Day 29- I Hate You

Looking at the point of rage and this energy I exist within towards others in my world as hate, and what within myself I am accepting and allowing to not actually face within me and my living, but blaming and thus projecting into another is what I will be walking in this blog. Hate is the opposite of love and thus it's a cyclical polarity cycle that is existing within me that I see I participate in based on my self interest and not getting what I want.

I am owed money from someone and she is stalling to not have to give it to me by saying she does not have it, here, within myself I go into assumptions and thoughts of diminishment towards her based on my knowledge and past assessments of what she has and what I know of that she pays for. Thus within this abusive energy as 'hate' that I 'feel' towards another being, I realize that I use the thoughts of assumptions I have created and base my living with this person on to use it against her and creating war as hate to get what I want achieved. This only furthering the hell that is here as this world, as this is the hell that is existing within me, fighting and conflicting with myself because I desire something that is impossible to have because I am missing myself within it, I am missing me. These energies being fueled by anger from the thoughts that I am not getting what I want, which is the money and thus go into superiority to thus diminish her and force her to give me what I want, the money = the energy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into superiority towards the other in an attempt to put fear in the other so I have an easier time getting what I want.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other due to trying to be more powerful and get an ego boost from winning through my force.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to try and dominate another through my desire to be seen as the best and most powerful, and thus use anger and hate as a fuel to create the energy needed to be more powerful all the while abusing the other and diminishing myself as an abuser to life = myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as thoughts of separation towards another being be more powerful and force them to give me what I want, energy = money.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give more value to money and my desires then giving her the freedom to give me the money when she has it instead of going into ego as anger and hate and create a build up of energy through participating in the back chat that she is selfish and doesn't consider anyone else but herself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other and define myself within and as energy as rage to then go into a point of hate as back chat thoughts of diminishment towards the other and live this out by speaking loudly and trying to diminish the other through my spoken words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into energy as rage and thus speak in a loud voice to try and diminish the other through fear so I can get what I want out of the situation even to the suffering of another that I have caused deliberately.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to deliberately cause suffering and pain to another based on holding onto this point of ego as desires to get what I want and thus when I don't, no matter what the case my be, I go into blame towards the other and desire to get revenge on them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into revenge where I am deliberately trying to cause the abuse to the other in an attempt to release this now accumulated energy of built up frustration and anger that I have created through the back chat of assumptions and thoughts that she is to blame, and thus cause deliberate abuse to myself as her and separate and diminish myself as I am the other that I am abusing.

