Confidence in the Mind when Alone – Part 7.3 – Day 369

Featured Artist: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365 

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367
Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

Just a point to put into the physical as words and that is that I will be writing everyday for the next year as I realize that it just takes a decision and actually living it, so I have it here, and will live it into life so I can trust my wordswithin myself as I have in fact lived them, build my self discipline, and push self movement to a point of naturalexpression for myself, building a solid foundation within who I am to live from. Thanks for reading and the support.

Today I will write on the point of having the experience of confidence within a situation where I am not in a group, but alone within my own doing. This comes up at times when I have done something where I have received some recognition, and this something was done within my own will and action. Through receiving praise for the actions I preformed well, I gain a point of confidence and arrogance over others in a form of seeing that I am more valued and so more worthy in the eyes of those who praised me based on ‘my’ work and those who have received no praise they then are below me. I see that I do not create a point of equality within the environment I am in, where each have there own skills and expressions, but I move often within competition and seeing where it is that I can gain over others and get ahead.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to when I do a project or work on my own, within my mind I have backchat desires to be recognized as the best and the most accomplished based on my desire to make the most money and gain the most prestige.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on how much I make rather then ensuring that who I am is based on principles I can live with into eternity and so within this walk the practical common sense steps to ensure my physical living conditions are functioning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire prestige with others and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on others view of me rather then defining myself in each moment that I am here based on the living of myself in reality, how I contribute to life in the greater as well as within self, and am I worthy of life in the way that I exist in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and annoyed at others around me when I see that they are not working in the same pace as myself, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become reactive and harsh toward these people when I have allowed the energy to accumulate to such an extent that eventually I go into conflict with them and say things that are harmful and abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind in backchat of how others are not doing a good job, and they are slacking, and they are making more money then me, and I should be getting the mostmoney because I am the best here, and so create an illusion of entitlement within myself based on thoughts that are not physical based but only catering to my self interest to be seen and gain feelings of excitement and happinesswhen I am recognized and also competing to become the highest paid due to a belief that I deserve it over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within my own mind believe myself to be the best and deserve the highest pay due to the belief that alone I am excelling over others, but in reality, I don’t know how others work in terms of their capabilities and their production, I am not in there shoes and so I should not and can not judge others for this as I would not want to be judge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my mind in a desire to be the top paid and be the best in my existence alone in my thoughts, when in reality, I am not alone, I am with groups of people interacting on many different levels and many different connections, and so I am not anymore or any less then others, but have to walk a functional way in reality to ensure all are equally consider and so all are equally able to live in the expression they are in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in my own world within myself and so build this experience of confidence based on the beliefs that I am so much better then others when in reality I am scared to face myself, face others, and be shown that in fact I am not the best, and so I realize that this is showing that I am in fact only existing as a point of ego desiring my own satisfaction in my mind where it gives me stimulation as energy and disregard the reality of the physical where I am effecting and influencing others in a harmful way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a way of ego where I only consider myself and only desire my own satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to stay in my own world so I am not challenged and can continue to pretend I am the best when in reality this is not in fact the case as I abuse others in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that being best within this physical world is living within a point of self direction where I move myself in a point of support and assistance of doing what is best for all as I realize that will equally always do what is best for me, anything else is self interest and so abuse will in fact be created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others due to my desire to be the best and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain a false sense of confidence within the belief that I am the best when in fact none of this was real because it did not stand in the physical based on the conflict and abuse I have given others within reaction rather then self movement in support in what is best in self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself in reality and so I stay stimulated within my own mind world in beliefs and ideas and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to separate myself from reality and abuse others due to my desires of self interest where I can hide and escape alone in my own mind world.

When and as I see I am going into a point of existing in my mind world and walking alone in my world creating beliefs and ideas about myself in relation to reality, I stop and breath, and realize that this in fact is not real because I am not walking in the physical with how I am existing within my mind and so it will in the end cause abuse and harm as I have already seen happens within my world in many instances because I am not taking physical reality into consideration and all others into consideration as how I would in fact want to be consider as an equal.

I commit myself to stop the mind reality of beliefs that I am better then others and deserve more then others.

I commit myself to walk the physical steps that are here to be walked to ensure I create the outcomes I have as my goals and not debate it in my mind as this is where I will manipulate myself to gain stimulation as good feelings and so abuse will occur.

I commit myself to move in physical reality by breathing and moving myself when I see I am going into reaction and do what it takes to stop the reactions through the tools shared at desteni.

