Some In-Sights to this Christ-mass Day - Who AM I? Day 571

Christmas, a day of giving. 

Here I have been looking at christmas today due to lots of my life being involved in it even if I didn't want this much christmas in my world lol. For instance, I have a business leadership responsibility where I have to follow certain traditions that have been put in place, such as giving bonus checks out at the end of the year as a gift from the owners to the employees. I also like to give something extra as a gift from the new leadership in the company, which is my cousin and myself, and it be something practical, cool, and an advertisement for the company, this year I gave an embroidered lightweight backpack for people to go hiking, biking, take to the gym, whatever. So I enjoy surprising people with that.

I also am living at my sisters house and she hosts christmas dinner for my family, so I have had to give myself to helping her in many ways due to the fact that there are so many little factors that creates the eventual party that everyone will enjoy with food, drink, bake goods, and children opening presents. So there is christmas everywhere in my world and always has been around this time, though I realize not everyone is able to take a day off and enjoy with there family or friends, I do consider this at all times as best I am able to to not lose sight of what is important and who I am in my life and living. 

So I have been playing with this day today as in recent past I have disliked christmas, not wanting to be a part of it, seeing it as a scam, ect. which in many ways the idea of christmas and how it is directed in our reality is messed up, though I have been redefining it for myself and so I have found a way to stand within it and just be here with myself and everyone else regardless of what is happening and what is out of my control at this time.

I have chosen this word - play in my process to support me to anchor myself into my reality and so instead of becoming depressed or inferior or judgmental or superior, stand within a point of play, having fun, being creative, and being present and this supports with anchoring me into my body and so becoming balanced within who I am quite nicely I have found. The act of being present and finding like an adventure out of your everyday routine or life, makes life quite interesting and enjoyable to walk through. Not every moment, of course, is like this and there are moments where seriousness or some other state of being needs to be lived, but I push myself to balance myself back into this word - play and thus fun and adventure whenever the opportunity arises or I am reminded to do so. 

These words like play, fun, adventure, creative have served me well as I find I a much more at ease within my body and my self as me when actively living them and expanding within them as my living, and through this I have more of an influence and reach within my reality, I am able to connect more to people, hold more communication, eye contact, and intimacy with others, I am able to expand myself within who I am as a person that is here to support, not to harm, and also to expand in my reality, understanding more, understanding myself more, and so the path and journey continues. Always having my pillars of inner support being self honesty, self forgiveness, self introspection, self correction, and living the change within self and one's world, this is a process at desteni, it is a cycle, and it goes deeper and deeper into self, which is equally part of the play, fun, and adventure!

I found this christmas more the living of giving in a truer sense within myself in not only giving gifts as wrapped toys or presents, but actually being the present, being present with others and giving the gift that is my expression, where I make an effort to be present with the other, connect, engage in a way that adds benefit, and so leave the moment with a giving of myself as the fulfillment of who I am and can be in that moment to the best of my ability that I could see and so live. Living my highest self, pushing this as a focus and steadfast point as who I am until it is natural, this being a gift for me and others this christmas, so I am grateful and look forward to the day where I am just here breathing and living what is best for all regardless, it is who I am, simple as that. 

Christmas is just a day to practice this more intently due to the nature of the holiday, eventually it’ll be transcended though for the time being I like to use the day with efficiency and for sure fun, play, and radical self expression in the giving of who I am as the gift itself. 



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My Birthday and the Desteni I Process - Day 537

 

Here I discuss how my living of birthdays have changed since walking the desteni i process, and it might not be what is expected. Have a listen and see how I have changed birthdays to help me become a more effective human being. This in the process of becoming stewards of the earth and creating a world where all Life stands within dignity and what is best.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

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Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material - 

www.Eqafe.com

Forum support: 

www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki: 

wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

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7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

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DIP Lite on Facebook: 

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The Inner Child Within Us All - Day 490

Here speaking with my partner on how he has supported me in accessing and embracing the inner child within myself, and how that has come through in my living. Also, there were many perspectives shared by all of us on how to live this inner child in our day to day lives to enjoy life more and make it more fruitful. Please have a listen and enjoy!

