Dolphins and Humans Can Be Friends - Earth Haven/Desteni Research - Day 596

Photo Source

I don't know if this is the case for these dolphins, but it's cool to get a glimpse for a moment of how inter species on this planet can interact and live co-habitually, for this to manifest and be created for real with humans specifically and nature's absolute magnificence and beauty, we as the human being, each single one of us, must take self responsibility for one's thoughts, words, and actions. Any thing less then this such as reaction as blame or pointing fingers or fighting cause outflows of abuse and thus is unacceptable, so as a solution that has supported me out of the abuse and unacceptable-ness of myself I found self forgiveness.

This helped me understand myself in my ill behavior that caused harm, and so find the correction within the self forgiveness and living change. I am only speaking this way because i have been living these tools for the past 10 plus years, i am not preaching or trying to put anything onto you, i am more sharing my experience of what worked for me.

We all i know want peace in our lands, with our neighbors, with all the creatures of this land, cause these creatures equally have to survive, have partners and friends they live there days with, have children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and close confidants, we are all beings here animal, human, forest alike. Though we need to walk the manifested consequence of what we face as fear and realize we are here and we are capable to change ourselves and so change our reality, which in turn will help others have examples of change, and we can start tipping the scales to solution oriented living and loving each other as neighbors and helping each other whenever it is needed no matter what cause we know in the same position i would like someone to help and teach me.

Let's use this pandemic and isolation to get real with self, and take action. Move self in the moments we have been gifted on this planet earth, our home and lets make it a safe haven for all. It's possible, let animals become your friends, the one's you don't like, start investigating why you are reacting, get common sensical with it, spiders are tiny little creatures that for the most part are harmless, you can research different spiders when you see them and get to know there species, flicking something away like a spider who is actually a living being that feels pain and going back to your candy crush game is not cool in any way shape or form. Nature and animals are pure beings in many ways and will mirror back who you are with a grace and stability that is only awe inspiring to me.

Check out the links of life and self support below, and let's connect, much work to do, but lets start enjoying ourselves and this earth in the principles of life as what is best for all as best for self and start creating the world we want our children to be safe and loved and cared for by all no matter what. Thanks all.


www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner self forgiveness course




www.patreon.com/earthhaven - community building network built with life principles

              Artwork by: Gabriel Aceves Higareda

www.eqafe.com - library of existences

The Gift I Found in Self Acceptance is Self Trust - See How... - Day 562

Original Artwork by: Andrew Gable

Check Out his art at: http://www.andrewgableart.com

Who am I in relation to this word trust, and within that what I am really investigating is I am seeing is the ability to trust myself. What this immediately brings me to is looking within, trusting the voice of myself that is one of deep gentleness and calm that resides within my being. So here I have seen that I have established over my lifetime a sense of trust within myself through what I have learned and become aware of as my inner voice. Though I have walked many years in distinguishing between the voice my inner voice that I trust and the mind chatter or movement that comes up within that is experienced within energy movements as thoughts and emotions/feelings. Energy meaning it has movement to it and in a way, I experience it as I am following the thoughts, the emotions like a chasing in fact of the mind as thoughts. I will experience this energy in my body as tension or irritability for example where my voice gets hard, my body can go rigid, a rise of heat is experienced in the chest, and it can go into an experience of an eruption. As opposed to my inner voice that I have established within me is more experienced within me as a deep settledness, a calm in my body, a silence, and it comes with understanding, a constant knowing of who I am, and this 'i am' is aligned with life principle, what is best. 

I have always had a deep connection with this part of me, this inner voice, even when I was a child and I am sure we all can relate to this, its that knowing that there is something greater and more profound in me and in this life that is not readily here or known, but it is true, it is genuine, and it is supportive, this inner voice that feels like I am touching is good for lack of a better word, it is like a soft hand holding me as a support always. And this I have harnessed to something that I cherish within me all this time and hold to the fact that there is in fact in this world an understanding that this life matters and there is something more to discover, which has sent me on quite a quest to understand more of this understanding and knowledge I have come to know within myself about life.