I commit myself to support others as myself as equals when I have proven I am here and can direct myself into a physical stability and common sense solution, and so have stopped the abuse within a polarity of being more or less.

I commit to build self confidence through actually living the actions to the outcome I have set for myself and stop thinking and reacting to it in my mind through escaping into a mind reality of energy stimulation which is not real and cause abuse to occur due to self interest only being considered.

I commit myself to let go of self interest desire and walk as others in there shoes, and support life as how I would like to be supported in moments where I see I want to react and go into self interest, I stop, breath, and move into support as an equal.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

Equal Money System - Site

Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365 

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367

Group Settings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that I have to define myself according to others in a group and so compromise who I am within myself in each moment based on believing I have to be a certain way towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to compare myself to others within my environment or a group setting and see where and how I stand within the group based on my skills and looks, and so either become charged within a negative or positive energy depending how I conclude myself within the group dynamic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the people I am with and compare myself in a negative or positive way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my looks to others in a group and define myself as more or less and so define myself based on the charge of positive or negative energy related to the point that I have defined myself as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my skills within a group setting and see that I am either better or less then those in the group based on the assessment I have made in that moment and so believe that this assessment in a moment defines me absolutely, and so become either happy or depressed based on the definition I have held of myself in relation to comparisons among the group and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so create a inferior or superior stance within the group based on the results I have found according to how I match up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have assessed I am better, become heightened within who I am and see myself as more accepted from others and more comfortable based on this belief that I have more value then others based on my comparison assessments that I am more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create value judgments based on my mind assessments asthoughts, ideas, and beliefs, when in reality I realize this does not stand up to physical reality and realize that each one have value in equal regard as life and that all have the potential for excellence in that which they decide to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a group setting based on the feeling I get through a belief that is based on a point of fear as being not as good, so I enhance myself whenever I can and so become inconsiderate of others within the group because I am only acting within my self interest to get to the top.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself within a group in self interest in desiring to be at the top so I can feel comfortable and accepted because I have defined being comfortable and accepted only based on who is the best rather then a living expression of me in the acceptance of myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the belief that to be the best is to be without fear and to be able to be accepted by all and comfortable within the group, when in reality, this is only the fear showing itself as I am fearing people rejecting me and being uncomfortable within group settings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the belief that to be the best I will be accepted and comfortable within the group and so limit myself to desire to be the best instead of living in the moment in absolute self expression with no expectations or desires for more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself based on fear of being rejected and uncomfortable in a group setting because I have defined this experience as painful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the experience of being rejected from a group as a point of being painful and so uncomfortable, when I realize I can define myself and express myself in the way that I decide who I am.

And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make others feel rejected and uncomfortable based on fear and so live out this illusion as belief that those that don’t have skills or are not the best are not as important as those who are the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this belief that the best is based on a polarity as some are and some arent instead of living this within myself in all that I do in consideration of all here as equals and so ensure that all live the best rather then competing for it as this is not necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me and also I forgive I have accepted and allowed desire to be the best direct me into seeking positive energy as experiences of happiness and acceptances, when in reality these are not real because I am not living these in fact within myself but seeking it outside myself from others approval.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek others approval rather then live here and become the potential I can be in each moment as living my words in oneness and equality, and so become an example so all can live this as well and we live in what is best.

When and as I see I am going into a point of comparison within a group setting, I stop and breath, and move myself into my body through moving myself physically, ground myself, and realize I am equal and one with all that are here and do not need to attain anything to realize this, but walk self honesty and change myself to be the living word.

I commit myself to ground myself and move physically to stabilize myself from participating in energy of desiring to be the best.

I commit to stop comparing myself to others in group and work on walking my words in self expression and self acceptance.

I commit myself to stop judging others and so accept all as self and walk with people in equality and see who they are and learn/enjoy them as I would like them to do the same with me.

I commit myself to stop fear of rejection and walk the point of accepting all as life as who we are here.

I commit to move myself to open and push self expression in groups and find ways to expand and grow together.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365 

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

I see that within a group setting, I have experienced myself to gain confidence if within the group I am someone that is strong within the skill set that is common within what we are doing, what is usual in my life was on sports teams, the sports I excelled at I had a certain confidence within myself because I had a measure of value that I attributed to my worth within the group and that was that I was good at the sport. So I gained a sense of hierarchal power within the group in my own mind making me feel more special then others, more at ease with others, more accepted by others all based on the fact that within me I saw myself as one of the better one’s on the team, so I had the right to ‘strut my stuff’ and it made me feel more comfortable and privileged. This leading to arrogance towards others, not considering my actions and words to others as an equal point of consideration to myself, and treating others in a lesser way then I would those that I saw as more skilled. So walking the inner of what the outer of this world is showing, as within so without as the saying goes, elitism through living in an imbalance as positive/negative polarity play-outs lived out through competition and survival.