I forgive myself that I haven't yet accepted and allowed myself to live among all here within stopping desires and giving to others as I would want to receive, and thus within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give to another without the desire to receive something in return and thus when I do not get my due I go into anger and rage because I fear that I have lost something.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear lose when I realize and understand all that is here is me and thus I can never be lost as I am here one and equal with all, only fear as lost can exist in the mind as a made up illusion I am allowing to direct me as I believe it to be real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a world where one have to fear the lose of something as I have created a separation among myself where I have separated myself with myself and thus have veiled myself to myself through this illusion that I can be lost not realizing in this that I have always been right here, in the flesh as the physical as breath as all as one as equal, and in essence as life can never be lost, it's not real it's all in my mind being created through energy as feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of mind as energy through defining myself by feelings, emotions, thoughts, and thus reacting to others in separation by following these points as if they are who I am and thus miss myself here within the other and abuse life in this process and thus abuse myself as life into self diminishment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place money and material things within a possession point of ownership where I desire to keep a hold of all my things and keep note of what is owed as I desire to have what is mine here and given back if I share it to another.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give the gift of life here unconditionally and realize those who do not give are here as me and thus require examples to see what this entail and what this brings about as the giving up self as all to all here within equality instead of conflict is true freedom and true self expression as you are giving to your self the freedom of life to live and be here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give myself unconditionally to all in the realization that when I give all to all here equally I will receive equal and one this giving as the equality of all in the oneness of ourselves as life is all encompassing and thus I will want for nothing because all will be here as me to enjoy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be blinded by rage in deliberate knowledge of what I was creating as abuse but based on the release of energy that was now built up due to the anger and rage feeling I created through the hate that I experienced towards the other and thus accumulated the consequence of separation which little by little diminishes me as a being of life to the mind as energy where eventually I will cease to exist as the mind as me will end.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give my power away to the mind based on accepting and allowing to exist within the polarity of love/hate and thus create myself from these energy outflows as anger and rage, and happiness and excitement, which are not real as they don't last and thus only create the cycles of the up and down polarity poles that this will create in my world and I see as I participate in it with the unsettledness and abuse I create when I exist and continue to direct myself from this starting point with others as mind as relationships of energy attachments rather then standing here within and as life in equality finding solutions and considering the other as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to engage in the emotions of anger and rage and the experience of hate that I am allowing to direct me towards others in my world as my desires weren't met and thus creating the selfishness within and as myself that I am projecting onto the other based on greed and impatiences.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed by desires as greed and impatiences to thus separate myself from others in what is here as what is physically practical fact within the matter that is real as physical and thus direct myself in decency with the other to consider their situation and their circumstance and come to solutions that is able to be lived and agreed by both to thus get the money issue resolved and have their be a solution that is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the mind as ego as energy addictions to direct me into abusing others for my own self interest pleasure of releasing energy and gaining energy through the relationship connections that are built and thus participated in to attain what I want and thus feed off these relationships in both negative and positive poles to gain my energy as my self interest so I can be happy again and get my needs met.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live within energy relationships as mind illusions within my world where I abuse life and separate myself here form physical substance as who I am and as who all are here in the perfection of life as breath in the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to greed as ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to rage and anger as emotions and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as emotions in separation to life here as me in equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself into the illusion as mind creation of polarity poles of negative/positive as I realize and see I am both the negative and positive and thus must and will walk to equalize myself with what is real and stable, the physical as life which is and always has been one and equal with me.

When and as this point of anger as rage comes up and I go into blame as a hate for another being, I stop, breath, and continue breathing to re-align myself with my physical body by going to another location and stopping the participation with what ever I am doing completely. I breath through all reactions as energy movements to go back for more, and simply let go of the point of participation in the drive to gain and release energy onto others. I realize and see that it is abusing life and thus abusing me, I stop abusing life as I would not like to be abused myself.

I commit to stand and stop all points of energy addiction as thoughts, emotions, and feelings as mind as I see them come up until they are stopped and I am here stable within and as the physical as breath.

I commit to walk within and as myself to let go of all separation within the polarity play outs I currently exist as til I remain here and am not moved by anything, only my own self direction.

I commit to live here among all life when and as I have come to stability within my direction as myself in finding solutions to what is here as separation and faulty living by standing as an example as I walk myself to life and thus help and show others the way to walk as themselves to life through and as the self honest living here as me.

I commit to stop my ego and stand here among life in humbleness and gentleness as caring and sharing for the other as this is for me too.



hate, rage against the machine, raging, rage, spiteful, i hate you, self hatred, abuse to others, fighting, conflict, debt, love/hate, relationships, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni eqafe, 2012

Day 28- Me as Ugly

Walking this point of seeing myself as a ugly and thus what this imply within and as how I conduct myself within and as my living as less then who and what I am capable of being within and as the equality and oneness as myself here as this physical reality and all that reside here. I realize and see that this point of self sabotage of seeing myself as an ugly person is based on judging the word ugly as bad and thus defining others based on my idea of this word and thus sabotaging myself as I am only judging myself and causing abuse in the process.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself as a ugly and thus judge myself as less then other people when I come into contact with them firstly by the way they look.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself within and as my mind as a loser based on my picture presentation being ugly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as ugly within and as the body picture presentation as if this picture in my mind define me and my projection as an idea of what is supposedly beautiful is not seen based on the picture in my mind and thus seeing the myself less then those who are this 'beautiful picture' I am comparing to in my head.