Trust within myself though has not always been so deep and clear, yes I have had a connection with this deep part of myself, but I also have been very much influenced and created myself from my thinking patterns mainly of self ridicule, self abuse, and self bullying. This often leads to behavior that I take out on others due to not directing these parts of myself in a reasonable way, but more go to diminishing myself and others and so creating a diminished view of myself in this world and in fact creating it. Where at times little to no self-trust was present. 

I have memories of going into kindergarten, and man was I excited to experience the new scene, I heard my sisters and mom talk about it and I couldn’t wait to experience it for myself, the classroom, the books, the toys, the kids, and when I got there I was told that I was going to be tested. All of a sudden the excitement and experience of being in this new place full of adventure now turned into a fearful experience where I didn’t know how I was going to do on these test, was I smart enough to get in? Was I going to have to miss out on this new adventure because I didn’t pass my test? What is the test going to say about me? And so the experience of wonder turned into an experience of fear where I no longer trusted my own experience and how I was learning and interacting with my world, but now I was going to be told who I was through a test I had to take which will open or close the door to this new adventure I was so close to experience. This test was my only way forward I was seeing, I had no ability beside tantrum to let them know that I did not want to be tested and anyways my mom was not having that because I had to go to school, there were no other options.

This experience of school grew more and more into a point of fear and tension for me where i was more concerned with the experience of others and what I was going to be facing in my environment every day in terms of pressures or intense situations where I had to ‘step up’ instead of exploring at my own pace, getting to know and understand for myself what I was interacting with, and so finding my place within it all. Where I was more placing my trust in what I was getting as feedback from my enviroment to define who I was rather then going into myself, who i was, and how i was understanding myself within this new way of life, which is more how we experience ourselves as young children before the schooling years start typically.

This schooling experience I had and started to take in as who I was was contributing to my evolution of fear and self abuse I started to develop due to my warped way of taking in my world and how I interpreted with what I was taking in as input from others, my environment, and how I saw others treat me and people in general. So more just copying what would eventually help me to cope with my inner experiences of fear and tension and the growing perception that there is something wrong with me because I was not always measuring up. The coping experience was to be hard on me, beat myself up, and then I can keep cycling in the blame that I am not good enough, I am the problem, and so stay stuck, where I never actually find out what the real issue is that I am struggling with because I keep reacting to it and making it about having to be perfect, better, or more than who I already am here as my truth. In this stuckness, I don't have to go out of comfort zones, in this stuckness I know me and so life becomes routine, easy, yet perpetually more difficult because this I am not good enough evolves and grows as I keep allowing these experiences to direct me rather me it, so quite the conundrum of self-defeat I have been living through. 

This idea of being broken or damaged contributed to my quest to fix myself, make me more pretty, more smart, more excellent in whatever it is I was competing in and so my measure of who I was was no more on what and how I live in terms of my example as my words in action, what I learned through listening to that inner voice as a child, but more on satisfying an image in my mind I had to live up to. So a lot of my lack of self-trust was because I was not going within, I was not accepting who I was within what I was doing and being ok with what the results were in fact. This lack of self-trust is because I disconnected with my inner truth as the acceptance of who I am within my reality, the truth of the fact that I may not be well trained in something and within that that is ok, I can accept that, learn from it, and then grow to find the solutions that would make sense to make me better.

When we all know intrinsically that we can not be perfect in everything all in one go with all we do, it is just not possible, yet the drive I had for many years was based on this belief.  This acceptance of who I am here in fact and truth, no matter how bad, ugly, or silly it may be is the gateway to experience and get in touch with the self and the truth of oneself as one is in fact working with the reality of who one is in any given moment. Once one is facing the reality of who one is and accepts that, then one can embrace it to learn from it, and from there work on the process of improving and making it better through a real time understanding as one is walking it step by step. 

So trust i am finding is built through self acceptance, accepting the fact of who one is at any given moment to open the door for the truth of self to emerge and so the ability to trust in oneself because one in fact knows who and how one is and how to walk the process of learning, understanding, and growing to new heights or new depths with the information gathered and worked with. Trust then can open up the door to self-expansion, where new heights of growth and depth can be reached because one has accepted and worked with what is real, within and into the without of oneself. 

