Day 129- Justification Character – Self Forgiveness

How do I justify myself is through accepting and allowing thoughts of self diminishment and self compromise, such as ‘you can’t do that, you’ll be seen as a fool’ or ‘your not smart enough, don’t even bother’ or ‘it’s too much, you won’t be able to handle the conflict that’ll arise’, so within the pattern of these thoughts, is justification and self diminishment, where I allow myself to fall back into the patterns and suppressions because I accept these thoughts as me, over and over again.

Here walking the self forgiveness on these points above, this is from the blog Day 129- Justification Character – Self Manipulation for reference.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the thought “you can’t do that, you’ll be seen as a fool” to direct me into a suppression state where in I justify this suppression state based on this thought and believing it, and thus living into this thought as if it is real and defines who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my own self suppression with a thought because I don’t want to stop the thought as this will mean I will have to face the point I am resisting by giving into this thought and thus suppressing my expression in living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of being seen as a fool by others based on this fear of failure, and thus accept and allow fear to direct my living within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself and thus diminish myself based on this belief that I can’t walk through my fears based on the fact that I allow them to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my inaction in standing up to the fear, not accepting the fear, and thus moving through the fear to thus not push myself within my living, and walk what I realize must be walked to transcend these fears which is face them and see that they don’t direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my suppression with these beliefs that I can’t face these fears, they are too big, and they are too much to handle, and thus accept and allow myself to fall and give into justifying my abuse to life and to the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my abuse to life within accepting and allowing thoughts of self diminishment direct where in I don’t even live into the point to test it for myself and see what relevance and fact is there, but simply allow the mind as fear direct me into suppressing myself before I live at all in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my abuse to life within my own self interest were I don’t want to change, when I realize change is the only possible way forward, as the consequences of not changing is death in self in life, and this is not the way of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live into self interest as justifications where there is no justification to live and accept abuse within myself towards myself or any life that is here, as I realize the process to live here as the physical in what is best for all is in front of me, and I see the path that must be walked, so thus I stop the justification, and walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within the point of blame that I can’t get past the points that I face, when this is absolute self deceptive within justifying my own lack of effort and movement, while in this moment many suffer and die based on the system that is created by the human based on this very construct of not moving and forcing change to what is here.

To be continued.

self forgiveness, self compromise, suppression, justification, conflict, foolish living, expression, consequences, abuse, abusing life, self interest, transcend, desteni, equal money, 2012, journey to life

Day 126- Letting Go of the Past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring my past as how I experienced myself in the past here within this moment in pictures as memories of me being a ‘fuck up’ and thus defining myself by this starting point whenever I allow these pictures as memories to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when interacting with another being, accept the picture of me as less then, where in I will remember how I feel about myself based on how I was treated in the past, so thus holding onto memories of being mistreated in the past and thus within this accepting this as who I am here, a person who is going to get mistreated, and thus live into this by seeing myself as someone who gets abused as I allow others to abuse me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow others to direct how i am and thus allow abuse onto me, as i did not stand up for myself, showing i am abusing myself by not walking what is best for self as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within moving about my day, accept thoughts that I am less then others and thus accept the feeling of unworthiness to direct me based on believing this of myself, by defining myself by these emotions and feelings of unworthiness and thus the depression state, living into this depression state physically, by holding myself back and allow my past as the fuck up character defining me in my living in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the fuck up character based on holding onto memories of me living and judging myself as a fuck up, such as when I skied into a picnic bench, where in, I was made fun of from that point on, based on this action, and thus blaming myself for this ‘accident’ where in it was out of my control, and thus just an occurrence that happened due to circumstances I had no control over at that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to this memory of me skiing into a picnic bench and thus from this memory live into the inferior character as I see within the group I was with, they used this as a point of weakness in me, and thus I defined myself based on this weakness they called out, which I realize is not a weakness as we are not defined by weak/strong, but is simply a point that occurred, and thus learn from this point to correct it in the future, and stop the judgment of self and others based on happenings that are not 'normal' or 'regular'. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally that I was made fun of for skiing into the picnic bench and thus define myself by the words of others and the incident that occurred in the past, and re-live it over and over when I find that another is trying to exploit a weakness or my perception as such, and thus go into inferiority based on remembering this memory of being called as weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the past and thus by a memory of me being made fun of by other kids, as I realize this was based on the kids mis-education on how to treat others human beings, and the mind within that separate us from each other due to our own actions or inactions to walk a change that supports life, where in, I must walk the change to support life as I realize that I have this opportunity to do this process now of correcting this point to stop the mind from directing me and thus teach others to stop as well, so thus I walk the change that is here within this process, to stop directing myself by thoughts and memories of the mind and live here for the betterment of all life by equalizing myself with the physical existence and changing what physical matters to support everyone living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the words of others, and thus define myself through who I am in regards to the words of others, instead of walking me as living words, which I realize is the correction that I must walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by being yelled at by older beings, and thus go into inferiority around those who are older then me based on defining myself by age superiority, where in I immediately go into inferiority due to the belief that those who are older are more wise and know better, I realize that this not self supportive as I am separating myself from others, and thus going into a point of inferiority automatically based on this belief about elders being more capable/knowledgable/wise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by being criticized and thus defined myself by the criticism of another believing it to be true about me, and thus instead of using common sense reasoning in self honesty, I will believe the other and thus change myself to suit the others words, seeing myself not as capable as the other and that the other is usually correct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself and my capabilities due to seeing myself not as capable as those who are older in age then me, and thus go into inferiority when I find that I am criticized by another and thus allow that criticism to define me and change myself to accommodate another’s words instead of trusting myself and living my words that support me in self honesty and common sense assessments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad and inferior if I am criticized by someone who is older, and thus believe that I am wrong.

I fogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow beliefs that I am inferior to elders and not as capable to direct me into suppression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change myself for others and not trust myself within my living and my self application in who I am in self honesty.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my expression based on my holding of the past in who i believe myself to be in my mind, i realize i must walk the change to live here in breath, and walk the physical in what matters and can be changed to support life in all as i would for myself, live here in the physical as breath and stop the mind from  directing me as thoughts, pictures, memories, and beliefs, it's not worth it and it's self abusive.

Self Corrective Statements to Follow.

letting go, stop the past, live here, breath, stable living, criticism, mistreated, bulled, memories, process, elders, common sense assessment, suppression, equal life, desteni, 2012, eqafe, stop and change, journey to life