Redefining and Living the Word - Work - Day 409

Photo Source

So I would like to redefine the word work for myself because a point of overworking or overdoing it at work has emerged in my world creating the experiences of being drained or burned out. Also, I am seeing that when I am at work or doing work, I am doing it from a starting point of obligation and within this I have an experience of heaviness and low. So work for me is a negatively charged word where I see that it’s a time where i will be doing things that I don’t enjoy necessarily doing and pushing myself to a point of imbalance where a polarity is created of wanting to have an experience of joy all the time or a positive feeling, and so experience work as a drag and negative, I find myself in a loop and cycling through life in a way that is not supportive and can be and has become exhausting. So I will walk some self forgiveness on the word work and what attachment’s I have to working, and so be able to more clearly see a living redefinition of the word where I can start to live and create my world with it in a new way that is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word work within an energetic experience of heaviness and burden, where I see I have defined this specific time of doing things outside my desired experience when I have ‘free’ time and am at ease and relaxing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of desire achievement attached to who I am within what I do and so when this desire achievement is not met through the experience of positive feelings, I resist doing it and go into a form of low experience much like the experience I go into a lot when I do Work related responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that energy within a positive or negative experience is the same cycle and will create either experiences in varying degrees within my world, creating the consequence of becoming stressed and feeling overworked and balancing it out with burst of positive fun, never here, always in desire for good feelings which I realize never last.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define work within a specific experience as heaviness and burden based on holding onto memories of repetitive actions I have to continue to do over and over in a way to ensure my job is done properly not realizing, seeing, or understanding the greater effect I am having on the bigger picture where I am supporting and assisting the expansion of the goal I and the groups I am working with have set out to accomplish in a way I have found to be within integrity and will support an outcome that is best for all eventually, and so the acts I am walking in the day to day living is supporting the outcome that is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge some of my work as more worthwhile than other parts of my work and so create an imbalance in perception of what I am doing, where I have created a reaction and resistance to who I am in my living when something I am doing is perceived as not worthy which is creating an experience of stress when I see, realize, and understand that each task is and can be lived within breath and done within its ultimate potential that I can live it. I realize and see that what I am doing within the physical can not be judged or compared if done within a point of self honesty and consideration of the whole of what is being walked, all work is equal within the practical living of it in the day to day living activities that I will face while i am on this planet, it is all here to be done, priority is one point to consider, but the judgment of some as less important than others causing unnecessary consequences in myself and others I am engaging with in my world. I commit to stop judging what I am doing and so walk what makes sense and is practical in the moment to achieve the best outcome possible for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare some work as not as worthy as other work and so create a polarity within what I am doing and a resistance to the living of this work to the fullest potential I can then live it if I was here and directly moving as the task/work I was assigned and/or took responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word work within a way where I see it is eating up my life not realizing, seeing, or understanding that this is what is accumulating my life and who I am in each moment, so who I am here no matter what it is that I am doing is equally as important as any other moment that is here because it is creating the "I" that will stand as who I have become.

So work I will redefine as the living of that which I have committed to or been assigned within a manner of responsibility I have accepted and decided to live, and so I realize that work as a word is a placeholder for the times when the living I am doing is focused within making a salary to continue to further myself in the pursuit of self perfection/doing what is best for all and also work is the action of walking what is necessary to be done in self honesty so I can fulfill my purpose to the best of my ability in this life in a way that is defined as more routine, repetitive, structured, and continuous. Work is defined as a job done in this way.

Living the word work as myself, I will walk it as a reminder that this word is supporting me to walk the steps I am pushing towards to be the highest potential I can be in this life, and when I find I am in the experience of feeling low, tired, or burdened while walking my day to day activities and responsibilities, I stop and breath, and look within to see if I have been over doing it to adjust and allow myself rest. I commit myself to walk a balance within work and rest to ensure longevity and the healthy consideration of what my body requires for it’s physical support in this physical reality such as food, exercise, massage, rest, sex and purpose of action in self honest consideration. I commit myself to live the word work as a reminder and a motivation of ensuring I am accumulating a plus one as who I am that will ensure a new self is created that will do what is best for all and support all life I touch to realize and live the same to ensure life prevails and what is best for all is a living expression of who we are, I realize this living starts with myself.

Cool Support to Help With Redefining Words:

Redefining Care - Reptilians - Part 266
Redefining Value - Reptilians - Part 267
Redefining Humble & Considerate - Reptilians - Part 272

Join Us:

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Equal Life Foundation - Site

Day 118- Blame Character Self Commitment Statements

I commit myself to take responsibility for all blame that comes up within me towards, another always bringing it back to myself, and walking the point of correction by facing the reaction in stopping it or directing the point to greater clarity and solution within common sense reasoning.

I commit myself to walk the point of self responsibility when a point of blame comes up within me towards another, by accessing what triggered the reaction of ‘wanting’ to go into blame, and thus direct the point to stop the blame byt not participating in the emotions and breathing through the reactions realizing that it is myself that is creating this reaction thus I am the point of stopping it by stopping the blame.

