My Journey to Life: super face

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Superficial – Self Forgiveness and Self Correction to Live – Day 316

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be an image that is seen by others as super, best, desired, and highlighted based on the fact that within and as who I am I have accepted and allowed to see myself as inferior to others image and thus stand to compete rather then be here in who we are for real equal as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an image only and thus compare and compete against other images in my world not realizing and/or living the fact that all images are illusion of the mind created to separate in to more or less, and thus this is used by the ego to be best while others lose causing abuse. Life here do not abuse as life as self realize that all here is self thus one is only abusing oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see images around me, based on desires and emotional attachments as energies of acceptance or feeling good because someone liked my image and thus am limited within the acceptance of others liking me rather then me giving this to myself and creating a real relationship with myself in creating what I enjoy and what I will accept and allow and what not as a self direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only limit myself and my environment to seeing images alone as pictures and emotional attachments in my mind missing the truth of what is real, that life is not images and thus life is not a feeling or emotions, but is simply here living and can be lived in common sense and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with images and desiring to be special within being a ‘super’ ‘face’ rather then seeing what is relevant and thus what needs changing through creating and ensuring the best life for all here on this planet, where images is not relevant as obviously life is more then images.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use distractions such as competition and comparison to get what I want through using this super face as this will only cause self compromise because I am not self willed and self directed, but directed by polarities through energy that will only seek this fulfillment as self interest and not reality based living to make sure the change necessary within me and thus the without of me as this world is sorted and all abuse ends.

When and as I see I am going into a point of desire in wanting my image looked at or changing myself in a point of self compromise for others to accept me, I stop and breath, and I realize that within this I am compromising myself because I am split and thus not self directed and so will easily be swayed by desires and the mind and others acceptance then what is best for life through standing within this point no matter what mind desires or points I face.

I commit myself to stop and investigate each point I go into of self compromise where I am searching for something outside myself like a feeling or a acceptance, and thus stop participating in it until I am satisfied I can stand in this point.

I commit myself to stop the point of self compromising by checking through slowing down my starting point for doing things, and correct it if it's due to a point of acceptance outside myself.

I commit myself to give self care and self nurture through testing and developing this point for myself through becoming gentle with me but steadfast within my discipline to stop going into self interest/self compromise.

I commit myself to stop defying this point of self care and self acceptance by actually being consistent within it and stopping all the mind attachments within self interest/self compromise, and embrace self within and as all that is here and walking whatever is necessary to make sure I can stand no matter what and not be swayed by emotions or feelings as these are not real and thus I commit to stop participating in them and focus on physical reality, my breath, and living in and with my body as I move.

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Marlen Vargas Del Razo

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Saturday, June 8, 2013

Superficial – What’s in a Word – Day 315

So here within this word Superficial I am looking at what the word is saying as it’s purpose, so it’s saying the ‘Super’ ‘Face’ of myself, the image of who I want to be as the ego self, pushing to show face and thus be the super face to get the most attention from others. So here looking at the starting point of this particular point of my image, I have come to realize I am very much into the way my image is presented to others, and making sure before I go anywhere that I am looking the best I can. It has become a paranoia because I create this look I must achieve as the picture in my mind, and thus if I see at anytime, such as a glimpse in a mirror or in a window, and I am not up to par, then I will go into a reaction of fear and anxiety because I have judged myself as very unpleasant looking if I do not have the ‘approved’ look and thus the ‘super’ ‘face’ to present to my environment and thus get acceptance.

Now, for real, this is crazy living and self sabotage to the max as this scenario of trying to look perfect obviously is a point of self interest because who am I trying to look perfect for? Myself? No because when I am alone, I am quite content and ok with the way I am looking and really I don’t even bother with paying attention to it. But once someone else enters the scenario, then my paranoia kicks in of, ‘oh gosh, I must have my ‘super’ ‘face’ on, I must be presentable". This showing that I am only caring about others, what they think, how they perceive me, and this at the end of the day is due to self interest as there is a point I will not let go of, the definition and thus image of looking my best. Why do I have to look in this way? Who am I trying to impress? Obviously I am not accepting myself and thus will always be in fear due to always seeing myself less then, and thus having to become an image for others to be acceptable.

This obviously the product of my mind and what I have accepted and allowed in my mind through comparisons, judgments, and competition, and so live in this self created misery because I want to be something that is not in fact real and can never be achieved. I am chasing something that has no solution and thus why I have existed in my head in polarities for the the whole of my life, missing what is in fact real, missing myself in creating my living into self perfection, missing me understanding and building an equal relationship with me and others in my world, missing the existence for myself that I could create if I just stop the desires to be more, to be special, to be wanted, to be the best, it has to stop and thus it will only stop when I stop existing as the super face and start with the real self, as the face is part of the body which is part of everything here. And thus what is real is here as this world and thus who I am within it equal and one to who I create myself and direct myself as, there is in fact no separation here as all are physical and all are life, this separation in fact is existant only in my mind.

Life is not about being super, it’s about living in what is best for all, this has nothing to do with being special or more or better, but living to the best of my ability in my body in consideration of all equally and this is including myself.

Will write more next blog with Self forgiveness and self correction.