Brusitis in the Left Hip Bursa Sac - Feminine Expression - Hardening of Self - Day 29

 

                                                               equalmoney.org

I have had this pain in my left hip for some time, but has been moved into a inflammation within the hip sacs, this has been especially after working through some heavy and deep points in my desteni.org process that I have been walking now for many years. I am realizing that the pain is based on the idea and belief within myself that one, I am not able to move forward after a mistake/fall, being shocked within the self honesty faced of what I was doing/capable of, and how I initially went into blame and self defeat where I allowed myself to wallow in fear, anger, and self hatred. I am seeing the nature of this devaluation of myself in believing I am stuck and can never forgive or again stand after such a fall stems from the belief that I am doomed and shamed forever within this mistake and fall, and I require others to help me back up or help me get the point. There is a point that what I create will always be with me as I created it, yet who I am here in realizing and then changing is what matters and is relevant at this time. Also when in reality, I myself have to get up and stand within myself, realizing that no one is to blame or going to save me, but self is to stand and find a way to do what is best for all within the understand of doing what is best for self. Through this stand you show life and others who you are and equality of life emerges where all are able to be heard and all have a say, cause all are here and responsible for the alignment of what is best for all as a self creation one and equal.

 My mother is an imprint in my mind within this pain in my hip from childhood where I did not feel seen or supported in my troubles by her, so believing that I have to go it alone and I am unworthy of care or support. Though I realize this is not true, I do walk alone yes within myself and my own self honesty, but I am not worthy or useless, I am a being expressing here and responsible for my self correction when I fall or create an idea or belief of something. The fact is that life is direct, life is here, it doesn’t think, it exist, it lives, so self has to apply oneself to live, it’s an action, and so it’s a self willed requirement, no one can do this for me but me. Self does have support within people, material, and nature/animals that can support with insight and solving the issues/problems self believe are insurmountable, but self has to be open to it and learn from it in a way that cause no harm, but give life as self give of oneself for what is best for all. The points one face may be big at times, yes, but each issue/problem can be solved breath by breath, step by step, within an effort to not give up and see it through to stable ground until it’s done. This the quest and the journey of self to rebirth as life, on wards.

 Self forgiveness 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a mistake/fall where I did not live into self honesty and what is best for all, but deliberately chose self interest, to be more, I am sentenced forever to suffer and pay for the harm I had caused by not standing for life when it was on the line.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself prisoner in my own mind for a mistake, fall, and self interest moment where i chose the mind rather then standing in that moment for what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe life is not able to change and transform within and as the understanding and self honest walk of what is here, to in fact stop and live in a new way that supports self to live and never again allow and accept such abuse within and as my reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i don't deserve self forgiveness and self change, and thus i must continually suffer.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not allow to feel gentleness, softness, and care for myself because i made a mistake/fell in my process and life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i do not deserve gentleness and care within myself toward myself because i judge myself as bad, loser, and a demon.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto thoughts of my mistakes, and believe these define me, when i see, realize, and understand they are not real, and thus i have the ability to breathe, let them go, and live here in the physical in a way that will support myself and life as i support all when i stand and support myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have to hold everything in and never allow anyone to know as i see i need to figure things out by myself and i am too bad or far gone to get anyone to support me or help me out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am the only one who has fallen in such a way, when i see, realize, and understand many are in the same boat and will equally need the support of themselves and life/others as examples to walk what has to be walked to stand for and as life as the self forgiveness is spoken and lived within the living change in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the shock of the moment of when i found myself in rock bottom where i realized my mistakes and the consequences to face. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, see, and understand to stand for life i have to stand as myself as life, and in this this require a gentleness and softness at times to support through a point of understanding or patience to work with what is here within msyelf and in this world as the living solution is created and walked.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have to fight through to survive, when i see, realize, and understand i don't need to survive but give as i'd like to receive until all are here receiving and life is guaranteed in an equal life and equal money system as examples of heaven on earth our/self's true/truth and real nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for not being there for me as a child, and thus not realize or understand at the time that my mother was walking here best as she could in the moments and in this she was equally doing her best with what she knew to support me and thus i can not blame but take it back to myself and see where i can learn and align myself to be the solution.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for me being forced more into the nature of having to figure it out on my own, and when i made a mistake, blame her as a point that should have been there, when i see, realize, and understand that she was there in her capacity as she could and that these alignments are points within my process, i must face within myself, change myself, and stand within the consequences as i create and stand as the solution.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am trapped, when i see, realize and understand i am here, i am able to create and move myself in a way that is best for all until it is created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent myself for “allowing the mistake,” instead of seeing it as a necessary mirror to show me who I was, so I could realign with who I really am. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in walking process, believing that because I fell once, I am always on the edge of failure—when in truth, every breath is a new foundation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overcompensate by pushing through pain, inflammation, and exhaustion—believing I must suffer to prove I care or am worthy of life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being seen in my vulnerability is shameful or dangerous when i see, realize, and understand it is a mirror to myself and where i am in fact requiring change and thus showing true strength as being seen but remaining here open and directive of myself to remain and correct myself.

