Sunday, April 14, 2013

Day 277 – “F*ck Authority” Character – Being Yelled At




Check out this blog for reference to this post:
Day 276 – Intro to the 'F*ck Authority' Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry when another triggers being yelled at, which created a point of inferiority within me in where I saw I needed to regain my standing through using anger to become the strong one again and thus use force through my words or body to get my position of authority back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus resist authority but within myself desire it, and thus create an internal conflict of desire and resistance to the point of authority where I cycle back and forth and never am able to remain here and thus am unable to direct to a point of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be in an authorative position and thus will use what I don’t like done unto me as yelling onto another because I see that this is really the only way to get authority back, but realizing this is not real authority but enslavement through force. Real authority I realize is through controlling self and directing self to be able to manage one’s own authority as self-direction to do what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to take what others say or do to me as an attack on my authority and thus seek revenge based on me taking the other’s yelling at me personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to become stronger then others to have more power and control over others and so will easily become angered and takes words personally as I have created a certain idea and image of myself as an authoritive person and thus when someone takes this image and doesn’t see the same, I take this personal and seek to use competition to win back my position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as more then others and thus desire the feelings of superiority and control and power over others, where I am not realizing, seeing, or understanding that taking from another what is already here within both as self direction as our own authrotive will is creating a diminishment within me because I am separating the life that is here as me with the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this disharmony on the one yelling at me when I realize when I bring this blame back to myself I am the one accepting the yelling as a personal attack, when I realize I can breath, let it go, and direct the situation when it is able to be directed or walk away if there is no sign of solution able to be accessed at that time, I am the one taking it personal thus it is my responsibility to stop this and not go into blame as blame is an outflow of self abdication of facing self responsibility and change.

When and as I go into a point of taking another’s yelling towards me personal, I stop and breath, and realize I do not need to go into reaction but can direct myself through breathing, letting go of the point of taking the yelling personal through taking responsibility for my reactions by stopping them, and direct the point into solution that is best for all.

When and as I go into a point of reacting in anger or blame towards another, I stop and breath, and realize that this is a point of outflow of taking the mind as a personal attack and thus wanting to abdicate my responsibility within my creation of creating the point of blame and anger within myself, as I realize I created it through my own permission, so I realize I can simply let it go as this is an outflow of reaction within the other as yelling, and direct myself as the situation through taking responsibility of myself and directing the point into a resolution that will calm the situation down and create harmony through understanding as equals if this is possible.

I commit myself to stop and breath when I see point of reaction come up within me when someone yell at me, see what is being said in awareness of the equality within us and through taking self responsibility, and direct the point if there is a stable situation to do so for an outcome that will benefit both.

I commit myself to see when I go into an anger or blame reaction, to stop, and write out the point of what I am blaming or becoming angry at if I don’t see it in that moment to immediately correct, if I am able to I push to stop reacting and bring the point to correction through immediate action, or flag it and open it up in writing when I am able to to be understood through self forgiveness and self commitments.


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