Wednesday, April 27, 2016

"Don't question My Authority" Character and Solution - Day 505

A pattern I am noticing at my work that I have been participating in and not taking responsibility for has been when I am becoming irritated at others, not outright or not even a lot of the time, but there are moments where I will become irritated and frustrated as if I allowed these back chat thoughts to accumulate and then they come out in behavior or specific energy presences I’ll be in toward these people. What I am starting to realize more and more is that even though I may seem like I am not effecting others or I am not out right reacting to others in my presence, that even small resistances or irritations that I hold in, resonately can be felt by others and their behavior will in turn change. Before I started taking more and more responsibility for my thought, word, and deed, I would blame the other person for being the problem, reacting and causing a situation in the office or where ever we are, it was them not me. Though now, I am seeing how my very behavior, even in the slightest of movements or non-movements that I make, even one word that I say where I am in a slight reaction, overtime or even in that moment will change the person receiving my behavior and reactions in a way that is not supportive, and thus I can effect and change another persons presence and so have outflows in this instance that are not best for all, which is unacceptable.

So I am learning and realizing the responsibility I do hold within walking and being aware as I am of my own mind, my own thoughts, my own reactions, and having the tools of self support and self change I have been walking for six years now, I realize I must move myself to change myself always, it is always the question of ‘who am I in this moment?;. Those in my environment are not the one’s who are responsible at this stage because they have little to no knowledge of self honesty and self forgiveness, and thus their only access to becoming this is through my example and my living presence of myself. So I am moving myself here and forward to stop all reactions within me and not move until I am clear within looking at myself first before I speak or assist another person.

I will be walking the pattern/character that is playing out here in this specific scenario with another person at work and the solutions/living words I will support myself with to not accept anything less then what is best for all and changing myself to become my highest potential.

The character I saw that was playing out within this specific scenario is where my authority was being thwarted and I was becoming competitive and fearful of another attempting to tell me what to do and how to do my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the character of being the authority over others and placing value in this as if I am more then or superior to others, where I am believing myself to have the right and the privilege to direct and not be questioned or told what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become superior within my work position because I hold a leadership role over others and have created the belief that I am more then others or better equipped to be in this position and blindly placed a higher value in myself then others in my working environment because of this perceived authority I have over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive I have the right to tell people what to do and be pushy if I need to be to get people moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to use force to move people rather then living the words patience, gentleness, and support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able and have the right to not be questioned due to what I have to do and deal with at work, when I see, realize, and understand that I am not considering nor standing in anyone else’s shoes, but my own and desiring sympathy and recognition from others for what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nasty and spiteful toward others when I am not seen within an authority stand point and so within this become reactive in my backchat that this person is stepping out of line and that I should be respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a power trip where I believe myself to be special and more then others based on what I do rather then see, realize, and understand that we are all doing work and all are equally here to be honored and respected for participating and supporting the flow of the work done and doing our best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see the bad of another and harp on that instead of seeing, realizing and understanding it’s not about the other at all, but who am I within what I do, how do I behave, and where am I standing within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be more based on the placement I am in in the company instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s about each one being equals and supporting all to be there best as I support myself to stand in my best and do what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop moving in energy as irritation and take responsibility for myself where I see I am able to change and live the word support, where I can stand as a support for another when the moment arises rather then going into reaction and conflict.

I commit myself to see all in my work place as well as my world as equals and each one playing a role/part to support the whole of the business grow and stay prosperous.

I commit myself to stand with others as equals realizing that my role is not based on what I do but who I am within what I do and how I stand as a supportive example for others to be the best they can be.

I commit myself to live the word humility and see what I can learn from others and be assisted within their presence to grow and expand.

I commit myself to live the words patience’s and gentleness with others as how I would like to be treated if I was in the same position.

I commit myself to write out the systems and directions and become more self directed, so I can become a leader that is effective and supports all to be the best they can be.

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