 “You must embrace all parts of yourself, even the ones you have rejected, because all of it is you. Until you stand equal and one with all of it, you will not be free.”

— Bernard Poolman 

I commit myself to stop the believes that i am stuck, in harms way always, and have no way out, but breathing let go of the past, and working with what is here, breathe by breathe, where i give myself the ability to care for myself and the space for gentleness so i can ensure i am seen as i show this within and as my world. 

 I commit myself to receive self care within my own process as i get back up from a mistake/fall and show myself that i still matter and i can keep moving and expanding in a way of self change and self correction. 

When and as i see i am going into self judgment of what i have done, i stop breathe and let go, move into the word self care and self gentleness as i align to my commitment and agreement to life to change and correct myself through self acceptance and doing what is best in the moments to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to stop all blame toward my mother and realize she is me and i could have been her, i see i would want compassion within the understand she was doing the best she could, and i commit myself to take self responsibility for my own actions and consequences, and walk the process to realign, forgive myself, and correct myself into living words such as self responsible, compassion, care, equality and oneness. 

I commit myself to let go of the suffering and harm, i commit myself to embrace my body and this world as the body of life and start the process of self correction as self healing to again be able to align to what is best for all and stand for always as life as me.

I commit myself to stop the internal war with myself, and instead live the gift of correction—gently, consistently—no longer driven by fear of failure, but moved by care for life.

I commit myself to stop hiding or compensating for my past through force, and instead trust the living correction of who I am here, one breath at a time, one decision at a time.

I commit myself to open up to real support—from people, nature, and the tools of life—realizing I am never truly alone when I walk in self-honesty and allow life to move through me.

I commit myself to walk with presence, not punishment—to no longer earn my worth, but express it.

 

Living words to embody - 

Stability - standing stable in myself in my mistakes and my correction, equal and one to myself as life until i am clear and here breathe by breath.

Support - giving myself equal support as care, nurturing, and softness as i would give a child getting back up after a fall.

Softness - standing in understanding as self here as life, allowing myself to let go of the pain and sadness and recreate in a way that is best, correcting and expressing myself as the joy of life that is a gift as honour and grace as i've been given by life as my physical body and this world.  

Grace – the permission to start again without punishment.

Fortitude – quiet strength in the face of consequence.

Allowance – letting life unfold within principled living, not forced control

 

 “Correction is not judgment—it is support. It is the act of aligning with what is best for all, beginning with self. It is the gift you give to yourself: to no longer live as consequence, but as creation.”

— Desteni

 

More support at -

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

wiki.desteni.org

equalmoney.org

Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

 

 

Self Forgiveness (Day 1):The Beginning of Self Deprecation - Day 579

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

For most of my life up until I have started to walk the desteni process and realized i have the power to change myself, I was living very much in self-insecurity and self depreciation, which in it's outflow led me to become angry, revengeful, abusive, even physically violent.

A lot of times in my childhood I remember feeling crazy inside myself like there was a person inside me that wanted to just rip out of my skin and scream due to the rage at times that would course through my body. I often was driven to punching and kicking people in my world, becoming a bully towards those who I saw as weaker than me and then creating a huge petrification of those who I deemed more then me. Resulting over time in a unstable person who could barely function in society and just wanted to be away from people, finding indulgences to quench the petrification that was eating away at me, and be calm for a while, then the voices would come back, "what is out there that can harm me, when will i be harmed, will i be able to survive on this planet, will I be strong enough" and so fear became rooted within me.

