Self Forgiveness (Day 1):The Beginning of Self Deprecation - Day 579

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

For most of my life up until I have started to walk the desteni process and realized i have the power to change myself, I was living very much in self-insecurity and self depreciation, which in it's outflow led me to become angry, revengeful, abusive, even physically violent.

A lot of times in my childhood I remember feeling crazy inside myself like there was a person inside me that wanted to just rip out of my skin and scream due to the rage at times that would course through my body. I often was driven to punching and kicking people in my world, becoming a bully towards those who I saw as weaker than me and then creating a huge petrification of those who I deemed more then me. Resulting over time in a unstable person who could barely function in society and just wanted to be away from people, finding indulgences to quench the petrification that was eating away at me, and be calm for a while, then the voices would come back, "what is out there that can harm me, when will i be harmed, will i be able to survive on this planet, will I be strong enough" and so fear became rooted within me.

I did not, in fact, want to fight or be a bully, but I saw no other way out, everyone around me did the same thing, there were very little examples in my world of those who were at peace and lived peace in there lives, cared for others, and took self-responsibility. And I became equal to that survival system, competing with everyone, fearing my survival, and so it came out as bullying, not being patient when people made mistakes, not taking responsibility to do what is best for others, and so creating a fear-based world that was maddening and not what life is supposed to be about.

I see how I have taken on the anger and rage from family history, copying it from many, it's amazing how much we influence others and they us. This is why it is important to walk the process of self-purification, to know thyself and so be able to direct self in what is best to thus direct others to what is best equally so as how you would like. So living out my bully nature, using passive-aggressive force to move people to do what I want, manipulating in fact to get the desired result, and when my expectations are not met become rigid and cold. I see this pattern play out in my responsibilities at work at times stemming from an impatience I have found because there is an ego self-interest point i am defending and that is not to have to do extra work and also believing that I am better at my job than others and so I have the 'right' to say this in this way or do that to get that result, not in full consideration or being my best self. And thus causing ripples to outflow that are harmful and abusive, which is in need of correction and self-forgiveness.

So I am working with both insecurities and self-righteousness as a polarity design playout within this whole programming I just wrote out, balancing out the systems in place of not actually standing within the patience of what is here and the step by step process that must be walked in this physical reality to get the results that are grounded, long lasting, and best for all. I take short cuts and in life, short cuts always catch up with you, the best way to move forward when one has seen living that is not supporting life is to forgive ourselves, write out the corrections, and walk new in life fresh, here, breath by breath, creating a new you. because I see that taking this on will release the self-interest within myself and thus collapses this polarity design I am battling within myself, and do what is best regardless of the scenario.

Self Forgiveness to come on these points shared.

Thanks for reading.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

How to Create a Presence of Ease - Day 573

I have been looking at this word Reliable, and to me, this word is very sturdy, stable, and within it, it exudes a point of results that put one's reality and self in a state of calmness and ease. How does this work?

Let's look at some word play -

Reliable - Really I am able
                 Real capable
                 Really I am capable

Well for most of my life I have been very anxious and afraid, lots of thoughts have been created and participated in creating unnecessary angst and experience of rushedness and never being satisfied with me. When there is this constant hum of noise as chatter going on in my head about many different things and all the while accumulating energy as fear and anxiety, life becomes rather unstable, chaotic, and not enjoyable most of the time.

For instance, say you are in a house and you have shit everywhere, clothes piling up, dishes piling up, books and papers laid across the counters, tables, and dressers. You are not able to slow yourself down and become calm in your own house because there is so much mess everywhere, causing a sort of chaos within, which causes stress. We all can relate to this experience, this sense of angst and anxiety that clutter and mess make us feel. And then the day comes where you have had enough and you do an hour-long clean or for the messier ones amongst us, a 6-12 hour long clean, and then things become orderly again, your space is simpler, is understood, and you are within yourself feeling more calm, stable, and at ease.

These moments in my past where how I lived my life, in like a rollercoaster ride week by week, never getting down to the actual living words I needed to embody to keep the experience of calm, at ease, and stability a constant in my everyday life. No matter what is here and what I face, like a sink full of dishes or a house that is a mess, there is no need to go into any anxiety because of it. If one has redefined and programmed essentially the tools and so the solution to keep the presence of ease and calm consistent in one's life, then the anxiety will virtually disappear.