For more informative links in self-supportive material, check out:

Eqafe - the Process to Self Perfection in Recorded form

http://www.eqafe.com

Desteni I Process - Self Development Support

http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com)

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
https://www.facebook.com/schoolofultimateliving/

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Day 307 – The Innocence of the Womb – Does the Fetus See it this Way?

So recently there has been a set of blogs coming up from the Creation’s Journey to Life blogs written by Bernard Poolman from the Desteni Group regarding the developing fetus in the mother’s womb. This is a natural and common practice we as humans either witness or go through ourselves as parents when a child is conceived and developing within the women, but within these blogs there is a hidden existence that has never been realized, understood, or discovered due to the unattained access that never existed until recently with the portal opening. This being the physical access of direct communication with the life awareness of the fetus itself, this possible again through the portal at Desteni. This access is the access to see beyond all and any normal human view and perception, the portal is able to access all dimensions of existence and speak to all walks of life as well as those from the non-living dimensions (from Death and beyond). So the portal has access to all forms of existence and all forms of existence's has awareness to access and communicate through the portal to the life that is here and who can hear on this planet through a girl's physical body (click links to read more on the portal).

The baby who is now being developed has been interviewed through the portal at 13-14 weeks, and is one of the most absolutely fascinating learning and realizations I have come across yet. He/she speaks about not the development of the physical body as you would have probably presumed, no he/she speaks about the development of the mind system as what we know as consciousness within and throughout the developing physical body that the baby and the mother are busy growing and manifesting. And how the mind integrates and encapsulates quite unnatural and conclusively the natural physical substance as the physical body of the fetus, it’s quite shocking to read because you instinctively want the baby as the innocence of ourselves to be in absolute comfort and protection, but within reading these conversations, you see the limiting and predatory nature the mind system really exists and integrates within us as the physical body to be birthed and lived as part of what we call life here as the human being.

Here is an excerpt from the blog titled:

Day 385: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research –Week 14 (Part One)  - Creations Journey to Life

Discussion between Bernard and the Baby-to-Be (Through the Portal at Desteni)

Fetus: Let me put it to you this way: in the Mind of the Mother-to-Be, there will be a Dominant Relationship to a Parent. That Relationship is then imprinting unto the Mother (that’s Pregnant) - from her Mother or her Father (whichever parent / parental figure the mother has a dominant relationship with in their Minds), and from there that Information is then within the Child already Imprinting. Meaning – the Child is already going to Know ‘What to Expect’ in terms of the Type of Relationship that their Mother is going to have with them.

So for example, what I now see within Leila, in her mind, it’s like centralized there – is her Mother. All of that information is then imprinting into you (Leila), and the Relationship that you had with your mother, for example what parent-child relationship you had with her, how you behaved, her relationship/behavior towards you and it’s already Resonating down to me – for example. In this, what is already being programmed is how I will be in behavior/relationship to you (Leila); our parent-child relationship is already being defined based on your parent-child relationship with your Mother.

Bernard: So that would then be the Knees, because that is the Ego, Survival – ‘How am I Going to Survive All of this?’ So, then that’s why the arms are sore, because they are increasing in discomfort – because it is linked to ‘How am I going to Handle this?’, ‘How am I going to Direct this?’, ‘Who Am I Going to Be within the History of my Forbearers?’ But, that is not seen on a Personal Level that is seen on a Survival Level – Purely as Pattern; which means that even Choices that will be made later on in Life, is already being Formed.

Fetus: The Life Pattern, yes.

Bernard: These Choices will be based-on Survival and will be Based on ‘Gaining Position’, that means Competition – to Establish the Position within the Hierarchy of Beings. That then already Determines What the Being will be in terms of Capacity, because the Capacity will be Governed by the Position in the Hierarchy. “This is All I Am Able to Be” –is the Decision that is already taking shape and also “I cannot be More than This”. That is very much influenced by the Lineage of the Parents and the Parents Before and what they’ve Been in Life in general.