I did not, in fact, want to fight or be a bully, but I saw no other way out, everyone around me did the same thing, there were very little examples in my world of those who were at peace and lived peace in there lives, cared for others, and took self-responsibility. And I became equal to that survival system, competing with everyone, fearing my survival, and so it came out as bullying, not being patient when people made mistakes, not taking responsibility to do what is best for others, and so creating a fear-based world that was maddening and not what life is supposed to be about.

I see how I have taken on the anger and rage from family history, copying it from many, it's amazing how much we influence others and they us. This is why it is important to walk the process of self-purification, to know thyself and so be able to direct self in what is best to thus direct others to what is best equally so as how you would like. So living out my bully nature, using passive-aggressive force to move people to do what I want, manipulating in fact to get the desired result, and when my expectations are not met become rigid and cold. I see this pattern play out in my responsibilities at work at times stemming from an impatience I have found because there is an ego self-interest point i am defending and that is not to have to do extra work and also believing that I am better at my job than others and so I have the 'right' to say this in this way or do that to get that result, not in full consideration or being my best self. And thus causing ripples to outflow that are harmful and abusive, which is in need of correction and self-forgiveness.

So I am working with both insecurities and self-righteousness as a polarity design playout within this whole programming I just wrote out, balancing out the systems in place of not actually standing within the patience of what is here and the step by step process that must be walked in this physical reality to get the results that are grounded, long lasting, and best for all. I take short cuts and in life, short cuts always catch up with you, the best way to move forward when one has seen living that is not supporting life is to forgive ourselves, write out the corrections, and walk new in life fresh, here, breath by breath, creating a new you. because I see that taking this on will release the self-interest within myself and thus collapses this polarity design I am battling within myself, and do what is best regardless of the scenario.

Self Forgiveness to come on these points shared.

Thanks for reading.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Why Am I Continuing to Fall – Day 498

Recently a point came up about an addiction that I have been transcending and within it I fell. What I realized within this fall was how I up until the point of actually doing the action that caused me to fall I was in a point of ignorance, like ‘I know I shouldn’t be doing this, I know there will be consequences for doing this action, I know I will be harming others if I do this”, though I still did it, even though I realized that it is not best for all. So after this event happened I listened to the new kryon interview – Rest and the Physical - Kryon: My Existential History, where he spoke about sleep and how the body does not need rest. How we within our physical bodies could live significantly longer then we are currently living. How we are in fact devolving each decade, each year, each day, each breath, and when he finished discussing this point I reflected on myself, and saw that very day I decided to go into ignorance and fulfill my mind desire, my need, my instant gratification, rather then stopping myself in principles that I have committed to live in what is best for all.

So my blog today is about what is it within my decision to fall even though I know it’ll be self compromising, why I did it anyway. What I found initally was a spitefulness, that because of my life circumstances I am afraid to take on inevitably the horror that I as a being have particpated within. The act of not living my highest potential is a measure in reality that is created, now because of spite and ignorance, I am accepting and allowing myself to give up and give in to challanges that arise and so compromise my self standing. I have committed myself to stand always despite falls, set backs, miss-takes, and abdication of my responsibility, I will stand up again and move myself to the inevitable correction to align myself with what is best for all.

So within this fall, there are two basic options I can walk and we all can walk for that matter, in a day, in our lives, is to stay in the fall experience of self pity, self anger, resentment, and blame or we can take self responsibility, learn from the fall, and use what I learned to change myself to be better equipped for the next time to stand, to stop the self compromise, to stop the projection and blame onto the outer reality, and to realize that everything that is in fact happening in MY life is MY creation.

This is one of the realization that came up for me within this point, is that I am the creator of my life, I decide whether I fall on a point or whether I stand within it and move into the correction to live what is best for all. There is no one outside of myself that is able to walk this decision and action, there is support yes, though in this journey of birthing life from the physical I am alone in this decision. I decided for myself who I will be and so within this I am the creator of my eventual desteni that’ll play out. What I walk in this life, each and every moment will accumulate to the final point of either death or birthing into life. This is the reality of each one in this life and the more that is given the more responsibility one takes on.