The word I have seen that is most supportive in embodying the experience of ease, calm, and stability within and eventually to the without is the word reliability. This word is supported with a structure of discipline of self to bring about a resolution to have order, cleanliness, simplicity, and common sense practical application a constant consistent movement in one's life and living. If one practice and embodies these words and becomes reliable within the application of this step by step action, one can create a presence of calm and ease on a consistent basis in one's life, guaranteed.

Though I realize, there will always be times in our lives where we are caught off guard and things don't go to plan and becoming stressful and chaotic, though if one keeps to this application of being reliable in oneself, building trust in this consistent application of who one is in there best selves, and stay disciplined within the action of embodying this word reliable, the 'really I am capable' our lives will become much easier, simpler, and physical. Trust starts to build as one starts applying who one is as capable, able to do what needs to be done. It's a matter of will to live this and seeing the results for oneself. Working with physical reality is key because the key within the solutions is the doing and who you are within it, asking questions such as what makes sense here? where do things go that makes sense? what is the most efficient way to do this or place this? what is the simplest way to get this done or put away? how best can this task be accomplished? what do I have to do to get this done?

And push oneself through the challenges, to find out your strengths and support yourself in strengthening your weakness. Actions create results, and you can direct how that is going to go. By being reliable within finding a solution in the discipline of sticking to order, simplicity, doing what is best for all, and keeping consistent in the application to find solutions for your life, life becomes more at less stressful and thus calmer and so more content. Stay consistent in this effort within the word reliable of self, and you will embody it as yourself and so create a presence within self of ease naturally and for the long term.

It's a process, enjoy and be grateful for your self pushing through and standing as words of support not only helping you but others as well in your environment.


Support and educate yourself on the links shared:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

What’s Best for all or Self Interest as Destruction? An Example - Day 553

Photo Source

Here i am seeing a pattern I have walked with people in my life that has been consequential where for myself, I have become less adapt at moving in my environment. I am seeing this restriction in lets say the flow of who I am is based on not wanting to compromise or more cooperate with what is here, the physical reality. The principles are clear in what makes for a harmonious reality, which is live in what is best for all, considered all things and keep what is good, stand in the shoes of another as the other is equal to self, and do onto another as how you would want to be treated, though I have to live these principles to in fact stand as them.

For myself not compromising or not cooperating with reality where i do not live these principles above, I am essentially defying reality, not moving in a way that is supportive of this physical reality and so everything in it, which doesn’t make sense as a part of life to live in such a way. Now if I pull this out to lets say a global context, where I walk a self interested path of not cooperating and so not standing within the principles I shared above of what is best for all, I could be responsible for the harm of many. For example, say my job was to add filters to all the water pipes in the world, that will filter out the deadly bacteria that resides in this water, once it goes through these filters, the water is pure and all who drink are well. I have to change these filters three times a year to keep everyone in the world getting access to clean water.

Now this is a lot of responsibility, and this work is routine and boring to me, I am having these emotions come up, I want to quit, I am so bored, though I know if I miss a filter change, I am going to cause many to die due to the bacteria leaking in to the pure water. What do I do?

Here what would the common sense dictate, I have redefined the word common sense to mean sense to be the physical thus all here as life and common to be what is best for all, so here common sense is what is best for all in this physical reality for all here, which is everybody and everything. And obviously what is best in this hypothetical scenario I shared above is keeping everyone healthy and harm free as this is what I would want for myself, fulfilling the principles of life as doing what’s best for all. Life being the physical as the physical is what is real, real is the reality we live in in each moment, what is actually happening direct, real time, here, in the physical of ourselves and all around. So it’s simplistic in a way to understand all of this, though to live it is a different story. Understand that each one is walking this process of realizing that our actions in reality have an effect on not only ourselves, but in fact on everyone we touch and beyond as those whom you touch go and touch others and so forth and so on.

So for me to go into self interest and not stand in the shoes of another and do what is best for all, it’s like I am poisoning and killing myself as I infect my environment equally so with this self interest of self desires coming before the common good of all. We believe when we move in our environment, we do not have an effect on it, though observe children, they are copies of our every move and who do children grow up to be, the adults of this world, the world has never changed, why is this so, because we have never changed how we have been living in a real, substantial way, where ALL LIFE is considered absolutely through living self responsibility for the whole. We are living from a reality that is not real, which is from thinking and our minds, emotional states and reactions of self interest. We are in a day and age, where this is changing, we are now being asked and in essence made to decide here by life as we ask ourselves, who are we as we see the death of billions every year because of not having access to basic human rights such as clean water. So unfortunately the hypothetical I used is a reality for billions, where their end is forced as they don’t have the physical means to do anything about it, mainly access to money in this world.