Fetus: The energy of that (the statements of “This is All I Am Able to Be” / “I cannot be More than This”) is experienced as like a ‘Dullness’, as if you’re in a room and you’re contained and you can’t breathe properly or effectively. (This is what the Fetus is already experiencing/becoming aware of as the Limitation that manifested into and as its Beingness with regards to the preprogramming of who/how they’re going to develop into/as based on Survival)

Bernard: Constriction – which is actually Position, because Position is Constriction, a Space-Time Relationship to All Possible Relationships within the Context of the Self-Design, which is based on What has Been Before. Breaking out of that, is in most cases Unlikely, because the Environment is going to be the Parents and the Grandparents and the Family – which Determines Space-Time Position and ‘Who I Am’, ‘Who I Will Be’, ‘Who I Can Be’, ‘What is Possible’ and ‘What is Not Possible’, ‘What is Probable’ and ‘What is the Best Approach to Survive from Birth to Death’. So Death is already Placed as the Position Outcome within the Context of the Past and how to Best Reach the Optimum Death Point through Surviving.

I also recommend these blogs as a continuation of this discussion above:

Day 383: Child Development in the Womb Research

Day 386: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research – Week 14 (Part Two)

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Equal Money System Website

Equal Life Foundation

Photo Source

Day 276 – Intro to the 'F*ck Authority' Character

Within this character, I have found a point of resistance and anger as well as fear being hidden within it, thus having to face that which I fear as other humans who are apparently in my perception stronger and more smart then me. I am first going to look at this within memories I am holding as a kid of interactions with people of authority and how I reacted, and thus how this shaped myself in relationship to people of authority throughout my life.

As a kid, I disliked being yelled at, it made me feel scared within myself, like a shock, and within being yelled at I always felt less about myself because I attached being yelled at as me doing something wrong and being caught and called out and thus this made me feel less then I did before I got caught.

Being caught doing something wrong was not a thing I wanted to have happen because within myself I always wanted to be seen as the best child and have all people like me, even the adults, and when I found someone yell at me, I did not like this because this image I held of myself was thus squashed. I also obviously didn’t like to have to be in trouble or punished for things that I desired to do and that to me where not bad, but with authority they had the prerogative to decide for themselves if it was bad or not, and thus the authority to punish me. This I resisted having others have the authority to punish me without my understanding or permission because why the hell should someone who is older have this power, but then the fear of facing them and standing up would render me into their control and direction. I also questioned myself and who I was because at that time I didn’t know, and thus I did see myself as bad and wrong because these authorities were saying so, but within me at times I didn’t see I was doing wrong and didn't understand why I was being screamed at, so also a confusion grew within me about being yelled at and said this is bad when within myself it didn’t seem bad and thus didn’t make sense. Reaction to the screaming voice instantly created anger because it brought fear and thus this fear made me want to seek revenge on who created this in me in the first place because it wasn't pleasant.

I also had/have a big ego as I like the rewards and attention one gets when they are seen as the best, and so I wanted to be the best and thus have others see me in this way as much as possible, so I would easily resist anything anyone would say to me especially those in authority positions, like parents, teachers, coaches, if the were saying things that didn’t conclude to me being the best, and so I just didn’t want to hear what they had to say at all. I knew myself, I knew what I had to do, and I didn’t need anyone yelling at me and telling me what to do, so really just fuck off please, I am not listening to you, you are so annoying type of attitude. When authority figures would yell at me I grew accustom to just ignoring or attack, like I wouldn’t even hear what they were saying, when I was yelled at and made to feel like I was doing something wrong, or I would attack and go into a defense because I had to defend my honor, me desires for the rewards of being the best or popular, and so I would at any cost easily cut down my enemies which usually turned out to be people in authority if they tried and questioned or changed the outcome I desired of being the best and thus getting what I wanted.

Another point that I find with being with authority figures is when I am yelled at by another, I will go into embarrassment, it's an immediate reaction at times say if I was caught off guard or red handed doing something 'wrong', and I would feel embarrassed to be put in that position by this person who yelled at me. This embarrassment would activate anger within me and this is what fueled the defense mechanism as defending myself and seeing the authority as my enemy. Like I am being bombarded by authority and they were making me feel uncomfortable, so they deserve to pay, and I would fight immensely towards them sometimes directly like with my mom or passively like with my coaches, to prove that I am right and they are the ones who fucked up and stepped too much beyond my boundary of acceptability  My ego did not like to be embarrassed and/or wronged, and especially by another imperfect human trying to tell me that I am bad and they are better then me, and then making me uncomfortable within this. Nope, they were going to have to pay for this, and so I would just go into conflict and create a scene.