I forgive myself accepting and allowing myself to go into self interest within only desiring to see my idea of beauty within everything I see as I desire to be seen in this way as well and thus go into separation and judgement of others as if this is who I am and what matter here within this world. I realize and see the human physical body as what it is is a gift for us here to live and thus is functioning within physical considerations and supports and thus is not defined by any idea nor projection of beauty or ugliness coming from the mind, the body is here simply and absolutely one and equal with the physical as what the body consist of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life and the human physical body as ugly/beautiful within an idea that this is an either/or point and thus judging others based on a positive or negative charge depending on what  polarity I see them in.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge a being based on the positive charge within liking them or being attracted to them if they 'fit' into this picture I have in my head as a lean muscular athletically attractive looking picture in my head.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold a picture within my head as a memory of a lean, athletic, muscular, attractive looking in my mind and thus define life by this picture.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define life based on picture in my mind and thus separate me here from the life being that reside and is one and equal with the human physical body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take advantage of the human physical body within and as my self as I see and realize it unconditionally supports me and allows me to live even with all the abuse and mis-treatment I have given it over my lifetime, it is here for me thus I commit to walk in oneness and equality with it as my self to thus stand and be here within support and assistance to all life and to thus support and assist the human physical body as I would want and it does always with me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from my human physical body based on my desire to be perfect for others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be perfect for others because I am not seeing nor walking self perfection within and as my living but trying to attain it through my mind which is impossible because the mind is generated by illusion and polarities of positive/negative thus always causing friction within and as self to generate energy to stay alive. The mind is energy generating for and as itself as who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be so thus it can stay alive as we do as we have come to believe that we are our minds only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am only my mind here thus missing me here as living within and as myself in each breath as life in what is real as this physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk within and as desires in the mind of trying to live for others instead of remaining here and living here within and as myself coming to practical solutions for this world stopping the self interest of myself to gain good feelings from others as praise and compliments.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be complimented from others to give proof and evidence of who I am as I am seeking for this approval from others as I don't see it within myself as I see myself as less then and thus define me as ugly as this being a bad thing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to seek approval from others in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give the word ugly a negative charge and thus see others and myself within and as my world as being ugly and thus judging this as less then those I see as beautiful.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give the word beautiful a positive charge and thus judge others and myself within my world as more then this based on the idea I have formed as beauty as a picture in my head.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define life by pictures in my mind and thus define and limit myself as this physical existence to the mind as illusion as ideas thru pictures. I realize this is not real and thus I stop this and walk as the physical equal and one as who I am.

When and as this point comes up to judge my physical or any other life here within the polarity of ugly/beauty, I stop, breath, and say "I am here and I am physical life one and equal with all beings" stopping all thoughts, ideas, pictures within and as myself by letting them go, and live here within and as physical practical movements until I am no more moved by polarities or mind ideas.

I commit to walk as life in the physical and stop defining myself within and as pictures and ideas of polarities as beauty/ugly and positive/negative.

I commit to stop the pictures in my head as memories of past and live here within and as breath to let go of this energy.

I commit to stop taking the physical human body for granted and walk in support and assistance one and equal with it, so thus we can align together and live in peace as this world as myself as this physical existence.

Day 27 - Me as a Weakling Polar B(F)ear - Part 2

Continuing on about fearing others and my reality and how I have created myself in a way to always sabotage myself as I see myself as weak and thus define others within this polarity of weak/strong causing abuse to others and myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as strong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself when I do something within a group such as trip or stutter my words go into an extreme point of self judgment that I am so stupid and thus define myself based on this point of living where I was not 'perfect' within presentation in front of others I see that I have to impress.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have to impress others to be accepted, and within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge others and thus not accept them based on my idea that they have to be this idea of perfection I am holding onto in my head.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as stupid and less then others if I am not perfect in my presentation in front of others and go into a state of depression because I am seeing myself less then others because I messed up and others didn't.

Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anger towards myself because I messed up my chance to be the strongest and the best within the group due to me tripping or stuttering my words because I have an idea that I have to be perfect in everything I do and if I achieve this I will be the best within the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be the best in the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be seen as the prettiest in the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be seen as the smartest in the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look and desire to be accepted within the group and even better be seen as the best one within the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse others in my backchat to thus diminish them if I feel threatened or if I see myself as inferior due to the picture presentations being stronger then mine and thus go into a suppression around them and be nasty in my thoughts because I am angry that I am not the best.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be in competition with everyone in my world and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define life based on energy as ideas of weak/strong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to judge myself as well as all life within this idea of perfection through what I look like and how I act in front of others to fit in and be seen as the best.

I forgive myself for allowing an accepting to change my actions deliberately to fit into a group and be seen in the best light I can generate.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to seek others approval.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not accept myself here and thus constantly be searching for myself in points outside myself realizing that its an infinite cycle to no where because I am looking for something I already am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to search through separating myself when I realize I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate me from life here as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sabotage myself due to my addiction to energy, I realize to life here in freedom and peace I have to stop my addiction to energy in all forms and live equal and one with all life here as me stopping all points of separation forevermore.

When and as this point of separating myself within competition and comparison  for me to gain energy to be better, I stop, breath, and speak 'I am one and equal with all'. I stop all thoughts and backchat thoughts of separation and spitefulness towards others, and live here within this reality as breath to find and walk practical solutions. I continually stop all thoughts, words, actions, of trying to be more as well as stopping the suppression of myself through thinking I am less then others. I stop all fear of others and my world and engage in the realization that I am the other one and equal and we are all walking our processes to freedom from mind energy to life here as me.

I commit to stop separating myself into polarities of strong/weak.

I commit to stand here among all and push myself to live and breath in oneness with everyone and equality so my ego can be gone and I can stand here in freedom as life with all as me.

I commit to become aware of who and what I am doing and what and who I am with so thus I can determine the best route to take to create the best outcome for all and push to stop fearing life.