This obviously balancing itself out within other parts of my life where I would become inferior within my world because I was not as highly skilled and so saw myself now on the opposite spectrum of this competition game of survival of feeling inferior. So this constant polarity is playing out within everything I/we do which is what the mind does to keep us separate as beings from the physical body. The physical body being what is real, what is life, and who we really are. The mind for reference is generated and powering itself separate from our beingness and the physical body through consciousness as energy, so it uses these energies we produce such as confidence or inferiority and creates itself, but at the detriment of our beingness and our physical body as the mind uses physical substance/our physical bodies to create the energy that we participate in such as feeling confident or inferior in a group setting.

Also, alone I have found confidence within myself when I find solutions or move myself within a direction that creates a point of betterment in the environment I am in, within me there is a form of confidence that I see that I enjoy as my ego, where I feel that I have power over others and have a point of prestige because I am seen as someone who is able to create solutions or make a point better. Within making environments in communities better is excellent, but to do it to satisfy my ego in self interest and seek recognition obviously needs a realignment and correction in my living otherwise it creates abuse and inequality. I will be redefining this word as well as it’s opposite in the later part of this series.

So in my next blog I will walk self forgiveness and self correction to these two points of confidence. Thanks for reading.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

This is a Series, here are the others to reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

So I am at the farm and now have committed with Cerise to three months of daily responsibility to work with horses, I was quite excited about this, but also nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.  Cerise first showed me how to take care of Fat, how to clean his hooves, how to clean the poo and the pee hay, how to look for ticks, how to move him and communicate with him through touch, but I most enjoyed the walking with him to the camps where the horses grazed and spent there day. I walked with Cerise the first couple days, and then she would give me the reigns and I would get to walk with Fat on my own. This at first took a bit of getting use to, but again there were communication methods to allow him to know when to stop, or move faster, or slow down, so there was a constant point of hereness within the horse and myself when we were together to ensure safety. Well, I was not always here with Fat because a lot of the time I was in my mind. When cleaning the stables or walking the horses, it is actually very quiet, well there is people speaking around you, but you are alone in the stable and you just do the job that is here to do mostly on your own, so I observed myself often in these moments due to this quietness that naturally emerged in these times.

I found when I was physically moving and doing the daily responsibility directly with the horse, like cleaning his hooves or checking for ticks, I was more at ease and more natural within my expression, I didn’t feel fear or unsafe in anyway, I did use caution, but I was not in such a state as how I was when I began the care with him, I was more comfortable. I remember the most interesting point was when I would look into the Fat’s eyes, I would see him staring back at me and within myself I knew that he was here with me, he could see me as I could see him, it was more in depth though then looking into a humans eyes like looking into my dogs eye like he could see beyond my mind and beyond the thinking, and it felt like he looked within the core of myself. I always felt like I had to look away, like I was being exposed and felt silly in ways for looking so directly into the horses eyes and his direct look back, but I realized this reaction within me was was a reflection of myself, Fat was showing me to me, that I am embarrassed and afraid to look within the core of who I am, the in depth person that I have become, and the acceptances and allowances I have created within myself and left hidden and suppressed for so many years. It’s like all that opened up and got exposed in that moment where we looked into each other’s eyes.

The reflection he showed me of myself was based on the construct of the mind within the confident and insecure polarity play out I have existed as for many years.  The confidence I very much tried and portrayed in those moments I was with the others at the farm, ensuring I was being seen as strong, cool, and had my self together, but within me this creating the opposite as an insecurity because I did not live up to those ways I desired to be because they weren’t real, they were just thought up in my mind and how I desired for myself to be, but in reality this is not how I lived, I was anxious, reserved, and quite judgmental of myself and cared a lot about how I was seen, and so created a lot of self sabotage and insecurity that effected everything about my day to day living. Fat the horse just within looking in my eyes, opened up a whole mind construct that I have allowed for some time and did not want to face, and now I will open and support myself and change to stand with Fat and all beings and look into there eyes and be equal and one here, no movement, but expression of self.

More to come in the next blog. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support I Recommend from Eqafe:

Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse - Part 1
Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse - Part 2
Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse - Part 3

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site