i was sad in the sense of understanding the loss, but i could direct myself to realize that the whole saddness energy is not necessary for me to mourn his death. I felt much more stable and grounded like i was in control, and this i found very enpowering as i could support others more clearly and directly then if i myself was in the energy of saddness and only prepccupied with how sad it is and how horrible i feel about it. There is a strength in stability and its not to disrespect any part of life, but to realize we are more powerful then meets the eye. We have so much potential as beings that live, lets make the new year one of growth for self and all in doing what is best.

The next point ill speak in my next blog. Thanks. 

Stubbornness Dissected - Who am I within this? Day 439

 Photo Source

I have come to realize that I am quite a stubborn person, I have a hard time not getting my way and having to adhere to another’s way of doing things. I have for a while wanted to deny this aspect of myself or simply run away from it because to look at this means I have to face it and change it. I find that within this fear of facing myself within stubbornness, I fear losing my stand I have believed myself to have with others in my world of getting my needs met and making sure that I survive or get taken care of, because in essence if I don’t take care of myself, who will? Though, I have taken this belief of myself to an extreme point where I have believed myself to be able to handle everything, I don’t need anyone in my life, I don’t need help, I can take care of myself, and within standing within this stubborn belief of myself, I have in ways stood alone.

There is benefit’s to having this stand within self as this allows for self sufficiency and self empowerment, but also it can lead to an unbalanced relationship with other people in my world where I push them away and not embrace the ‘gifts’ they have to share with me, be it the treasures of companionship or the harsh reality of facing who I really am in the eyes of another. This truth of self especially coming from an outside source is where I go into a wall of stone cold, where I have an extremely difficult time allowing someone to show me where I am doing something wrong or where I can improve on something. This is specific to the person as each person I meet I find there is a different relationship that develops, but with specific people I have created myself in relation to them in ways where I find myself comfortable and my nature or who I have created as my personalities catered to based on the personality of the other, these relationships I desire as there is an easement to them and I am usually able to get my way eventually.

Now with endeavoring on the desteni I process and standing as a point of living example for those who come after me, I am here and have committed myself to see myself for who I really am, change my nature, and report openly and self honestly to those who will read this. I am finding that I have to correct and change myself to fit into all walks of life, the easy and the difficult, the comfortable and the uncomfortable, I can no longer escape into my comfort zone of just seeking the easy and comfortable path, I have put myself in a position where I stand until I in fact do or stand to lose much in the way of not standing. As within reality there is always consequence to the decisions we make, I no more can pretend that all will be good and the universe will take care of me, as I realize I am a universe unto myself and I am the creator of myself so no one is going to take care of me, I have to take care of myself meaning I have to correct my living to align with life and what is best for all. There is simply no other logical or harmonious way to go about living my life realizing these facts that what is best for all is the law of the universe and treating and considering others as equal and one to self is life.

So I have come to start writing and correcting myself within this current realization of seeing myself within the understanding that I am stubborn and am determined to get my own way without considering all the dimensions of this desire push. I have currently been facing this in my agreement so will walk some self forgiveness in relation to this as well as walking the correction process.

Thanks for reading. 

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:

Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site