So from this fall, I take it as an opportunity to learn and understand where I stand within myself. How within this learning opportunity I need to change and move into a position where I can stand through the programs of the mind that played out for me to eventually fall on my commitments. Walking moment to moment I found, this journey is more manageable, to in each moment walk what is best for all this through breath awareness, this is also a process to get to this point, though in breath, here in our physical bodies, is where this life is able to be lived/walked in what is best. So a goal set forth to focus on or live is instead of having too much to consider in many moments as I decide to act on something, bring those many moments down to the small, walking and living moment to moment walking what is best in each moment that is here. (I will also write blogs on redefining the word here, moment to moment, breath, so it’s more clear on how to live this in physical reality)

This is what I found most important is to realize that I am responsible for not only myself, but for all here, I am walking for those who are not able to, for those who are starving, for those who are hurt and abused, for those who are silenced due to oppression, for those who have no voice, and also for those who are so lost in there minds that they can not see what is best for all. We, each and everyone of us, are walking a process of living what is best for all, this process though I have realized is determined and defined by self, and as was mentioned in Kryon’s interview today, there is a time stamp, life itself is showing within the aging process that we are devolving, we are not living and aligning with life, and so we are in essence dying which is obviously life extinguished. Life never dies to be clear, though the mind does, the mind is energy and this energy is based from the physical substance of the physical body, it’s parasitic in nature and so it eats the physical body until we die and the physical substance as our body repels the mind, the mind ceases to exist and physical substance goes back to it’s source, the earth, dust to dust. There have been hundreds of interviews on the life processes of human beings and what happens at death, here is a series specifically on this, the life reviews of those who die and processes that happen at death.

What I have realized within this fall for myself is that within my every day life, I have to live the words assertive, self trust, self honesty, and self creation to be able to in the moments I want to give into the justification, excuses, breaks, and really bullshit to live these words and push through my resistances and that I have to in real time move myself physically in these moments. These little moments of thoughts such as ‘it’s ok if I just indulge for one day’, ‘it’s ok if I take a break for one hour’, ‘it’s ok if I judge and ridicule in my mind for this one time cause it’s not that big of a deal, they can’t see, no one can see but me’, though these little moments eventually accumulate into physical action where I go into a decision in the physical to compromise myself, my commitments that I have made, and so compromise the whole process of birthing life from the physical. If I did act in a way that is best for all in that moment, I would not have wasted this time now of two days where I could be walking in ways that is best.

So there is purpose to falls they are neither good nor bad, but a opportunity to show you to you and how you have created yourself, what within this fall I have just lived, where I need to stand more, where I need to assert my directive will more, what I need to change and push within my skill set to be able to counteract my desire to resist, it is a learning experience if I walk it into a completion. Falls in process require self honesty, this is an act of self will and who one is within this process of a fall. This is all up to me, though the seriousness of what I am walking I am realizing more and more, we are not just walking this for ourselves, we are walking the process of birthing life from the physical for all beings that are here living, this is the desteni of this earth, I decide who I am and this effects the all cause we are all interconnected, everything is one and equal here in this physical reality.

I will continue with self forgiveness and self commitments in my next blog to further move into the correction process that is needed to stand within moments of self compromise.

Thank you for reading. 

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site 

Is it Possible to Stop Judging Life? – Day 496

Photo Source

I have recently started looking at the point of a belief I have participated in and accepted in my living for most of my life and most of my process I have been walking with Desteni. I can see that the cycle of not only judging myself in a positive or negative way, but also judging my world in the same polarity cycle of negative and positive has effected my relationships and interactions greatly. I found within this that I had the belief that I can not stop the judgment of the external world, and within looking at this I am seeing that I have to stop the judgment of myself first to stop judging my world absolute. I have to create a definitive correction process to stop the process of judgment through living words and practicing my living through self movement. The minds automatic response I have found is to judge with thoughts and backchat fueled with energy of myself which then projects onto my world. Here I am looking at first doing the self forgiveness to stop the belief that it is impossible to stop judging myself and projecting it onto reality. 