Day 26 - Me as a Weakling Polar B(F)ear - Part 1

Looking at a point of fear in my reality, what I see is that I fear conflict with others. I fear being shut down and humiliated with another so I rather not go there and kind of skate through life scenarios. Within this skating through I will remain in fear because I am not directing the point, facing it, but suppressing and avoiding the point of humiliation and conflict with others by just skating through and being passive, so I can stay safe in my bubble until the next moment where I can be happy again by becoming the strong one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear conflict with others due to the fear of being shut down and humiliated in front of others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear others and have a belief that if I am in a conflict with another I will have the chance to be proved wrong or seen as not as good as the other and within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself within the other in a point of ego where I am in competition and thus looking to win and be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only be existing here within competition and comparison with another in my world and thus when faced with a point that is in conflict I suppress myself and go into fear because of a dislike and petrification of being seen and humiliated within and as my peers and others in a way where I will be seen less then and be seen as the loser because I got called out.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be in fear of this point of humiliation based on me accepting and allowing myself to be within and as a point of competing and trying to win.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the feeling of embarrassment and humiliation based on defining this feeling as bad and thus avoiding it to not have to feel it again thus avoiding people and suppressing my expression due to allowing this feeling to direct me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define a feeling as bad and thus allow it to direct me into suppression and limitation within my world and my expression based on seeing this feeling as real and that it is who I am and thus be defined by myself through defining me as bad and inferior due to holding onto this belief that humiliation means I lose and I am a loser.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to thus fear people who I see as strong and confident within their demeanor and out going and thus go into suppression of myself and limit my participation with them within the expectation that I will freeze up and not be able to hold my own and thus expect me to be humiliated so thus I rather just not express and suppress myself to not have to face this feeling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress my expression with others due to the belief that if I do express myself with someone who shows they are strong I will lose as I see myself as weak and thus will then have to face this humiliation as I see that I was beaten in the argument and thus could potentially be called out or made fun of which I fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear others within a picture of confidence and out goingness within their personality and thus allow suppression based on holding onto past memories where I was humiliated and thus had to face this emotion as embarrassment and being seen as weak and less then because I lost within the conflict/competition with my peers.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold onto memories of the past with my peers where I would be called out and humiliated in front of others and thus be defined as weak and made fun of and thus within that defined myself as weak and less then as I was called out and lost within the competition with the other in the conflict that was being faced and thus defined me as weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself as weak and less then others based on holding onto past memories with my peers when I was seen as weak and thus called out on this as I lost the competition of egos and thus was casted as a weakling with the group based on defining myself by this and playing into this role.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a inferiority stance within myself and suppress myself around others especially those in my peer group and not face them within what is being lived but go into suppression of myself so thus I don't have to face this idea of possibly being humiliated again based on my fear of this and being seen by this from others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself with others based on holding onto memories of being humiliated and called out and due to this fear of being humiliated I go into suppression of my self expression because I don't want to lose and have my ego damaged as being seen as less then others in a obvious way by accepting myself to play this role and thus define all life as myself as weak/strong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live within and as competition with myself here and thus go into a point of perfection where I am trying to live up to this picture of perfection within my mind and thus holding all points within my world to this standard and when points play out within the win/loss scenarios and I define myself as 'loser' I go into more of a state of suppression as depression due to me seeing myself as a 'loser' and less then others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself as less then others here and thus allowing myself to go into fear towards others in my world due to the fact that I am separating myself from life as me and defining myself by how others treat me through the eyes of competition and thus defining my world in these win/loss, weak/strong play outs.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of competition in the quest for perfection as I desire this for myself as my ego so I can win and be the best in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to allow my ego to direct me in my world where I go into competition and comparison with others and live into this superior/inferior happy/depressed scenario based on what polarity I am getting as feedback in my world based on my reaction to others and how the play out is played out based on seeing and thus defining myself within either weak or strong and thus playing this role in my world by either becoming out going and boisterous or suppressing myself and fearing others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to play the role as inferior/superior based on my desire to be the best and thus allow and accept myself to go into suppression/happiness based on what polarity I am playing out in reaction to my world and my idea of who I am in relation to the ideas and fear of others I am holding on to.

To be continued.....





perfection, living perfect, self help, self hatred, fear of others, being bullied, being humiliated, ego, fear of life, equality, equal money, eqafe, journey to life, desteni, 2012