But within all of this my mind was split and I was not stable with who I really was, I had no idea who I was or what I really was looking for or defending as I saw within myself how flawed I was acting and abusive as well, so I just went from inferior to superior and back again and thus cycling with others who where doing the same. Never changing and never satisfied, and so always in conflict in my world. I will continue more and write this one out in blogs to come to correct this and thus be stable in my own self direction in the principle of what is best for all. Thanks.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 141- Desiring Approval from Family- Self Commitment

Here I will walk a set of commitment statements to give living direction to myself and all who read this and find relevance in this, to thus change my living from being dependent on others to define who I am to become a being that live life as my own self willed direct in what best for all.

I commit myself to walk my own process of understanding the direction I have given to myself so thus I know the steps and understand the steps as myself to thus be able to walk the steps that support me and life as me based on the principles I live as as one and equal with all that live, so to create practical solutions in my world to help ease life for all and support myself to walk the process of stopping the mind and bringing dignity back to life starting with bringing dignity back as myself by living it.

I commit myself to live for self meaning consider me equal to all others in my world, and thus walk a self process were in I am not defined by another, but I decide and thus define who I am and so know who I am in each moment, where in I can create an outcome for myself that will support life through practicing this in my world and committing to the change that will create me as a new being that is life and the old that is self interested ego ends.

I commit myself to stop fear of being accepted and thus walk my own acceptance by walking my life in the process of creating myself to be in trust of who I am as I live self honesty, so I know in each moment who I will be and thus life in a sense will become easier as I am here as my decision and thus I can live this in all ways as I trust myself because I am honest with myself as life.

I commit myself to walk my own self trust by walking meticiulously to see who I am as my patterns as memories, so I can understand them and so walk the memories to become equal to them, where they stop having power over me and  I can then recreate my living to be someone who is trustworthy and I will support and push myself to support life in all ways I can.

I commit myself to live by principles of what life is as always doing what is best as what I can see in common sense and thus walking my own self trust through the principles of equality and oneness to thus have the path be direct and clear and so no matter if I stand alone or in a group, I walk what is best for all as this is what I would want for myself.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts of I am not good enough or I am not capable enough, and so push myself to learn and understand what it is that I don’t yet, so thus I walk in practicality as learning and stop the self pity as I can’t do it and I don't know how, I realize always I can do it, I just have to walk the steps of learning and thus live it.

I commit myself to walk my process of stopping all self interest and thus transforming this living into a living that will support all, through self forgiveness, self honesty, writing, and self change, so thus I can do all that I can to change these patterns to be from the mind as ego to life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop all points of self interest and secret agendas to get security from my family to have an easy life, when I realize nothing is worth what is going on in this moment as the abuse to life in all areas of this world, so I stop my ignorance and self interest to be happy in my bubble world, write myself out until I am empty, and thus walk the correction to life and living in all ways in what is best, no matter what it takes, I walk and I will stand up for life for a world that is honorable in all ways for all life.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

2012, child, childlike, children, co-dependent, desteni, eqafe, equality, i need you, immature, journey to life, family approval, conflict, mother, motherly love, parents, security, relationships,submissive, teamlife

Day 140- Desiring Approval from Family- Self Forgiveness

Wanting approval from my mom, and if given the approval from my mom, my family will usually follow suit, I desire their approval based on not wanting to lose the support/security that is automatically given when I am in good standing with them. Also, I tend to define myself through their approval of me, such as them being the the last say for me, and then will change myself according to their words, beliefs, opinions, ideas, and so change who I am because I placed more value in how they see things rather then how I see and understand things, like they now better then me.