Self Forgiveness on the Compromising Pattern:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the act of stopping myself from judging myself and others is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have what it takes to stop the judgment of myself and others in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it’s too difficult to stop judging others and myself in the day to day life I am living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to believe that stopping myself in each moment is impossible and so stopping my thoughts of judgment is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that stopping my thoughts is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that stopping my thoughts is not the issue but not participating in the thoughts is the act of stopping participation in the judgment and so stopping the pattern of judging myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I not only have to stop my negative beliefs about myself but also the positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am these negative or positive judgments of myself and so believe and create this within my external reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that stopping the participation in these thoughts will stop the energy they produce and within time the pattern will diminish and stop influencing me completely to be able to see reality directly and within fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of fear when I see that I have to stop all my participation in my thoughts and beliefs that I can’t do this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that stopping my participation in my thoughts is impossible when in reality I can stop in each moment from participating breathing here in reality.

Self Correction to Live that I Commit to:

I commit myself to stop participating in the thoughts of judgment when they come up by breathing and moving into my physical body.

I commit myself to practice this self movement into the physical until I am here and through this I align this self movement with the oneness of life focus realizing all is here as self and we are all one thus judgment is non sensical.

I commit myself to live the word acceptance and oneness within the act of moving from thoughts to here in breath in my physical body grounding my beingness to what is real by accepting all here as me as life in the physical.

I commit myself to utilize the word ‘No’ when I see a judgment thought come up and move into the alignment to life here as and within the physical reality.

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Confidence to Self Confidence – A Self Creation Process – Day 375

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:
My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362
Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363
Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365
Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366
Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367
Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

So I am going today to look at redefining the word of confidence to self confidence. Within this I see that there is a point of self responsibility to ensure I walk this word into a living reality for myself and not make it a point of self interest where again I am allowing the mind to direct me as the awareness as life into the polarity that will be created through using confidence as an experience of living rather then living confidence as myself for real which would be lived as self not an experience.

A point that I have learned through eqafe interviews, such as the one’s I will list below is a more broader perspective on how to in fact live confidence, what does that actually mean, and within myself I have looked at it and through writing through the series I reference above that living confidence is through my actions of consistency within an awareness of creating myself in a better way and also working towards a path to create my environment in a better way. I use the things I realize will support myself and these ventures in a way to build self confidence. For example, setting a goal and reaching it, the act of actually walking the steps to reach a goal one sets for oneself and uses one’s resources in a way that will bring one to their goal is a feature of self confidence that will allow someone to build this within themselves. The point has to be walked in self honesty of course, which is a way in which one is walking principled within what is best for all and correcting oneself when they see they have acted in a way that is self dishonest. So it’s like a built in correcting system as no one will correct you, but yourself, and allows the highest potential of self to be lived, which is what life is in fact, the act of self perfection in self creation.

So self confidence is a point of expansion I see within the who I am as self honest and self corrected living, as I expand myself in these principled ways of living, such as being self disciplined, doing something to the best of my ability in perfecting this practice, and within this ensuring one keeps progressing and expanding within these ways of living, the self confidence within whatever goal you take on will follow.

This is based on the fact that your not creating the confidence within your mind and this where you can make all sorts of scenarios and falsifications about yourself and actually go into the point of believing it to be true and then act on it, but in fact it’s not real or true cause it wasn’t walked in fact in the physical. But through being self confident and building this within your living, you have walked the actual physical steps in reality, learned the ways in which to live a point 'better', understood the mistakes, corrected those mistakes, and essentially walked the path to bettering yourself and so you within the living of the ‘better’ version of you you have in reality lived and created, is a confidence you can in fact live as yourself because it is you. So it’s absolutely a worthwhile process to walk because it’s creating a better version of self, and as I said earlier this can only be done by each one for themselves, so it indeed is a point of self creation because it is in fact you creating a point to so build the self confidence of that point as you walk it and perfect it. Self confidence is, I would suggest, the result of the self creation process within any given point one engage in in there life within the process of self perfection.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:
Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

Confidence in the Mind when Alone – Part 7.3 – Day 369

Featured Artist: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365 

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367
Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

Just a point to put into the physical as words and that is that I will be writing everyday for the next year as I realize that it just takes a decision and actually living it, so I have it here, and will live it into life so I can trust my wordswithin myself as I have in fact lived them, build my self discipline, and push self movement to a point of naturalexpression for myself, building a solid foundation within who I am to live from. Thanks for reading and the support.

