Here looking at the "I am a fuck up" character, where in my starting
point has always been that I am not good enough, I will eventually fuck things
up, and that I am who I am is based on my past, so here many dimensions can be
looked at as I have for most of my life defined myself in this way.
Why have I been defining myself in such a way is based on
the fact that I have been holding onto the past, in where, I will when I come
to a point of expressing myself and just enjoying myself, bring my past here
and how I have defined myself as a fuck up, and within this it will superimpose
into me, and I will become that character again as the past, and thus repeat
the past. This repeating the past, in where I essential re-mind, bring to my
mind once again, the past as my fuck up character, and essentially play the
role yet again. This is how the mind operates and enslaves human beings,
because it is the point of movement within bringing the past here, and thus we
as the being follow the thoughts, the memories, the beliefs, the pictures, and
yet again, play the, in this case, the fuck up character.
When I play into this character, I limit myself extensively
as within the physical as I will go into suppression and self judgment based on
the role I play within myself, seeing me as the least, and thus not wanting to
expose myself as weak as how I really feel, so this I will suppress myself to
not give any chance for any accidental exposure, so it is quite the conundrum I
have created for myself. Obviously, I as life enjoy living, being who I like to
be, doing what I like to do, hanging around people who are fun and enjoyable,
and thus, within this point of living as
a ‘fuck up’, I don’t live the point of who I am as life as the physical to it’s
fullest potential.
This point of allowing myself to be diminished and live less
then who I can be in the physical, is the point I am walking here, as I realize
I am the only one holding myself back as I see when I do allow myself to push
myself and just be here in breath and live, I enjoy myself and just enjoy the
life around me, and within that my expression expands because I am expanding
within myself, as before the suppression caused me to constrict and diminish as
this is what I am doing in the physical.
I have walked many points already within the self judgment
and comparision of myself to others, but within this is a holding onto the
past, and allowing it within this here moment to define me in the future to
come, so will be walking some self forgiveness on the point of holding onto the
past and allowing it to direct me here as I live.
Self forgiveness to follow in coming blogs.
Featured Artist: Malin Olofsson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/malin.olofsson.90
Journey to Life Blog: http://malingunilla.blogspot.com/
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/MalinGunilla
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
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Creation's Journey to Life
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Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
i am a fuck up, i messed up, not capable, less then you, fullest potential, not living, dead, living dead, no life, stupid, ugly, dumb, self judgment, self compromise, desteni, eqafe, 2012, journey to life
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