When I don’t get the approval of the family, I will go into anger and spitefulness and I feel like I have lost a part of myself, and so don’t know how to move forward because I have always moved according to the group consensus and not by my own volition. This showing to myself that I am accepting their way of living and seeing things over my own understanding of life as I have walked it and thus diminishing my own self support within living because I am afraid to stand alone and be fully responsible for my words and deeds. I will be writing self forgiveness on letting go of the desire for the families approval and the fear to stand on my own in my own self trust and self support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my mom/families approval because I have always defined who I am and what I am doing through what my mom/families sees and speaks as the right thing to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on another’s words, beliefs, ideas, opinions, and thus change myself according to the approval of them without considering myself and my own self honesty within the living of change I am implementing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I will be without the approval of my mother/family as I have allowed myself to believe that I don’t know who I will be without this outside influence showing/telling me how to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my trust in another over myself because I always believed I am not good enough/capable enough to make the right decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when my family agree on a point, and I stand alone, then I am automatically wrong due to majority rule, even though I realize and see that what I am speaking and seeing is best for all as I walked it within self honest introspection, and thus show myself how it can be mapped out to be best for all, which is a simple point as their is no middle road, it's either best for all or is not, and thus I have to decide to walk the path and live the bath to create this point best for all, it's an individual decision all must make and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not as capable and knowledgeable as my family members, and so diminishing my own self empowerment by creating and living out these beliefs that i am not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that if I don’t live within self honesty within myself, I will not be able to really be here, as with being in dishonesty in my living, I am creating backdoors and secret agendas, and so allowing the mind as illusions to direct me into separation, and thus accept and allow the abuse to life here by accepting myself to allow self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly want my family approval so I can live an easy life and not have so much conflict in my world. I realize that when I compromise myself due to fear, I will not be able to stand in what is best for all as I am not standing within myself as the decision of who I am but split within basing myself on others, and thus will waver and not stand when necessary, which is unacceptable as life will only accept what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately accept dishonest behavior because i want to be safe and not have to push myself to face the fears of standing alone, and failing. I realize within standing up part of the process is to fall, so thus understanding this and using it as a learning tool, where I stop taking the fall's personally, and simply breath and walk the correction to thus stand as life again, walk the change i see is relevant and stop the fear from directing me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed fear to direct me in not facing myself and accepting the mind to control me.

Self Correction Commitment Statements to follow.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Matti Freeman

Check Her out here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MattiFreeman
Blog: http://www.matterfreeman.com/

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/mattifreeman1

Music: http://www.soundcloud.com/mfm-radio

2012, child, childlike, children, co-dependent, desteni, eqafe, equality, i need you, immature, journey to life, family approval, conflict, mother, motherly love, parents, security, relationships,submissive, teamlife

Day 139- Dependency on Parents for Money

Looking here at how I have become dependent on my parents for money and thus security in my world, and how I use this as a point of comfort ability for myself to know that I will be taken care of, I will have a place to go, I will be able to get some money if I need it, this falling on my parents shoulders as they are the ones that I look to when I am in a fuck up and need some support quick. This point of reliance on them for support also comes with self compromise, as within the giving there is an expectation to give myself as in time, labor, and essentially following in line with the family beliefs and traditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself based on depending on my parents for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself based on depending on my parents for security through having them support me even when I am able to support myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my mom for instance when I was younger to walk all the college points that were necessary to get me in, in where she set up all the meetings with coaches and administers, so I can sit on my behind and just have everything set for me, which at that stage did occur, but I was not equipped to walk the point on my own due to fear of others, so I depended on my mom to do this for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear as a justification to not move myself when I see a point that will take diligent effort and perservance, and thus use my mom to support me and basically walk it for me because I used her as the resource for me not to have to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my parents for support with rent when I was paying off my debt and thus assumed that they would be there for me because they are my parents, and so depended on them to support me during this time instead of walking the point in equality, setting up a compromise with them, and walking it through in communication first before walking it in reality as an assumed approval from my parents just because they are my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my parents for everything that I find that is hard to get or needs money because they have the ability to help me, and thus I assume that that should always be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my parents for my security to live instead of living the security of myself as myself so thus I can be free to move as I want, when given by my parents security, I am not free as I have to live under a certain point of self compromise to keep the security coming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my parents for security and safety because I was to afraid to walk on my own and make my own way.