Today I will write on the point of having the experience of confidence within a situation where I am not in a group, but alone within my own doing. This comes up at times when I have done something where I have received some recognition, and this something was done within my own will and action. Through receiving praise for the actions I preformed well, I gain a point of confidence and arrogance over others in a form of seeing that I am more valued and so more worthy in the eyes of those who praised me based on ‘my’ work and those who have received no praise they then are below me. I see that I do not create a point of equality within the environment I am in, where each have there own skills and expressions, but I move often within competition and seeing where it is that I can gain over others and get ahead.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to when I do a project or work on my own, within my mind I have backchat desires to be recognized as the best and the most accomplished based on my desire to make the most money and gain the most prestige.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on how much I make rather then ensuring that who I am is based on principles I can live with into eternity and so within this walk the practical common sense steps to ensure my physical living conditions are functioning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire prestige with others and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on others view of me rather then defining myself in each moment that I am here based on the living of myself in reality, how I contribute to life in the greater as well as within self, and am I worthy of life in the way that I exist in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and annoyed at others around me when I see that they are not working in the same pace as myself, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become reactive and harsh toward these people when I have allowed the energy to accumulate to such an extent that eventually I go into conflict with them and say things that are harmful and abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind in backchat of how others are not doing a good job, and they are slacking, and they are making more money then me, and I should be getting the mostmoney because I am the best here, and so create an illusion of entitlement within myself based on thoughts that are not physical based but only catering to my self interest to be seen and gain feelings of excitement and happinesswhen I am recognized and also competing to become the highest paid due to a belief that I deserve it over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within my own mind believe myself to be the best and deserve the highest pay due to the belief that alone I am excelling over others, but in reality, I don’t know how others work in terms of their capabilities and their production, I am not in there shoes and so I should not and can not judge others for this as I would not want to be judge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my mind in a desire to be the top paid and be the best in my existence alone in my thoughts, when in reality, I am not alone, I am with groups of people interacting on many different levels and many different connections, and so I am not anymore or any less then others, but have to walk a functional way in reality to ensure all are equally consider and so all are equally able to live in the expression they are in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in my own world within myself and so build this experience of confidence based on the beliefs that I am so much better then others when in reality I am scared to face myself, face others, and be shown that in fact I am not the best, and so I realize that this is showing that I am in fact only existing as a point of ego desiring my own satisfaction in my mind where it gives me stimulation as energy and disregard the reality of the physical where I am effecting and influencing others in a harmful way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a way of ego where I only consider myself and only desire my own satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to stay in my own world so I am not challenged and can continue to pretend I am the best when in reality this is not in fact the case as I abuse others in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that being best within this physical world is living within a point of self direction where I move myself in a point of support and assistance of doing what is best for all as I realize that will equally always do what is best for me, anything else is self interest and so abuse will in fact be created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others due to my desire to be the best and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain a false sense of confidence within the belief that I am the best when in fact none of this was real because it did not stand in the physical based on the conflict and abuse I have given others within reaction rather then self movement in support in what is best in self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself in reality and so I stay stimulated within my own mind world in beliefs and ideas and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to separate myself from reality and abuse others due to my desires of self interest where I can hide and escape alone in my own mind world.

When and as I see I am going into a point of existing in my mind world and walking alone in my world creating beliefs and ideas about myself in relation to reality, I stop and breath, and realize that this in fact is not real because I am not walking in the physical with how I am existing within my mind and so it will in the end cause abuse and harm as I have already seen happens within my world in many instances because I am not taking physical reality into consideration and all others into consideration as how I would in fact want to be consider as an equal.

I commit myself to stop the mind reality of beliefs that I am better then others and deserve more then others.

I commit myself to walk the physical steps that are here to be walked to ensure I create the outcomes I have as my goals and not debate it in my mind as this is where I will manipulate myself to gain stimulation as good feelings and so abuse will occur.

