Sunday, February 24, 2013

Day 233 – The Control Freak Character – Inflexibility




So often I have this pain in my ankles that cause an ache within them, I asked Sunette one time what mindrelationship does this consist of and she told me inflexibility. This making sense because obviously with the ankles soar and not able to work in full capacity, I am inflexible to move my feet as normal, inflexible meaning I am limited.

I see this inflexibility often when I go into a desire to control my situation and what is going on around me, this inflexibility is usually based on a desire or an expectation I hold, and will do little to deter from what it is that I have set in my mind to do. This causing my actions to be inflexible with others not really hearing them, not considering them and who they are in the living in their lives, not considering where they come from and so only look at the points of were I will benefit and get my desires fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible within what I am doing or who I am being with others when what I expect does not come to fruition and so I go into like a militant mode where I will not see nor allow any points of consideration outside of the expectation that I had created in my mind to live out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life within a point of self interest where I limit myself with others due to a desire to control the conditions of what I think should happen rather then allowingthe life to live and be considered equally to how I consider myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire within me to control others based on believing that I know better and that I am smarter then others, justifying my actions towards them in notseeing reality for what it is and causing abuse as been done within the previous post of me making someone cry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a person who only looks at how I will benefit and how I can meet my desires and not take into consideration the others that are also to be considered into the equation because they are in the environment with me and are equally as important as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible within what I will do or not do based on my idea of what I desire to have happen within different scenerios and will not budge even if reality is showing me otherwise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to others or hear what they have to say until I myself have proven what they say is true or not, because I desire for myself to always be the last word and the person I trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust others in my life an always look at others in this idea in my head that they wil fail and will not be able to do it as I will be able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea in my head of others always going to fail and live this out within my living where I will not allow others to do things or move within projects where I see that there is potential or they have failed in the past, and thus deem them and define them in this way without allowing others to correct themselves, when I see and realize I make the same mistakes but give me the luxury to redeem myself within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be intolerant to others If they fail and not give them a fair estimation to try again and correct themselves.


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Journey to Life Group
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