Day 25- Not Getting What I Want

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a mini temper tantrum when I don't get what I want and expect due to the fact that I was expecting a certain point to manifest and when it doesn't I go into anger and frustration and blame because I am addicted to the desires I am expecting to occur.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into mental tantrum towards life when I don't get my way and tear through someone with back chat and nastiness so I can diminish them within myself as I seek revenge against them for not fulfilling my expectations of desire I am addicted to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into back chat and thoughts of abuse and nastiness due to me taking it personally that someone did not give me what I wanted and thus I go into attack mode.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to berate and abuse others within my mind because I am feeling inferior to who they are here as I have come to believe that I am at a disadvantage and thus within this position I have created within my mind to use all means to become more then them, even if that is to cause abuse and suffering through my words or actions due to the thoughts I am creating towards and about them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take actions of another that happened in real time as a personal attack unto me without any understanding or direct knowledge of what the circumstances may be, but based on assumptions of 'it must be because they don't like me or theirs some problem with me' I go into inferiority towards the being and thus try to diminish them as I am seeking to gain control again through becoming in some way superior to them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take real time actions that happen in life as a personal attack onto me and that it is being done to harm me when I realize and see that within myself I can not be harmed and see that I have no real stability within the situation as I am completely reacting due to ego and desire.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to let go of this desire to get what I want at all times and thus become impatient and angered when what is suppose to happen in my mind and thought do not manifest within this I realize that thought is not real nor in practical consideration of the physical as space time thus only looking at the situation in an egocentric 'me' only outlook and thus missing the actuality of what is here and causing unnecessary abuse based on assumptions that are unfounded and based on reactions not fact.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed within thoughts as assumptions through accepting and allowing reactions of my desires not being met and thus go into backchat and eventually abuse in my living based on thoughts that aren't real and creating unnecessary suffering to another and the diminishment of myself as life here in equality as I am only taking myself into consideration and my own needs.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss myself here within physical practical reality and within the consideration and physical living of others within my world and within this reality and thus realizing that life is not always going to go to plan nor going to be able to be predicted and thus I must and will walk to become flexible and patient with others allowing life to unfold as it will and thus go with in equality and oneness and let go of the desire to control and have my ego engaged and fulfilled.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist only within desire in a quest to attain something from outside within this world based on me not accepting myself here and being comfortable with who I am and how I live, and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use desire as an escape to not have to face myself within who I have become as a being who dislikes herself and always accept this point of want and need to exist because I am not fulfilled within myself as who I am existing as based on judging and comparing myself to others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I am missing something within myself and thus search for it within points outside in my world in hopes that I will find that missing piece that makes me complete, and thus when I don't get what I expected and desired I go into fear because I believe I need that to continue living and understanding who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe and perceive myself as less then other life here and go into fear in the presences of others based on my idea that I am not as worthy and that I am not as good.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into beliefs about who I am here within and as myself as I easily get lost within the mind dimensions of judgments and comparisons, so thus i stop judgments and comparisons and stop thoughts by remaining here living in reality and accepting myself continually as all life in equality as I realize this is what is here as life and thus I am here a part of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into beliefs and judgments about myself that I am not worthy and less then other beings based on the way I perceive things through my mind and thus react to others based in these beliefs and judgements and cause abuse.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perceive life through the mind as thoughts and feelings/emotions which is limiting me to existing within and as all life, as mind is only based on energy relationships as positive/negative and thus I am only existing within these two points of polarity in generating this which will always cease to continue eternally, but within life, life is here within everything, and thus I as life am part of the everything and can thus exist as everything forever as this is what is here as the physical and is such the evidence and truth of this, I must only will this as self in oneness and equality with all as me here in life as this physical existence to be it here for real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as the mind as energy play outs for feeling and emotions as desires and self fulfillment when I see and realize this in fact is not real as it is only within the mind dimensions which is made up and created by me thus I can stop it and let go the desires and emotion addictions and live here within the physical as who I really am as all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be addicted to desire based on being addicted to this point of fear of life and so allow anger and frustration to direct me towards others in blame when I don't get my desires fulfilled.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow desires to direct me and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow anger and frustration to exist and direct me in my living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use revenge towards other when I see that I am only going into a mental state of withdrawal and inferiority and thus I stop blame and inferiority and live within myself here as one with life and live equal as who I am with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself with wants and desires and abuse life when I don't get what I want.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into separation and blame others for what I created and accepted within me as taking things personally, and thus I realize and see I must accept myself here and stand as the solution in oneness and equality with all as myself to be free of these mind games as want and desire and just live and enjoy all here as who I am really am one with the physical.

When and as this point of desire come up to get what I want, I stop breath, and do not accept the desire to direct me as I realize this will go into a point of expectation and thus abuse as separation towards others and myself will ensue, thus I stop the point at it's core within stopping my desires. I accept me here fully within who I am and thus accept all here within who they are, walking in common ground with others and coming to solutions and best for all scenarios stopping blame and anger when things turn out different then planned. I allow life to be lived and I adapt and transform myself within all situations as acceptance and equality as I realize what is here is my creation and thus to live in oneness and equality I have to take responsibility for myself and my creation as my life and walk equal and one as the physical with the physical and to live best for all as practical solutions we all can enjoy.

I commit to stopping all points of desires when they arise and stand within and as practical reality here as physicality to come up with solutions and best for all scenarios to be in equality with all.

I commit to stop being directed by energy as my mind within emotions/feelings/desires and live here within and as my physical participation, slowing myself down, breathing, and letting go to the addiction as mind energy to life here in living as myself with all in equality.