I commit myself to face myself within the point that brought up a desire to blame as I separated myself from the being and thus seek to regain my standing within ego within my own self interest to be more, thus I stop the point of ego and seeking to be more in self interest, and walk as equals with others in living here in actual equality within others directing myself in the physical instead of separating myself in the mind.

I commit myself to stop all blame on another for the reactions I had which the other triggered within me, thus stopping separation in blame, bringing the point back to myself and seeing what it is that I am not accept of myself and change the point to align with life in equality, I realize I am creating this for myself thus I can stop it.

I commit myself to stop using my mind as a point of self interest where in I will battle with others and make myself the winner, instead I commit to walk the process in the physical, where in I direct the point within myself or with others to resolve what triggered the blame and stop using the mind as the ego to be more.

I commit myself to stop diminishing other’s in my secret mind in blame and anger, and thus walk within the physical to stop the reactions and back chat thoughts, and deal with the situation in common sense.

I commit myself to stop fear of speaking up to others and thus stop taking points personally as this is the mind, and thus I walk what is here as the physical to a point that can be lived by all as self.

I commit myself to stop polarities of seeing myself inferior to others, and walk as an equal, where in I take responsibility for myself and direct myself to what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the blame character for my own self interest gain to be more and gain a positive feeling as winning, I commit to stop the desire to win and gian positive feelings for myself as I realize feelings are real life and they only separate self from what is here in reality.

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blame, character, play, act, responsibility, deadhead, no direction, no life, secret mind, no integrity, lie, cheat, steal, desteni, eqafe, 2012, equal life, 

Day 91 - ‘I am Helpless’ character

Tonight I watched a movie of how the world system is functioning and how we basically accept our enslavement through the acceptance of this current money system where some get more then others, indicating some are more worthy then others as money is life today and thus those with money get to live and those without suffer and will die. This is the reality here, and within the movies and media and all forms of life we are accepting the way this life is were life is valued less then money and thus we allow life to suffer and die.

Within watching these movies, I saw the ‘i am helpless’ character come out where I go into a point of depression and anger where I just want to say all sorts of shit about others that is a release to the helplessness feeling I am feeling within myself. I realize and see this is actually keeping me enslaved by believing I am helpless and thus powerless to change when I see I can change and this world can change and it will only change through changing myself step by step to a being who is able to be trusted by proving I am trustworthy through my words and living. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept the ‘i am helpless’ character where I go into helplessness and blame towards the world and the people in this world when I realize and see that the blame is only worsening the problem and the helplessness is based on the fear that I don’t want to face the world as myself and what is here to be faced as the countless suffering and atrocities to many beings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am helpless when I go into thoughts of how bad it is here and how ruthless people here are not realizing that I am existing in the same way as I am going into the survival mode of ‘do anything to survive’ type mentality where anyone will change to make a better way for themselves even if that means to harm others based on the fact that their is no resources available to many. I realize and see that within this idea of helplessness I am not actually looking at the situation as a whole, but only looking at my own fear and what I will face if I get into a drastic situation or am faced with these dreadful living conditions that so many are faced with.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into fear when I allow myself to go into the helpless feeling that the world is eternally fucked and that we as humans are doomed as I am judging life based on what i am seeing on the media and thus immediately going into fear because I fear pain and suffering. I realize and understand that this fear is a fear of survival of me facing death which I still haven’t accepted and thus blind me to my empowerment as the way to life through my living as one and equal with all and thus working with others and a group that stand for this until it is here and we are here to walk this for and as life. I commit myself to stop this fear of survival and death. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow fear to direct me into a submissive state as the ‘helpless’ character were I am looking for others to help me and save me not realizing and living the solution as myself. I realize and understand there is NO ONE going to save me if I can’t save myself, I can not expect others to save me when I am not willing to live and walk the walk myself, so thus I stop the fear and continue to walk the walk of self honesty, self investigation, self writing, and self forgiveness and thus change my living to honor myself and life in oneness and equality with my realizations of who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear death when I realize this is here and inevitable within and as who I am and thus I must walk myself to life here or in the hereafter it makes no difference I walk process to walk the solution to a world that is best for all by living this in my living and first and foremost stopping the fear of dying.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the way of this world and how life is being lived within a polarity of it is fucked and we are doomed when this is just going into the mind fueling my helpless character more and not living any practical real difference in changing the way of this living to a new way where all are able to benefit and all are able to live free. I realize that I have to stop the mind influence as the ‘helpless’ character as this only causes a depression within me and cause me to be stagnate where I go into a fear state and do not want to move. I realize and understand I must stop my mind thoughts from directing me by focusing on myself here as my breath in what I am doing in each moment as my physical movement and taking it one step at a time which accumulates and thus here is were change is possible through my physical movement not through thinking as the mind reality is not real.