I commit myself to move in physical reality by breathing and moving myself when I see I am going into reaction and do what it takes to stop the reactions through the tools shared at desteni.

I commit myself to support others as myself as equals when I have proven I am here and can direct myself into a physical stability and common sense solution, and so have stopped the abuse within a polarity of being more or less.

I commit to build self confidence through actually living the actions to the outcome I have set for myself and stop thinking and reacting to it in my mind through escaping into a mind reality of energy stimulation which is not real and cause abuse to occur due to self interest only being considered.

I commit myself to let go of self interest desire and walk as others in there shoes, and support life as how I would like to be supported in moments where I see I want to react and go into self interest, I stop, breath, and move into support as an equal.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

Equal Money System - Site

Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365 

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367

Group Settings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that I have to define myself according to others in a group and so compromise who I am within myself in each moment based on believing I have to be a certain way towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to compare myself to others within my environment or a group setting and see where and how I stand within the group based on my skills and looks, and so either become charged within a negative or positive energy depending how I conclude myself within the group dynamic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the people I am with and compare myself in a negative or positive way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my looks to others in a group and define myself as more or less and so define myself based on the charge of positive or negative energy related to the point that I have defined myself as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my skills within a group setting and see that I am either better or less then those in the group based on the assessment I have made in that moment and so believe that this assessment in a moment defines me absolutely, and so become either happy or depressed based on the definition I have held of myself in relation to comparisons among the group and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so create a inferior or superior stance within the group based on the results I have found according to how I match up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have assessed I am better, become heightened within who I am and see myself as more accepted from others and more comfortable based on this belief that I have more value then others based on my comparison assessments that I am more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create value judgments based on my mind assessments asthoughts, ideas, and beliefs, when in reality I realize this does not stand up to physical reality and realize that each one have value in equal regard as life and that all have the potential for excellence in that which they decide to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a group setting based on the feeling I get through a belief that is based on a point of fear as being not as good, so I enhance myself whenever I can and so become inconsiderate of others within the group because I am only acting within my self interest to get to the top.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself within a group in self interest in desiring to be at the top so I can feel comfortable and accepted because I have defined being comfortable and accepted only based on who is the best rather then a living expression of me in the acceptance of myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the belief that to be the best is to be without fear and to be able to be accepted by all and comfortable within the group, when in reality, this is only the fear showing itself as I am fearing people rejecting me and being uncomfortable within group settings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the belief that to be the best I will be accepted and comfortable within the group and so limit myself to desire to be the best instead of living in the moment in absolute self expression with no expectations or desires for more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself based on fear of being rejected and uncomfortable in a group setting because I have defined this experience as painful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the experience of being rejected from a group as a point of being painful and so uncomfortable, when I realize I can define myself and express myself in the way that I decide who I am.

And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make others feel rejected and uncomfortable based on fear and so live out this illusion as belief that those that don’t have skills or are not the best are not as important as those who are the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this belief that the best is based on a polarity as some are and some arent instead of living this within myself in all that I do in consideration of all here as equals and so ensure that all live the best rather then competing for it as this is not necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me and also I forgive I have accepted and allowed desire to be the best direct me into seeking positive energy as experiences of happiness and acceptances, when in reality these are not real because I am not living these in fact within myself but seeking it outside myself from others approval.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek others approval rather then live here and become the potential I can be in each moment as living my words in oneness and equality, and so become an example so all can live this as well and we live in what is best.

When and as I see I am going into a point of comparison within a group setting, I stop and breath, and move myself into my body through moving myself physically, ground myself, and realize I am equal and one with all that are here and do not need to attain anything to realize this, but walk self honesty and change myself to be the living word.

I commit myself to ground myself and move physically to stabilize myself from participating in energy of desiring to be the best.

I commit to stop comparing myself to others in group and work on walking my words in self expression and self acceptance.

I commit myself to stop judging others and so accept all as self and walk with people in equality and see who they are and learn/enjoy them as I would like them to do the same with me.

I commit myself to stop fear of rejection and walk the point of accepting all as life as who we are here.

I commit to move myself to open and push self expression in groups and find ways to expand and grow together.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site