I commit myself to walk the point of equals with and as my parents, not using them for dependency to have money and support, but walk my own self support through my own career and give as I have been given in an equal fashion.

I commit myself to stop the justifications of fear to stop my pursuit to become independent on my own and stop the dependency on parents to help me, so thus I can walk my path within a certain point of self freedom and be able to support myself in this world financially.

I commit myself to stop assumptions and self diminishment by allowing others to help me, when I can walk the path to help my self by taking responsibility for myself and walking the necessary steps to become self sufficient.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

2012, child, childlike, children, co-dependent, desteni, eqafe, equality, i need you, immature, journey to life, lazy, mother, motherly love, parents, security, relationships,submissive, teamlife

Day 138- “I need you” Self forgiveness and Correction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idealize the mother figure as something that is special and more wise then me, in which I can always depend on to give me guidance and help me when I am in need of it. I realize that within this dependency of another is only hindering my self dependency where in I am self sufficient and not in need of anyone, but can walk the solution as myself or in companionship with others as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek nurturing words and giving within the idea of what a mother can give, as I have become dependent on this ‘gentle’ touch that a mother can bestow on her child, in where I seek this out if I am not secure or stable within situations instead of realizing that this reliance on others is not best for myself as I am separating myself from my own self nourishment and reliance as I am capable and able to give this to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idealize the mother figure as someone who is more then me, and become addicted to this figure in my world in co-dependency so I don’t have to really push myself and become independent and stable on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the mother figure in my world as a way to take the easy way in seeking guidance for points that I find difficult and became in the habit of seeking guidance from my mom or someone like my mom who is gentle, then facing the point myself, and walking my conclusions to change myself so I am stable in the point and not dependent on another to show me the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become use to this motherly person in my world and thus become submissive within myself towards these type of women, not realizing that I am giving my power away, as within the submission is a judgment that I am inferior to their wisdom/knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a judgment about women who are confident and thus nurturing to others in their living as women who are more knowledgeable and wise then me, and thus subconsciously allow them to direct me and seek direction from them, as I have gotten use to this presence in my world to show me the way. I realize however, that this is separating myself form my own self empowerment where in I am not seeking something from another, but walk common sense and my own self empowerment, so thus I can become equals to others and not have any ideas about others that will cause this point of polarity as inferior/superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of women who are nice and directive in giving guidance or help to others, are women I can trust and thus gravitate towards them, instead of walking my own self understanding and stopping the dependency on these women as I stop the memory of my mom being my guide and guardian to thus protect me and keep me safe, I realize I must walk this path for myself to thus be able to be trusted with life and be able to stand on my own as equals, stopping the polarity of less/more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent and thus lazy within pushing myself to walk my own process of understanding, and thus give in to resistances to not find solutions and do what I set out to do, as I see that I can always have someone help me and show me the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on others instead of walking this reliance as myself.

I commit myself to equalize the point of the mother figure as stopping the mentality of child seeks mothers guide, but live and walk as equals in understanding in living among all by walking this with my mother and the people in my world, treating them as my equals, helping when I see that is necessary, but walking a balance to stop the point of dependency for others and myself as well.

I commit to walk the process in points that I am unsure of and not clear to understanding, where in I figure out how to walk and live the understanding as myself, by doing it myself and integrating it into my living, so I build my own self trust and can rely that I can do what is necessary to be done.

I commit myself to stop the resistance to move and walk the process of understanding in what I don’t see or realize in moments, and push through the points of laziness by seeking others guidance, but use the guidance and help from others in self honesty, so I gain perspective, but I walk the decision to live what I see is relevant and can be directed by myself.

I commit myself to stop idealizing the mother figure, and live within my own self-empowerment by standing equal with all.

I commit to stop the polarity of inferior/superior with the mother figure and walk as equals with all life. 

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Jessica Arias

Check Her out here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JessicaArias33
Blogs: http://jessicasjourneytonothingness.blogspot.com/




2012, child, childlike, children, co-dependent, desteni, eqafe, equality, i need you, immature, journey to life, lazy, mother, motherly love, relationships,submissive, teamlife