Showing posts with label dead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dead. Show all posts

Friday, August 16, 2013

Bernard Poolman– A Man of Life – Day 332



Bernard Poolman’s passing came as a shock to me, I had to read the email a few times to get the words I was reading through my head, and finally accepting the implication of these words that Bernard is died. I admit that in that moment, I went into a constriction and fear, with thoughts such as ‘what does this mean for me?’, ‘who is going to share with me the insights I need to become life?’, ‘why did he have to go?’, ‘how is the group going to stand without him?’ you know, selfish questions only regarding myself and my own benefit. So it’s interesting that I allowed these types of thoughts to come up showing to me that I in fact am not standing because I was living for his approval, his direction, I was waiting for his say, and not actually stepping into the principle of what he was living as, being my own stand, my own directive principle, and thus his equal. And so I was dishonoring him and the principle of life he stood as through this idea and desire to ‘wait and see what Bernard has to say’. Now, he is gone and I am alone, his last words etched into my physical of ‘make it count’ and this I commit to do, to give it everything I have to ensure that I indeed make my life count and be a plus one to accumulate a world of honor and integrity. My life is about finishing the work here on earth Bernard set forth, what he prepared us for through the years that we as a group have been walking together, and ensuring that life prevail and we create this world the best it possibly can be, heaven here on earth, and this only possible through living equal and one with all life as self. Living principled in always considering the whole rather then my own self interest in doing what is necessary to be done to create this world best for all.

There was so many words Bernard shared with me/those around me/in the group/in videos/blogs that spoke to me either directly or indirectly that caused an impact not just on this 'me', but the potential of who I can be as life fully realized, and in this time of knowing and working with Bernard I have become a being who will stand up for life no matter what needs to be done. Bernard inspired this within me through his selflessness, his determination and directive will, his insight into the depths of who I am, his service to others, I mean man he never stopped, he never quit, he never complained, he always no matter who or what the case was supported and assisted them in his very direct but gentle way,  he walked whatever it took to give another a chance to self realize who they are as life, he was absolutely amazing to observe and learn from, he was the greatest teacher I have ever had. He showed me what it means to be here and be life, to live this through living breath by breath, his example inspired me to be in service of life in all it’s forms until life is equal and one here as a living principle on this earth because this is what I would want for myself. ‘I give so I can receive’, Bernard lived these words beyond death and made them life, and so showed me the way.

Bernard once said ‘I will be last’, and what he meant by this is that he will be last in the benefiting of the gift of life until all are one and equal in the physical, he was nothing but self less and shared himself unconditionally in ways that I would never have considered possible, he has done the impossible and made it real, and showed me and everyone he has met that we can do it to, we can do the impossible. This was his gift, he was life and he shared in all ways possible how to be life with each and every person he met and came into contact with. It seems impossible to be able to stop the mind, stop thoughts, have a 'nothingness' (as he often called it) inside self, live breath by breath, but Bernard is the evidence that it is indeed possible and thus will be the living example that stand through all time to be a benchmark for life 'potential' to live a life for real, and so no matter what - life will prevail.

Bernard was a man of life and lived this absolute, in which I am grateful and humbled, and honor him by committing myself to live this as well until it is done.

Some quotes By Bernard:

"I am not a leader, I am just a man, I am your equal and you are mine."

“You must become me as I am you, so that we can trust each other no matter where we are, no matter who we are.”

“Each one will first scare themselves shitless with doom and gloom, then bring it back to self, direct self and stand up. Each must go through this – that is the point of equality.”

"Free Choice as the choice that leaves all free and end all abuse is the Desteni way."

"See, it's really all about who you are in each relationship and how you see every other part in your Existence. You Decide. And thus, through that Decision - Create Reality and Relationships that Form the Experience."

"When you run out of things to forgive yourself for, a person may then have a right to condemn others their behavior but anyone who has looked at and forgiven every inch of themselves and vowed not to allow themselves the same mistakes again would not contain a heart capable of blame. A heart with that great of knowledge of themselves would live nothing but solutions."

"Feelings are Never Valid as an Integrity Assessment, Feelings are Always Dishonest because they are Done from the perspective of Enhancing one’s illusionary Reflections of the mind."

"Self as Eternal, as Real Does Not Exist until You are in fact Life and that is Evidenced in All of Everything that You are a part-of, where you completely Understand All Form, All Mechanisms, All Relationships – Until then, Self is just Potential and May Never Exist for Real – but in this Temporary Consciousness for a Moment, you’ll be Able to Look in a Mirror and Ask the Question “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: What is the Self in it All?” and Unless that Stands Clear Eternally that This is Life: There will be No Self For Real."

"There is so much possible in the physical - unless one is just living like a zombie, hoping things will get better and using the mind as a mirror where you stare at your own image and try and improve it through your imagination. In you must exist nothing of 'you' in any picture-form. It must be a complete living expression as the functionality of every word...that makes a word alive."

"When a child is angry --one must communicate and help the child understand the energy they experience as feelings--this is done through helping the child to define the energy with words--you will for instance say--do you feel like you really do not like some one because they are better than you or get more than you? that is called jealousy--is that how you feel? So one will explore each possible feeling/emotion till the child can relate --then one discuss it and help the child make sense of it"

"If you are Life you will find a way to bring all to life as equals in a way that will always be best for all. If you are not life, you will react and have several insane stuttering giggles while you pretend you know better and can justify why life is not supposed to be equal."


Recommended Read, Bernard's Blog-

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Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 125- “I Am A Fuck Up” Character





Here looking at the "I am a fuck up" character, where in my starting point has always been that I am not good enough, I will eventually fuck things up, and that I am who I am is based on my past, so here many dimensions can be looked at as I have for most of my life defined myself in this way.

Why have I been defining myself in such a way is based on the fact that I have been holding onto the past, in where, I will when I come to a point of expressing myself and just enjoying myself, bring my past here and how I have defined myself as a fuck up, and within this it will superimpose into me, and I will become that character again as the past, and thus repeat the past. This repeating the past, in where I essential re-mind, bring to my mind once again, the past as my fuck up character, and essentially play the role yet again. This is how the mind operates and enslaves human beings, because it is the point of movement within bringing the past here, and thus we as the being follow the thoughts, the memories, the beliefs, the pictures, and yet again, play the, in this case, the fuck up character.

When I play into this character, I limit myself extensively as within the physical as I will go into suppression and self judgment based on the role I play within myself, seeing me as the least, and thus not wanting to expose myself as weak as how I really feel, so this I will suppress myself to not give any chance for any accidental exposure, so it is quite the conundrum I have created for myself. Obviously, I as life enjoy living, being who I like to be, doing what I like to do, hanging around people who are fun and enjoyable, and thus, within this point of  living as a ‘fuck up’, I don’t live the point of who I am as life as the physical to it’s fullest potential.

This point of allowing myself to be diminished and live less then who I can be in the physical, is the point I am walking here, as I realize I am the only one holding myself back as I see when I do allow myself to push myself and just be here in breath and live, I enjoy myself and just enjoy the life around me, and within that my expression expands because I am expanding within myself, as before the suppression caused me to constrict and diminish as this is what I am doing in the physical.

I have walked many points already within the self judgment and comparision of myself to others, but within this is a holding onto the past, and allowing it within this here moment to define me in the future to come, so will be walking some self forgiveness on the point of holding onto the past and allowing it to direct me here as I live.

Self forgiveness to follow in coming blogs. 


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