I commit to stopping taking things personally and live within and as the acceptance of myself with all here and allow myself as well as all life to live and find common ground stopping all conflict.

I commit to stop fear of others and my insecurity of who I have been in the past, and push to remain here and stand equal with all as I realize I am here and thus I am equal.




not getting what I want, wrath of hell, cry baby, raising hell, inferior, addicted to desires, attack, consciousness, mind, mental states, equality, equal money, desteni, journey to life 2012, 

Day 24- Impatiences

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be impatient towards life within and as my world.

I forgive myself allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of impatience towards others in my world that are slow in learning or slow in movement, and thus go into irritation and anger towards them because they are slowing me down.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as a point of impatience due to the fact that I can't get what I want when I want it and thus have to wait for a point that I desire to have in immediacy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire a point in immediacy because I believe that I can not wait and thus going into the mind as within competition to thus combat the being who stand in my way to thus get my desires met and me closer and closer to that point that I want to attain to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into desires of getting things immediately so I can always be getting to a point where I can attain all my desires in the quickest possible way through rushing and moving quick.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move in quickness because I believe I will miss something if I don't move fast.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear of lose due to me accepting myself as the mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that within myself I need to do things quickly and need to do things within a time frame where I set the rules thus expecting others within my world to realize these time measurements I am holding life within and thus go into irritation and anger towards that being who cause me to not get what I wanted in that time frame.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to place time restraints and constriction on life within and as a mind projection of me having to move quickly and thus limit life here within time and movement as my mind is in a hurry.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself with time and accept and allow myself to limit myself with others due to my reaction to the expectation I put on them if they don't meet my desired goals for them and myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project myself into the future in an attempt to cover all bases and have control within the situation I am in to thus be able to have my world be as I desire it and thus when it doesn't go as planed within the manner in which I desired it to I blame another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to blame another based on the projections of myself I am allowing and accepting to be directed by when I realize and see that life does not have to be based on time, life is able to function within and as who we are within the pace of living which is the pace of moving as breath and thus to move quicker or slower within life as a breath is going into points as the mind in separation to get something from the living for self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here as the living breath in movement and thus go into a polarity playout of laziness and quickness to compensate for the up and down playouts this cause where I lax and then go quick to make up for lost time instead of being here within stability as I breath and as I walk one step at a time and thus accumulate self movement within a stable footing I go into the mind as haste and thus crash and just want to do nothing accept instability and energy movements as the mind exist within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat thoughts of diminishment towards another based on me accepting and allowing myself to exist within a point of time as competition where I believe I have to be or do something in a certain time frame or I lose and go into thoughts of hate and blame to the other who I see won based on me existing within separating me from the other and seeing them in competition as better/worse.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life based on my own self limitations and expectations onto others and thus diminish myself based on me abusing life by creating conflict when I don't get my expectations met.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into diminishing myself by abusing another in my mind in putting them down and seeing them as not as good as me because they are not walking the same pace as me and based on my belief that I am quick and thus quick makes me more capable, I believe I am better and thus validate the abuse within myself because I am accepting my ego as being more special direct me based on what I do.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to diminish and abuse life based on my backchat of seeing me more then another as more capable and thus go into thoughts of name calling and blame to release the frustration that has built up because I didn't get my way by getting my time requirements met to my liking based on what is happening in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take my anger out on another and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to limit myself to the mind as boundaries as time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting time to direct me here and thus not live here within who I am as I walk and direct myself at the pace I walk as breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by what I do and not by who I am thus missing myself here within the opportunity to live as one and equal with myself as all life as I realize this is who I really am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss life here within desires and definitions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as desires and definitions and have that direct me.

When and as this point of rushing and impatience is here, I stop breath and slow myself down to the rhythm of breath, focus on my physical movement and who I am here as life. I stop the energies through breathing stop the thoughts within myself, and live as who I realize I am one with the other. No judgments but just walking the correction to stop participating in the mind as time restraints, anger as emotions, and live within the consideration of the other and find common ground and support to thus be able to walk here as equal and one with all life as who I am.