So it’s an understanding that when I do not want to compromise or cooperate with the physical reality I live in and support what is best for all, I will create equal to this and the reality you live in will start to show this to self. Life is aware and everything existent within it is equal and one, so we humans are not alone, we are part of this world not the dominator of it, it’s time to consider what we are creating and decide who self is within this and live. This is each one’s walk and path, who you are will determine your future, so make it count. This is the path I am walking and I stand for life and nothing less then what is best, we walk physical reality in what is here, so we can create a world that is best for all for real, with real solutions, through self responsible actions in directing the outcome to be what is best for all. It is time, no more waiting. So let’s walk together, create together with the principles of life and so let’s create life and honor who we are as beings.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
https://www.facebook.com/schoolofultimateliving/

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Not Wanting to Compromise - Day 540

Here i am seeing a pattern I have walked with people in my life that has been consequential where for myself, I have become less adapt at moving in my enviroment. I am seeing this restriction in lets say the flow of who I am is based on not wanting to compromise or more cooperate with what is here, the physical reality. The principles are clear in what makes for a harmonious reality, which is live in what is best for all, considered all things and keep what is good, stand in the shoes of another as the other is equal to self, and do onto another as how you would want to be treated, though I have to live these principles to in fact stand as them.

For myself not compromising or not cooperating with reality where i do not live these principles above, I am essentially defying reality, not moving in a way that is supportive of this physical reality and so everything in it, which in a logical way doesn’t make sense. Now if I pull this out in lets say a global context, where I walk a self interested path of not cooperating and so not standing within the principles I shared above of what is best for all, I could be responsible for the harm of many. For example, say my job was to add filters to all the water pipes in the world, that will filter out the deadly bacteria that resides in this water, once it goes through these filters, the water is pure and all who drink are well. I have to change these filters three times a year to keep everyone in the world getting access to clean water.

Now this is a lot of responsibility, and this work is routine and boring to me, I am having these emotions come up, I want to quit, I am so bored, though I know if I miss a filter change, I am going to cause many to die due to the bacteria leaking in to the pure water. What do I do?

Here what would the common sense dictate, I have redefined the word sense to be the physical and common to be what is best for all, so here common sense is what is best for all in this physical reality. And obviously what is best is keep everyone healthy and harm free as this is what I would want for myself, fulfilling the principles of life, which is who we all are. Life being the physical as the physical is what is real, real is the reality we live in in each moment, what is actually happening direct, realtime, here, in the physical of ourselves and all around. So it’s simplistic in a way to understand all of this, though to live it is a different story.

Understand that each one is walking this process of realizing that our actions in reality have an effect on not only ourselves, but in fact on everyone we touch and beyond as those whom you touch go and touch others and so forth and so on. So for me to go into self interest and not stand in the shoes of another and do what is best for all, it’s like I am poisoning and killing myself as I infect my enviroment equally so with this self interest before the common good of all. We believe when we move in our enviroment, we do not have an effect on it, though observe children, they copy our every move and who do children grow up to be, the adults of this world, the world has never changed, why is this so, because we have never taught ourselves and so our children how to live in the physical, how to live within and as reality harmoniously, and how to live in life principles. We are living from a reality that is not real, which is from thinking and our minds, emotional states and reactions of self interest, trying to dominate reality, but common sense, this is impossible. We are in a day and age, where this is changing, we are now being asked by life as we ask ourselves, who are we as we see the death of billions every year because of not having access to basic human rights, this is our creation, it is time to take SELF Responsibility.

So it’s an understanding that when I do not want to compromise or cooperate with the physical reality I live in and support what is best for all, I will create equal to this, and the reality I live in will start to show this to me as I have realized many times already. Life is aware and everything existent within it, so we humans are not alone, we are PART of this reality not the dominator of it, it’s time to consider what we are creating and decide who self is within this and live. This is each one’s walk and path, who I am will determine my future, so I make it count. This is the path I am walking and I stand for and as life and nothing less then what is best. It is time, no more waiting. So let’s walk together, create together with the principles of life and so honor who we are as beings in what is our highest potentials.

This blog was inspired by these recordings:

Raising a Destonian Family - Desteni Farm Discussions
Raising a Destonian Family Part 2 - Desteni Farm Discussions

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/DIPLite