I commit myself to stop going into blame towards this world as 'it is so messed up' and 'we are doomed' when I realize and understand that this is useless and only separate me more from physical reality into my mind were I am lost and go into suppression. 

When and as I go into blame towards the world or events in the world, I breath, stop, and let go of the thoughts of blame, realize what I can do physical practically in that moment to support myself or others and continue walking physical practical support until I am stable and this effort has accumulated to make a real difference.

I commit myself to stop the fear and then going into this helpless character where I go into a depression and submission state by stopping the  fear and this feeling of helplessness and walking what has to be done to change myself into trustworthy being equal to all life.

I commit myself to stop this helpless character by focusing on what I can do in each moment to support life and continue to walk this until I am here and stable and greater change can be walked.

I commit to stop judging this world and the people in it and focus on who I am and how I am living to thus be able to trust myself and walk as an example for others to show who might not be aware of process yet.

I commit to walk out each point that come up within me in separation and support myself through self forgiveness, self honesty, self investigation, and self change to thus be able to stand and walk what has to be walked for life as myself as all here to create a world that is best for all. 






media, movies, doomed humans, helpless, needing help, self help, powerless, elite, mind control, brainwashing, survival instinct, surviving, character, acting, play, desteni, equal life, 2012, eqafe

Day 75- "Sexy Flirt" Character

Here looking at the character I have created as being female and using my sexuality as mannerism to get attention from others especially the opposite sex, this to lure in a man and start the walk to get him in bed and calling him my boyfriend.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create myself in a way to lure in other males through being sexual in my mannerism and words as in flirting, so I can use them for my own happiness and satisfaction within my self interest and addictions. I realize and see that accepting myself to become a certain character as within being sexual in nature to get another to like me is not real liking as I am not real as I am just putting on an act to get my needs met in the end and thus I see and understand I must stop the fake act as putting on this sexual flirt character to lure in a guy as I realize guys are drawn to the sexual side of women and get tempted easily by this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to demean the act of sex within using it as a temptation for males to come to me and pay attention to me so I can get my nice feelings by using my body and words in a sexualized way were I know the man can't resist and thus I get an easy access to the man I desire through using sex as a means to get to an end for me. I realize and understand that within this relationship of using myself as a sex object for men I will be seen in such a way as I am demeaning my self respect and the respect of life in the act of playing a character to get sex from flirting and playing into this sexy role. I realize that I must stop this character playout of the sexual flirtatous character and walk equal and one to the man as myself to thus create equalibrium within the communication and direction within what I stand for and what Life is, which is to be honored and respected within all facets, and not used for my own self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use life in self interest where I comprimise my own self standing by desiring more to have my happiness desires fufilled by being with the man I want and thus using myself as my physical bodies in ways that is not real nor true to who I am as life. I realize and understand to walk the correction I must stop my desires for happiness and thus stop using myself as my body in ways that will not support myself to stand one and equal as others but be seen in a way that is limiting myself and demeaning myself to be just a picture playing a role to get my energy addictions met as nice feelings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stand within this world with integrity where I stop all my desires and wants for my own self fufillment through energy by using myself as my physical body in flaunting it and pretending to be a persona that I am not as the sexy flirty girl. I realize that within this I am only trying to gain the feelings to make myself feel good when I realize that this feeling is limited in itself as it only last but a moment and thus has to continually be generated. Where as life I am here and thus need nothing to move me as I am fufilled here within the oneness and equality of all around me as we stand togther as one, and thus no need for characters or being sexy or flirting to get my needs met, but stand here within stability where I need nothing as I have everything.

I commit myself to stop the character of sexy flirt within and as a chase for others and stand here within myself as life and walk this process to be as life one and equal where nothing moves me but my own physical movement as the directive princple of myself.

I commit myself to walk in stopping my desires for men and using my self as my body within playing into a character to lure men in and use them so I can gain good feeling. I will to stop using myself as my phsyical and stand here equal to men as well as all life and walk what is best for all where I stop all desires of myself.

I commit to walk within writing all the characters I see within me that I play out to gain for myself in my own interest so thus I can stand here in equality with all with nothing to gain nor hide but be myself in expression as life.




sex object, sexuality, sex appeal, sexy women, flirt, flirting, boy crazy, characters, play, acting, pretend, living for others, equality, equal money, equal life, desteni, journey to life, 2012