I commit to stopping the rush to live and thus then the desire for relaxation, and walk within and as my breath as life and thus move within the physical as I breath and live from this point of stability as I ground myself here and stop the movements within to go into conflict.

I commit to see and understand who the other is as myself and find what is needed to walk equality with the other to always be able to find solutions for what is here and support and assist the other as I would want to be supported.

I commit to stopping emotions direct me as anger and thus desire and walk within the physical doing what's best for all and walking within equality so all life can be free to live and breath as self in expression.





impatience, 2012, rushing, im late, being late for work, rushhour, traffic, he did it, hurry up, slow, equality, life, equal money, desteni, eqafe,

Day 23- Walking as an Abuser due to Greed

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the abuse of life exist within this world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept the abuse of life as I accept the abuse within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as abuse as I exist as an abusive person to others through my actions as desiring more.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a system in this world that allow the abuse to those who are vulnerable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist with a system in place that accept some to have the ability to live in comfort and some to live in suffering due to the fact that they live with no money.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a system exist where life is determined within living or dying based on the support as money that is available, and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a system that cause abuse to life due to the fact that the means of living in this world is scarce and only given to a few where I accept and allow those to go without in a deliberate point of abuse and suffering because I realize there is enough, but I don't want to share.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire more then another as a want were within society this perpetuates the greed and hoarding of the resources in this world that is here for all to only be given to those who desire to have more only for themselves.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not share with my fellow life beings unconditionally as I see not doing this is not doing it for myself so thus I am only sabotaging myself here, when I realize and see there is enough for all to live in dignity.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as greed in my attempt to get what I want because I desire it and have the idea that I need it even in the face of the suffering in this world that go without as I go with more then my fair share.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within need and desire as illusions of the mind and allow this to direct me to have more then my fair share. I stop this point of illusion as need and desire and give to all as I would want for myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be stingy and greedy in not sharing the resources that are here with all life as myself as I do realize that the life here is one with me thus feel the suffering and ill effects that I feel when I go without resources which is not even for a short moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as a point of desire to have a reward for who I am here and thus seek this reward through the stuff that is here within desire for myself to be happy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire happiness from points outside me as a reward for what I do instead living within and as each moment and living happiness as myself in the very life that I am living as I realize it is a gift.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire more then my fair share so I can get more and more of this nice feeling as I attain more and more stuff, this I realize is not real because this feeling only lasts as long as the moment I get the thing initially, then it runs out and I am left empty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within this point of desire and reward for my own happiness feeling within myself, but realizing I am only cycling through the feelings and emotions of happiness and depression due to the outside point as a reward which makes me happy for a moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within points of desire and thus allow points of depression based on living from separation and defining my happiness on something outside of myself which I realize will always be fleeting.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within polarity play outs of happiness/depression by separating myself from myself here in who I am within living to desires and wants which come from my mind which shows I am not here living but in my mind somewhere.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself here within living as I realize I must accept myself here to truly have fulfillment and give to all as I would want for myself to truly be happy here as who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from life and cause abuse.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life.

When and as this point of desire to have more, I stop, breath, and let the desire go, I walk in all points in my world one and equal with all and thus share myself and all I have equal and one to all as I would for myself. I stop greediness and stop abusing life within separating myself into feelings as happiness.

I commit to stop greediness and the desire for more within and as my living and I commit to share all I have freely with all in my world as what is here is for all and I give as I would like to receive.

I commit to stopping separating myself from others and thus walk solutions in this world that will indeed support all life here through walking the principles of oneness and equality as who I am to a new system that is best for all and in self truth as I walk this as myself so all can live and the abuse will stop forevermore because all are in support one with me and equal in all ways.




abuse, abuse life, greediness, war, low class, middle class, wealthy, elite, social system, equality, equal money, eqafe, desteni, 2012, new system, solutions